Happily Married

[russ 1]

Since just about everyone has said how quiet things have been here, it is a good time for me to let everyone know how it has been going.

On the paperwork side, we have filed for AOS/AP/EAD, and have reciepts. The backlog for AOS interviews is a few YEARS here, so it could be a while. My advice - be sure to apply for all three at once; if you have applied for your EAD at the same time as AOS, you will get it within 90 days. Reciepts came a week later. Driver's license here (FL) required the reciept from AOS. (We found out the hard way, K1/I-94 weren't good enough). Галина already has a SSN from working here before. The SMART thing to do is get a drivers license (and SSN and bank account if you don't already have one) within a few days.

On the personal side - marriage has been great. We are both looking forward to spring here in Florida. New Years was a three day trip on a sailboat in the gulf. (Drinking champagne, watching sunsets, dolphins, etc.) We hit a storm at anchor, lost the jib, scary stuff. Galia doesn't want to sail every again). I've slowed down my work a bit, so we have been at home a lot. She's planning to start her MBA next year. Things are good.

The bad news - Галина came down with appendicitis two weeks ago. Unfortanately, she was introduced to American hospitals very quickly (her mother is a physician -- they were not as good as Russian ones she is used too, or Dutch ones that I am used to.). She's fine now, but you all know Murphy's law, it happened a week before her US medical insurance became effective. $50,000 in hospital bills already! Ouch! [some free advice - buy a travel insurance policy to cover your fiancee until your normal insurance becomes effective. It probably won't be immediate. Generally 6 months here in FL.]

I have been studying Russian more seriosly now (letters from Mom and Granny, watching Мастер и маргарита and Зардонов). This has been mostly academic - Galina's English is perfect, she corrects my grammer almost every day. This happens when you marry someone who majored in English and German Literature.

So - a few questions for the old timers:

How has your marriage been? What are you doing? What problems did you run in to? When are you going back to Russia? (Strangely enough, I'm going to visit the in-laws in a few months, but my wife would rather stay home).

And, for the new guys and girls:

PLEASE ASK SOME QUESTIONS. There are a bunch of us here who figured this stuff out the hard way -- we would all like to help. There aren't any stupid questions here, at least, I haven't seen one yet.

[figsybigsy 0]

Happy to hear your story Russ. As for your medical bills, you should be able to negotiate that to ten cents on the dollar. I do have a question, I own two high end vehicles, but my fiancee has never driven a vehicle, I was thinking about buying a junker for her to practice. What was your experience with your wife's driving?

[russ 1]

Happy to hear your story Russ. As for your medical bills, you should be able to negotiate that to ten cents on the dollar. I do have a question, I own two high end vehicles, but my fiancee has never driven a vehicle, I was thinking about buying a junker for her to practice. What was your experience with your wife's driving?

On the medical bills - my laywer is handling that already. Should be about ten cents on the dollar in the end - just a waste of time fighting with hospitals. As my lawyer told my wife - she would have a great malpractice suit if she had died... (her mother and my best friend her are physicians)

For driving - she has driven cars in Russia (mostly Mercedes E or S class sedans). She does fine with my car (another high-end German sedan, though she doesn't like driving a stick. She is very good at it, though).

For her first car here, we both agree a beater with good AC is a good choice. (We live in FL, AC is necessary). Probably a car more like mine when her first on dies.

The most challenging thing for her about driving has been worrying about damaging a $60,000 car. I honestly don't care - she is a safer driver than I am, and if she wrecks it - oh well, insurance will buy me the new one I want anyway. I only worry about her being safe.)

My general advice (to everyone) would be this: Buy your fiance/ee some type of cheap car (10 yrs old, but working) before they get here, and let them know it is tempororay, until you/them/both of you buy another one. Unless you live in Manhattan/Boston/Chicago/someplace where you don't drive anyway. It is difficult in this country to be without a car. Learning to drive, and having a car is something that needs to be sorted out quickly. Most of it can be done before your future spouse gets here. Once the "temporary" car dies, get a real one.

I've lived in other countries before, and I have been lucky enough to have my cars arranged by someone else (employers, etc). I wish I had helped my wife more in this respect.

All this being said, it hasn't been a big deal for us yet. We don't need to drive much where we are, though, if we don't want to. We have walking-distance friends/supermarkets/restaurants/bars/beaches.

[snz1802 0]

Sorry to hear about you wifes illness but glad she is ok now, glad to hear the marriage is going well, good luck on AOS

[Satellite 1]

This thread should properly be labeled as solutions and advice for people who have a decent income!

Of course I am glad everything turned out well for you Russ, but your advice sure requires some money to carry out.

