Question that occurred to me re: disclosing a wedding date.

[Jo Amelia Finlay 20]

Having been doing a lot of browsing on here, and reading up on the post-NOA2 process (I like to be prepared!) a question occurs to me...

At what point does it become "acceptable" to have a date to get married?

I ask this because I assume if an immigration officer happened to ask me - to perhaps trip me up, I've heard of that happening - when the wedding is at this stage in our journey, it would be frowned upon or considered suspicious if I had a date in mind (FYI, I don't!).

However, I see on here http://london.usembassy.gov/iv_15.html and in the K1s from NOA2 to interview thread, the discussion of naming a wedding date, to potentially hurry the embassy to give you an interview date.

Presumably the embassy are cool with it and don't consider it suspicious, otherwise they wouldn't say you can inform them of such a thing! I was just wondering where others think this would change from being taboo

No judgement, no gripes, I'm just genuinely curious as to which point in our journey it's apparently allowed to assume you're going to get an approval! There are several steps here obviously, you can get the NOA2 but then get denied at interview.

Thoughts, musings from fellow VJers?

Equally if I've misunderstood something or misread, please feel free to correct me! Still getting my noggin' around all this info!

[lost_at_sea 995]

Having been doing a lot of browsing on here, and reading up on the post-NOA2 process (I like to be prepared!) a question occurs to me...

At what point does it become "acceptable" to have a date to get married?

I ask this because I assume if an immigration officer happened to ask me - to perhaps trip me up, I've heard of that happening - when the wedding is at this stage in our journey, it would be frowned upon or considered suspicious if I had a date in mind (FYI, I don't!).

However, I see on here http://london.usembassy.gov/iv_15.html and in the K1s from NOA2 to interview thread, the discussion of naming a wedding date, to potentially hurry the embassy to give you an interview date.

Presumably the embassy are cool with it and don't consider it suspicious, otherwise they wouldn't say you can inform them of such a thing! I was just wondering where others think this would change from being taboo

No judgement, no gripes, I'm just genuinely curious as to which point in our journey it's apparently allowed to assume you're going to get an approval! There are several steps here obviously, you can get the NOA2 but then get denied at interview.

Thoughts, musings from fellow VJers?

Equally if I've misunderstood something or misread, please feel free to correct me! Still getting my noggin' around all this info!

The having a wedding date to "hurry" the embassy is conjecture. People have done so (named a date) and then their interview has been in time. Since no one has actually run an experiment with set dates and a control group without, we don't know for sure that that's ever had an effect on the embassy processing dates. However, those folks setting interview dates are humans and probably have some compassion for folks with commitments (particularly financial ones), but equally, they have *a lot* of interviews to book for lots of different types of visas and people, and if it was as simple as naming a date you needed it by - everyone would be doing that.

From what I can tell - there's no harm in telling them you have a date. In fact, you can do whatever you like in that regard. In the case of K1, they will expect you to have considered the when and how of your upcoming marriage.

The only thing I *would* say for sure is nothing in this process is guaranteed, so no one here would recommend you book or plan anything that can't be unbooked or unplanned (especially if they are expensive), as everything in this process is subject to change and surprise delays.

Don't assume approval until you have it, and don't assume you have a visa until your passport is back in your hand.

Edited May 16, 2013 by lost_at_sea

[Ian and Deanna 5]

I was wondering the same, do you put a date you would like to get married to speed things up or leave it blank, cause you cant guarantee when your interview will be and be ready to travel!! But assuming you don't put a date you run the risk of being at the bottom of the pile, i guess, from what i have read on here!!

I wonder if they even ask you for the wedding details, and travel documents ?

We have a date in mind, of when we would like to get married and it wouldn't take that long to plan as we know how we are going to do it, but just like you, how do we know that the visa will be issued in time and can we take that risk!!

We have a July date in mind and would love to make final plans and book my flight ticket out of here, we can smell it it that close lol.

[Jo Amelia Finlay 20]

I have "Hmm that would be nice..." ideas but nothing more at this point. I am way too much of a scaredy cat to take a gamble! I don't think I'd even book a flight until I had everything signed, sealed and delivered back to me from the interview.

Each to their own of course, and I do understand it's all down to the individual and their judgement calls

Yes of course you could go the other way and if asked rather far along the process about wedding ideas, if you protest too much that nothing is planned and thought about, that could also look a little suspect, haha!

