Need filipina Advice

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Hmmm... Really? That's all you can come up with? You label and defame a fellow Filipina with only the OP's side of the story to justify your verdict. Do ya need a noose and gallows to make yourself feel better?

Amazing, isn't it? "Some of them are so bad, they will do anything to come to America, but not me? Right beybi ko?"

[Caryh 5,206]

How exactly should he "send her back"? Balikbayan Box? Are you able to be "sent back" at your spouse's discretion?

My wife is small enough to fit in one

Don't think I'd survive trying to put her in the box though

If its a K1 and they haven't married and/or adjusted status, then giving her a return ticket is an option. Would you rather he just boot her out of the house and left it up to her to find a way back? She can't legally stay without getting married and adjusting status, which she can't do without a sponsor. Sounds to me like she isn't adjusting well and has a lot of issues to work through yet. The husband can help or hinder that process. And if he can't be a help in the process, they may be doomed.

[moonandsun 16]

I brought a girl here who I love very much and love her family on a k-1 Visa. But she seems to always have a negative attitude since she has gotten here. Everything is about her. All I here is me me me I I I. She seems to think the world revolves around her and that everyone else is her to serve her. My family has been very nice and loving and accepting to her, But in return she is very rude and ungrateful to everything. I have helped her family so much and done so much for her and now I am full of sadness and regret. Her family is so nice and very grateful, they advise her all the time to not be jealous and to be nice and try to listen to me and do what I advise her since she is much younger.

There are many good times but then more and more these times that just pop up with her having a bad attitude and is rude to my family. She says things like no one likes her she misses her family that my family is not her family that I don't love her and care about her. I just don't understand how she could ever say this or think it after all I have done for her and her family and my family has done for her. She just wants to get up eat, play on Facebook games talk to her friends take long naps eat again and sleep. Between going to Disney and all the other fun things we have done for her. She has bad attitude about cleaning or doing anything to help out. She does not want to better her English or study in college. Which was all agreed to before moving to the USA.

I just don't know what to do. I feel so heart broken. I don't know how I managed to fall in love with the only Filipina who refuses to do anything by herself and does not want to do anything to better her life or to even help be in a partnership in marriage. I just wish she could take her family's advice and things would be so much better. I had to take off time from work to go to manila to bring her home because she could not even do her medical and interview or anything on her own. Everyone has had to do everything for her. When I was in the Philippines I felt she loved me and I was so happy and did not mind doing so many extra things for her and her family. But now it has taken a toll and when she is rude to my family I just feel hurt and regret.

I am desperate for any advice if there is anything that can be done to fix this, at times she acts very happy and loving and just says everything is a big misunderstanding and I do not understand her. But she either does not understand how much she hurts be or does not care when she acts this way. At this point I am very close to giving up and sending her back to the Philippines.

You could always drop her off in Mexico! Just joking everyone! But it is an option. Really, just a joke.

Edited April 24, 2012 by moonandsun

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

nm

Edited April 24, 2012 by ~happyndinlove~

[Ban Hammer 13,113]

one post containing a derogatory term towards another poster removed, along with one quoting.

further jabs will result in a time out of at least 24 hours.

[duriantaste 44]

You could always drop her off in Mexico! Just joking everyone! But it is an option. Really, just a joke.

Man, you are rude. Sorry to say that.

[gretchen_darren 67]

one post containing a derogatory term towards another poster removed, along with one quoting.

further jabs will result in a time out of at least 24 hours.

at least it isn't an hour per year....

[John&Juvy 36]

Hmmm... Really? That's all you can come up with? You label and defame a fellow Filipina with only the OP's side of the story to justify your verdict. Do ya need a noose and gallows to make yourself feel better?

lol I'm thinking the same thing about her comment...

[PaulnUsa 19]

Wow, I just finished reading all the responses. Sorry I had not updated this post. I really never thought it would get so many responses. I checked after first couple of days and most were from other husbands saying to send her back. What I was looking for was true Filipina opinions.

Sorry to say the reason I had not responded or had time to read the post was because things got much worse before it got better. Find out the hard way that she actually had some very server mental issues which really escalated out of control. But we were able to identify that she was not just being spoiled but had some real medical and mental issues going on. Although clearly a little spoiled also, but we were able to get her some help and she is on some medication that helps regulate her moods a little better now and things are going quite well.

Dealing with some issues of her not telling me she had these problems before I guess she and her family thought it was something she had grown out of but then with the stress of coming to a new country she started having panic attacks and then things just really went downhill. At this point I am not 100% sure what my decision will be, we still are not married. To all those who wish to know her age it is 19. Right now focused on getting her the help she needs and working on our relationship.

Thanks for everyone responses, some very good others not so much, some very entertaining to read.

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

lazy filipina...

no consience,she doesnt know how to appreciates what you did for her and her family.

lazy and spoiled Filipina . .

oh boy how self centered pinay she is lol im a pinay too but for god sake she should know how to give back to all what you've done for her my graciousssss.... but then again try to fix things and talk to her about all of these then if nothings happen you have no choice but to put her back where she is belong, good luck man!

don't waste your time ,,Send her back home to the Philippines,,!! you deserve to be happy those people doing like that it such a big idiot,,sorry to say that,,!!!

she don't understand the meaning of married couple:-( just playing around.

It is self-righteous and arrogant to vilify someone before hearing their side of the story. Why would throw one of your own under the bus so quickly? Do you know her?

Bullseye sweetheart.

Edited May 2, 2012 by Crashed~N2~Me

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

But we were able to identify that she was not just being spoiled but had some real medical and mental issues going on.

tsk tsk tsk...

Some VJ's should...

and then...

otherwise...some might find...

and a...

so how about (sometimes)...just sit back and enjoy a...

Edited May 2, 2012 by Crashed~N2~Me

[Philwithlove 17]

Wow, I just finished reading all the responses. Sorry I had not updated this post. I really never thought it would get so many responses. I checked after first couple of days and most were from other husbands saying to send her back. What I was looking for was true Filipina opinions.

Sorry to say the reason I had not responded or had time to read the post was because things got much worse before it got better. Find out the hard way that she actually had some very server mental issues which really escalated out of control. But we were able to identify that she was not just being spoiled but had some real medical and mental issues going on. Although clearly a little spoiled also, but we were able to get her some help and she is on some medication that helps regulate her moods a little better now and things are going quite well.

Dealing with some issues of her not telling me she had these problems before I guess she and her family thought it was something she had grown out of but then with the stress of coming to a new country she started having panic attacks and then things just really went downhill. At this point I am not 100% sure what my decision will be, we still are not married. To all those who wish to know her age it is 19. Right now focused on getting her the help she needs and working on our relationship.

Thanks for everyone responses, some very good others not so much, some very entertaining to read.

I'm confused coz you said here that "...we still are not married" when you posted weeks or month ago that your "wife" just recently filed AOS and asking advice how her sister will be able to go to US coz she wants to study here. I guessed i read it wrong..

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

Bullseye sweetheart.

Thanks Honey.

Edited May 2, 2012 by ~happyndinlove~

[Bayareaguy 156]

Well, even given the updated facts, my post still stands.

And time is running out for the decision...a few more weeks left?

[fil01 16]

her not telling me she had these problems before

her not saying anything about "past" severe mental or medical problems would be big problem for me. that's not honest.