how have your RUB wifes changed if any since coming here

[highlander08 9]

Hello everyone, I thought it would be interesting to ask how has your RUB / former FSU wife changed since coming to live with you if any... I'm interested in after a year or several years have you seen tendencies to maintain cultural / family qualities and traditions and keep the basic qualities that caused you to look in a former FSU country. Now I am not saying anything against any American women... there are many good, quality American women. I'm just interested in any major changes for better or worse that you have noticed.... Also how have you changed for better or worse in your opinion.. I'm not really interested in how women from other countries have fared as that would be portal / country specific. I have been searching for a FSU wife for some time now.. Thanks to private advice from a VJ member who has earned my respect and admiration....... my prospects are really looking good now for my dream to become reality and I'd like to get the humble opinions of those of you who are living the dream...

Thanks, Everyone.

[highlander08 9]

also does anyone know the link to the older post "rubettes and housework Si Man"

thanks

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Hello everyone, I thought it would be interesting to ask how has your RUB / former FSU wife changed since coming to live with you if any... I'm interested in after a year or several years have you seen tendencies to maintain cultural / family qualities and traditions and keep the basic qualities that caused you to look in a former FSU country. Now I am not saying anything against any American women... there are many good, quality American women. I'm just interested in any major changes for better or worse that you have noticed.... Also how have you changed for better or worse in your opinion.. I'm not really interested in how women from other countries have fared as that would be portal / country specific. I have been searching for a FSU wife for some time now.. Thanks to private advice from a VJ member who has earned my respect and admiration....... my prospects are really looking good now for my dream to become reality and I'd like to get the humble opinions of those of you who are living the dream...

Thanks, Everyone.

I would say that Alla has not changed in the fundamental ways that attracted me to her to begin with. She still follows basic Ukrainian habits and beliefs at home, in her manners, etc. Of course she learned to drive, uses the US banking system (she went from all cash to paying bills by check to paying bills online) she has lots of credit cards (Americanized) but never has a balance and pays no interest (Ukrainian style). She is very frugal still and has found the store credit cards can get her an additional 10% off and uses them for that. Then pays the balance onlie when she gets home.

She went from "I am not sure if I will learn to drive or not" 2 days before she arrived to "I hate the tram, I will not ride on it! I want my car!" She went from walking 5 blocks carrying groceries up 5 flights of stairs to pushing a button, driving into the garage and walking directly into the kitchen. She adapted well to that. She loves her car...no doubt about that. The "self propelled closet"

She still dresses up, won;t go out without looking good, doesn't even own pajamas...let alone go to the store in them. She lives, eats and acts like a Ukrainian, but with credit cards and a smart phone. To be honest, more people in Ukraine are living like this now also.

She also has really perfected English. She still has a smoking hot Russian accent, but is very confident and capable with English and few people have any difficulty understanding her anymore. She always could speak English well, but many people seemed not to understand her. ??? That does not seem to be a problem anymore.

She has adapted but has not "changed" in fundamental ways.

[Hollyday 122]

Hello everyone, I thought it would be interesting to ask how has your RUB / former FSU wife changed since coming to live with you if any... I'm interested in after a year or several years have you seen tendencies to maintain cultural / family qualities and traditions and keep the basic qualities that caused you to look in a former FSU country. Now I am not saying anything against any American women... there are many good, quality American women. I'm just interested in any major changes for better or worse that you have noticed.... Also how have you changed for better or worse in your opinion.. I'm not really interested in how women from other countries have fared as that would be portal / country specific. I have been searching for a FSU wife for some time now.. Thanks to private advice from a VJ member who has earned my respect and admiration....... my prospects are really looking good now for my dream to become reality and I'd like to get the humble opinions of those of you who are living the dream...

Thanks, Everyone.

What 'basic qualities' do you mean exactly, if you don't mind me asking?

[highlander08 9]

What 'basic qualities' do you mean exactly, if you don't mind me asking?

Basic qualities, for example, being family oriented as opposed to career oriented, and materialistic.. keeping traditional values and ideals such as everyone eating at the table together and discussing their day, appreciating and loving their man instead of talking bad about him behind his back or just using him as an easy ride. keeping pride in their dressing ethics like Gary said above, dressing nice out in public not wearing pajamas or sweats in public.. eating a healthy diet and getting proper exercise to look good for their man. In fairness a man should make a sincere effort to look good for his Lady as well.

I remember my father telling me 30 some years ago that a woman will go out of her way to look good to catch a man but after marriage and baby then she does not worry that much any more. many women get overweight after marriage and children and consider a man keeping her to avoid losing his child and getting caught in the child/ spousal support trap that many women use. now I am not specifying any one nation for this but some of the more westernized nations this is a lot more prevalent.

