Never rains..

[perfect 39]

Well...deep breath...it seems for me at the moment that it never rains, it just pours.

My boss is the biggest A***ole in the world. I was moved from another part of the company to work with him because every other assistant had left and they thought I would be able to put up with his challenging behaviour as well as bring him into line.

Two weeks ago my husband was laid off from his job and has had no success so far in finding another one and it doesn't look like it's going to happen any time soon - so at the moment we are running at $5000 short each month. This also means that I can't look for another job myself and am stuck being miserable every day just being at work.

Last night my son was in an accident in his car. All the witnesses, the Police and even the casualty confirmed that my son wasn't at fault but he is only 18 and completely devastated about the whole event. Although he wasn't hurt physically, emotionally he is a mess and of course is worried that living in such a litigous place, even though everyone says it wasn't his fault, he will be sued or affect his insurance negatively and of course he has this huge fear that he will be deported for something that wasn't his fault (and which all the witnesses said he absolutely could not have avoided).

My son felt that my husband wasn't really interested or supportive because he didn't reach out emotionally to him (he did what he needed to do at the scene of the accident but no more), and I don't feel supported because my husband "doesn't do emotional", so even though I felt upset I wasn't able to cry or discuss how I felt. My husband says I've raised a "sissy".

I can understand why my husband is unemotional but I think my son had every right to be upset and concerned about the impact of this event. I feel caught between the devil and the deep blue sea as I"m supporting everyone else in the family and trying to hold everything together by myself and feeling like I'm not getting any support or that if I show a moment of weakness in being emotional, that my husband distances himself even further.

I know in time this will all resolve itself but I needed to share how I feel so I don't sit and cry or explode with frustration.

Thanks for listening.

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

You're husband will find a new job. Tell your son not to worry so much. It's just a small speed bump in the road of life.

Is your son Emo?

Edited March 29, 2007 by LuckyStrike

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

wrong thread

Edited March 29, 2007 by LuckyStrike

[broma25 2]

Perfect

I can totally relate to your situation. I too feel like I am the only one holding it all together, and quite frankly if I could I would be on the first plane out of here and back to the UK. Very difficult to do (my hubby wants to stay here), but I never envisaged getting by would be so hard.

[PaulineA 1]

Hi,

I'm so sorry that you are having problems. I don't think it was very nice of your husband to say that you raised a siisy, you shuold definetly tell him that your not happy that he said this. I wish you good luck for future happiness.

[Daisy 0]

Im so sorry you are having a horrid time.

Go gently on yourself.

Give your son a huge hug and remind him he is not at fault. Unfortunately these things happen in life.

We all need to be able to show our vulnerabilities NO matter how strong we appear.

Life issues have this way of hitting us when least expected. Choose your moment and sit down with hubby and share your feelings. Most important is that you both face issues together as a team.

Sending you a huge {{{{{HUG}}}}}

daisy

[Ban Hammer 14,448]

1. bosses who are jerks should pay the workers more for putting up with them.

2. if laid off, can't he get unemployment? and if you are now running 5k short a month then it's time to trim expenses in a draconian way.

3. i can understand your son being concerned about the accident, since he's young, yet it sounds like it's nothing to be wound up over. and stepfather should reassure the stepson too.

4. son and stepfather need to have a long talk. each meeting the other halfway would work wonders.

best wishes

[eau_xplain 2]

**BIG HUGS**

Sorry to hear about the tough time you are going through. Hope husband finds a new job soon. Maybe he is just worried about being out of work and can't focus on giving emotional support.

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

1. bosses who are jerks should pay the workers more for putting up with them.

2. if laid off, can't he get unemployment? and if you are now running 5k short a month then it's time to trim expenses in a draconian way.

3. i can understand your son being concerned about the accident, since he's young, yet it sounds like it's nothing to be wound up over. and stepfather should reassure the stepson too.

4. son and stepfather need to have a long talk. each meeting the other halfway would work wonders.

best wishes

Good advice Charles.

[MichelleandCraig 1]

Hi Perfect...I'm so sorry for everything you're dealing with.

I agree with Charles..your son should relax over the accident...but, that said, it's probably a pretty typical response for his age AND in his situation...worried over immigration,etc. Most teens don't have to be concerned with things like that.

I see no reason to excuse your hubby from not being emotional though...and that's not to say he has to be emotive all over the place and constantly hearts, flowers and nothing but support all day every day...but he DOES need to be there for you...and especially during a time and in a situation when you really need him. That's what husbands and wives do, after all. Maybe a good heart to heart between you and him is in order as well.

I hope things improve for you soon, and I can certainly understand your need for someone to listen to you and to vent it all out...just make sure your hubby is aware that he should be there for you in the same way. M.

Sidenote: Elaine...email me if you like...I haven't talked to you for a little while. Hows J doing? I'm sorry to hear you're having a bit of rough time....hope to hear from you soon...if I don't, will PM you... M.