Moving back to the US? Should we?

[Henia 11]

Salaam/ hello everyone!

So I don't usually get on the forum anymore. Many of you older members know me, the newer ones probably not. I'm Henia. I'm married to my Algerian husband. We have now 4 kids together. Quite happy so our "international marriage" did work out. I'm living here in Algeria but we did go through the immigration process some years back, but we decided to not use the visa and ended up staying here in ALgeria.

We're now thinking to move to the US.

My mom has cancer and is alone. Wouldn't be a good option for her to come here cos of the cancer.

I'm on the fence on what we should do. I have 4 kids, one of which is school aged whom I worry would struggle in school. Knows English but I think not as the level as her peers in the US.

My husband has a pretty job here in finance. I teach. We have a decent life here. I can't complain. But I'm sure if we were able to find job(s) in the US our standard of living would be better. Def be better in the long run for our children.

Been out of the US for over 7 years now so no domicile. Our options are open but we have "people" in Florida and California.

We'd starting again ... I'm 34 and my husband's 37. I think it would be hard for him to go from a managerial position to entry level. He'd do it for my mom, me and our kids ... but I'm questioning is it fair for me to ask this of him? I doubt he'll get off the plane and be able to get similar work. I'm wondering which are the best places in the US esp for finance? How long before either of us get decent paying jobs? If we're alone yeah itwouldn't be an issue ... but we have 4 kids + my mom ... Any thoughts? Advice? Should we even bother filing? Thanks!Have a blessed day!

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[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

Salam Henia

I don't have any useful advice. This is a very tough decision. Very sorry to hear about your mom.

But I just wanted to say it's nice to see you - and congrats on all those babies

Edited April 28, 2013 by wife_of_mahmoud

[Donna A 4]

Hi Henia....I remember you. I havent been on VJ for a very long time. Just came because I got an email about the new facelift so I came to see whats up. I dont have any answers to your questions but Congrats on all those babies.

[Peace.... 281]

Hi Henia,

I'm torn as to what advice to give you, as I believe deep in your heart, you have the answer. Personally speaking, there is nothing in this entire world that would have let my mother struggle through cancer alone much less die alone, should it come to that. Three years ago, my mother became very sick. I lived 8 hours away, but week after week for three months, I drove back and forth physically exhausted to take care of her until her final hours of life. I too have a daughter, had a busy life as well with her school and after school activities she was involved in. But as a daughter, I never had to think twice to be by her side. After her death, I felt a sense of peace, but never an ounce of guilt. I think the guilt is what most people live with after a death of a parent. Your always gonna ask yourself, why didn't I do this, why didn't I do that. This is why I can wake up every day and have beautiful loving memories of her.

I know your decision is based on living abroad, having four children, and leaving Algeria to move here. My suggestion would be have his family help with your children while you take a trip to visit your mother and let her know you love her and your there for her. Moving to the USA isn't probably the answer your looking for as the USA will always exist but your mother is alone and battling cancer which could take her life. Your life will be blessed for many years to come, don't miss this opportunity to visit your mother and give you that peace of mind you so deserve. After spending some mother and daughter time together, travel back home, sit with the family and have a heart to heart talk.

Take care...

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

Hi Henia,

I'm torn as to what advice to give you, as I believe deep in your heart, you have the answer. Personally speaking, there is nothing in this entire world that would have let my mother struggle through cancer alone much less die alone, should it come to that. Three years ago, my mother became very sick. I lived 8 hours away, but week after week for three months, I drove back and forth physically exhausted to take care of her until her final hours of life. I too have a daughter, had a busy life as well with her school and after school activities she was involved in. But as a daughter, I never had to think twice to be by her side. After her death, I felt a sense of peace, but never an ounce of guilt. I think the guilt is what most people live with after a death of a parent. Your always gonna ask yourself, why didn't I do this, why didn't I do that. This is why I can wake up every day and have beautiful loving memories of her.

I know your decision is based on living abroad, having four children, and leaving Algeria to move here. My suggestion would be have his family help with your children while you take a trip to visit your mother and let her know you love her and your there for her. Moving to the USA isn't probably the answer your looking for as the USA will always exist but your mother is alone and battling cancer which could take her life. Your life will be blessed for many years to come, don't miss this opportunity to visit your mother and give you that peace of mind you so deserve. After spending some mother and daughter time together, travel back home, sit with the family and have a heart to heart talk.

Take care...

^ This. I'm so sorry Henia to hear the news about your Mom. Big hugs!

[Henia 11]

Hello/ Salaam, Thank you everyone for the kind words and thoughts ... much appreciated!