Husband and I haven't seen each other since our wedding..

[juvy&Scott 0]

Hello fellow VJers,

As you can see in my signature, we're already half way thru this whole visa process stuff..we all know how nerve-wracking this whole experience is and a million thanks to VJ and all the friendly people in here who supported us during this journey. We still haven't got any word from NVC and the Consulate with regards to interview shedule but i have this very nagging question in my mind and i'm soo afraid this will affect the approval of my visa..Our situation is this ; we've been married for almost 5 yrs now but my husband and I didn't see each other since our wedding. He visited me here in PI twice- his first visit being the proposal,meeting the parents and some members of my family and asking my hand in marriage and the 2nd one was the wedding and honeymoon.. due to financial constraints, he wasnt able to visit me here again since then. .the same reason why he just started the petition last year..I wish he will be here during my interview but I dont think he can afford to do so plus the fact that he just got his current job just May of last year and he cannot take a leave of absence that easy..aside from the basic documents that the consulate requires,we can provide truckloads of documents as proof of our genuine marriage (emails,chat logs,wedding pictures,phonebills,money transfers,cards even letters and cards from his mom to me and vice versa) but the question is--would that be enough? Will my husband's absence and us not seeing each other for years create a doubt about our marriage?..if you are the CO, will you approve our petition?

I need your inputs plsss...

Thanks to everyone and God Bless.

Juvy

P.S. I dont want to elaborate in here how much we love each other..God knows how much and being not together for years is really really hard..we've been through a lot together despite the distance and there were also times that i want to lose whatever hope and faith i have but then what can I do? I LOVE HIM no matter what, I valued our marriage so much and I've waited for years for us to be finally together..I don't want to lose that chance during the consular interview so i need your opinions pls..thanks again.

[misa 2]

I think that those factors (only seeing each other 2 times in over 5 years) will most likely create a doubt in the mind of the CO. I hope for your sake I'm wrong though. Maybe ask others who have already gone through Manila to see what they think.

I think that in this situation, it's really important for him to be there with you for the interview. I know you said he probably can't but he really needs to try in this case. Can he borrow from his credit cards or friends or family to afford to fly there for at least the interview? I think he should ask his employer for the time off as this is an extenuating circumstance.

Good luck!

Edited March 9, 2007 by misa

[waitandwaitandwai 0]

Im sorry to say this but need to: If husband is not at the interview, you are in deep trouble...they will doubt the legitimacy of the marriage...5 years ....wouldnt you? do whatever it takes to have him there. They want to know you will be supported in US. I understand your situation...but if I were interviewing you...I would be shaking my head after you left.

[JadeVisa 0]

Lady, don't be discouraged by what you've been told in this forum. Not that I have anything against others. Everyone here is trying to help. But I just don't see why you should be so worried. Why, is it the sin of the couple to be separated for so long owing to events that were probably beyond their control? Many couples have been separated for years by war, money troubles and other unfortunate circumstances. And unlike you, these may not have been in touch at all. Don't tell me that's reason to believe their marriage is illegitimate or dubious! If they get reunited or still want to after all that time, doesn't that speak volumes about their feelings for each other?

While I have no experience in it yet, and it seems people in embassy are generally suspicious, I don't think you have that much to worry about. Just prove that you have been in constant communication in all that time. Prove this with letters, bank transfers, gifts, phone calls, etc. Also tell your husband to give sufficient explanation and proof of the difficulties he has been having. Show documentary proof. If you have received letters from his relatives, and he from yours, try showing that too to prove that your marriage is legitimate and that others know about it.

You may be asked why your husband did not file the petition right after you married. So tell them why. Or was K3 not yet available then? Or did you have no plans to move to his country at all?

That's my two cents' worth. If anything, your sticking together for this long should be proof of real love being present. Why would you have stayed together for that long (instead of separating and finding other partners) if it wasn't for that?

On the other hand, if he can come for the interview great. Misa is right. But if he can't, still, the fact he is petitioning you after all this time means he is attached to you. If this was a guy looking for nothing more than... you know what, he'd look elsewhere.

