Men and women accused of abuse, beneficiary now in VAWA

[John J 10]

I don't have experience with an immigrant scammer, but I do have experience with abuse. My first husband could put on a personality that would charm you to no end. For a period of time he could act like the best, most caring person in the world. My parents still prefer him over me, their natural child. It was only after you got to know him really well and saw him in bad situations that his true side began to come out. I remember how he charmed the court and got everything he wanted with his lies and stories but one day we were present while the attorneys were talking and he lost his temper and almost hit me. Immediately he regained his composure an became the charming man again. Another time he was giving testimony by phone and thought I was talking. He ripped the "female voice talking over me" a new a**hole because he thought it was me. It was the domestic relations commissioner and if he had been there in person it would have been straight to jail for him.

Moral of the story. you can think you know someone well but until you have seen them in a bad situation and how they react you don't really know them.

Your description of him coming across as charming is the classic hallmark of a sociopath. I could spot a sociopath from the moon, why professional people can't see through people like this is beyond me.

"Sociopaths can be very charismatic and friendly -- because they know it will help them get what they want. “They are expert con artists and always have a secret agenda,” "People are so amazed when they find that someone is a sociopath because they’re so amazingly effective at blending in. They’re masters of disguise. Their main tool to keep them from being discovered is a creation of an outer personality."

[verysadguy 170]

I believe my wife has borderline and she is very, very good at gaslighting.

Not to rock the boat but another idea is that any USC that brings a foreign spouse here and the spouse turns out to be a greencard scammer then the scammer goes home and the USC goes to jail. After all the USC brought the scammer here. That might be very harsh but it would probably change many things.

USC go to jail? Sorry, but you're an idiot. Victims of scams don't go to jail unless they commit a CRIME.

[John J 10]

USC go to jail? Sorry, but you're an idiot. Victims of scams don't go to jail unless they commit a CRIME.

The point is why make it more and more difficult for genuine victims of abuse to claim VAWA for the sake of people who get scammed. All it will do is make more abuse victims stay in abusive relationships and actually help abusers. Most abusers think they have their spouses head between a rock and a hard place, in many cases VAWA is their only hope.

A better way is for people who do get scammed is to warn and help others not to fall into the same cruel mess.

[tringuyen 11]

Very sad guy how do you really find out a VAWA claim is follows against you? I would love to know I have heard it is impossible to really know.

Very sad guy how do you really find out a VAWA claim is follows against you? I would love to know I have heard it is impossible to really know.

Hi Brian1967,

What's in the police report that will stop her vawa claim? I got a police report of her hitting me but she was not jailed. I hear as long as they're are not jailed, they still have good moral behavior.

[tringuyen 11]

Well for my wife they also said they could not talk about because to me. I guess that police report I gave to the fraud officer will stop any claims of abuse on her part, my immigrant spouse was labeled the aggressor here in Kansas. Even a i751 based on abuse will be tough.

Hi,

What is the in the police report that would stop her claims of abuse? Was she arrested?

I got a police report of her hitting me but she was not arrested. I gave this to USCIS.

[TBoneTX 43,549]

Brian hasn't logged on to VJ since July. The discussion in this thread is spread out over many months, but I see no reason why the thread should be closed for reasons of its age. Everyone should remain aware that various contributors might not be following the thread or particularly active on VJ.

[Villanelle 4,121]

Hi Brian1967,

What's in the police report that will stop her vawa claim? I got a police report of her hitting me but she was not jailed. I hear as long as they're are not jailed, they still have good moral behavior.

Brians case was complicated.

In his situation his wife was attempting to remove conditions (751) and filed it based on abuse when there was NONE.

One of the key parts of ROC (or any marriage process in USCIS actually) is making the statement of I entered this in good faith, and them feeling/believing you are honest.

Proving someone is a dishonest morally corrupt individual casts doubt on that statement and can cause them to be denied even if they have other proof. Its very hard to prove poor moral character. You have to realize they issue benefits for USCs that are IN JAIL. They approve cases under Adams law every single day. (child abuse/molestation). Its complicated but after looking at specific facts of a case- they can and do determine that they- they being convicted child molesters or people currently imprisoned, can make truthful statements about their intent.

SO if those above have a good enough character to pass- you better have some pretty damning evidence to send in to USCIS or dont even bother.

Certain things are automatic disqualifiers. One such is proving someone lied to authorities, lied to get a benefit from the gov etc- If you have that,well thats it. USCIS can totally discount everything you say. (Each case is different but they ususally do)

Brian had proof his wife did such. That she lied to the police and subsequently lied to try to obtain a restraining order.

The police were quite aware of all this as well but refused to go further. Why? Its complicated. Just like race is a hot button issue so is gender when it comes to DV. People like to read about the big mean man going to jail- not the tiny dainty wife.