I am really frustrated...Please help!!

[RIMASH 0]

Guys, please read this and help me if you can.

I work as a Marketing manager at a retail company and we had a job opening 5 months ago. At the same time, my Best friend was looking for a job and she was qualified, so I got her that job........................

Now we are colleagues, I never thought I would be crying today because of her, But I AM.

She is totally competing with me, she has become best friends with my boss, and is getting paid 20% more than I am. She is getting an assistant to work for her and also will be managing 2 channels.

When she was not hired, I managed 2 channels and always did a great job...(I know that, as I got an awesome Review from my boss this year)

She has started keeping secrets from me at work and dosent tell me what projects she is working on...I only find out from either my boss or other co-workers.

I am getting suffocated here working with her and I have started disliking her. She has also started behaving artificial with me these days.

She dosent AT ALL seem to be that person that I had known. I CANT WORK WITH HER NOW.

What do you guys advice?

PLEASE HELP.......................

[Fandango 1,440]

I have no clue, but working with friends is always a bad thing.

If she just came on and is making more and all that, I'd leave if I were you. It's a total smack in the face afaic.

And as far as taking on extra load when you were short...remember this...sad but true...good and hard work is rarely rewarded.

[Mags 112]

Yup, business and pleasure do NOT mix. You apparently are a rival now in the store, not a friend, and that's sad. But, it's a fact of life that some people are more fickle than others.

If you can get another job, do it. This one is now only depressing and upsetting you.

[jamrok 0]

Ahhh.....I am so sorry to hear that. It's the typical case of biting the hand that feeds you. Now, here's my view from a corp stand point. Most capable manager/Leader will recognize

special strengths in each employee; the fact that you brought her to this job is a feather in your cap. I understand your feelings but don't let it affect you in a negative way. I speak from experience. Make her an allie, use this opportunity to motivate you and to create value with your organization. Yes...I know it's hard but you can do it. Stop seeing her as a friend for a while and see her as your competition this will allow you to be more objective. Don't dwell on the negative; it will bring you down like a house of cards. Hope you see my point. WOW.....this makes it hard to be kind to people. Keep your chin up.....you will be fine.

[jamrok 0]

Do not leave your job because of this person !!!! Another thing; dont even let this person know that you are ticked off or that you are even aware of her 'snakeish' ways

[Fandango 1,440]

Do not leave your job because of this person !!!! Another thing; dont even let this person know that you are ticked off or that you are even aware of her 'snakeish' ways

Her friend, the new employee, is making 20% more than she is...and th OP's presumably been there a LOT longer and has proven herself.

I don't think the 'let a smile be your umbrella' angle can fix that.

Edited February 27, 2007 by LisaD

[Mags 112]

Now, here's my view from a corp stand point. Most capable manager/Leader will recognize

special strengths in each employee;

Do not leave your job because of this person !!!! Another thing; dont even let this person know that you are ticked off or that you are even aware of her 'snakeish' ways

I can understand the "not letting her know you're annoyed" thing but telling them not to find another, better job? The OP is obviously NOT being recognised for his/her skills otherwise he/she would have been promoted rather than the "friend". Because of this, I'd say they'd be better appreciated in another job...

[mawilson 2,133]

I can understand the "not letting her know you're annoyed" thing but telling them not to find another, better job? The OP is obviously NOT being recognised for his/her skills otherwise he/she would have been promoted rather than the "friend". Because of this, I'd say they'd be better appreciated in another job...

What if the friend is better qualified for the job? Should she have said 'no' to the 20% raise?

[Mags 112]

I can understand the "not letting her know you're annoyed" thing but telling them not to find another, better job? The OP is obviously NOT being recognised for his/her skills otherwise he/she would have been promoted rather than the "friend". Because of this, I'd say they'd be better appreciated in another job...

What if the friend is better qualified for the job? Should she have said 'no' to the 20% raise?

The general idea I garnered from the OP was that the "friend" has come in and kind of taken over, hence the feelings of general dissatisfaction.

The fact that the OP has been shoved aside (regardless over whether or not the friend is better qualified) says to me that everything the OP did previously has been ignored. If he/she feels under-valued (as seems to be the case), go somewhere that you DO feel valued...

[Jenn! 918]

This is like the Brady Bunch episode where Marcia gets Jan a job working with her at the ice cream parlor. When the owner decided he only needed one worker, he picked Jan. Boy was Marcia pissed!

In the end, Marcia decided she'd rather spend time with her dreamy boyfriend though anyway, so it was all good.

Apparently, there's not much to be learnt here from the Brady Bunch.

So......

I would say move on if you can't take it anymore. Unfortunately, it seems that your being there longer and having got her the job is not carrying any weight, so chalk it up to a learning experience....

[Fandango 1,440]

agree with mags (as usual) and jenn too

and I lold @ the brady bunch reference

[tom&tata 2]

I would say move on if you can't take it anymore. Unfortunately, it seems that your being there longer and having got her the job is not carrying any weight, so chalk it up to a learning experience....

I agree with this. Start looking for another job - not just any job if you can bear to stay for a several months. Look for something that will be good for your career too.

Good luck !

[raymaga 25]

Personally, I would probably start looking for another job. We spend way too much time in our lives at our workplaces and with our co-workers, and to be miserable while doing it, just makes for a very long and unhappy day.

I wouldn't quit your current job until you have another job to go to, however.

And, like a previous poster has said.... chalk this up to experience and don't recommend friends for positions within the company you work for.

Good luck finding another position.

[RIMASH 0]

Thanks a lot Guys,

I love my job...but now its way too frustrating.......

I am going to look for another one NOW.... I have learnt my lesson...and will never ever refer any friend for any job again in my life.

I hate to leave this job cus I really like the kind of work I do, but i cant be frustrated anymore.

thanks everyone.....

[JenT 0]

Bigger and better things await... it's tough to be betrayed by a so-called 'friend'. Hang in there.