Any fears or anxiety? How did you get over it.

[rjsteodosio 4]

Richard, my fiancé (in PI)

He makes me laugh and cry and want to do better. He knows how to love me like no other, but he also knows how to piss me off like no other. He knows my thoughts and actions better than I do. I deny this because I don't want him to have the satisfaction of knowing that he knows me too well. I can be an unreasonable and demanding brat sometimes. When I expect something done, I expect it to be done asap because thats how I am and I expect the same from others. Sometimes I forget that some people aren't like me and thats ok.. So as much as I'd hate to admit this, but my fiancé is the only person, other than my parents, who knows how to put me in my place.

For 7 years we've had one hell of a roller coaster for a relationship. We've gone thru extreme highs and extreme lows and loops in between. Now here we are going to thru the process. For the most part its been great, but theres times when I wonder if it'll all be worth it in the end.

I would sit and think about what our life would be like when he's finally here and how our married life would be.

Everyone that knows us knows how crazy our relationship is, who's isn't? There is no perfect relationship right?

In the past 7 years, I've done so much, given so much, and sacrificed so much in this relationship that the only thing I can hope for is that it will be all worth it in the end.

I just want to be a happy wife, live a happy life, and make my husband happy. Is that too much to ask?

I'd like to hear from you all...

Did you ever have fears thru out the relationship and petition process? and if so, what fears/anxieties did you have? and how did you get over it?

I'd love to hear your stories... I'd love to hear from both sides; PETITIONER & BENEFICIARY'S SIDES...

[kissmystars83 5]

I feel just like you. Its so hard some times. This is alot to deal with. I feel I have no one to talk too because I feel I will be judged. People always think...oh, they in it for a green card.

I just pray alot. My mind keeps going back and fourth....im killing my mans spirit sometimes. We argue then were back good. Its just a hard process on top of a long distance relationship. Im not giving up though. He thinks I am but im not.

[Erica & L 50]

I've personally never had any doubts about my relationship or anything like that, I love my wife to death and she is the best thing to ever happen to me.

I haven't worked in almost a year and that's the only stressful part, being at home all day, doing the same thing over and over, not being able to work or help out financially. Before we sent off out AOS application, there were days where I was extremely depressed and anxious. We couldn't find a co-sponsor and it just seemed like we were never going to be able to send out our package and there was no light at the end of the tunnel. I missed my friends terribly, missed being a functioning adult, but my wife never judged me, she knows how hard it's been for me and how much I've given up.

For the past 3 months I've been in much better spirits because I have some sort of timeline now and even though I miss my friends and some family, each day I'm one step closer to being able to see them. Soon I'll have my EAD and we can finally move to Oregon, get a cute little apartment, have two incomes, and eventually be able to go back to school and afford a proper wedding.

No matter how stressed out or upset I've been, I've always wanted her there with me. She is the only person who I've ever thought about, planned out, or could imagine a future with. We try and talk through our stresses or anxieties because we're in this together, and even though like any other person we can both get stubborn or irritable, we do our best to not take it out on each other and focus on the positive!

[rjsteodosio 4]

I feel just like you. Its so hard some times. This is alot to deal with. I feel I have no one to talk too because I feel I will be judged. People always think...oh, they in it for a green card.

I just pray alot. My mind keeps going back and fourth....im killing my mans spirit sometimes. We argue then were back good. Its just a hard process on top of a long distance relationship. Im not giving up though. He thinks I am but im not.

It is hard! We are dealing with a lot... so many emotions and money and time and papers agh!!

a lot of times i did feel like giving up, but he would always laugh and just say we're so close and you're just going to give up..

ughh...

good luck to you!!

I've personally never had any doubts about my relationship or anything like that, I love my wife to death and she is the best thing to ever happen to me.

I haven't worked in almost a year and that's the only stressful part, being at home all day, doing the same thing over and over, not being able to work or help out financially. Before we sent off out AOS application, there were days where I was extremely depressed and anxious. We couldn't find a co-sponsor and it just seemed like we were never going to be able to send out our package and there was no light at the end of the tunnel. I missed my friends terribly, missed being a functioning adult, but my wife never judged me, she knows how hard it's been for me and how much I've given up.

For the past 3 months I've been in much better spirits because I have some sort of timeline now and even though I miss my friends and some family, each day I'm one step closer to being able to see them. Soon I'll have my EAD and we can finally move to Oregon, get a cute little apartment, have two incomes, and eventually be able to go back to school and afford a proper wedding.

No matter how stressed out or upset I've been, I've always wanted her there with me. She is the only person who I've ever thought about, planned out, or could imagine a future with. We try and talk through our stresses or anxieties because we're in this together, and even though like any other person we can both get stubborn or irritable, we do our best to not take it out on each other and focus on the positive!

Thats awesome!!

I have got to be more positive... thank you. and good luck!

[gwenstar 66]

This whole process can put stress on a relationship. There are so many unknowns - lots of papers to file, the cost, how long will it take, potential RFE's....all of that on top of regular day to day life. It is big step choosing to share the rest of your life with someone and is perfectly natural to feel anxiety about that at times. I know for me, this whole process has been insanely frustrating, but it has also given a depth to me and my husbands relationship. Being long distance, sticking through every day waiting and being encouraging to each other when sometimes there is absolutely nothing you can do to make the situation better. If either of us wasn't sure that we wanted to do this I don't think we could make it through this process. But going through it together because we know we want this above all of the frustration is really bonding.

