My first discrimination encounter....

[sowens 0]

Wong,

I am sorry that you were exposed to someone of such ignorance and cruelty. I have to agree with some of the other posters, in your hubbys defense. He did have a tattoo needle at his neck. However, I see where your coming from in wanting him to defend you. As others have said, talk to him about this and let him know how you feel. Its not always easy to adapt to a new life, but talking alot helps.

As a suggestion, unless it's totally necessary, I recommend that you do not argue with his friends. Take up your grievances with your husband (simply have a calm conversation and express what you feel) and allow him to resolve them for you.

JMO, but I wouldnt tell anyone not to stand up for themselves, no matter the situation. Some people thrive on bullying others as long as they know that they can get away with it. If you back down once it makes it harder to stand up for yourself in the future. I really dont think its her hubbys place to deal with her grievances, but to help her deal with them.

[MPGGPM 0]

Last night hubby and I went to one of his friend's(who's a tattoo artist) house so that hubby can get the tattoo on his neck done.

We were first having a good time...you know, watching the football game, and having casual conversations...

and I don't even know when did it all started, when hubby's friend started talking sh!t about my home country right in front of my face when he's working on the tattoo on hubby's neck...saying that I came from a poor and communist country(China), Communisim is really bad, that's why US went to war with Vietnam...that nothing he owns is made in China because before he buys something, he always makes sure that it's not made in China..saying that nobody should buy anything from CHina because they use child labor and they should not feed the communist country. I talked back, and he got more pissed and said that maybe the US should start dropping bombs on other countries like they used to...hubby finally told him that's enough and he finally shut his God Dam mouth

I was completely insulted...devastated...I couldn't even talk back anymore because I already started tearing up...

After we left his house I asked hubby why didn't he stuck up for me and told him to fxcking stop, hubby said that he got pissed when I talked back and he poked the tattoo needle even harder on his neck...He told him that's enough and that's all he could do...

Guys I'm sorry but I'm still really upset over this. Makes me want to leave here and never come back...

Hubby told me not to let that bother me, but...I dunno how am I supposed to deal with this

Well, all I can say is, were it me, and I were in another country (perhaps Turkey for example, where my wife is from) , and while there some of her friends started to insult the USA..........I don't see how that would bother me so much (Heck, Americans get insulted practically every day in this world.....around the globe....it's almost a hobby for foriegn countries to dislike and criticize us )

But, I feel very proud of where I am from, and feel I could defend this country very well in an argument. Sure, we have our flaws, but so do other countries.

I hate to say it, but it seems to me that you might have an inferiority complex when it comes to your country. Otherwise, why not defend China and bring up the good aspects of your country. It's not like China doesn't have a lot to be proud of. Starting with their food

But, I mean, why didn't you debate the good aspects of your country (or former one)with that jerk? Like how China is becoming an increasingly strong financial and trade power around the globe? They have a rich history, and are a highly disciplined people. Maybe that guy was saying what he said with a little hidden jealousy?

In either case, you shouldn't have taken it so personally. How much does that dummy really know about China anyhow? Or most people for that matter...if they have never been there?

I will say though...after all this.....that I do agree and that your husband should have spoken up. I personally........besides the fact that I love Turkey and it's culture.......wouldn't have let some guy, friend or not , insult my wife and her country while I was there standing next to her and hearing it all. I know my wife , like you, would have been offended......which would have bothered me to see her get hurt.......and I would have spoken up.

[wong_watkins 1]

Last night hubby and I went to one of his friend's(who's a tattoo artist) house so that hubby can get the tattoo on his neck done.

We were first having a good time...you know, watching the football game, and having casual conversations...

and I don't even know when did it all started, when hubby's friend started talking sh!t about my home country right in front of my face when he's working on the tattoo on hubby's neck...saying that I came from a poor and communist country(China), Communisim is really bad, that's why US went to war with Vietnam...that nothing he owns is made in China because before he buys something, he always makes sure that it's not made in China..saying that nobody should buy anything from CHina because they use child labor and they should not feed the communist country. I talked back, and he got more pissed and said that maybe the US should start dropping bombs on other countries like they used to...hubby finally told him that's enough and he finally shut his God Dam mouth

I was completely insulted...devastated...I couldn't even talk back anymore because I already started tearing up...

