Pressure and Guilt

[JoeKwa 8]

Good Morning,

My wife is from Colombia and applying for a CR1 visa. She has her interview scheduled for October 17th at 8:30am. With the expected date of her arrival fast approaching I find myself ridden with guilt and pressure. I must say that my wife works, a lot, and I have not seen her since July 18th and maybe spoken to her a total of 1 hour since I last saw her. When I do speak to her she says she is sad, and who could blame her? To be pulled away from everything and everyone you know and to go to a place you have never been must be mentally and emotionally exhausting. This is where the guilt and the pressure come into play. I feel tremendous guilt for baring the responsibility of taking her from her home. I feel tremendous pressure of knowing that I need to be a good man and a good husband. I know that I must be patient and understanding and I have done, and am doing, all that I know to make myself better and make myself sure. I miss my wife. I miss her smile and I miss her laugh and yet at moments like this I feel so bad. I even feel guilty for saying that I feel bad (If that makes any sense). I do not expect anyone to respond to this or even understand it. I just needed a moment to clear my head and get this off of my chest.

Thank You

Good Day and Good Luck.

Joe Kwa

[aws&ndd 103]

I totally understand you, I have fears that my fiancee will not like it here or will have a hard time adjusting. Or that I won't be able to do anything to make her comfortable. But I have told her that no matter what happens I love her and will always be there for her. If she doesn't like it here or finds it really hard, I told her I would move back to Colombia to be with her if it is what she really wanted. Because when you are in love, it doesn't matter where you live.

[jose_leti 7]

I totally understand you, I have fears that my fiancee will not like it here or will have a hard time adjusting. Or that I won't be able to do anything to make her comfortable. But I have told her that no matter what happens I love her and will always be there for her. If she doesn't like it here or finds it really hard, I told her I would move back to Colombia to be with her if it is what she really wanted. Because when you are in love, it doesn't matter where you live.

i can understand where your coming from, but you should use that guilt and turn it into a positive feeling by saying that you will give her a better life here then over there. once she gets here your guilt should go away. this process is the toughest on any relationship and truly tests every aspect of it. hang in there. just make sure you make her experience here the best possible one and create new positive memories for her.

[LA NEGRA 19]

Did you say that you have only talk to her for a total of an hour since july 18???? Wow!!!! Why would she want to come and live with you?.... There is no excuse for that!!!

[hamigirl710 112]

your sensitivity is very touching and I wish you both the best!

[Mononoke28 134]

I personally think you need to share your feelings with her so she knows that this is also affecting you as much as it is affecting her. It will show her that you care deeply about the decision she's made to be with you and that you're not taking it lightly. This will also help you get through the tough times ahead of you while she gets used to her new country and to this brand new way of life.

Good luck!

Diana