Removing from this journey

[discerned1 0]

Hi all. I am just on here to say thanks for your comments and concerns and things. My fiance, if you want to call him that, and I have split because of his dishonesty and suspicion. He said that he received the medical results on Monday and that he failed. He wouldn't tell me what he failed. He kept acting stuck on stupid. He said that's why he didn't go to the interview. He could have went and probably got a blue slip or something to return and have another medical done and gotten a visa. THE IDIOT! No communication, no working it out. He had me in suspense all day long Tuesday. I even took the day off work to hear from him. Here I was thinking that he was at the interview, when all along he didn't go. He didn't call me or text me or email me, NOTHING. He didn't have the guts to call me when he received the medical results ON MONDAY! We could have called the embassy to reschedule or something.

He took my money which was originally meant for the embassy fee and spent it on things while he was in Lagos. He told me he spent it. Ugh! I tried calling him all day long Tuesday and Wednesday only to have the phone ring and ring. I knew he was nearby because one time I called he turned his phone off in the middle of the ringing. I was in a total state of oblivian all day long!! I didn't know what was going on. Was it something I'd done? Surely, not. All I had given him was my understanding, patience, love, and time...and I've sacrificed a lot for him too. He still wouldn't have told me anything if I hadn't perservered on the situation and almost literally had to beg him to tell me what happened.

Finally, I got a hold of him on Wednesday and he was already back in Port Harcourt! He went through all this almost without telling me about anything?! The JERK! (Excuse my language.) I know that he probably felt intimidated to tell me the whole story about his medicals, but to leave Lagos and go back to Port Harcourt without calling me and letting me know anything was toooootally strange. I am glad that I prepared myself with God's covering throughout this process. If it wasn't for God's saving grace in my life, I probably would have flew me and my mob down to Nigeria to beat him in the head. Three whole years have we known each other and it has come down to this. I can't believe how much he's changed since three years?!...and yes there is more than meets the eye between him and I as well that we went through during this journey. The pretences, the lies, the childishness. I will not go into modified detail here though.

What a fool I was. I just kept calling myself that. God loves this fool, God's grace is sufficient and his mercies are new. I guess you live and you learn. NEVER AGAIN, NEVERRRRRR AGAIN!!!! I am glad also that I didn't find this out during married life! WHEW! Thank you JESUS! You've done it again! God has someone better in store for me. I know that all African men are not like this one, but just be careful out there and pray for discernment and perserverance. Have all your ducks in a row. God never fails. Thank you all for everything.

[boo boo 1]

I just want to say that.....I admire your strength, you deserve to be happy and to have the best in life!!!!! You seem like such a sweet, loving person...and I am sure that one day...you will find your true love...take care and God Bless You.

[*JG* 2]

I'm very sorry.

[Zee Bee 61]

So sorry to hear about this. But you are right....God looks out for His own. Better for you to find out now than during marriage.

There is someone out there who is worthy of your love, loyalty and devotion.

God bless

[onwa 6]

Sorry that you went through 3 years--but be so glad that you found out before he came.

[Queen Jenn 0]

I am so sorry for the pain that you are going through right now. But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. GOD is with you and HE gives you what is best for you, even when it isn't what you think you want.

[Naijagal 0]

im so sorry...God knows best

[akatagirl 0]

Discerned1,

I am very sorry that your 3 year visa journey ended like this but God knows best and makes things happen for a reason....This man is not meant for you because you deserve someone who will cherish you and treat you with honesty, respect and love. May your heart heal fast and may God unite you with the the one you were meant to spent you life with very soon!!!!

[Jasman0717 8]

It's always sad to break up but it is good you found out now rather then later. Good luck to you

[Kelechi 0]

May God give you the desires of your heart.

[jamyleandkhadijah 0]

Hi all. I am just on here to say thanks for your comments and concerns and things. My fiance, if you want to call him that, and I have split because of his dishonesty and suspicion. He said that he received the medical results on Monday and that he failed. He wouldn't tell me what he failed. He kept acting stuck on stupid. He said that's why he didn't go to the interview. He could have went and probably got a blue slip or something to return and have another medical done and gotten a visa. THE IDIOT! No communication, no working it out. He had me in suspense all day long Tuesday. I even took the day off work to hear from him. Here I was thinking that he was at the interview, when all along he didn't go. He didn't call me or text me or email me, NOTHING. He didn't have the guts to call me when he received the medical results ON MONDAY! We could have called the embassy to reschedule or something.