After we left his house I asked hubby why didn't he stuck up for me and told him to fxcking stop, hubby said that he got pissed when I talked back and he poked the tattoo needle even harder on his neck...He told him that's enough and that's all he could do...

Guys I'm sorry but I'm still really upset over this. Makes me want to leave here and never come back...

Hubby told me not to let that bother me, but...I dunno how am I supposed to deal with this

Well, all I can say is, were it me, and I were in another country (perhaps Turkey for example, where my wife is from) , and while there some of her friends started to insult the USA..........I don't see how that would bother me so much (Heck, Americans get insulted practically every day in this world.....around the globe....it's almost a hobby for foriegn countries to dislike and criticize us )

But, I feel very proud of where I am from, and feel I could defend this country very well in an argument. Sure, we have our flaws, but so do other countries.

I hate to say it, but it seems to me that you might have an inferiority complex when it comes to your country. Otherwise, why not defend China and bring up the good aspects of your country. It's not like China doesn't have a lot to be proud of. Starting with their food

But, I mean, why didn't you debate the good aspects of your country (or former one)with that jerk? Like how China is becoming an increasingly strong financial and trade power around the globe? They have a rich history, and are a highly disciplined people. Maybe that guy was saying what he said with a little hidden jealousy?

In either case, you shouldn't have taken it so personally. How much does that dummy really know about China anyhow? Or most people for that matter...if they have never been there?

I will say though...after all this.....that I do agree and that your husband should have spoken up. I personally........besides the fact that I love Turkey and it's culture.......wouldn't have let some guy, friend or not , insult my wife and her country while I was there standing next to her and hearing it all. I know my wife , like you, would have been offended......which would have bothered me to see her get hurt.......and I would have spoken up.

He acted like he already knew it all, so it wouldn't have mattered whether I said something good about my country or not. He's one of those idiots that don't know what they're talking about, but totally believe in what they say anyway.

I do not have an inferiority complex when it comes to my country. I love my country so much and I'm so proud of it that when somebody says something like that, it hurts me very much.

Just like you say, if your wife was in a situation like that you know she would have got offended and you would have spoken up for her, how come you still told me not to take it so personally? I thought there was just a little bit of contradiction....

[wong_watkins 1]

I am not the OP

I just like your username.... LOL! My bad!!!

I hate to break it to you but there are actually ignorant people in every country

Wong Watkins

Most Americans are good people. It's unfortunate that in your infancy of American life that you had to run across a jerk. Most people with strong opinions are pig headed. So even if you argued logical and valid points, it wouldn't have mattered. People are going to believe whatever they want. Yes, his friend was wrong and disrespectful. You can't blame your husband. He was probably just as shocked as you were by that man's statements and was probably expecting him to say what he thought and moved on with the conversation, which is probably why he waiting to interject.

As a suggestion, unless it's totally necessary, I recommend that you do not argue with his friends. Take up your grievances with your husband (simply have a calm conversation and express what you feel) and allow him to resolve them for you. Believe me, your husband cares about what you feel and think. He wants you to be happy and comfortable in every situation.

I'm really sorry that you had to go through that. Please try not to be hard on him.

Sheriff Uling

p.s. - These are just my opinions...

Does it mean that you don't like my username? LOL..

You know, I did feel a little stupid when I talked back....I was getting pissed and he probably thought he was winning.

[s2convt 0]

Welcome to the biggest melting pot in the world. You will not only encounter all different types of ethnic groups during your life but you will also hear and see how horrible people can treat each other.

We haven't come that far since the days of Martin Luther King, but we are far from what once was. I promise you that this won't be your last experience dealing with such events. Don't let it get you down, enjoy the country where freedom of speech still exists.

[rebeccajo 14]

....... Well, all I can say is, were it me, and I were in another country (perhaps Turkey for example, where my wife is from) , and while there some of her friends started to insult the USA..........I don't see how that would bother me so much (Heck, Americans get insulted practically every day in this world.....around the globe.... In either case, you shouldn't have taken it so personally. How much does that dummy really know about China anyhow? Or most people for that matter...if they have never been there? ........