My husband and I have never lived together - it absolutely makes me wonder what it will be like to see him everyday and not just have a "vacation relationship". We have seen each other in good times and some bad times - but I know it will be different when we are in the same space. I have lived alone for a long time - now living in NYC in a tiny apartment, it definitely causes anxiety at times wondering how that's going to work out?! I know it will because we are both committed to it, but yeah...I'm sure it will make for some drama haha.

You guys have been together for a long time and sounds like you have weathered some big relationship storms. Some questioning and evaluating where you are at in life and your relationship can be a really healthy thing...hopefully it leads to strengthening your relationship and in the end you are together and happy even through all the highs and lows.

It looks like you guys are really close to being at the end of this whole paperwork train - that has GOT to be encouraging!!

Anyhow, good luck to us all going through this process

Edited March 17, 2014 by gwenstar

[rjsteodosio 4]

This whole process can put stress on a relationship. There are so many unknowns - lots of papers to file, the cost, how long will it take, potential RFE's....all of that on top of regular day to day life. It is big step choosing to share the rest of your life with someone and is perfectly natural to feel anxiety about that at times. I know for me, this whole process has been insanely frustrating, but it has also given a depth to me and my husbands relationship. Being long distance, sticking through every day waiting and being encouraging to each other when sometimes there is absolutely nothing you can do to make the situation better. If either of us wasn't sure that we wanted to do this I don't think we could make it through this process. But going through it together because we know we want this above all of the frustration is really bonding.

My husband and I have never lived together - it absolutely makes me wonder what it will be like to see him everyday and not just have a "vacation relationship". We have seen each other in good times and some bad times - but I know it will be different when we are in the same space. I have lived alone for a long time - now living in NYC in a tiny apartment, it definitely causes anxiety at times wondering how that's going to work out?! I know it will because we are both committed to it, but yeah...I'm sure it will make for some drama haha.

You guys have been together for a long time and sounds like you have weathered some big relationship storms. Some questioning and evaluating where you are at in life and your relationship can be a really healthy thing...hopefully it leads to strengthening your relationship and in the end you are together and happy even through all the highs and lows.

It looks like you guys are really close to being at the end of this whole paperwork train - that has GOT to be encouraging!!

Anyhow, good luck to us all going through this process

Thank you.

[erininnyc2012 1]

I've said to friends that I'm jealous of people who met and fell in love with someone from here. The whole process does put so much added stress on, but I think it forces us, more than the average couple, to figure out how to communicate and solve problems, and also to really know each other well.

I'll also say, once you're married and living together, it doesn't get easier...it's just a different kind of hard. My husband was sitting at home for months, not able to work, and relying completely on me, as we waited for his employment authorization. That was rough. Then there's the adjustment of living together, which, I love, but it certainly has it's moments. Going from long distance across an ocean to in the same room 24/7 is a huge change. Before, if I was stressed, I'd cry privately and get it out and not necessarily burden him with it. Now, he sees it, and we have to talk about it. It's forcing me to be more open and vulnerable with my emotions and feelings, and it's hard.

For me, though, it is 100% worth it. My husband is the love of my life, and I can't imagine going through all of this with anyone but him. The hardest part is that really no one who hasn't gone through it all understands, so it can feel like it's just you and him against the world (which, I guess is actually kind of a good feeling to have in a marriage).

Hugs. Don't give up. You owe it to your relationship to see it through the whole way and get to the other side of this process.

[kissmystars83 5]

You guys are so uplifting

I felt so alone and thought I was crazy to feel how I do. Its amazing how someones post can afftect so many others. I love this place.

[rjsteodosio 4]

thank you all for sharing!!

you give the rest of us hope and faith to hold on... this process is really stressful and expensive... but your stories have given me new hope to keep going.

[pro_star 52]

Same boat as Gwen!!

And honestly, I haven't lived with anyone since I still lived with family, and that was nine years ago. For the past six years it's just been me and the dog. Am I concerned about that? Yep!! (Especially when all my family makes a point of what a brat I am to live with...)

I've sold my house (at a loss) and will be moving in with a friend this weekend (and her hubby, and brother in law, and three huskies...). I've got all sorts of feelings about this one. Stress with the move, stress with living with people, excitement with living with people and living in the city again...

Stressed to heck that I can't work for the first while when I get down there. Also bugs me that i won't be able to get a drivers license and drive either! (Sad thing is he's already found me a car down there...). And adding more stress, because I'm still paying for it and it has a lien on it...I can't take my car down with me. And since it's a 2 year old car with a LOT of miles on it (80k) AND some jerk rear ended me two weeks after I got it...(so that'll show up on a carfax) it's not worth what I still owe. Mm lovely stress there. And the bank is a special kind of special trying to work that out.

And of course the probably standard when I get down there what if we realize we can't live together or something. I mean, we've been together for four years...we've been talking longer than that...but our time together is...two weeks max? Usually shorter than that?

Honestly I think we all get that little nagging voice in our heads.

My poor fiancé I've pretty much threatened him with tomatoes (he's one of those guys that doesn't like tomatoes....odd duck) that if something bugs us we gotta work it out cause with this path we're kinda stuck together.

[ayan05 0]

I have many but the biggest fear I nevr overcome is my fear of those worms. Any kind of worm will freak me out. I tried to touch them and try to like them but it really kills me at the end. I don't know why.

[rjsteodosio 4]

I have many but the biggest fear I nevr overcome is my fear of those worms. Any kind of worm will freak me out. I tried to touch them and try to like them but it really kills me at the end. I don't know why.

lol.. i have a fear of lizards, rats, and driving fast at night...

actually this post is about fears and anxiety related to the visa process, relationship, and all that good stuff...