meeting requirement

[hotairguy 0]

*rubs very tired and very sore head* ok....so now what i am reading is that a tourist visa from mexico can't be gotten? or is just virtually impossible to get LOL. yes...basically almost looking for a boyfriend visa LOL. trying to find a way for us to be together, as for multiple reasons, I cannot go THERE at this time. (please anyone late to this conversation don't pick at me not going there- can't take anymore today, suffice it to say that it is not an option and leave it at that) he had a tourist visa, but it expired. so he needs a new one. is this too hard to get, even if he can proove all kinds of ties of work and school and bank accounts and such there? or are you all telling me that it sucks to be us, give up being with each other? *is soooooooooo confused at this point and needing help to understand wth we are supposed to do now*

You will need to grow some thicker skin if you expect to navigate this process successfully and stay sane. If you get upset now just reading a few posts here at visajourney, you will blow your top when dealing with the USCIS and the embassy. If you use the same attitude, you will get no where fast. Good Luck.

Marilyn and Peter.

[rebeccajo 14]

You will need to grow some thicker skin if you expect to navigate this process successfully and stay sane. If you get upset now just reading a few posts here at visajourney, you will blow your top when dealing with the USCIS and the embassy. If you use the same attitude, you will get no where fast. Good Luck.

Marilyn and Peter.

Give the girl a break. She just started researching today. Don't you remember feeling like your head was going to explode whenever you started investigating this stuff?

[hotairguy 0]

You will need to grow some thicker skin if you expect to navigate this process successfully and stay sane. If you get upset now just reading a few posts here at visajourney, you will blow your top when dealing with the USCIS and the embassy. If you use the same attitude, you will get no where fast. Good Luck.

Marilyn and Peter.

Give the girl a break. She just started researching today. Don't you remember feeling like your head was going to explode whenever you started investigating this stuff?

I remember it very clearly and my comment still stands. Sugar coat all you want in your posts but I am just offering my opinion. If she gets worked up from a few comments from people here, her head will really "explode" later.

Marilyn and Peter.

[Phedre LeCroix 0]

You will need to grow some thicker skin if you expect to navigate this process successfully and stay sane. If you get upset now just reading a few posts here at visajourney, you will blow your top when dealing with the USCIS and the embassy. If you use the same attitude, you will get no where fast. Good Luck.

Marilyn and Peter.

Give the girl a break. She just started researching today. Don't you remember feeling like your head was going to explode whenever you started investigating this stuff?

I remember it very clearly and my comment still stands. Sugar coat all you want in your posts but I am just offering my opinion. If she gets worked up from a few comments from people here, her head will really "explode" later.

Marilyn and Peter.

Thank you rebbecajo, for your support, and all those with positive comments! it helps a lot.

hotairguy- I am very familiar with having to deal with government officals and ridiculous, inane, and downright stupid things written by congress with my job. OSHA can give INS a run for their money with confusing information. I also know how to conduct myself professionally when dealing with them, and I am not worried about "exploding" with them.

what I was not prepared for, and perhaps was my mistake, was expecting the same kind of treatment from a website that was advertised to be "support and help". Some people have been quite helpful, and I appreciate it greatly, I really really do. I don't know if in terms of others, if it is felt that this is some sort of "toughing up" camp, or that since the government will pry into my personal life and berate me, that it is ok for them to? Is there something I am missing here? I don't mean this to sound offensive, or facetious, I truly don't- but I also don't understand. I had a question and posted it, perhaps didin't word it properly or something, though some seemed to understand what I was asking- is this the normal thing? to comment endlessly off topic, and in such a personal and negative way? Or was my question just somehow so offensive as to elicit this kind of response? Is there a rulebook somewhere that tells new members what they can and cannot ask or post? Or if I don't understand seemly contradictory things, a place to go to find out the answer rather than post that I am confused? I don't ask this to be rude, at this point I am just really confused, and to be honest saddened, that this site, that is advertised as "the place to go" is seeming to me to be a look but don't speak place for new members.

