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duriantaste

step son question

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FINALLY, FB (funny boy) came from the Philippines. He is home with us. About him: He is 7 years old. I am not the biological father. His bio pop is not on his birth certificate.

Q: Can I adopt him with little problem? I want him to carry my last name. His mom is fine with it.

Q: will it requires a lawyer?

Hope some one can helps.

=================================================================================================================================

Let me get back and play with him. I am sure he will make me laugh. :rofl:

Yesterday, he woke 5am, came to our bedroom, and told his mom he was hungry. I though he was going to say he wanted cereal or milk. No :no:

He wanted rice, eggs, and hot chocolate :rofl:

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No reason you can't adopt him, his mother is the sole person to control that.

I think with an adoption I would use a lawyer.

:rofl: - doubt he even knows what cereal is. Breakfast today was dried fish, rice, and some sausage.

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Rice and dried fish or langanisa... the breakfast staple.

I adopted my step son. I did it with a lawyer for $1,000 plus fees, a total under $1,200. There are lawyers who specialize it in and don't charge much, because it is seen as a "good thing to do".

In my case we had the bio father sign off on parenting rights. It was simple for us because my ex was already heading back to phils anyway. Otherwise you will need to advertise in your local paper for a period of time. Not a big deal, but getting the signature is preferable as it totally takes away any concerns forever.

I would use a lawyer again. Just to make sure you do it right, and don't leave any question about who the legal parent is.

My two cents.

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Rice and dried fish or langanisa... the breakfast staple.

I adopted my step son. I did it with a lawyer for $1,000 plus fees, a total under $1,200. There are lawyers who specialize it in and don't charge much, because it is seen as a "good thing to do".

In my case we had the bio father sign off on parenting rights. It was simple for us because my ex was already heading back to phils anyway. Otherwise you will need to advertise in your local paper for a period of time. Not a big deal, but getting the signature is preferable as it totally takes away any concerns forever.

I would use a lawyer again. Just to make sure you do it right, and don't leave any question about who the legal parent is.

My two cents.

I'm in the same situation, my step daughter has n/a on her birth certificate where the father's name is suppose to be, bio father left when she was 5 months pregnant and never came back and has not been in touch with his daughter at all since then, she was born 2008.

I plan to adopt her when I get visa's for my wife and the step-daughter. So I take it we have to advertise in the paper about her pending adoption before we go to the US? What happens if we do not advertise?


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Rice and dried fish or langanisa... the breakfast staple.

I adopted my step son. I did it with a lawyer for $1,000 plus fees, a total under $1,200. There are lawyers who specialize it in and don't charge much, because it is seen as a "good thing to do".

In my case we had the bio father sign off on parenting rights. It was simple for us because my ex was already heading back to phils anyway. Otherwise you will need to advertise in your local paper for a period of time. Not a big deal, but getting the signature is preferable as it totally takes away any concerns forever.

I would use a lawyer again. Just to make sure you do it right, and don't leave any question about who the legal parent is.

My two cents.

Thank you very much. You have no idea how much appreciate your post. The price is very reasonable. I thought it around $10,000+ dollars.

I So I take it we have to advertise in the paper about her pending adoption before we go to the US? What happens if we do not advertise?

I did not know that!

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No. You advertise in the local paper where you live. I know, he will never read it, but it's the legal requirement. You don't post in the foreign country. Doesn't make much sense in terms of adopting a foreign born child, but that's the way it works.

So don't worry about doing anything now. Get the visas done, get home, get settled, get married, be happy. The adoption doesn't need to happen the first day. Then later, when you are ready and things are settled down, talk to a local family attorney (one specializing in adoption would be ideal) and they will work it out for you. IF you can talk to an attorney now, they could possibly get a letter prepared for you on retainer if you want to go the route of getting the bio father's signature. If that's not an option you will pursue, then there's nothing you need to do in Phils.

Just as an FYI though, I would like to show the adoption of my son in the Philippines, but doing so is much more expensive and would require (I believe, based on 1 Phil lawyer's comment) that I reside in Phils for some period of time. So it's not something I plan to do right away, which means he has different last names on his Philippines and US passports. I expect he will only use his US passport from now on anyway.

Side comment, I am now divorced from his mother and he and his younger half-brother (our joint biological child) live with me. When his mother walked out she left him with me, which was perfect for me. Now she wants them back, but since he was adopted by me I have all the rights and responsibilities that I would have if he was born mine. She can't easily take him away (thank god) but if she does I get to pay child support (which wouldn't be a problem if it came to that because he is MY son). I would always recommend getting married and settled for awhile before adopting. I would pray that your relationship is all that you would hope, and I would never go into it in half measures, but since time is not an issue at all, be totally sure everything is what you would expect before signing up. I told my ex before the adoption that it might impact us both: in the event we ever divorced (which I did NOT foresee at the time) she wouldn't be able to "take him away" from me, but if we divorced and he lived with her it would cost me many hundreds of dollars per month. Both she and I laid something on the table.

