Think long and hard about everything you do

[Matt_Stevens 5]

I've been here for well over a year now and as many of you know my wife and I had a complicated case and some troubles when she finally arrived here in the USA late last Summer. Let me say something that is important for you couples who have not yet had your interviews...

You can easily get approved if you give the suits what they want. What they want to see is a REAL relationship with real development. Meeting online, followed by one trip to Vietnam and then a proposal is surefire way to get denied. This place is littered with the guts of couples who received the slip of death for this reason. Anh and I met online, we met in Paris, in Germany and then in Saigon. Those meetings pretty much secured her YES at the interview. The interviewer was impressed with this. Many here who get the good slip have met two or three times in person. It is no guarantee, but it helps.

Low income = don't get married. How can you survie if you are not making any money? Wait. Just wait. You will appreciate the time you have to develop the relationship. Save, get a better job, make plans, see each other again (see above).

Saigon women, please, brace yourself for culture shock unlike anything you can imagine if you come to the USA and settle in a place other than Boston, NYC, etc. Any medium sized city or less will be hard to handle for you. Trust me. Life in most places is BORING and completely unlike the excitement of Saigon.

Be patient. Any relationship needs this. Take your time. Don't rush.

Remember that this is for life.

[CK&Tydi 0]

You are right on this............... I really do agree with you........ Life in most areas in United States are sad and boring... not as much fun and crowded like in Saigon. So you guys have to let your gurls know about that before they get disappointed. Most of them thought life in US are much better than in Vietnam. In some parts, they are correct.. Sure the road are bigger, more modern in term of convienent and easy to get too but. Beside that everywhere you go are farther compare to VietNam. Hell yeah, they are far and large.. talking about 50 states that are consider 50 large countries. Anyway.. on other part of the of the paper works, make sure you go back a few times before doing any submitting paper work cuz they are screening it really careful. Since there are a lot of Fake cases out there. Anyway good luck to all the people in here.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I've been here for well over a year now and as many of you know my wife and I had a complicated case and some troubles when she finally arrived here in the USA late last Summer. Let me say something that is important for you couples who have not yet had your interviews...

You can easily get approved if you give the suits what they want. What they want to see is a REAL relationship with real development. Meeting online, followed by one trip to Vietnam and then a proposal is surefire way to get denied. This place is littered with the guts of couples who received the slip of death for this reason. Anh and I met online, we met in Paris, in Germany and then in Saigon. Those meetings pretty much secured her YES at the interview. The interviewer was impressed with this. Many here who get the good slip have met two or three times in person. It is no guarantee, but it helps.

Why would you say this? What does the embassy's website say? Do you know of couples that have had this happened and did the CO say he was denying them the Visa because of lack of multiple visits???

As far a meeting each other in person - all that is currently required is that the two of you have met in person within the last 2 years. I'm troubled with your statement because you state so with certainty.

I would hope that the CO looks at each case individually - there is no silver bullet to get the CO's approval beyond following the requirements and demonstrating an ongoing relationship. Please be careful with your advice here.

Edited February 9, 2007 by Steven_and_Jinky

[GREEN/TRAN 0]

I've been here for well over a year now and as many of you know my wife and I had a complicated case and some troubles when she finally arrived here in the USA late last Summer. Let me say something that is important for you couples who have not yet had your interviews...

You can easily get approved if you give the suits what they want. What they want to see is a REAL relationship with real development. Meeting online, followed by one trip to Vietnam and then a proposal is surefire way to get denied. This place is littered with the guts of couples who received the slip of death for this reason. Anh and I met online, we met in Paris, in Germany and then in Saigon. Those meetings pretty much secured her YES at the interview. The interviewer was impressed with this. Many here who get the good slip have met two or three times in person. It is no guarantee, but it helps.

Why would you say this? What does the embassy's website say? Do you know of couples that have had this happened and did the CO say he was denying them the Visa because of lack of multiple visits???

As far a meeting each other in person - all that is currently required is that the two of you have met in person within the last 2 years. I'm troubled with your statement because you state so with certainty.

I would hope that the CO looks at each case individually - there is no silver bullet to get the CO's approval beyond following the requirements and demonstrating an ongoing relationship. Please be careful with your advice here.

my lawyer said that i only going to vietnam was a problem with my oneof them anyway but i agree it does only say met in past 2 years .surley they know not all of us are rich or live with our parents or work in vietnam some of us have one week vacation and im sure alot viet girls cant afford to go to paris you just got lucky matt dont rub it in

[ding 1]

You make me think too mut!