Interesting point.

When I was in the UK, I got to hear - more than once - what the person I was speaking with thought of the US. And it usually wasn't pretty!

It was kind of hard to take, but I didn't take it personally. In other words it didn't ruin my day.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Last night hubby and I went to one of his friend's(who's a tattoo artist) house so that hubby can get the tattoo on his neck done.

We were first having a good time...you know, watching the football game, and having casual conversations...

and I don't even know when did it all started, when hubby's friend started talking sh!t about my home country right in front of my face when he's working on the tattoo on hubby's neck...saying that I came from a poor and communist country(China), Communisim is really bad, that's why US went to war with Vietnam...that nothing he owns is made in China because before he buys something, he always makes sure that it's not made in China..saying that nobody should buy anything from CHina because they use child labor and they should not feed the communist country. I talked back, and he got more pissed and said that maybe the US should start dropping bombs on other countries like they used to...hubby finally told him that's enough and he finally shut his God Dam mouth

I was completely insulted...devastated...I couldn't even talk back anymore because I already started tearing up...

After we left his house I asked hubby why didn't he stuck up for me and told him to fxcking stop, hubby said that he got pissed when I talked back and he poked the tattoo needle even harder on his neck...He told him that's enough and that's all he could do...

Guys I'm sorry but I'm still really upset over this. Makes me want to leave here and never come back...

Hubby told me not to let that bother me, but...I dunno how am I supposed to deal with this

You were not discriminated against.

[MPGGPM 0]

Just like you say, if your wife was in a situation like that you know she would have got offended and you would have spoken up for her, how come you still told me not to take it so personally? I thought there was just a little bit of contradiction....

And I would have told my wife the same thing I told you. (Not that she'd probably listen....but's that's besides the point

A situation like the one you describe, to me, is nothing to get so upset about....especially if deep inside, you knew he was wrong. So, why worry about it? Unless you felt there was some truth in what he said, just ignore him like the dummy he seems he was..........or if it bothered you so much, speak up then and defend your country.

[Chris-n-Veronica 0]

Last night hubby and I went to one of his friend's(who's a tattoo artist) house so that hubby can get the tattoo on his neck done.

We were first having a good time...you know, watching the football game, and having casual conversations...

and I don't even know when did it all started, when hubby's friend started talking sh!t about my home country right in front of my face when he's working on the tattoo on hubby's neck...saying that I came from a poor and communist country(China), Communisim is really bad, that's why US went to war with Vietnam...that nothing he owns is made in China because before he buys something, he always makes sure that it's not made in China..saying that nobody should buy anything from CHina because they use child labor and they should not feed the communist country. I talked back, and he got more pissed and said that maybe the US should start dropping bombs on other countries like they used to...hubby finally told him that's enough and he finally shut his God Dam mouth

I was completely insulted...devastated...I couldn't even talk back anymore because I already started tearing up...

After we left his house I asked hubby why didn't he stuck up for me and told him to fxcking stop, hubby said that he got pissed when I talked back and he poked the tattoo needle even harder on his neck...He told him that's enough and that's all he could do...

Guys I'm sorry but I'm still really upset over this. Makes me want to leave here and never come back...

Hubby told me not to let that bother me, but...I dunno how am I supposed to deal with this

5 things..

1. Refuse to go there again, because it's a hostile place for you..

2. Don't let him win by packing your bags

3. Check your Husbands Balls.. make sure he has some.

4. Wonder why your hubby hangs with people like this

5. Wonder why the tatoo was more important then your feelings were

This ####### would've lastest 2 sec's with me... and it would've been the last time this jerk would've had the chance to do this to Veronica.. PERIOD!

Now on a better note... talk to your hubby explain to him how this hurt you and how it was showing disrespect...to you as his wife.. maybe he just didn't see it the way you did...and probably 99% of the population..of the United States..

