Death of Co-sponsor

[Misty1979 0]

Between the most recent events in our family and the visa issues that have just arrived as of now, both my hubby and I are beside ourselves trying to cope with the new obstacles ahead of us.

First and foremost: Early yesterday afternoon a tragic, horrible accident happened in which my mother in law almost drowned in the ocean, and my father in law died saving her life. I've been here in NC visiting for a week now, and received a frantic phone call from my mom-in-law telling me that my father-in-law had almost drowned and had just been pulled from the ocean and was at this very moment being given CPR...trying to bring him back to life.

God bless her soul....my M.I.L asked me to go break it to my hubby very gently that his father was fighting for his life, and needed him there.

After hanging up with my M.I.L I rushed into the bedroom to wake up my hubby who had just woken up (he'd been awake last night finishing off homework from his evening classes at college), to tell him the bad news.

We arrived at the beach where his father had been fighting for his life expecting to find an ambulance with his father in it fighting to contain his life, instead only to find his mother and a police officer waiting for us. As we approached, his mother informed us that his father didn't make it, and that he had passed away shortly after the phone call.

We spent all of yesterday grieving with his mother. I cannot possibly even go into words how much this has hurt my husband's family. His mother feels entirely responsible since he died saving her life.

My husband is staying strong..I'm so extremely proud of him..he's been holding it together for his whole family thus far, and I admire him so much for his strength.

Even though he was only my father in law, I am grieving more than I thought possible right now. As I recall my husband telling me right before I first met his father "he was the kind of man who would without hesitation give you the shirt off his back," and both him and my mother in law have gone far beyond that since I joined their family. It's safe to say, both of them have been adopted parents of mine, and I can't begin to put into words how much sorrow I feel both over his loss, and the sudden burden of guilt my M.I.L has been carrying the last 24 hours.

Now it gets tricky. I don't even like bringing this up, because I feel like I'm being selfish and horrible, but I know it's an issue we will have to face in the near future, so I realize it's something we need to look at ASAP.

My father in law was also our co-sponsor for our Affadavit of Support. My husband is attending school right now and is making a few thousand short of the min. amount required for a sponsor, therefore we needed some help in this area.

With my father in law passing, and an interview due any day now (*cough cough*) we are stuck worrying about trying to scramble together enough financial resources in a possibly limited amount of time to satisfy the Montreal Consulate.

I don't know much about my mother/father in law's financial business, but I don't think there was a life insurance policy in place. My mother in law will be struggling to keep herself on her feet, since she is working a job that doesn't pay much, and will be selling her property (she would rather not live in the house they shared together since it has too many memories for her to deal with right now.) They have in total three pieces of land, two vehicles, and more than enough to meet the financial requirements asset-wise.

The only options for us right now would be for us to fill out a new Affadavit of Support using her assets, since she doesn't make enough in her current job to meet the income requirements alone, or to seek other help like his brother or uncle.

The brother/uncle option doesn't seem as logical since they aren't as close to us, so we don't feel like we should try calling on their help for this.

We know she would be more than happy to sign the forms for us, since his father was very supportive of it as well, however we just feel awkward laying this burden on her. Not only that, we also worry that a co-sponsor using mostly assets (even if well above the min. required amount) would not satisfy the interviewer come that time, and that we would be struggling last minute to find a way around this last obstacle.

Either way, which ever option we choose, we won't approach it until the time draws nearer. Right now we realize we need to be giving as much support to his mother as we possibly can, and generally being there for our family. We are only trying to look at our future with as much clarity as possible, since what has happened now can affect both our lives in a big way.

That being said, does anyone have any experience using mostly assets to cover the financial part of the Affadavit of support? Is it going to be too risky to bother with? I really don't know where to go from here, so any help would be appreciated.

[IR5FORMUMSIE 850]

I'm truly and incredibly sorry for your loss. I know words are of little import at this time but if it's any comfort your F-I-L died a hero's death. I really can't think of a more noble way to pass. Please just wait for the grief to subside before doing anything. Once it has passed then you will be better able to make a prudent decision. I have heard of using assets to cover the financial part of the Affidavit of Support and it isn't too different than what you have now, but I wish I could be of more help. At least the house will be sold by the time of the interview so you'll have some liquid assets to show. I would try to get an appraisal from a realtor or a bank officer or if you have recent financial records of transactions in the area (try to see if there is a real estate paper with houses in the area for sale or a tax assessment with the property value). I wish I was more help.

