Taking babies to special events

[chri'stina 190]

I remember the saying 'Children are seen and not heard'

All my mom or dad had to do was give me a look!

I think many people regarded that saying as archaic, back when patriarchy was the norm and fathers were emotionally distant with their children.

I'm not sure that's universal even 20 or 30 years ago. Maybe with my grandparents, but they were cold and emotionally distant. Nice people, but not warm towards children.

My parents expected us to behave, but they didn't expect us to be furniture to be trotted out as conversation pieces. Kids are not porcelain dolls.

In my opinion, what's changed is that people who are single expect children to disappear from public life. How awful, there was a child at my wedding, so no one looked-at-me-looked-at-me the entire time because the flower girl was cute. How awful of that mother to expect that she could go on an airplane. Doesn't she know that even seeing a toddler makes my widdle heart-rate rise? Why can't she keep the kid from crying? Its ears hurt? Mothers should not be on planes. Or in malls. I am in a public space but nothing shall ever disturb me.

Kids should behave but I think there's plenty of blame to go around. Ever tried helping the mom distract the crying toddler on the airplane? Works a lot better than shooting her dirty looks.

The plane part does freak me out. We plan on going to India after the baby comes, maybe not til 8 months later, but I am so nervous about being on a plane that long with people who might be really impatient about having a baby around. It's not happening for a long time, but still I dread thinking about it. I always pray that we have a quiet baby. But either way, we do have to go on a plane with our baby whether he cries a lot or not.

[DeadPoolX 9]

I didn't grab the kid hard or hurt him. I specifically made sure that, while I grabbed him firmly, I did so without the necessary force to cause pain. I had no intention of injuring the child. However, I wanted to impress upon him that what he was doing was wrong and that he should immediately sit himself down upon his seat and remain there for the duration of his meal.

I have no doubt that you had no intention of hurting him. But the only people who know exactly how hard you grabbed him are you and the child. If he had started to cry and ran to tell his parents that "that man just hurt me". Well, I'll just say that I wouldn't want to be in that situation.

If the parents had been paying a bit of attention to the child in the first place, he wouldn't have been running around the restaurant for the incident to happen.

I'm sure they never even noticed what DeadPoolX did.

I'm sure you're right, but I would never want to take that chance in this litigation-happy world we live in today. CYOA!

I completely understand what you're saying, Jenn. In some respect, I agree with you.

Had I not been angry at the time, I may have attempted to speak with the parents and/or restaurant management. However, I was quite annoyed (I get that way whenever anyone -- child or adult -- puts their hands all over my food and they're no the ones preparing it) with that child and I wanted him to stop.

Part of the reason I didn't go to the parents is (as I said before), they probably wouldn't have done anything remotely helpful. I've noticed that many parents immediately get very defensive the moment someone says anything negative about their child or children. It doesn't matter if the statement is correct (usually the parent will have some idea if their son or daughter could've have what is described, but they won't want to admit it -- not to a stranger and not to themselves either), the parent will still react defensively and as if insulted that I could anything but praise their "little bundle of joy."

Restaurant management is a lot like public school administration. They're all fairly useless unless they either catch the act in process or something so catastrophic happens, they must get involved. You mentioned lawsuits, Jenn? Due to our highly litigious society, restaurant owners are becoming more and more afraid to make and enforce the rules they want inside of their establishment.

I honestly can't understand how some parents (with children) could be so self-absorbed that they don't realize that a five-star restaurant (or any other business-related or adult social function) get-together is for adults. The other patrons came there to have a peaceful, relaxing, most likely romantic and I'll bet, kid-free meal. If you want to be selfish, just look at it from your own point of view -- how enjoyable would the experience be if you needed to tend to your children every ten minutes? Furthermore, how interested do you think a child is practically anything adults talk about (unless, of course, it directly relates to and is about, him or her).

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I remember the saying 'Children are seen and not heard'

All my mom or dad had to do was give me a look!

I think many people regarded that saying as archaic, back when patriarchy was the norm and fathers were emotionally distant with their children.

I'm not sure that's universal even 20 or 30 years ago. Maybe with my grandparents, but they were cold and emotionally distant. Nice people, but not warm towards children.

My parents expected us to behave, but they didn't expect us to be furniture to be trotted out as conversation pieces. Kids are not porcelain dolls.

In my opinion, what's changed is that people who are single expect children to disappear from public life. How awful, there was a child at my wedding, so no one looked-at-me-looked-at-me the entire time because the flower girl was cute. How awful of that mother to expect that she could go on an airplane. Doesn't she know that even seeing a toddler makes my widdle heart-rate rise? Why can't she keep the kid from crying? Its ears hurt? Mothers should not be on planes. Or in malls. I am in a public space but nothing shall ever disturb me.