I'm going to risk losing my job and go a second time. It'll put me in debt too, but my soulmate is worth it. It will show a sustained relationship but how can a CO quantify the quality of love when all the sages through time are just as stumped as the rest of us. I guess nobody said it was 100% accurate and fair, huh?

I love Lek with all my heart, and she loves me, but all the phone cards in the world can't prove that deep feeling.

[David-Hien 11]

It's surely it's the expensive love, long the distance makes it expensive already.

I was attached to my job and cannot look for a better job due to this visa process, it took me nearly 1 year and I don't know the result yet. Besides, there are so many other problems with the current Vietnam society, government and family for the life around.

That's love. We are spending for our love in time and money.

Hien

[Tony_H 0]

I can't confirm or deny what Matt said, however, if you read my interview report carefully, you would see that I prepared the evidence stack very carefully with just about everything I could think of, to the Nth degree of completeness; but only very little was looked at. ( http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=51362 )

However, what were looked at very carefully: pictures of my 3 trips, my engagement party pictures, and a stack of my background pictures. When I submitted my I-129F, I did say that I will return to visit her at least 1 more time and then once more for my engagement party. That was exactly what I did.

So it appeared that they put quite a bit of weight on the fact that I met her multiple times in my case. Right or wrong, your call?

Like Chuck said earlier, it's really not one thing but the totality of the entire relationship. I also believe that each interviewer has his/her own bias at picking on certain things that he/she thinks that can prove it is to be a genuine relationship.

It's not a science but quite a bit of an art... Looking at it from their viewpoint. How can I detect that it is a fraud or what can't be fake?

I hope this helps somehow.

[Matt_Stevens 5]

I cannot say more than I said. I have been here a while. I have seen a lot of what takes place and it is very clear from obersavation, from what the Co stated and from conversations with other couples that meeting multiple times is a huge boost in your favor. Meeting only once is a big negative.

There is a lot of wishful thinking thattakes place here, all because of love. Wel, love os grand, but it doesn't lend itself to reality at times. We all are facing the toughest of all hurdles in getting approval for our partner to be allowed into the USA. It's just the way it is, people and I oly want to point that out.

See each other more than once and me absolutely insanely ####### about your evidence packet!

One more thing, the CO's like to see the beneficiery has been outside of Vietnam. So try and arrange a trip somewhere, be it Thailand or whatever.

[GREEN/TRAN 0]

I cannot say more than I said. I have been here a while. I have seen a lot of what takes place and it is very clear from obersavation, from what the Co stated and from conversations with other couples that meeting multiple times is a huge boost in your favor. Meeting only once is a big negative.

There is a lot of wishful thinking thattakes place here, all because of love. Wel, love os grand, but it doesn't lend itself to reality at times. We all are facing the toughest of all hurdles in getting approval for our partner to be allowed into the USA. It's just the way it is, people and I oly want to point that out.

See each other more than once and me absolutely insanely ####### about your evidence packet!

One more thing, the CO's like to see the beneficiery has been outside of Vietnam. So try and arrange a trip somewhere, be it Thailand or whatever.

im just think long distance love isnt just for the wealthy or people who have flexable jobs.some people neeed to keep employment and dont share a house.if the requirments are to only have met one time in the past 2 years then that shouldnt be a issue.if they are sceptic about peoples relationships they should require people to take a ceritfied polygraph and then they can detect deception and then neither party has to wonder when there fiancee comes over

[Matt_Stevens 5]

Of course it shouldn't be an issue, but it is!!! This is what I am tryiong to tell all of you who are in US/Vietnam relationships. We are all held to a different standard. It's fact. Denying it will only lead to a great deal of pain.

Anh and I are not rich. My relationship with her has actually wiped me out financially. I have nothing now. My bank accounts are empty and I am in debt. Financially speaking I should never have met this girl. But you do what you do when you love someone.

[tom&tata 2]

I've been here for well over a year now and as many of you know my wife and I had a complicated case and some troubles when she finally arrived here in the USA late last Summer. Let me say something that is important for you couples who have not yet had your interviews...

You can easily get approved if you give the suits what they want. What they want to see is a REAL relationship with real development. Meeting online, followed by one trip to Vietnam and then a proposal is surefire way to get denied. This place is littered with the guts of couples who received the slip of death for this reason. Anh and I met online, we met in Paris, in Germany and then in Saigon. Those meetings pretty much secured her YES at the interview. The interviewer was impressed with this. Many here who get the good slip have met two or three times in person. It is no guarantee, but it helps.

Why would you say this? What does the embassy's website say? Do you know of couples that have had this happened and did the CO say he was denying them the Visa because of lack of multiple visits???