All fun and games eh? Thanks for your thoughts guys.

[Ian and Deanna 5]

Well i think that plane flights can be booked at the very last minute anyway as there are many flights from the UK to US. I fly from Birmingham to Amsterdam and Amsterdam to Portland Oregon and i have many flights to choose from, so i could book this a couple of days before i go anyway!!

And i suppose each wedding will be different depending on your circumstances i guess, we have both been married before so neither of us want another white wedding. All we know is that we want to be together so as long as its official and we can be together that is all that matters!! A pastor can marry you anywhere for a small donation!! So naming a wedding date for us is just picking a date we would like to get married and go for that date if the visa comes through or if it dosnt i guess we can rearrange it with out to much difficulties, so no flight costs have been factored into the equation, which makes it easier for us!!

They ask you the date on the form so i guess they must expect people to be presumptuousness when naming a date, cause know one really knows when the visa will be issued!! Its a tricky one isn't it lol

[agnesb 47]

At what point does it become "acceptable" to have a date to get married?

I'm just genuinely curious as to which point in our journey it's apparently allowed to assume you're going to get an approval!

In my opinion its perfectly safe and even normal to have a wedding date in mind and assume you get an approval - we are humans with feelings,hopes and expectations as every one else. We cannot be punished for falling in love with an american.

That of course doesn't mean one should be booking up a big white wedding or booking flights before having visa in hand. (I actually did take the risk and booked my flight prior to the interview )

Edited May 16, 2013 by agnesb

[Jo Amelia Finlay 20]

In my opinion its perfectly safe and even normal to have a wedding date in mind and assume you get an approval - we are humans with feelings,hopes and expectations as every one else. We cannot be punished for falling in love with an american.

That of course doesn't mean one should be booking up a big white wedding or booking flights before having visa in hand. (I actually did take the risk and booked my flight prior to the interview )

Yes, true. And you would have done everything in your power to make the application, info gathering and prep to be absolutely everything the embassy could want... Thus making the interview a 'formality' (for want of a better word) and approval likely, all being well!

Perhaps I will change my view nearer the time as the excitement builds and the end of this process is in sight

[Nich-Nick 3,353]

Having been doing a lot of browsing on here, and reading up on the post-NOA2 process (I like to be prepared!) a question occurs to me...

At what point does it become "acceptable" to have a date to get married?

I ask this because I assume if an immigration officer happened to ask me - to perhaps trip me up, I've heard of that happening - when the wedding is at this stage in our journey, it would be frowned upon or considered suspicious if I had a date in mind (FYI, I don't!).

Back to your original question. It is not frowned upon to have a wedding date in mind. Why would it? You are a couple who plans to marry and must marry within 90 days of entry. To me it would be more telling to not have thought about it. "Do you have any wedding plans?" "Huh? Wedding? Umm..err."

London interviewers do not try to trip you up. For the vast majority of couples, is an informal chat like you might have with a new acquaintance who heard you were going to marry an American and was interested.

How did you meet?

Where will you live?

Does she have any kids?

What does she do for a living?

Why do you want to live in America, instead of her moving to the UK?

Have you met her family?

It's a bunch of small talk. They don't want to go through photo albums or Skype logs. They do want to make sure you know the basics they are reading in the file...where she lives, works, and that you know about her 3 divorces and 8 kids.

Lately one of the interviewers has been asking "what do you love most about her?" or "how did you know she was the one?"

[Owen_London 65]

Back to your original question. It is not frowned upon to have a wedding date in mind. Why would it? You are a couple who plans to marry and must marry within 90 days of entry. To me it would be more telling to not have thought about it. "Do you have any wedding plans?" "Huh? Wedding? Umm..err."

London interviewers do not try to trip you up. For the vast majority of couples, is an informal chat like you might have with a new acquaintance who heard you were going to marry an American and was interested.

How did you meet?

Where will you live?

Does she have any kids?

What does she do for a living?

Why do you want to live in America, instead of her moving to the UK?

Have you met her family?

It's a bunch of small talk. They don't want to go through photo albums or Skype logs. They do want to make sure you know the basics they are reading in the file...where she lives, works, and that you know about her 3 divorces and 8 kids.

Lately one of the interviewers has been asking "what do you love most about her?" or "how did you know she was the one?"

That sounds like fun. I almost wish I'd had that instead of "What job is it you do?" twice, and a few similar questions.

