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duriantaste

I made my wife of 5 months cry.

By duriantaste in Philippines

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together4evr
together4evr

I think what you did was a passive aggressive action that embraces your need for control over this poor woman. I cannot imagine what she must have felt. I believe your approach is self-rightous, arrog

thinkerlove0212
thinkerlove0212

sounds like a cruel joke that made her worry

~happyndinlove~
~happyndinlove~

Passive aggressive?.... Junior?.... Junior behave passive aggressively? and controlling? As in... manipulative kind of controlling? Would Junior act out in a controlling manipulative passive agg

Kajikit Proficient

Kajikit   65

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Australia
 Timeline
Posted

Make nice and make up! It's normal to have disagreements with your spouse... apologise profusely, whether it was 'your fault' or not.

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together4evr Experienced

together4evr   360

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Egypt
 Timeline
Posted

Please remember that the foreigner is probably most homesick during the holiday season and we have to be extra sensitive to this. They left everything the knew and every comfort and family occassion to be with us. So, I am sure holidays are very painful to them. They are happy to be with you but lonely for the comfort of familiarity and family.

Let her know you are sorry that you were not more sensitive to her needs. Do not say she is sensitive---that just will make us more upset.

Good Luck

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Kevin&Lenith Explorer

Kevin&Lenith   36

Posted
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted

Well you certainly have to be more sensitive to the fact that she is new here, but it may not have anything to do with the fact she is Filipina. It could have everything to do with what "you" did, so kinda hard to give advise (not that I would have the right answer anyway), not knowing what you said or did to get her to cry. That info might help :)

Crashed~N2~Me Proficient

Crashed~N2~Me   970

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted (edited)

The whole thing happened because of Christmas :( I didn't know Filipinas were this sensitive :(

Welcome back Junior. Couldn't reactivate the old profile? :hehe:

I thought you said..if she is sad or homesick...means... she isn't happy with the one she's with. :wacko:

Gonna start shopping flights to Fili? :hehe:

Edited by Crashed~N2~Me
~happyndinlove~ Experienced

~happyndinlove~   540

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted

Welcome back Junior. Couldn't reactivate the old profile? :hehe:

I thought you said..if she is sad or homesick...means... she isn't happy with the one she's with. :wacko:

Gonna start shopping flights to Fili? :hehe:

What a coincidence.... "Angelforever07" is online. :whistle:

Immigration Timeline Summary

10.21.2008 – CR-1 Visa Application Filed (By Hubby's Sec)
09.04.2009 – Visa Interview | Passed
09.10.2009 – Visa Packet Received
09.17.2009 – US Entry | Home
07.05.2011 – ROC Petition Filed
05.01.2012 – ROC Approved (No Interview)
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06.19.2012 – Eligible to apply for Naturalization (procrastinated)
06.24.2013 – N-400 Application Filed
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04.17.2014 – US Passport Received

Our timeline vanished into thin air.

I've contacted the admin several times but I got zero response.

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Ron and Rhea Community Regular

Ron and Rhea   42

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted (edited)

My friend, as you may know men and women are totally wired differently....there is a good book, 'His needs, her needs'...worth the time to read or listen to. I know the Filipina very well, lol...it can be tough, but worth it.

Throw in the fact she is from another country, a Filipina to complicate it even more so, lol, its the holidays, and she has only been here for 5 months, well you have a potential emotional roller coaster ride for her, and she appears to be on it. Culture can be a big factor as well, is she from someplace like Manila, or the barrio?

YOU have to find out the reason for her crying, I mean really find out, deep in her heart and in doing so, you will expose your heart during the process...this act in itself could help.

Approach her with love, kindness and calmness....was it a one time event, or is it a feeling she has often, being sad? YOU have to help her find her balance, her center and find calmness in her life...

Much love.

Edited by Ron & Diana
Hank_ Grand Master

Hank_   9,174

Posted
Filed: Other Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted (edited)

As Ron said men and women are wired different, just a reality.

A_Little_Difference_Between_Men_and_Women.jpg

I look at Christmas in a much different way than Amy but I am very aware of her feelings and nurture them as well... part of the job, even long distance.

Buy flowers and not just a bunch of roses, but FLOWERS, there is no right or wrong to admit just "differences", apologize for not understanding her feelings and mean it! Then sit down and let her talk (and actually listen), don't interrupt or try to inject your thoughts just let her talk, if you are still not understanding her feelings ask questions that are not sounding confrontational.

Learn two things: Acceptance & Respect. Each of you acceptance the differences of the other and respect them completely.

And of course hold her when she cries.

**

Dang I bet you never ask for advice again!! :whistle:

Edited by Hank_Amy

Hank

"Chance Favors The Prepared Mind"

 

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“LET’S GO BRANDON!”

southcalhog Proficient

southcalhog   43

Posted
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted (edited)

As Ron said men and women are wired different, just a reality.

A_Little_Difference_Between_Men_and_Women.jpg

I look at Christmas in a much different way than Amy but I am very aware of her feelings and nurture them as well... part of the job, even long distance.

Buy flowers and not just a bunch of roses, but FLOWERS, there is no right or wrong to admit just "differences", apologize for not understanding her feelings and mean it! Then sit down and let her talk (and actually listen), don't interrupt or try to inject your thoughts just let her talk, if you are still not understanding her feelings ask questions that are not sounding confrontational.

Learn two things: Acceptance & Respect. Each of you acceptance the differences of the other and respect them completely.

And of course hold her when she cries.

**

Dang I bet you never ask for advice again!! :whistle:

I Agree what Ron said also, and 2nded by "Hank". Men and Women are different, You have to realize that and make adjustments accordingly! Like Hank says, "Acceptance and Respect"! "HEAR-HEAR"!!!!! :thumbs:

Edited by southcalhog

Sent NOA1 April 30th 2011

received May 2nd 2011

NOA1 Notice Date:May 4th 2011

NOA 2 txt/ email on july 18th 2011

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Personal issue in the Philippines

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Marriage September 7th 2012 at San Bernardino County Hall of Records

Preparing for AOS

"I Wholly disapprove of what you say, But I will defend to the death, Your RIGHT to say it"

" _ Volitaire- "

sweetpink Community Regular

sweetpink   1

Posted
Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted

The whole thing happened because of Christmas :( I didn't know Filipinas were this sensitive :(

I've been here in the US for 4 1/2 years and YES I do still miss my family in the Philippines (Cebu) a lot specially during Christmas and New Year but I would say I have adjusted very well because of the help of my husband, his family, my 2 year old son and having a job is also a big help for me coz it keeps me busy.

Also, I could agree more of what togetherforever13 has said.

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