Oh, and I looked at your Timeline. Do you mind telling the board what kind of evidence you submitted at first? Why did they ask for more evidence? And what did you provide to be finally approved?

[zyggy 9]

Lady, don't be discouraged by what you've been told in this forum. Not that I have anything against others. Everyone here is trying to help. But I just don't see why you should be so worried. Why, is it the sin of the couple to be separated for so long owing to events that were probably beyond their control? Many couples have been separated for years by war, money troubles and other unfortunate circumstances. And unlike you, these may not have been in touch at all. Don't tell me that's reason to believe their marriage is illegitimate or dubious! If they get reunited or still want to after all that time, doesn't that speak volumes about their feelings for each other?

While I have no experience in it yet, and it seems people in embassy are generally suspicious, I don't think you have that much to worry about. Just prove that you have been in constant communication in all that time. Prove this with letters, bank transfers, gifts, phone calls, etc. Also tell your husband to give sufficient explanation and proof of the difficulties he has been having. Show documentary proof. If you have received letters from his relatives, and he from yours, try showing that too to prove that your marriage is legitimate and that others know about it.

You may be asked why your husband did not file the petition right after you married. So tell them why. Or was K3 not yet available then? Or did you have no plans to move to his country at all?

That's my two cents' worth. If anything, your sticking together for this long should be proof of real love being present. Why would you have stayed together for that long (instead of separating and finding other partners) if it wasn't for that?

On the other hand, if he can come for the interview great. Misa is right. But if he can't, still, the fact he is petitioning you after all this time means he is attached to you. If this was a guy looking for nothing more than... you know what, he'd look elsewhere.

Oh, and I looked at your Timeline. Do you mind telling the board what kind of evidence you submitted at first? Why did they ask for more evidence? And what did you provide to be finally approved?

I have to disagree with you here... people are only trying to give them a realistic view of the situation... The fact of the matter is normal relationships don't involve more than 5 years of separation and CO's are trained to spot and pick up abnormalcies and reject those petitioners that don't appear on it's face to have a true relationship. I'm afraid that you and your husband are going to have a higher burden of proof that your relationship is real and continuing and that you did not enter into it for the purpose of circumventing immigration laws... I'm not saying that it's insurmountable, but you probably want to talk to an immigration attorney that is experienced with Manila and have a consultation to be able to discuss a plan of attack for success...

You may very well have a very durable and real relationship.. your job is to convince a Consular Officer at Manila (which is one of the hardest consulates in the world to get a CR-1 visa through due to the high level of fraud) that this is the case.. and in this case, I think you're going to need help in building your case to prove that...

Edited March 9, 2007 by zyggy

[Yodrak 7]

JadeVisa,

Because she wants to get into the USA as an LPR, and her marriage to this USC enables her to do that?

I think that a lot of your other suggestions are pretty good, and should be followed, but the problems are not trivial. The required doubts on the part of the consular officer are going to be hard to overcome. I agree with zyggy that a consultation with a US immigration attorney who is familiar with the consulate would be a very wise move for this case.

Yodrak

..... If anything, your sticking together for this long should be proof of real love being present. Why would you have stayed together for that long (instead of separating and finding other partners) if it wasn't for that?

.....

Edited March 9, 2007 by Yodrak

[Mononoke28 134]

Listen, the CO will either approve you or not no matter what evidence you bring in. I've seen cases where they don't even ask for anything and cases being denied even is the USC spouse was present at the interview. Just pray to God that things will turn out ok. You can only do so much and if he can't be there, he can't. Just have faith.

[Jasman0717 8]

Listen, the CO will either approve you or not no matter what evidence you bring in. I've seen cases where they don't even ask for anything and cases being denied even is the USC spouse was present at the interview. Just pray to God that things will turn out ok. You can only do so much and if he can't be there, he can't. Just have faith.

Don't try to speculate too much, just go to the interview with a positive attitude. I would recommend taking as much evidence as possible to the interview....cards, letters, emails, chat room posts, etc. I am a firm believer in 'the more the better'. Claudeth and I will pray for your success and reunion.