[highlander08 9]

Basic qualities, for example, being family oriented as opposed to career oriented, and materialistic.. keeping traditional values and ideals such as everyone eating at the table together and discussing their day, appreciating and loving their man instead of talking bad about him behind his back or just using him as an easy ride. keeping pride in their dressing ethics like Gary said above, dressing nice out in public not wearing pajamas or sweats in public.. eating a healthy diet and getting proper exercise to look good for their man. In fairness a man should make a sincere effort to look good for his Lady as well.

I remember my father telling me 30 some years ago that a woman will go out of her way to look good to catch a man but after marriage and baby then she does not worry that much any more. many women get overweight after marriage and children and consider a man keeping her to avoid losing his child and getting caught in the child/ spousal support trap that many women use. now I am not specifying any one nation for this but some of the more westernized nations this is a lot more prevalent.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

What 'basic qualities' do you mean exactly, if you don't mind me asking?

No problem. Alla has many of the old traditional ideas regarding family. For one, she is a woman and loves being a woman. She believes, and so do I, that beauty is a tangible quality a woman provides for her family...for her husband. She likes to look good, for me and for her.

she believes men and women have different roles in the family...not that women are not equal, but that they are different and provide different and important qualities. Nutrition, health, care about the cleanliness of the home, that we eat good meals, that I watch my health, the children are not eating "junk" and look "normal", in other words, dress and act respectably I would eat Tater Tots and Goober Grape left on my own. She has my medications set up on some auto refill thing and gets text messages when they are ready. Yeah, right, I should do that myself, but I'm a guy so I run out of insulin and decide to get it on the weekend when I am going to the store anyway. She is the woman and doesn't let that happen. On the other hand everything in our house works because I fix it right away if it doesn't. She wanted a new bed, I built it. She looks out for me and I look out for her.

She takes great pleasure in giving me pleasure. Yes, that means what you think. "it is normal" as she would say. We each have our qualities to add to the relationship and the family. She believes she is the mother and I am the father and that our roles extend to each other as well as to the children. I need her to be "my mother" sometimes and she needs me as her father...and NO, not in some creepy way. She is the one who encourages, some would say "demands" that the children do well in school and demands that their studies have taken priority over girls, cars, jobs, etc. So far so good. I get the job of disciplinarian when needed (rarely) I am also the manly guy to fix things, lift things, move things, and more or less keep everything running perfectly. I have handled the immigration process entirely.

Alla is...June Cleaver with lace top stockings and a thong under her dress, and wearing high heels.

None of that has changed.

she adapted to life here without changing her opinions. She has double standards and I indulge that admittedly. She is entitled to certain privileges. Such privileges determined as needed. we came home the other day and I had dozed off in the car...she had cleared a space for me in her self propelled office/closet.

"We have arriven, wake up"

Arriven?

"Yes we have arriven home"

Arriven is not a word

"Yes it is. It is a past perfect progressive verb. Arriven"

Its not a word

"I just made it"

You can't make words, this is not "Scrabble" and you don't get triple word score.

"I am a citizen now, I can make words"

See what I mean?

Look, I do not intend to argue this with the assorted interlopers who may now swoop in and call me a misogynist or chauvinist pig or something. I really do not care what their opinion is or how they live in their homes. Seems like it works for us. Alla is a traditional woman/wife/mother and wants it that way. So do I.

Though, funny story, one day our son Sergey, asked me this same question when we were talking on skype. His girlfreind from Moscow was about to arrive on a student visa to attend school here and he asked me "Do you think Mom has changed since she came?" Alla was in the process of "painting her hair" and was wearing that plastic bag thing on her head, an old robe and an old t-shirt with hair paint stains all over it, big fuzzy pink slippers.

I called her over to the desk...

"Look Sergey, this is how Mom dresses to go to Walmart"

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Why didn't your post copy? Hmmm

Anyway, yes, mostly correct. Alla is MORE family oriented THAN career oriented BUT she has had a lot of education to advance her career. I think she is a bit of a "professional student". OK, I can handle that. She IS proud of her career (sort of on hold now as she goes to more school to advance her career...more)

And though she is very frugal, she definitely likes new clothes and shoes. She is not materialistic in other ways though. And she does find the best bargains on shoes and clothes (I think that is "the hunt" and the purchase is "the kill")

A clever, capable, educated woman who chooses to make her husband and family number 1 is very sexy

[highlander08 9]

Though, funny story, one day our son Sergey, asked me this same question when we were talking on skype. His girlfreind from Moscow was about to arrive on a student visa to attend school here and he asked me "Do you think Mom has changed since she came?" Alla was in the process of "painting her hair" and was wearing that plastic bag thing on her head, an old robe and an old t-shirt with hair paint stains all over it, big fuzzy pink slippers.