As far a meeting each other in person - all that is currently required is that the two of you have met in person within the last 2 years. I'm troubled with your statement because you state so with certainty.

I would hope that the CO looks at each case individually - there is no silver bullet to get the CO's approval beyond following the requirements and demonstrating an ongoing relationship. Please be careful with your advice here.

I am sure CO looks at each case individually - but they also put into account the country they are dealing with. Just treat the post from Matt Stevens as something to think/consider. That's what would I do if I were in Vietnam/uS relationship.

[Icarus 0]

<--- is speechless...truly, truly speechless.

Matt, looking at those on AR, do you believe what you say is really the case for why me, Menyoo, or Wait4ever have been placed on AR and haven't received our visas yet?? Because we didn't venture to Thailand, or Paris?!?!? Do you think you are really in a position to speak to the intracacies of this process when those of us who've been here long enough KNOW you squeaked by and got extremely lucky they accepted your financial information. This is exactly why they use the poverty guidelines in the process in discerning who may become a public charge and why if you are below the minimum (which I believe you were), you need a co-sponsor. We are all happy that your woman is here with you and that you are doing well, BUT also don't forget we've all read your stories on how rocky your relationship was when she arrived and how you were thisclose to dissolving your union.

Please Matt, for the sake of others going through this process, limit your advice to those things you DO know about. I've met several people on VJ over the last 2 years, and no story is the same. How can you say it is better to meet several times, or to meet in another country and say as gospel that they have a better chance of bringing home a pink slip and visa? MANY MANY MAAAANY people on VJ received the visa after developing a relationship online and then meeting once. If a relationship is valid, regardless of how/where they've met, and their paperwork is order, eventually a visa will come. All you are doing is making people like Green/Tran, Ding, David/Hein stress out more by making them second-guess their evidences and timelines.

I've been on AR now for almost 6 months, and while I'm not exactly sure what the trigger was, I CAN tell you it wasn't lack of time spent with my fiancee or the stack of evidences provided, but more likely background checks.

Here's a couple fun stats to keep in mind: The US embassy in HCMC is the 4th largest visa unit in the world, and the 1st largest for Fiance visas.

For those of you offput by Matts comments, really try to not let others tell you what works and doesn't work when going through this process. Remember, all our relationships are unique and to gather evidences to make a compelling argument for your love.

[Lurker 0]

I can tell you that I could have done without reading these forums, but then again, I couldn't have. These forums are a double-edge sword when it comes to getting information. Some information is purely good, other information is just so damn wrong it is a crime. These forums have confirmed several times throughout my process that I have been doing the right thing, but they have also confirmed that what I was doing was wrong. I cannot tell you how many times I have just exploded and freaked out just because I read something on these forums that have indicated what I was doing has been wrong all along. Not everything on these forums is correct. There is good advice here, but you must have the capacity to understand and wade through the bull along the way. Not everything written down is true. This was the belief in the 1800s in newspapers, but this is not the case now. The only way to come close to what can be factual is testing and measuring what you know (common sense), to what others know as a whole, not just what one or two individuals say. Isn't this how cults start by believing in what one or two people say?

To sum this up in a sentence:

Non-Critical thinking skills need not apply.

[Matt_Stevens 5]

It amazes me that people can get angry over a post. I mean, I am seeing real hostility here, much of it from people in review (despite the fact that I am in no way responsible for that) and despite the fact that I never said you have to go to Paris and Germany to be accepted or any other such nonsense. I simply pointed out things that greatly help a case move forward to being approved. I pointed out stuff that the CO who interviewed my wife mentioned. I pointed out OBVIOUS stuff that has continued to be overlooked by many many hopefuls here.

People can deny all they want, put there heads in the sand, throw tantrums at their fellow members whatever. If this forum is only good for certain types of views, then I think I will not waste my time here anymore.

[Lurker 0]

It amazes me that people can get angry over a post. I mean, I am seeing real hostility here, much of it from people in review (despite the fact that I am in no way responsible for that) and despite the fact that I never said you have to go to Paris and Germany to be accepted or any other such nonsense. I simply pointed out things that greatly help a case move forward to being approved. I pointed out stuff that the CO who interviewed my wife mentioned. I pointed out OBVIOUS stuff that has continued to be overlooked by many many hopefuls here.

People can deny all they want, put there heads in the sand, throw tantrums at their fellow members whatever. If this forum is only good for certain types of views, then I think I will not waste my time here anymore.

I am sorry if I came across harsh Matt_Stevens. I didn't mean to come across like that.