[Traviesa 0]

Just to speak a little bit for the hubby, because I could actually imagine how Javier would react to something like this... I think your husband's reaction was appropriate, given the situation. When someone's got a needle to your neck and you're halfway through a tattoo is not the time to start an argument, and a POINTLESS argument at that. Hubby was wise enough to know that nothing he could have said would have made any difference to his "friend" or to how it made you feel. His tendency to brush it off as "no big deal" is probably his misguided attempt at helping you to get over it...like maybe if I say it's not a big deal, she'll believe me, and stop being so upset by it. He probably hates to see you upset and is trying to move past it as quickly as possible. It's not to say that he doesn't care-quite the opposite, but we all know that men often times have ways of showing that which make no sense.

[Mags 112]

Just to speak a little bit for the hubby, because I could actually imagine how Javier would react to something like this... I think your husband's reaction was appropriate, given the situation. When someone's got a needle to your neck and you're halfway through a tattoo is not the time to start an argument, and a POINTLESS argument at that. Hubby was wise enough to know that nothing he could have said would have made any difference to his "friend" or to how it made you feel. His tendency to brush it off as "no big deal" is probably his misguided attempt at helping you to get over it...like maybe if I say it's not a big deal, she'll believe me, and stop being so upset by it. He probably hates to see you upset and is trying to move past it as quickly as possible. It's not to say that he doesn't care-quite the opposite, but we all know that men often times have ways of showing that which make no sense.

*nods* Yup, I agree completely. This fella sounds like he was deliberately goading you into a confrontation. It's just best to ignore people like this. Don't come down to their level and start arguing back.

[wong_watkins 1]

Thank you for your kind advice..(I mean, just the kind ones)

I'm not upset about it anymore...Still I would not let anybody talk to me like that again, ever...Next time if he ever happens to come to my store I will make him leave, and I will never want to see him again.

Hubby's a tough guy, but I understand that he really did have a needle on his neck...he couldn't really say anything..who know what that idiot would do..

Hubby was actually talking about another way better tattoo artist in town last night. He was telling me how his A$$hole friend's work sucks comparing to the other better tattoo artist. He was really trying to make me feel better~~

Edited January 23, 2007 by wong_watkins

[Chris-n-Veronica 0]

Thank you for your kind advice..(I mean, just the kind ones)

I'm not upset about it anymore...Still I would not let anybody talk to me like that again, ever...Next time if he ever happens to come to my store I will make him leave, and I will never want to see him again.

Hubby's a tough guy, but I understand that he really did have a needle on his neck...he couldn't really say anything..who know what that idiot would do..

Hubby was actually talking about another way better tattoo artist in town last night. He was telling me how his A$$hole friend's work sucks comparing to the other better tattoo artist. He was really trying to make me feel better~~

Well it does sound like your hubby is trying to keep piece..by going to a different tatto artist.. That is good..!!

I'll tell ya... the min. that Monkey started sticking that needle deeper then it needs to go...I'd say...stop.. I need a pee break.. I'd get up..and beat the ######-Ola outta him.. and give him a tatto that said..A$$Hole hahahhahaha Well I hope I made you laugh alittle.. Sounds like your hubby is doing right now....

[wong_watkins 1]

Thank you for your kind advice..(I mean, just the kind ones)

I'm not upset about it anymore...Still I would not let anybody talk to me like that again, ever...Next time if he ever happens to come to my store I will make him leave, and I will never want to see him again.

Hubby's a tough guy, but I understand that he really did have a needle on his neck...he couldn't really say anything..who know what that idiot would do..

Hubby was actually talking about another way better tattoo artist in town last night. He was telling me how his A$$hole friend's work sucks comparing to the other better tattoo artist. He was really trying to make me feel better~~

Well it does sound like your hubby is trying to keep piece..by going to a different tatto artist.. That is good..!!

I'll tell ya... the min. that Monkey started sticking that needle deeper then it needs to go...I'd say...stop.. I need a pee break.. I'd get up..and beat the ######-Ola outta him.. and give him a tatto that said..A$$Hole hahahhahaha Well I hope I made you laugh alittle.. Sounds like your hubby is doing right now....

Haha...thank you...it really did make me laugh

[Fandango 1,440]

I don't think it was discrimination.