Teacher arrested after sex with students for higher grades

[^_^ 5,021]

I'm 37 and not emotionally mature by any measure!

[justice15 0]

You claim to be one of the so-called 'victims' and now you're preaching like you're someone on a mission that wasn't directly involved. Seems somewhat fishy.

You have to remember, even as a teenager, you have choices to make. They may not always be the right choices (just as an adult) but they are still choices. The position of authority is never the only answer to the equation. There are many other factors that take place here as to why a student would agree to do such things with a teacher.

I am one of the victims. Its been 10 years so I can now discuss this in a concrete way. I am not "preaching like someone on a mission", but when this popped up on the google search and I saw the ignorant posts blaming the victims in these cases, I had to speak up. I have blamed myself for all these years for what happened to me. I still struggle with it. You talk about these situations like its two adults exchanging offers for sex..that is not the case at all when you are dealing with children! To say that there was a lack of emotional maturity and having been subjected to abuse is not the cause of the problems later in life is what I find to be quite insulting.

[^_^ 5,021]

I am one of the victims. Its been 10 years so I can now discuss this in a concrete way. I am not "preaching like someone on a mission", but when this popped up on the google search and I saw the ignorant posts blaming the victims in these cases, I had to speak up. I have blamed myself for all these years for what happened to me. I still struggle with it. You talk about these situations like its two adults exchanging offers for sex..that is not the case at all when you are dealing with children! To say that there was a lack of emotional maturity and having been subjected to abuse is not the cause of the problems later in life is what I find to be quite insulting.

You need to work on your sentence construction. I don't know if you've noticed, but VJ's P&R forum is full of emotionally mature adults composing only the finest sentences.

[justice15 0]

you cannot honestly argue that a 14 year old should have the same mental and emotional maturity as an adult. Females brains don't fully develop until they are 21-22. How can you place that level of responsibility on a child?

[JohnR! 5,495]

[quote name=' timestamp='1350321096' post='5757025]

You need to work on your sentence construction. I don't know if you've noticed, but VJ's P&R forum is full of emotionally mature adults composing only the finest sentences.

:rofl: :rofl:

[Penny Lane 8,159]

you cannot honestly argue that a 14 year old should have the same mental and emotional maturity as an adult. Females brains don't fully develop until they are 21-22. How can you place that level of responsibility on a child?

You are honestly wasting your time. Some people here are not worth arguing with. You're absolutely right, and you have completely logical comments, but you're expecting a payoff in the end and it's not going to come. They are set in their ways and will not agree with you. Being ridiculous and offensive is how they operate - at least on the internet. You don't have to justify yourself or defend your opinions to them. It isn't worth it. I promise.

[decocker 7,198]

To say that there was a lack of emotional maturity and having been subjected to abuse is not the cause of the problems later in life is what I find to be quite insulting.

don't let it insult you. there will always be people who subscribe to the 'boys will be boys' and 'she was asking for it' line of thinking. the only way their minds would be changed was if it were something to happen to their own daughter - which thankfully - i don't think the dudes in question have reproduced..

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Females brains don't fully develop until they are 21-22.

Isn't that about the time gravity begins to have a visible effect and women begin to lose their sexual appeal?

[Teddy B 17,251]

Isn't that about the time gravity begins to have a visible effect and women begin to lose their sexual appeal?

Quite the contrary in my book. I find women to be more beautiful with age. You must be swimming in the "shallow" end of the pool.

[JohnR! 5,495]

you cannot honestly argue that a 14 year old should have the same mental and emotional maturity as an adult. Females brains don't fully develop until they are 21-22. How can you place that level of responsibility on a child?

In the context of this thread, you can do that, if you enjoy a certain degree of psychopathy....

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Quite the contrary in my book. I find women to be more beautiful with age. You must be swimming in the "shallow" end of the pool.

Your wife reads your posts, doesn't she?

[Teddy B 17,251]

Your wife reads your posts, doesn't she?

You got me.

[Obama 2012 1,714]

This is your opinion and certainly not a factual observation. The standard for emotional maturity is lower at 15 than 18. For most.

Actually my background says otherwise if you would pay attention. (*cough* I happen to study human behavior *cough*)

With that being said, there'e an inherent difference in emotional maturity and maturity of logical thinking. Don't get the two confused as one does not necessarily reflect upon the other. Emotional maturity dictates reactions after an event in the way that you feel or a feeling while something in occurring, not the actions before it. Logical thinking maturity dictates being able to do the right thing or not based on how educated/mentally matured an individual is at a particular time in their life. Education 99% of the time is the key to this reaction, although there are plenty of cases in which some lack any type of logical reasoning skills even later in life. One does not always have anything to do with the other though when it comes to emotional maturity.

For example in this scenario:

A logically mature individual would turn down said advances, walk away, and tell a parent/other teacher, etc.. Now emotionally they may not be mature and might feel scared, frightened, and wonder if they did the right thing in telling on said person. Guilt could come along too if peers react badly to finding out the teacher got into trouble because of them. None of that means though that they are going to follow through and have sex with a teacher because they are told they are going to get a better grade.

[^_^ 5,021]

I happen to study human behavior

If you are going to use your 'background' to buttress your arguments, you should probably elaborate on it a bit. What work do you do, either professionally or on a volunteer basis, that uses your understanding of human behavior? What are your accomplishments in this field? Have you been published? If so, what was the title of your publication? And so on.

Note that saying you like to hang out at the airport and people-watch doesn't count.

[Obama 2012 1,714]

I am one of the victims. Its been 10 years so I can now discuss this in a concrete way. I am not "preaching like someone on a mission", but when this popped up on the google search and I saw the ignorant posts blaming the victims in these cases, I had to speak up. I have blamed myself for all these years for what happened to me. I still struggle with it. You talk about these situations like its two adults exchanging offers for sex..that is not the case at all when you are dealing with children! To say that there was a lack of emotional maturity and having been subjected to abuse is not the cause of the problems later in life is what I find to be quite insulting.

You might find it insulting, but in life the best thing you can do is 'get over it.'

One can control one's emotions if they truly want to in MOST cases. Do you know how many children are molested througout their childhood and turn out to be normal? Around 85% of them if you want to throw a number at it. Now define abnormal? A small percentage end up being child molestors themselves. Another percentage have a hard time maintaining a stable relationship. Another sector of that is afraid to ever touch another human being. The rest have various mental issues/some violent, some not. It's hardly anywhere near the majority though that some would like to lead society into believing. The interesting part being, is of those who do end up with mental/emotional problems later in life, most of them would have had some sort of emotional/mental issue anyway, but they now have an 'excuse' for it.

Many have skeletons in their closet that no one will ever know about because they have the emotional maturity to handle things and then move on. Life goes on, if you have the will power to let it.