=((((((((( Fiance just found out he has cancer

[Buttons 0]

I'm no doctor but I work in the medical field. Let's just say he's in for a long recovery period. Mental , emotional and physical. The sooner you get there and reassure him that you'll be his ROCK and not to worry about the VISA"S right now he'll have one less stress to worry about. Let's just concentrate on his recovery.

Warm wishes,

[mozplay 28]

I've been following your thread and wanted to say that I was sorry for your situation. However, at least you both know that you have eachother to lean on through this trial. This too you shall overcome.

A couple of questions ...

If you decided to stay here and get married to see him through his treatment, then would DCF filing be an option when you wanted to return to the US? This may be a very naive question and I'm sorry if it has already been thought through.

Have the doctors told your fiance yet how long his treatment will be? The reason I ask, is that you may be able to go to Canada and take care of him through his treatments during the initial 6 months. He may be able to join you in the US after that where at least you will have your salary to help support the both of you. Not on the K1 - just as a visitor, that way he still has his rights to health care in Canada. I don't know where you are in the US, but it may be cheaper to fly him back and forth for his follow up appointments (or have him see a doctor there) than to try to support the both of you in Canada without your income.

Just one step at a time is all you can do at this point. Until you have a prognosis and a treatment plan, there is little you can plan.

Monique

Reba,

Let me ask this and for anyone else who might know. I would want to take my car if I was going to stay that long. It would be much easier for me to take him to and from his appts, as I don't understand the public transportations system and it would just be more comfortable for him anyway.

Lyric,

I don't know where your fiance will be undergoing treatment, but many facilities offer a 'shuttle service' if you will, from home right to the hospital. This is often a volunteer run service. May be worth investigating. May be an option for getting him back and forth to his treatments.

Mo

[Married_my_love 0]

If you decided to stay here and get married to see him through his treatment, then would DCF filing be an option when you wanted to return to the US? This may be a very naive question and I'm sorry if it has already been thought through.

They could dcf after she got PR

I just wanted to tell you also Lyric, when I came in, I drove in at Blue Water, with my car, and 2 suitcases, I brought SO MUCH stuff to prove I was going to go back (in case my PR was denied) and they didn't ask for any of it. I had my cat with me and I had to remind them that I was supposed to show paperwork for her. I told them I was visiting, but that I had my PR app pending, they let me right on thru. Diff situation, but I just wanted to say coming into canada I never had problems, it was always going back to my own country that I got hassled.

[laura428 0]

If you decided to stay here and get married to see him through his treatment, then would DCF filing be an option when you wanted to return to the US? This may be a very naive question and I'm sorry if it has already been thought through.

They could dcf after she got PR

Just a point of clarification... they could DCF one year after her PR status is approved.

Lyric, after reading some of the latter posts, and after experiencing healthcare in both countries, I would have to agree with keeping your fiance here in Canada for his care. It sounds like he's already near an excellent facility, would have far better coverage than here than in the US (if any in the US), and treatment could be immediate (rather than waiting to find someplace down there).

You mentioned that you didn't want to leave your employer hanging. But you know, I'm pretty sure they'd understand. They should agree to a leave of absence and can make adjustments to accomodate you. After all, they were there before you starting working there, and they'll be there if you're gone for a while, too.

Just focus on the two of you, and what needs to be done. And make sure to take care of yourself in the process, too. ((hugs))

[Lyric 0]

I know nothing about his treatment or what is going to happen at this point. I am hoping to find that out today, as I have to contact my congressman's office to explain everything that is happening, so that I can at least ask for an initial extention until we know more in the next couple of months.

I spoke with my employer today and told her what is happening and I'm taking the afternoon off to hopefully try and get some much needed questions answered. I'm going to need lots of luck with that. He's so upset and not feeling well, I'm just hoping I can somehow get info from his doctor so he doesn't have to deal with any of this. I want to do as much of it as I possibly can so that he doesn't have to worry about it. It's not fair to him in the least.

All I want is for him to get better. That's most important but me being with him is imperative. I have to make it work one way or another.

[mozplay 28]

If you decided to stay here and get married to see him through his treatment, then would DCF filing be an option when you wanted to return to the US? This may be a very naive question and I'm sorry if it has already been thought through.

They could dcf after she got PR

Just a point of clarification... they could DCF one year after her PR status is approved.

Thanks for the clarification. I knew I did not have all the information needed, but was trying to toss out options all the same.

Monique

[Buttons 0]

I know nothing about his treatment or what is going to happen at this point. I am hoping to find that out today, as I have to contact my congressman's office to explain everything that is happening, so that I can at least ask for an initial extention until we know more in the next couple of months.