He took my money which was originally meant for the embassy fee and spent it on things while he was in Lagos. He told me he spent it. Ugh! I tried calling him all day long Tuesday and Wednesday only to have the phone ring and ring. I knew he was nearby because one time I called he turned his phone off in the middle of the ringing. I was in a total state of oblivian all day long!! I didn't know what was going on. Was it something I'd done? Surely, not. All I had given him was my understanding, patience, love, and time...and I've sacrificed a lot for him too. He still wouldn't have told me anything if I hadn't perservered on the situation and almost literally had to beg him to tell me what happened.

Finally, I got a hold of him on Wednesday and he was already back in Port Harcourt! He went through all this almost without telling me about anything?! The JERK! (Excuse my language.) I know that he probably felt intimidated to tell me the whole story about his medicals, but to leave Lagos and go back to Port Harcourt without calling me and letting me know anything was toooootally strange. I am glad that I prepared myself with God's covering throughout this process. If it wasn't for God's saving grace in my life, I probably would have flew me and my mob down to Nigeria to beat him in the head. Three whole years have we known each other and it has come down to this. I can't believe how much he's changed since three years?!...and yes there is more than meets the eye between him and I as well that we went through during this journey. The pretences, the lies, the childishness. I will not go into modified detail here though.

What a fool I was. I just kept calling myself that. God loves this fool, God's grace is sufficient and his mercies are new. I guess you live and you learn. NEVER AGAIN, NEVERRRRRR AGAIN!!!! I am glad also that I didn't find this out during married life! WHEW! Thank you JESUS! You've done it again! God has someone better in store for me. I know that all African men are not like this one, but just be careful out there and pray for discernment and perserverance. Have all your ducks in a row. God never fails. Thank you all for everything.

Oh God! First of all i am very to hear that your 3yrs VJ ended like this; this kind of men are given us the good ones bad names.... He said he failed the medicals what part did he fail was it the physical or the lab test. To my knowledge the only thing that will make him fail the medicals or not going to the interview is only if he tested HIV positive and he's not man enough to tell you that; because all other tests that were taken at the medicals are treatable like if he was tested positive for STD's, X-ray all of these diseases are treatable.

Believe me God has a reason for doing this, maybe he doesn't deserve you or he's not the right man for you plus i know that God has a special package for somewhere; i truly admire your courage after spending lots of $$$, time and many more still you handled the whole issue with maturity and confidence....Please take heart, have patient God will surprise you soon.

Take care and God bless.

Jamil

[NaijaPrincess Need NaijaPrince 0]

Girl you are a good one!!! Sorry to hear of your bad fortune but in a way it is a blessing depending on how u look at it. Thank God for grace bcoz if it were me I would have been on the 1st plane to choke him!!!! Hang in there!

[moon1968 0]

discerned,

I am so sorry to hear about your situation.......YOu need time to let your heart heal. You have been nothing but positive to me and others I want to thank you for that......Also to thank you for posting your story, We all like to hear the good stories and belive in happy endings. You had the strength and courge to write and tell others about your experience.......That will help all of us keep in the back of our minds what possiblites could lay ahead for all of us going through this Journey......To fall in love with anybody is a risk weather they are here in the US or in another country........to open your heart and give it away is one of the greatest gifts you can give.....One day your heart will heal and this will soon be but a memory.....That one you long for will come along when you lest expect it and help mend your broken heart.......Will have you in my thoughts and please take care.......

[ForeverAmen 0]

I am so sorry for your hurt. In addition I admire your courage. Continue to move forward, and please do not give up on l-o-v-e.

By the way, I recently sent you a PM, please check it out when you get a moment.

Boaz

[JJWashington 0]

Discerned

I am so sorry that this has happened to you. You have been a positive force during the entire time I have been on this forum. I agree with the others that it is SO much better you found this out now rather than later. Please mourn now, but do not give up on love. God does have someone waiting for you.