I am working on a visa for my new fiancee now. No kids involved on her side, but one of the things that attracted me to her was how her eyes light up whenever she sees my kids. My boys are 7 and 5, and being a good loving step-mom was the number one requirement for me. So far it looks like I've found the perfect one.

If I'm unclear on anything, please don't hesitate to message me. I would hate to have given out bad or unclear advice on this sensitive and critical issue.

Edited by Grant n Karleen

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...I adopted my step son. I did it with a lawyer for $1,000 plus fees, a total under $1,200. There are lawyers who specialize it in and don't charge much, because it is seen as a "good thing to do"...

That is a very good price! I've looked around online and everything I've seen says $5,000 to $10,000. Awesome that you got it done for a reasonable cost. Gives us hope.


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I've heard that it is fairly common to have lawyers who do it for a fairly low price because it is seen as a public good. Not everyone will do it for a low price, but many will if it is fairly straightforward, which our are because they are totally uncontested.

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No. You advertise in the local paper where you live. I know, he will never read it, but it's the legal requirement. You don't post in the foreign country. Doesn't make much sense in terms of adopting a foreign born child, but that's the way it works.

So don't worry about doing anything now. Get the visas done, get home, get settled, get married, be happy. The adoption doesn't need to happen the first day. Then later, when you are ready and things are settled down, talk to a local family attorney (one specializing in adoption would be ideal) and they will work it out for you. IF you can talk to an attorney now, they could possibly get a letter prepared for you on retainer if you want to go the route of getting the bio father's signature. If that's not an option you will pursue, then there's nothing you need to do in Phils.

Just as an FYI though, I would like to show the adoption of my son in the Philippines, but doing so is much more expensive and would require (I believe, based on 1 Phil lawyer's comment) that I reside in Phils for some period of time. So it's not something I plan to do right away, which means he has different last names on his Philippines and US passports. I expect he will only use his US passport from now on anyway.

Side comment, I am now divorced from his mother and he and his younger half-brother (our joint biological child) live with me. When his mother walked out she left him with me, which was perfect for me. Now she wants them back, but since he was adopted by me I have all the rights and responsibilities that I would have if he was born mine. She can't easily take him away (thank god) but if she does I get to pay child support (which wouldn't be a problem if it came to that because he is MY son). I would always recommend getting married and settled for awhile before adopting. I would pray that your relationship is all that you would hope, and I would never go into it in half measures, but since time is not an issue at all, be totally sure everything is what you would expect before signing up. I told my ex before the adoption that it might impact us both: in the event we ever divorced (which I did NOT foresee at the time) she wouldn't be able to "take him away" from me, but if we divorced and he lived with her it would cost me many hundreds of dollars per month. Both she and I laid something on the table.

I am working on a visa for my new fiancee now. No kids involved on her side, but one of the things that attracted me to her was how her eyes light up whenever she sees my kids. My boys are 7 and 5, and being a good loving step-mom was the number one requirement for me. So far it looks like I've found the perfect one.

If I'm unclear on anything, please don't hesitate to message me. I would hate to have given out bad or unclear advice on this sensitive and critical issue.

In my case the BIO POP is not on the BC. Do we still need to post an Ad?

That is a very good price! I've looked around online and everything I've seen says $5,000 to $10,000. Awesome that you got it done for a reasonable cost. Gives us hope.

That is what I thought$5,000 to $10,000.

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FINALLY, FB (funny boy) came from the Philippines. He is home with us. About him: He is 7 years old. I am not the biological father. His bio pop is not on his birth certificate.

Q: Can I adopt him with little problem? I want him to carry my last name. His mom is fine with it.

Q: will it requires a lawyer?

Hope some one can helps.

=================================================================================================================================

Let me get back and play with him. I am sure he will make me laugh. :rofl:

Yesterday, he woke 5am, came to our bedroom, and told his mom he was hungry. I though he was going to say he wanted cereal or milk. No :no:

He wanted rice, eggs, and hot chocolate :rofl:

You are very blessed to have this young man and be his father and the man he will depend on all his life. Do not let him down and you will be a happy man also.

Adoption is a state issue and varies in complication though what you are doing is probably the easiest method. You may or may not need an attorney. Google "adoption (state)" and go from there or see a fmaily law attorney if you feel better about that.

Good luck and congratualtions.


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