Nigeria Urhobo marriage tradition

[MeAlone 158]

Hello everyone!

Can somebody tell me how is the Nigerian and specifically Urhobo marriage tradition?

For now because we are waiting the fiance visa, I am more interested in traditions before the marriage? How necessary or important is for Nigerian man (or Urhobo man) to ask his family members for our marriage blessing? And how it is done? If it is done and necessary?

[Blondie26 43]

You can't get the k1, if you do the traditional marriage . It is considered marriage and you would be asked to apply for a spousal visa.

[MeAlone 158]

my fiance traveled saying he goes to ask the blessing of his family members for to marry me, he also mentioned he needs to buy drinks for them and maybe some food / snacks, he is from Warri, Delta state. Is it a tradition to ask the family blessing before the marriage?

I am reading and reading all over the internet and I can't find anything like this, only writing about the tradition to ask the bride's family for blessing and there are drinks and paying paying the dowry for her. I am not even in his country, he went alone and I would like to know about this before marriage family asking blessing tradition and how important is it in his culture?

Tasha

You can't get the k1, if you do the traditional marriage . It is considered marriage and you would be asked to apply for a spousal visa.

Thank you. I know about it and I am in US, not there. He said to me he went to ask for the family blessing, not a traditional marriage. I am confused what's that?

[Aishat919 14]

Nigerians are knkwn to be family people. Reguardless if they marry any ethnic group they always get the families blessings, is custom to them. My husband mom side of the family is Urhobo and my husnand is based in Warri,Delta state as well.If u have any further question i will be happy to answer,just DM me..

[MeAlone 158]

Nigerians are knkwn to be family people. Reguardless if they marry any ethnic group they always get the families blessings, is custom to them. My husband mom side of the family is Urhobo and my husnand is based in Warri,Delta state as well.If u have any further question i will be happy to answer,just DM me..

Thank you so much for your answer. I will PM you now

Tasha

and I am very happy and supportive with my fiance traditions, asking because I do wish to know better

[MeAlone 158]

With the help of a couple of friends I did sort it out. Yes, it is very traditional for Urhobo to ask the family for their blessing to be married, it's some kind of permission and I am very happy my fiance is doing it now. He is doing it alone and he is asking the blessing of his elderly to marry out of his tribe which I hope will be granted. (lol, at our age) I am very happy, it tells me he respects me and he really cares about being married to me for life.

We are planning this way:

1. Getting K1 visa an him coming to US

2. Marriage license and court wedding here in US

3. His green card application and him working for to pay for the next marriage ceremonies, lol

3. Church wedding here in US somewhere in a few months

4. Nigerian traditional wedding traveling to his family location probably in our 1 year anniversary and giving all respect to his family (he needs to work hard for us being very generous with his family then, lol).

I hope this post will be useful to other couples to do it well and not to get in traditional marriage and dowry before time. I wanted to clarify it for myself also

Tasha

[MeAlone 158]

It's asking the permit and the blessing to marry outside of his tribe from his family members.

Tasha

[Blondie26 43]

I'm sorry I'm not trying to burst your bubbles but I find this post questionable. I don't know how long you know or have dated this guy but asking for blessings from elders or family to marry outside his tribe????? Buying food,snacks and drinks??? I hope you did not pay for any of that?

[MeAlone 158]

I'm sorry I'm not trying to burst your bubbles but I find this post questionable. I don't know how long you know or have dated this guy but asking for blessings from elders or family to marry outside his tribe????? Buying food,snacks and drinks??? I hope you did not pay for any of that?

I know my fiance for exactly 1 year and I traveled 3 times staying at his house, living and cooking together, he lives in another country, not Nigeria now. And what the difference if he buys drinks for his family members and goes to visit his village asking for blessing. Is it a bad thing? I did ask some Nigerian friends and it's a lot of respect and a tradition.

But, please, if you have some doubts or some different information, share it here. I'll be happy to have your advice

[Blondie26 43]

I find it weird that's all.

Did you pay for his trip and the things he took to the village? As far as I know, men don't ask for blessings or permits from their family to marry any woman despite the race or tribe, they inform their parents or family members of their intentions to marry a certain woman and the family accompanies him to the woman's family and the ask for her hand in marriage, then the man and woman will be blessed traditionally which is now the traditional marriage. That is when they need the food and drinks.

What do I know? I am not from urhobo.

[MeAlone 158]

I find it weird that's all.

Did you pay for his trip and the things he took to the village? As far as I know, men don't ask for blessings or permits from their family to marry any woman despite the race or tribe, they inform their parents or family members of their intentions to marry a certain woman and the family accompanies him to the woman's family and the ask for her hand in marriage, then the man and woman will be blessed traditionally which is now the traditional marriage. That is when they need the food and drinks.

What do I know? I am not from urhobo.

Thank you. Interesting. No, I did not pay for anything and my presence is not required there, so it's NOT a marriage. But my fiance told me he even will do in writing the permit and blessing to authorize him to marry outside of his tribe and a couple of Urhobo friends did tell me it's the tradition in their tribe, it's not a ceremony, it's a visit and the family getting together, his family only. It's what I was asking my fiance and some friends too because I was as you thinking how not to get by mistake to traditional wedding thing and it's NOT.

If you have some more information, please, share, I would like to know and it's helpful to others too.

Tasha

[MeAlone 158]

I find it weird that's all.

Did you pay for his trip and the things he took to the village? As far as I know, men don't ask for blessings or permits from their family to marry any woman despite the race or tribe, they inform their parents or family members of their intentions to marry a certain woman and the family accompanies him to the woman's family and the ask for her hand in marriage, then the man and woman will be blessed traditionally which is now the traditional marriage. That is when they need the food and drinks.

What do I know? I am not from urhobo.

I guess we are talking about the same, he went to inform but it's not like in western culture, it's asking the oldest family members to get together and to inform them with respect and drinks, I am not sure about my fiance got some snacks or not, I remember him mentioning drinks. Yet he is from a very religious family and blessing is a must in their family, I know it.

[MeAlone 158]

Lol! I am sitting here at home in Dallas, my fiance is getting some drinks with his family in Nigeria talking to them about marrying a foreign woman and praying asking for blessing for to have a good future and here is a VJ member trying to convince me it's a traditional marriage.

And I am not even there, thousands of miles away.

Tasha

[Unshakable Faith 493]

Lol! I am sitting here at home in Dallas, my fiance is getting some drinks with his family in Nigeria talking to them about marrying a foreign woman and praying asking for blessing for to have a good future and here is a VJ member trying to convince me it's a traditional marriage.

And I am not even there, thousands of miles away.

Tasha

I understand what you mean, but to their defense... I know a married couple where one was in the US and one in Canada and their families came together in Nigeria and did their traditional marriage without either one of them there.

It is possible!

[MeAlone 158]

I understand what you mean, but to their defense... I know a married couple where one was in the US and one in Canada and their families came together in Nigeria and did their traditional marriage without either one of them there.

It is possible!

Yes but only if it's planned and with 2 families consent. My family is not there, lol

Tasha