[rebeccajo 14]

..... Is there a rulebook somewhere that tells new members what they can and cannot ask or post? Or if I don't understand seemly contradictory things, a place to go to find out the answer rather than post that I am confused? I don't ask this to be rude, at this point I am just really confused.......

Yes and No.

There's the Guides and FAQ's tabs above. Everybody should begin by reading those.

Reading those will cause you to have questions. You can then use the Links, not the least of which is www.uscis.gov.

Read the pinned threads at the top of the Forums.

Phedre, this is a BIG message board. LOTS of activity. Nearly 30000 members. There are loads of personalities. And there are also loads of people who sign up as members, want a snap answer, breeze in, expect an immediate sound-bite answer without any research, and then ####### off. It's clear to me that is not the case with you, but we have enough of that kind of activity around here that many board members have a low tolerance for it.

Take into account what I said above about there being many personalities on board, plus the other advice given you about people having mood swings because of the stress of this process, and .....well there ya go.

Hotairguy isn't totally wrong. This is a hard process because it IS so personal. You WILL need to get a tough skin. And you WILL need to be realistic that the government IS going to invade your personal life, that they do it in the name of national security, and you will learn they don't give one damn if you like it or not.

As a woman I have likened the process to childbirth. Any woman who has given birth will tell you that by the time you have exposed your bottom to half the hospital during labor pains, you don't give a damn about modesty any longer. You just want the baby to be born.

Same sort of thing here.

Welcome to VJ. It's a good place. Learn, learn, learn and accept. You'll feel better.

Edited January 7, 2007 by rebeccajo

[SoL. 0]

..... Is there a rulebook somewhere that tells new members what they can and cannot ask or post? Or if I don't understand seemly contradictory things, a place to go to find out the answer rather than post that I am confused? I don't ask this to be rude, at this point I am just really confused.......

Yes and No.

There's the Guides and FAQ's tabs above. Everybody should begin by reading those.

Reading those will cause you to have questions. You can then use the Links, not the least of which is www.uscis.gov.

Read the pinned threads at the top of the Forums.

Phedre, this is a BIG message board. LOTS of activity. Nearly 30000 members. There are loads of personalities. And there are also loads of people who sign up as members, want a snap answer, breeze in, expect an immediate sound-bite answer without any research, and then ####### off. It's clear to me that is not the case with you, but we have enough of that kind of activity around here that many board members have a low tolerance for it.

Take into account what I said above about there being many personalities on board, plus the other advice given you about people having mood swings because of the stress of this process, and .....well there ya go.

Hotairguy isn't totally wrong. This is a hard process because it IS so personal. You WILL need to get a tough skin. And you WILL need to be realistic that the government IS going to invade your personal life, that they do it in the name of national security, and you will learn they don't give one damn if you like it or not.

As a woman I have likened the process to childbirth. Any woman who has given birth will tell you that by the time you have exposed your bottom to half the hospital during labor pains, you don't give a damn about modesty any longer. You just want the baby to be born.

Same sort of thing here.

Welcome to VJ. It's a good place. Learn, learn, learn and accept. You'll feel better.

I aggree with Rebecca.

Edited January 7, 2007 by Sol-de-Verano

[featherB 1]

..... Is there a rulebook somewhere that tells new members what they can and cannot ask or post? Or if I don't understand seemly contradictory things, a place to go to find out the answer rather than post that I am confused? I don't ask this to be rude, at this point I am just really confused.......

Yes and No.

..........

Welcome to VJ. It's a good place. Learn, learn, learn and accept. You'll feel better.

I aggree with Rebecca.