[Jo Amelia Finlay 20]

Back to your original question. It is not frowned upon to have a wedding date in mind. Why would it? You are a couple who plans to marry and must marry within 90 days of entry. To me it would be more telling to not have thought about it. "Do you have any wedding plans?" "Huh? Wedding? Umm..err."

London interviewers do not try to trip you up. For the vast majority of couples, is an informal chat like you might have with a new acquaintance who heard you were going to marry an American and was interested.

How did you meet?

Where will you live?

Does she have any kids?

What does she do for a living?

Why do you want to live in America, instead of her moving to the UK?

Have you met her family?

It's a bunch of small talk. They don't want to go through photo albums or Skype logs. They do want to make sure you know the basics they are reading in the file...where she lives, works, and that you know about her 3 divorces and 8 kids.

Lately one of the interviewers has been asking "what do you love most about her?" or "how did you know she was the one?"

Apologies if I was unclear, I was referring to if when I visit this summer and tell the border guard (or whatever they are called) I'm visiting my fiance, I have heard they can ask "...When's the wedding?" in order to get an idea if you're going to enter the country and not come back! I know this doesn't happen every time, it's just one example I have read. But I wasn't saying they do this at the interview stage. That was my point, that at this early stage - actually now that I think about it, I think I've identified the important difference between the two reactions to wedding plans. D'oh! The immigration/border guard chaps are on the alert for people potentially not leaving the country, so any "tripping up" might be on the menu there. With the embassy and doing-things-the-proper-way business, this isn't the case.

I just answered my own question. Only took a few hours

[Nich-Nick 3,353]

That sounds like fun. I almost wish I'd had that instead of "What job is it you do?" twice, and a few similar questions.

Hmmm.. What job do you do? There is a security component where if you have highly scientific skills, you could end in AP for extra security checks. (think: bomb building, chemical warfare, explosives or even other skills like being James Bond secret agent) Maybe they were checking you out? Each interviewer makes up their own questions and sometimes tailor them to the applicants. Ours didn't even ask when we got engaged or how did you propose like some do. We're oldsters so I guess he figured if my fiancé got down on one knee, he might not be able to get up again. Hahaha.

[Owen_London 65]

Hmmm.. What job do you do? There is a security component where if you have highly scientific skills, you could end in AP for extra security checks. (think: bomb building, chemical warfare, explosives or even other skills like being James Bond secret agent) Maybe they were checking you out? Each interviewer makes up their own questions and sometimes tailor them to the applicants. Ours didn't even ask when we got engaged or how did you propose like some do. We're oldsters so I guess he figured if my fiancé got down on one knee, he might not be able to get up again. Hahaha.

Well, it's because I was after an employment visa. I'm in Houston, so you can probably guess that it's oil and gas. I suspect there are some petroleum engineering disciplines that have alternative military-related uses, so might go into AP, but I'm a geologist so there's little chance of that.

I'll get my questions about having a bona fide marriage later this year during AoS, providing our tax advisor ever gets round to finishing off our 2012 return.

[Nich-Nick 3,353]

Well, it's because I was after an employment visa. I'm in Houston, so you can probably guess that it's oil and gas. I suspect there are some petroleum engineering disciplines that have alternative military-related uses, so might go into AP, but I'm a geologist so there's little chance of that.

I'll get my questions about having a bona fide marriage later this year during AoS, providing our tax advisor ever gets round to finishing off our 2012 return.

Ahh right...I didn't even notice your visa. I guess it makes sense they would ask all about your job in a work visa interview. We run into so many oil and gas people around here and aren't even living on the west side in the energy corridor. They are everywhere and Exxon has their huge headquarters aka "Project Delta" going in on the north side. Welcome to Houston.

[Owen_London 65]

Ahh right...I didn't even notice your visa. I guess it makes sense they would ask all about your job in a work visa interview. We run into so many oil and gas people around here and aren't even living on the west side in the energy corridor. They are everywhere and Exxon has their huge headquarters aka "Project Delta" going in on the north side. Welcome to Houston.

Thanks very much. I've been here permanently for six months now, but I suspect my first visit here was before your husband, all the way back in August 2005.

And yes, we are all over the place. There are big clusters of oil companies downtown, in The Woodlands and Greenspoint as well as in the Energy Corridor, and there are consultancies, software companies and service companies everywhere.

Edited May 16, 2013 by Owen_London