[JJWashington 0]

I am sorry for your loss

[Misty1979 0]

I'm truly and incredibly sorry for your loss. I know words are of little import at this time but if it's any comfort your F-I-L died a hero's death. I really can't think of a more noble way to pass. Please just wait for the grief to subside before doing anything. Once it has passed then you will be better able to make a prudent decision. I have heard of using assets to cover the financial part of the Affidavit of Support and it isn't too different than what you have now, but I wish I could be of more help. At least the house will be sold by the time of the interview so you'll have some liquid assets to show. I would try to get an appraisal from a realtor or a bank officer or if you have recent financial records of transactions in the area (try to see if there is a real estate paper with houses in the area for sale or a tax assessment with the property value). I wish I was more help.

Thank you very much for your response. The acknowledgement from you that he died a "hero's death" meant more to me than you will ever know. That has been the one piece of mind that we have all been able to hold onto throughout all this. He stuck to his ways right to the end. He gave right from the moment he knew how, and kept doing so until his last breath.

I'm glad you mentioned the liquid assets part of the equation, I hadn't actually thought that far ahead as to the selling of the house. My mind has been pretty con-fuzzled for the last 24 or so hours

You've been an unbelievable amount of help with just your kind words, and I can't thank you enough for that

[Carlawarla 1]

First off, let me say how sorry I am for you and your husband, and his family's loss. What a tragic situation.

I note from your timeline you don't have an interview date yet. Maybe you do and your timeline has not been updated? Perhaps you're hoping it's soon...

I'd take more than a few days to rally around your family right now. You mentioned you don't think he had life insurance, but you really don't know that. I suppose you know what kind of financial situation they were in given your F.I.L. had filled out an Affadavit of Support already for you.

I can understand you feeling guilty or selfish, thinking of these kinds of things right now. Don't our minds work in strange ways! Note that Im including mine as well here!

I'm sure in a week, after the funeral and reading of the will and such is over, you could talk to your husband about this, and you could both talk to your M.I.L. I'm sure it will work out.

I am very close to my In-Laws as well, and call them Mom and Dad. I"m glad you are there for everyone right now as well. Keep everyone close, and care for one another. We're thinking of you.

Carla

[lynamon 0]

I am sooo sorry for your tragic loss. Right now just focus on getting through this terrible time. In a couple of weeks take a good look at the situation and I'm sure that your options will be much clearer .. you have some time before your interview in Montreal.

[misa 2]

I'm soooo sorry to hear about your loss.

As for the affidavit of support, any USC or LPR can be a co-sponsor. Does your husband have a close friend willing to co-sponsor?

Edited October 10, 2007 by misa

[djc 0]

Oh Misty!!! I don't have any advice for you, but I am sending lots of hugs and support to you and your family. You have been my internet buddy for a while now and I wish I could be there for you.

You will probably have lots of time to figure out the co-sponsor thing, but for now, just be with your family.

[MissStacey 1]

This is such shocking news. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Edited October 10, 2007 by Stacey33

[neiks 19]

So sorry for your loss.

[vnoe 0]

I am so truly sorry for your families loss.

[trailmix 77]

Hi Misty,

That is so tragic, I'm so sorry that happened to you and your family. I was reading it and - well it's just shocking. Your FIL sounds like he was a truly good man and I am sure with time your MIL will know that he did what he had to do and in no way is it her fault, poor woman!

I understand that you are worried about you I-864 situation, it is a big deal and I'm sure, as others have mentioned, you will get it sorted out over the next few weeks. There are some notes on page 3 of the I-864 in relation to a substitute sponsor.

The thing with assets is that one stipulation is that it has to be seen to not cause undue hardship if the asset must be sold to support the immigrant. As you mentioned, the assets will exceed the required amount, therefore you shouldn't have a problem with that. The assets must equal 5 times the poverty guidelines for the household size. There are examples of how to work out this scenario on page 9 of the I-864 instructions. Also something to note is that those assets can be used to make up the part where income falls short - so as your Husband has some earnings that will help as well.

Anyway, we are only using assets and our I-864 has been accepted, we were never RFE'd for assets, just domicile.

Hang in there.

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

May He rest in peace. I'm so sorry for your loss.

~Laura

[misa 2]

Misty, I had a thought. You're out west so you could interview for a K3, enter the U.S. file for EAD and deal with your CR-1 later. You could always postpone your CR-1 interview until you get a co-sponsor.

Vancouver, last time I checked, does not require a I-134 (sort of a mini-affidavit) for K3 applicants.

[kimmbo 0]

Misty, first I wanted to say how sorry I am for you and for your husband... the death of a parent is tragic no matter, how it happened or how old the child.. my husband just lost his mom last month and its been extremely hard for him and Thanksgiving was pretty rough.. and Im so sorry that you have to go through all of this and worry about this process at the same time...

Misa, has a great idea about going with the K-3 and going through Vancouver, then you wont have to worry about this right now...(still dont understand why Montreal requires the I-134, and Vancouver doesnt!)

I wish you the best of luck, and send good thoughts and prayers your way..