Kids should behave but I think there's plenty of blame to go around. Ever tried helping the mom distract the crying toddler on the airplane? Works a lot better than shooting her dirty looks.

Amen to that, sister. It really takes a village...at least that's how it worked for thousands of years.

As for funny signs, there is a diner nearby we go to sometimes, the people are very friendly there and don't care about kids being there, but they have funny signs up and one is "Unattended Children Will be Sold As Slaves".

:lol:

[pedroh 21]

I didn't grab the kid hard or hurt him. I specifically made sure that, while I grabbed him firmly, I did so without the necessary force to cause pain. I had no intention of injuring the child. However, I wanted to impress upon him that what he was doing was wrong and that he should immediately sit himself down upon his seat and remain there for the duration of his meal.

I have no doubt that you had no intention of hurting him. But the only people who know exactly how hard you grabbed him are you and the child. If he had started to cry and ran to tell his parents that "that man just hurt me". Well, I'll just say that I wouldn't want to be in that situation.

If the parents had been paying a bit of attention to the child in the first place, he wouldn't have been running around the restaurant for the incident to happen.

I'm sure they never even noticed what DeadPoolX did.

I'm sure you're right, but I would never want to take that chance in this litigation-happy world we live in today. CYOA!

I completely understand what you're saying, Jenn. In some respect, I agree with you.

Had I not been angry at the time, I may have attempted to speak with the parents and/or restaurant management. However, I was quite annoyed (I get that way whenever anyone -- child or adult -- puts their hands all over my food and they're no the ones preparing it) with that child and I wanted him to stop.

Part of the reason I didn't go to the parents is (as I said before), they probably wouldn't have done anything remotely helpful. I've noticed that many parents immediately get very defensive the moment someone says anything negative about their child or children. It doesn't matter if the statement is correct (usually the parent will have some idea if their son or daughter could've have what is described, but they won't want to admit it -- not to a stranger and not to themselves either), the parent will still react defensively and as if insulted that I could anything but praise their "little bundle of joy."

Restaurant management is a lot like public school administration. They're all fairly useless unless they either catch the act in process or something so catastrophic happens, they must get involved. You mentioned lawsuits, Jenn? Due to our highly litigious society, restaurant owners are becoming more and more afraid to make and enforce the rules they want inside of their establishment.

I honestly can't understand how some parents (with children) could be so self-absorbed that they don't realize that a five-star restaurant (or any other business-related or adult social function) get-together is for adults. The other patrons came there to have a peaceful, relaxing, most likely romantic and I'll bet, kid-free meal. If you want to be selfish, just look at it from your own point of view -- how enjoyable would the experience be if you needed to tend to your children every ten minutes? Furthermore, how interested do you think a child is practically anything adults talk about (unless, of course, it directly relates to and is about, him or her).

happens all the time, I dunno why some parents are so stupid, or want to avoid reality about their bad behaved children..

[Fandango 1,440]

I remember the saying 'Children are seen and not heard'

All my mom or dad had to do was give me a look!

I think many people regarded that saying as archaic, back when patriarchy was the norm and fathers were emotionally distant with their children.

Well I remember that statement, and my father was not emotionally distant.

There were times I could run amok but there were times when I was expected to behave. I don't think trotting out the 'emotionally distant' excuse is even fair here. That's an incorrect supposition.

[MrsAmera 41]

Stina& Suj:

Just a note on the flying issue. I traveled with my first son by place at the age of 14months - to Morocco. Minneapolis, New York, Paris, Casablanca. It was well a long trip. He slept sometimes and he was up (mostly the New York-Paris jaunt) and I was alone with him. The stewardess (Air France) was incredibly nice and I was blessed to have very kind people around me, including an Italian couple who happily played with him and even held him for awhile so I could eat my meal. We got up and took walks, I brought him some toys and kept him as occupied as I could. And honestly I had no bad comments. Now I travel almost monthly with BOTH of my kids (4 and 10 months). At 8 months an international flight would be very very difficult. I would go either younger 5 or 6 months where they are still quite sleepy and can be rocked to sleep or quieted down. Or older - 12months and up where they can be entertained with toys, coloring etc and you can feed them solid foods (less hassle). It's really hard flying with the 10 month old now. The 4 year old is an angel. But it's tough keeping the other one quiet and happy. If your husband is with obviously that will also help but those 6 months inbetween are just rough