For example we have only one car but live in major city. My wife got her driver's license but she only drives when I am in the passenger's seat because I am scared to death she'll wreck the car. Main reason is her lack of experience. The only car she drove in Russia was a VAZ-2106, 1994, and only about 10 lessons that I paid for. We have only liability insurance because we can't afford anything more. Thus insurance would not buy us a new car. We can't afford to buy a junker even though that is great advice based on my high school days.

But still I ponder at your logic. Suppose you wreck the car, your comprehensive coverage is only going to give you the blue book value of your vehicle and not what you paid for it. You are already at a loss. Assuming you guys all drive high end cars that can be a difference of over $10K assuming your cars are brand new off the lot. So if you planned on buying a vehicle of equal or greater value, insurance isn't going to cover the entire price tag.

Second, if you’re at fault and you get an injury, comprehensive, and liability claim your insurance is going to shoot up and stay up between 3 - 7 years depending on your insurance company. Again in that scenario my wife would not be driving because we wouldn't be able to afford insurance.

The travel insurance is great advice. Probably the best investment you can get. But be careful to look over the terms of that policy. Since K1 visa status might be construed as not a "tourist" and the insurance company might refuse to pay.

But for those of that work jobs that don't pay benefits the best we can do on health insurance is emergency private coverage i.e. $4k deductible and hope we're healthy. So far so good, knock on wood. But a $50k bill even if lowered to 10% of that plus attorney's fees would easily put us on collection.

Oh well, all to come as soon as school is done

[russ 1]

This thread should properly be labeled as solutions and advice for people who have a decent income!

Of course I am glad everything turned out well for you Russ, but your advice sure requires some money to carry out.

Like I said above - the car advice doesn't necessarily apply if you live in a big city. In most of Florida (where we live), a car is really a necessity. If finances permit, I think it is still a good idea.

You will probably get a better deal if you have a few months to shop around for something cheap, rather than being forced to buy a car as soon as you find a job.

I was shocked at how much my wife's auto insurance was (my insurer insisted that she was listed, even when she didn't have a license).

As for insurance covering the loss of a car - obviously it isn't the purchase price. It is more than a dealer would offer me to trade it though (since I am planning to replace it soon anyway).

[Girona40 0]

This thread should properly be labeled as solutions and advice for people who have a decent income!

Of course I am glad everything turned out well for you Russ, but your advice sure requires some money to carry out.

Like I said above - the car advice doesn't necessarily apply if you live in a big city. In most of Florida (where we live), a car is really a necessity. If finances permit, I think it is still a good idea.

You will probably get a better deal if you have a few months to shop around for something cheap, rather than being forced to buy a car as soon as you find a job.

I was shocked at how much my wife's auto insurance was (my insurer insisted that she was listed, even when she didn't have a license).

As for insurance covering the loss of a car - obviously it isn't the purchase price. It is more than a dealer would offer me to trade it though (since I am planning to replace it soon anyway).

There are insurance companies, though, that DO provide a brand new car, if you are insuring a vehicle purchased new, with them. They were only advertising it on the tv last night.

[Satellite 1]

There are insurance companies, though, that DO provide a brand new car, if you are insuring a vehicle purchased new, with them. They were only advertising it on the tv last night.

Yes, these do exist at an additional cost, and are usually provided by the car dealership. Those things do have a lot of restrictions in them. So be careful before buying one of those plans.

[slim 1,514]

Great news Russ. (Well, all except the busted guts!) Glad to hear things are going good for the two of you.

Sat, I'm with you brother. I'm worried sick about how we're going to make it. She's not even here yet and I'm broke. But, like you said... that will come.

Thanks for the travel insurance tip Russ. I will definately look into that. Could save a whole bunch of money. (No Geico commercials here!)

Good luck guys! Keep us posted!

[skinsfan 0]

my wife received a Russian and an international drivers license prior to coming to the USA...i am sure Stevie Wonder issued the permit to her....i have been teaching her to drive for the past two months...in the beginning she scared the ####### out of me, but she is now getting better. i bought my wife an older Lincoln, 1997...it has all the bells and whistles...keeps her happy, and is big and safe...and paid for....if she has a bump in the road, no big deal.......she can't wait to finally open the sunroof......

[slim 1,514]

Lincolns are awesome!!!

Does she lean way back and to the side when she drives real slow down I-70?

(Just kidding... been listening to way too much Nelly and the St. Lounatics lately.)

[john_and_marlene 162]

my wife received a Russian and an international drivers license prior to coming to the USA...i am sure Stevie Wonder issued the permit to her....i have been teaching her to drive for the past two months...in the beginning she scared the ####### out of me, but she is now getting better. i bought my wife an older Lincoln, 1997...it has all the bells and whistles...keeps her happy, and is big and safe...and paid for....if she has a bump in the road, no big deal.......she can't wait to finally open the sunroof......

1997 was the last good year for the Lincoln Town Car -- I loved mine before the miles piled up and I got rid of it.