So do I! Another thing (sort of connected to the 'thicker skin' comment) is... try not to take things personally and assume people are getting at you. True, you might come across the very occasional person who'll have nothing constructive to add at all, but often what you think are unnecessarily personal/intrusive questions could equally be someone trying to get the details that are necessary to offer you the best advice. A while back someone came on here asking about getting her case expedited for 'personal reasons', but when people asked her to elaborate (and went so far as to point out that trying to rush the process would be a bad idea in her case), got very wound up and told everyone to mind their own business - obviously nobody could give her any useful advice without more details, and those that were offering constructive advice based on personal knowledge were told to shut up! Not saying that's what you're doing, at all, but just giving an example of why what seems like 'nosiness' might not be intended as anything of the sort... people who are asking questions about your health and whether there is any way at all you could possibly travel to Mexico are not saying this to cause offence - just trying to stress that you are (apparently, I know nothing about these waivers, only that they're very rarely granted) very unlikely to get a waiver on the meeting in person requirement on those grounds. If you know there's absolutely no way you can travel, then I'm sure their comments seem very annoying and unhelpful - but I very much doubt they're intended as such!

Anyway, sorry for rambling... what I meant to say was: welcome to VJ! I hope you can find some way round these problems and make this work for you both.

[RosaMystica7 0]

I know the nosiness here has pissed me off, but saved me twice. There were two times that I was going to send out the petition - January and around August - that if I had sent it out we would've been screwed, there's no way he would've gotten the visa. It would've been a waste of our time and money, and even if he did get the visa I was in no shape to support him. I got really angry when people asked me if I had a job, and my income, and "how the heck do you think you're gonna support two people in an apartment with THAT salary?" Yes I was livid. But once I stopped being so angry I thought about it... and as badly worded as the advice was, it was true.

So people here generally mean well, it's just sometimes they word their advice all wrong. As much as we need to grow thicker skin, people also need to be more careful with how they say things. Yes this is the internet, but we're talking about sensitive issues to real people who have feelings. A little politeness could go a long way. And that's not aimed at anyone in specific. Just a general comment.

[rebeccajo 14]

Oh - yay to common courtesy and manners!!!

Sorely lacking around here these days, methinks.

[jsnearline 2]

Ok, getting back to trying to offer the OP some contstructive advice... Can anyone either verify or shoot some holes in my assertion posted previously that it is easier for someone who previously had a tourist visa to get a new than for someone who never had one before? It seems to me that if the guy the OP wants to meet was able to show enough intent to return home that he got a tourist visa previously, then he has a good chance of being able to get a new tourist visa.

Edited January 7, 2007 by jsnearline

[RosaMystica7 0]

Well, I think she said that he previously had a tourist visa BUT he didn't use it. If I read that right, I don't think that'd either help or hurt his chances of getting a tourist visa again. Though I'm hoping that, since he got it once, he'll be able to do whatever he did last time to get it again.

I think that's a question more suited for the regional forum, so she can talk with others who have dealt with getting tourist visas from Mexico before.

[Captain Ewok 1,930]

Everyone... it was uncalled for to be rude like this. I will leave the thread unlocked in the hopes that you can be more polite to the OP.

[kitkat1 5]

Ok, getting back to trying to offer the OP some contstructive advice... Can anyone either verify or shoot some holes in my assertion posted previously that it is easier for someone who previously had a tourist visa to get a new than for someone who never had one before? It seems to me that if the guy the OP wants to meet was able to show enough intent to return home that he got a tourist visa previously, then he has a good chance of being able to get a new tourist visa.

Yes, his chances SHOULD be better to get a tourist visa given that he had one before. But he will have to start anew with the process, I believe, in terms of proving ties rather than a simple "renewal".

[jsnearline 2]

I'm still unclear whether he ever used his previous tourist visa. The OP said it's expired, but I don't see any info on whether or not he used it. If he did, that would help him, but the mere fact he was able to get one before is a good sign, so long as his circumstances haven't changed since then.

[kitkat1 5]

or are you all telling me that it sucks to be us, give up being with each other? *is soooooooooo confused at this point and needing help to understand wth we are supposed to do now*

He can start by trying to get a new tourist visa. If you HAVE met in the previous two years and he is not able to get a tourist visa and you are 100% you want to get married, you can begin the I-129F process. See the previous links I posted for more information on the process as well as on the consulate in Mexico