[luvbugs4ever 0]

It's a real burden, but keep on praying and ask help from God. 5 years being away with each other is too tough, i hope the consul that will interview you will be that too understanding enough and will not doubt the sincerity of your relationship instead will look how hard it was for both of you and your husband to be apart for 5 years because of financial difficulty. It's too expensive to hire a lawyer in case like this, so it might be wiser if your husband will be then present during your interview so he could as well help explain to the consul why it took long time for him to see u again instead of hiring someone who might not really help you. You have all the documents you needed as evidences of your genuine marriage all you just need is to really make the consul understand your situation and approve your case. Pray and pray and pray there is nothing impossible with God thru prayers. I'll pray for you too. God luck and God bless!

[notrepetiteashley 0]

Best of luck to you both. I'll be thinking about you and hoping for your success.

[dodger48 0]

Hello fellow VJers,

As you can see in my signature, we're already half way thru this whole visa process stuff..we all know how nerve-wracking this whole experience is and a million thanks to VJ and all the friendly people in here who supported us during this journey. We still haven't got any word from NVC and the Consulate with regards to interview shedule but i have this very nagging question in my mind and i'm soo afraid this will affect the approval of my visa..Our situation is this ; we've been married for almost 5 yrs now but my husband and I didn't see each other since our wedding. He visited me here in PI twice- his first visit being the proposal,meeting the parents and some members of my family and asking my hand in marriage and the 2nd one was the wedding and honeymoon.. due to financial constraints, he wasnt able to visit me here again since then. .the same reason why he just started the petition last year..I wish he will be here during my interview but I dont think he can afford to do so plus the fact that he just got his current job just May of last year and he cannot take a leave of absence that easy..aside from the basic documents that the consulate requires,we can provide truckloads of documents as proof of our genuine marriage (emails,chat logs,wedding pictures,phonebills,money transfers,cards even letters and cards from his mom to me and vice versa) but the question is--would that be enough? Will my husband's absence and us not seeing each other for years create a doubt about our marriage?..if you are the CO, will you approve our petition?

I need your inputs plsss...

Thanks to everyone and God Bless.

Juvy

P.S. I dont want to elaborate in here how much we love each other..God knows how much and being not together for years is really really hard..we've been through a lot together despite the distance and there were also times that i want to lose whatever hope and faith i have but then what can I do? I LOVE HIM no matter what, I valued our marriage so much and I've waited for years for us to be finally together..I don't want to lose that chance during the consular interview so i need your opinions pls..thanks again.

My wife had a friend who was in similiar situation only it was 3 years since they had seen each other. Her husband claimed financial difficulty. The CO that she got at the Embassy in Manila was very harsh and said that is ridiculous that anyone can buy a ticket on a credit card and come see their wife and pay off the amount slowly. Also if he couldn't afford the few hundred dollars to pay for the processing of her papers then how could he afford to have a wife. He denied their request. Also, someone suggested getting a lawyer, but if can't fly there how can he afford a lawyer. i suggest serious talk with his employer and I'm sure the employer would let him off for 1 week to go to the interview to explain and show legitimate relationship to the CO

[misa 2]

Lady, don't be discouraged by what you've been told in this forum. Not that I have anything against others. Everyone here is trying to help. But I just don't see why you should be so worried. Why, is it the sin of the couple to be separated for so long owing to events that were probably beyond their control? Many couples have been separated for years by war, money troubles and other unfortunate circumstances. And unlike you, these may not have been in touch at all. Don't tell me that's reason to believe their marriage is illegitimate or dubious! If they get reunited or still want to after all that time, doesn't that speak volumes about their feelings for each other?

I'm willing to bet that most of those couples you speak of who were separated by war or finances for many years probably already had a life together in person prior to filing for a visa. She needs a realistic view of what to expect, not "don't worry about it". She has a lot to overcome in this situation and she can expect to be under scrutiny by the CO in Manila.