I called her over to the desk...

"Look Sergey, this is how Mom dresses to go to Walmart"

Gary you had me rolling on the floor on that one !!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for your insight...

Edited November 30, 2013 by highlander08

[Neonred 3,461]

I have read what Gary has written about his wife and I would say this is an almost exact description my wife. The one thing that I would say may be different is that my wife has become more materialistic and GEATLY enjoys spending money, as much as she can, and then a little more because she now has the means to do it. She greatly values big name brands, high end goods, and luxury.

[TBoneTX 43,476]

also does anyone know the link to the older post "rubettes and housework Si Man"

thanks

Si, man:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/339612-rubbette-wives-housework-si-man/

[Turboguy 6]

Two weeks from now is our 6th wedding anniversary. Any changes I have seen would be very small. She still works hard to look good and is proud of being "hot" She eats a healthy diet (unlike me) with lots of fruits and vegies and exercises regularly.

My wife was never traditional. She never wanted kids and still doesn't. She wants a high paying career and is working hard towards that goal. She is in school with about a year to go and has a perfect 4.0 average with usually the highest grades in her class and a few times had the highest scores in the history of the class.

She is also very frugal. It drives me nuts to shop with her. She will go into a store and fill up a shopping cart with clothes, go to the dressing room, spend 45 minutes trying them all on and then put them all back. On a good day she may buy one thing, usually something very nice on a hot sale. She went out for Black Friday with a Ukrainian GF and spent 6 hours shopping and came back without a single purchase.

We live far cheaper than I lived alone but that too can drive me nuts sometimes. She will bring me a credit card bill with a 75 cent charge she didn't think should be on there and make me call the credit card company to have it removed. Personally I would not waste the time to save 75 cents. In addition to being a student she works 2 half days a week in my business. We can almost live on her pay and bank mine she is so frugal. Of course there is a bad side to that. Our house is freezing because she won't turn up the heat. We have whole house air that has been on once since she arrived.

Getting back on topic when she first arrived I offered to get Russian TV. She didn't want it. She said she wanted to immerse herself in English and her goal was to not be a Russian living in America but rather an American from Russia. She still doesn't want Russian TV (it costs extra) but does spend her time watching Russian movies on the internet, talking to her Russian friends in Russian and listening to Russian music. Of course her English is great now as it was when she arrived. She is still not comfortable with speaking English and I have to call to make DR or Dentist appointments for her and to talk to any strangers. People understand her fine but she isn't comfortable with it. That would be the one change I have noticed.

To the best of my knowledge she does not put me down with her friends. Rather from what she tells me she brags about me because I treat her so much better than do the husbands of her friends. For example she told me last night that her friends husband makes her pay for her own education and tells her not to shop so much. I told my wife before she went out on Black Friday to buy lots of stuff while it was cheap. My wife is much, much younger than I am and I do tend to dote over her a bit. To me it is a fun game and she enjoys it and I think considers it one of the perks of marrying an older guy. She is so frugal that we are able to bank 65% of our income. I had little savings when she arrived but now it is getting pretty substantial and that is all thanks to her so I certainly would not begrudge her spending some money on something she wants.

In a nutshell, very little change since we first married.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I have read what Gary has written about his wife and I would say this is an almost exact description my wife. The one thing that I would say may be different is that my wife has become more materialistic and GEATLY enjoys spending money, as much as she can, and then a little more because she now has the means to do it. She greatly values big name brands, high end goods, and luxury.

Your wife married a dentist. Mine married a construction superintendent.

Seriously, Alla is not so concerned with luxury. she could have chosen about any car within a reason...not a Maserati, but if she wanted a Nissan Ultima she could have had it. she chose a Toyota Yaris. Good, reliable transportation, easy to drive and park but hardly fancy. She likes quality clothes but will shop for them at TJ Maxx or get them on sale, off season, at Macy's.

Her bathroom is as luxurious as anyone's but she waited more than a year to assemble all the materials on clearance sales and I did all the labor (Pasha helped)

she likes "things" and enjoys her much more comfortable life (especially when she is in Ukraine for a month or more) but remains very frugal

Edited November 30, 2013 by Gary and Alla

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Two weeks from now is our 6th wedding anniversary. Any changes I have seen would be very small. She still works hard to look good and is proud of being "hot" She eats a healthy diet (unlike me) with lots of fruits and vegies and exercises regularly.