I spoke with my employer today and told her what is happening and I'm taking the afternoon off to hopefully try and get some much needed questions answered. I'm going to need lots of luck with that. He's so upset and not feeling well, I'm just hoping I can somehow get info from his doctor so he doesn't have to deal with any of this. I want to do as much of it as I possibly can so that he doesn't have to worry about it. It's not fair to him in the least.

All I want is for him to get better. That's most important but me being with him is imperative. I have to make it work one way or another.

The Doctor can not give you info without his prior written consent or he needs to be in the room with you.

[Married_my_love 0]

Just a point of clarification... they could DCF one year after her PR status is approved.

just fyi, I was able to DCF 3 weeks after landing. I am not sure if the one year requirement is a rumor, but they did not bat an eye when I filed........

[Lyric 0]

I know nothing about his treatment or what is going to happen at this point. I am hoping to find that out today, as I have to contact my congressman's office to explain everything that is happening, so that I can at least ask for an initial extention until we know more in the next couple of months.

I spoke with my employer today and told her what is happening and I'm taking the afternoon off to hopefully try and get some much needed questions answered. I'm going to need lots of luck with that. He's so upset and not feeling well, I'm just hoping I can somehow get info from his doctor so he doesn't have to deal with any of this. I want to do as much of it as I possibly can so that he doesn't have to worry about it. It's not fair to him in the least.

All I want is for him to get better. That's most important but me being with him is imperative. I have to make it work one way or another.

The Doctor can not give you info without his prior written consent or he needs to be in the room with you.

Yes, I was 100% positive he'd need written consent. He's not even sure if she's in today. I'm just waiting now. I just came back to work because my hands are tied right now. I want to talk to her so I can get the FULL story and plus if he ends up in the hospital unexpectedly I need to have the right to be given information. I don't even know why they're taking so long to do anything for him. It's stressing me out beyond belief. Which is one of the many reasons I want to talk with her. sigh.

[ljs 1]

The Doctor can not give you info without his prior written consent or he needs to be in the room with you.

Yes, I was 100% positive he'd need written consent. He's not even sure if she's in today. I'm just waiting now. I just came back to work because my hands are tied right now. I want to talk to her so I can get the FULL story and plus if he ends up in the hospital unexpectedly I need to have the right to be given information. I don't even know why they're taking so long to do anything for him. It's stressing me out beyond belief. Which is one of the many reasons I want to talk with her. sigh.

Lyric,

It takes time to gather the information before treatment can begin...it just does

I didn't mention before but you may want to get married ASAP so you do have a say in what is happening, and what is done if he is unable to make decisions himself. If you do not get married, then talk to a lawyer to have papers drawn up to give you that right.

Linda

[JenT 0]

Lyric,

It takes time to gather the information before treatment can begin...it just does

I didn't mention before but you may want to get married ASAP so you do have a say in what is happening, and what is done if he is unable to make decisions himself. If you do not get married, then talk to a lawyer to have papers drawn up to give you that right.

Linda

Very good point, especially if he has no family...

[Lyric 0]

I feel completely helpless right now. I don't even know what to do. If it wasn't for health care in the United States being completely unaffordable this wouldn't be much of an issue. He'd come here and have everything done, but I don't see how that is even a remote possibility. After all the info I have received and seen.

[JenT 0]

Wait until you can speak with the doctor. She may be able to refer to to an agency that can help....

[Lady Amorika 0]

I feel completely helpless right now. I don't even know what to do. If it wasn't for health care in the United States being completely unaffordable this wouldn't be much of an issue. He'd come here and have everything done, but I don't see how that is even a remote possibility. After all the info I have received and seen.

I went through cancer treatment of all sorts in the past couple of years. I really suggest having your fiance stay in Canada. The Canadian Cancer Society helped me pay for EVERYTHING that I couldn't afford, being a university student. There were shuttles to take me back and forth, there were houses to stay in, and they helped me with everything.

I love my fiance dearly, and while he came here to be with me for each surgery, he couldn't stay. I know it'll be so hard on your SO if you need to come and go, but the cancer society will ensure he is in good hands. Hospital volunteers and local charity groups through the United Way will help. I'm tearing up thinking about all the help I got. Ultimately, I know you feel you NEED to be there, and if you can be, so be it. However, you can do just as much for him physically by checking in with organizations around him and see what they can do to help.

I know you feel so rushed, but you have some time. Make sure his health is taken care of with the assumption that the two of you simply can't be together. Then, when you can arrive, the situation will improve, instead of let-downs and worries. Make absolute certain that he doesn't need to worry about things because that will make him sicker. There are issues with you coming here, certainly, but everything can be overcome. Please keep in touch. PM me if you would like any insight on dealing with cancer in Ontario.

Also, on the marriage issue, is it not possible to simply go to Montreal and marry there, considering he would travel there for his interview anyhow and it's close to the Kingston Cancer Center? I'm not sure, but check out that option.

[Caladan 19]

No advice, just sympathy and good wishes.