[TimsDaisy 0]

My wife had a friend who was in similiar situation only it was 3 years since they had seen each other. Her husband claimed financial difficulty. The CO that she got at the Embassy in Manila was very harsh and said that is ridiculous that anyone can buy a ticket on a credit card and come see their wife and pay off the amount slowly. Also if he couldn't afford the few hundred dollars to pay for the processing of her papers then how could he afford to have a wife. He denied their request. Also, someone suggested getting a lawyer, but if can't fly there how can he afford a lawyer. i suggest serious talk with his employer and I'm sure the employer would let him off for 1 week to go to the interview to explain and show legitimate relationship to the CO

Try finding a legal aid service either in the US or in Manila - there are pro-bono providers of legal help out there, just start googling or looking around to find one. Lawyers in the US also have a duty to do some pro bono work at some point in their careers to make sure justice is available to more than just those who can afford it. It's time to get resourceful if you really want to make this work.

[waitandwaitandwai 0]

My wife had a friend who was in similiar situation only it was 3 years since they had seen each other. Her husband claimed financial difficulty. The CO that she got at the Embassy in Manila was very harsh and said that is ridiculous that anyone can buy a ticket on a credit card and come see their wife and pay off the amount slowly. Also if he couldn't afford the few hundred dollars to pay for the processing of her papers then how could he afford to have a wife. He denied their request. Also, someone suggested getting a lawyer, but if can't fly there how can he afford a lawyer. i suggest serious talk with his employer and I'm sure the employer would let him off for 1 week to go to the interview to explain and show legitimate relationship to the CO

Try finding a legal aid service either in the US or in Manila - there are pro-bono providers of legal help out there, just start googling or looking around to find one. Lawyers in the US also have a duty to do some pro bono work at some point in their careers to make sure justice is available to more than just those who can afford it. It's time to get resourceful if you really want to make this work.

youve gotten good sound advice here...take it...no one is trying to discourage you..they are all speaking to the reality of the real world and how it operates... I know God can do all things yes... But many people dont believe in God...so you have a lot to overcome.... I wish you well... Most consuls care nothing about Love...its all business, and evidence to facts.....get your husband there! My attorney gave me hell for not going to the interview because I couldnt afford it....and now WE TOO are under further review!!!!

[JadeVisa 0]

My wife had a friend who was in similiar situation only it was 3 years since they had seen each other. Her husband claimed financial difficulty. The CO that she got at the Embassy in Manila was very harsh and said that is ridiculous that anyone can buy a ticket on a credit card and come see their wife and pay off the amount slowly. Also if he couldn't afford the few hundred dollars to pay for the processing of her papers then how could he afford to have a wife. He denied their request. Also, someone suggested getting a lawyer, but if can't fly there how can he afford a lawyer. i suggest serious talk with his employer and I'm sure the employer would let him off for 1 week to go to the interview to explain and show legitimate relationship to the CO

Try finding a legal aid service either in the US or in Manila - there are pro-bono providers of legal help out there, just start googling or looking around to find one. Lawyers in the US also have a duty to do some pro bono work at some point in their careers to make sure justice is available to more than just those who can afford it. It's time to get resourceful if you really want to make this work.

youve gotten good sound advice here...take it...no one is trying to discourage you..they are all speaking to the reality of the real world and how it operates... I know God can do all things yes... But many people dont believe in God...so you have a lot to overcome.... I wish you well... Most consuls care nothing about Love...its all business, and evidence to facts.....get your husband there! My attorney gave me hell for not going to the interview because I couldnt afford it....and now WE TOO are under further review!!!!

Yes, I think getting a lawyer would be a good idea. Also look around for others who've been in similar situations in these boards and see how they've overcome the problems. And of course, pray if you're the praying kind!

And I didn't say others were discouraging the woman who asked. I made it clear everyone is only trying to help. All that I said was she shouldn't be discouraged by what was said because regardless of the intentions, a person in trouble can be easily discouraged by what she hears or reads if it isn't positive. It wouldn't help to make her more nervous for the interview. Anyway, now she has heard various kinds of advice, she knows better now what to do. GOOD LUCK!