My wife was never traditional. She never wanted kids and still doesn't. She wants a high paying career and is working hard towards that goal. She is in school with about a year to go and has a perfect 4.0 average with usually the highest grades in her class and a few times had the highest scores in the history of the class.

She is also very frugal. It drives me nuts to shop with her. She will go into a store and fill up a shopping cart with clothes, go to the dressing room, spend 45 minutes trying them all on and then put them all back. On a good day she may buy one thing, usually something very nice on a hot sale. She went out for Black Friday with a Ukrainian GF and spent 6 hours shopping and came back without a single purchase.

We live far cheaper than I lived alone but that too can drive me nuts sometimes. She will bring me a credit card bill with a 75 cent charge she didn't think should be on there and make me call the credit card company to have it removed. Personally I would not waste the time to save 75 cents. In addition to being a student she works 2 half days a week in my business. We can almost live on her pay and bank mine she is so frugal. Of course there is a bad side to that. Our house is freezing because she won't turn up the heat. We have whole house air that has been on once since she arrived.

Getting back on topic when she first arrived I offered to get Russian TV. She didn't want it. She said she wanted to immerse herself in English and her goal was to not be a Russian living in America but rather an American from Russia. She still doesn't want Russian TV (it costs extra) but does spend her time watching Russian movies on the internet, talking to her Russian friends in Russian and listening to Russian music. Of course her English is great now as it was when she arrived. She is still not comfortable with speaking English and I have to call to make DR or Dentist appointments for her and to talk to any strangers. People understand her fine but she isn't comfortable with it. That would be the one change I have noticed.

To the best of my knowledge she does not put me down with her friends. Rather from what she tells me she brags about me because I treat her so much better than do the husbands of her friends. For example she told me last night that her friends husband makes her pay for her own education and tells her not to shop so much. I told my wife before she went out on Black Friday to buy lots of stuff while it was cheap. My wife is much, much younger than I am and I do tend to dote over her a bit. To me it is a fun game and she enjoys it and I think considers it one of the perks of marrying an older guy. She is so frugal that we are able to bank 65% of our income. I had little savings when she arrived but now it is getting pretty substantial and that is all thanks to her so I certainly would not begrudge her spending some money on something she wants.

In a nutshell, very little change since we first married.

So similar to my wife...no great change at all. They are different, but always were.

Likewise there was NO Russian in our house for many months after she arrived, more for Pasha's benefit. Poor kid, he was the one that had to learn a new language. Sergey and Alla already spoke English well.

Alla studies her credit card statement and the other bills (she started paying the bills a few years ago). I let her deal with that and YES she will call if there is some small charge she was not aware of or shouldn't be there. All bills are paid on time or (preferably for her) early. NO credit card balances, NO student loans. Alla also is good at saving money

When Pasha went to school and now the house is empty during the day, we turn OFF the heat. She took us off the "budget plan" which was $145 per month. Since then we have had five gas bills...the highest $57. She puts the difference between what we were paying and what we pay now in the savings account. If she "saves" money on something she needed to buy anyway, she puts that in the savings account. She used to stash it in her desk (Ukrainian style) but I finally convinced her the bank is a better place...or at least got her to agree to out it in the bank.

Alla stays away from stores (crowds) on Black Friday! We still celebrate "New Year's" instead of Christmas and do our shopping after Christmas.

[TBoneTX 43,476]

Mrs. T-B. is not a RUBbette, but I was surprised at her restraint on Viernes Negro (Black Friday), wow man. She does tend to shop sales, si man. She's very good at picking up good stuff (albeit too much, for my taste) on Craigslist, and she's gotten into garage sales, even sweet-talking folks farther down from asking-price than I could, $i man.

When she hugs & kisses me and sappily says, "I love you, Cariño [sweetheart]," I know without asking that she's been talking to one of her relatives or girlfriends who's married to an Ecuatoriano and is therefore being treated like dirt. When she gets the wide, innocent puppy-dog eyes and says, "Cariño..." then I know that a request for money or a purchase is imminent. A variation on that theme is The Eyes and "Sometimes, husbands buy their wives a _____."

On the very day of her naturalization ceremony, I noticed some ominous changes in her expressed attitude about spending. It caused me to compose new lyrics to the song La Cucaracha (The Cockroach), si man:

Ciudada-NA America-NA (si man si man):

Puede esposo joder;

Ciudada-NA, ciudada-NA (si man si man):

Americana siempre.

Translation, see man:

Female American citizen (si man si man):

Able to nag husband;

Female citizen, female citizen:

Female American always.

Si and sigh, man.