Anyone moved to US WITHOUT American spouse?

[Miss M 54]

My husband is American and we have 2 young children together. We currently live in South Africa and plan on moving to the US within the next few weeks. Unfortunately, my husband's job requires a lot of travel - mostly to Asia and the Middle East, and he is likely to be gone every 2 - 3 weeks, for 4 weeks at a time. We have lived like this for 8 years but it hasn't been hard as I was close enough to home and everything I find familiar, for it not to matter too much. But I worry about what it will be like for me to have settle myself and our small kids, largely on my own. I am not sure that my husband completely 'gets' what this entails/means for me, but with each passing day, I am becoming more and more worried and less excited about our move. Anyone here had to do anything similar? How did you cope? Has life in the US been worth the move, emotionally?

[2 N 1 for life 3]

My husband is American and we have 2 young children together. We currently live in South Africa and plan on moving to the US within the next few weeks. Unfortunately, my husband's job requires a lot of travel - mostly to Asia and the Middle East, and he is likely to be gone every 2 - 3 weeks, for 4 weeks at a time. We have lived like this for 8 years but it hasn't been hard as I was close enough to home and everything I find familiar, for it not to matter too much. But I worry about what it will be like for me to have settle myself and our small kids, largely on my own. I am not sure that my husband completely 'gets' what this entails/means for me, but with each passing day, I am becoming more and more worried and less excited about our move. Anyone here had to do anything similar? How did you cope? Has life in the US been worth the move, emotionally?

My husband travels alot with his work... in two weeks he will be relocating with me here in the states... I wonder how he will adjust?! but my husband seems to adapt any where... I hope you and your husband come to a happy medium and it all works out well for you both... If I had to relocate I probably wouldn't do so well... our children are young and I'm very close to my mother.

[Miss M 54]

Thanks Sunshine. I am sure I will adjust well - eventually, but am really very worried about those first few weeks and months alone, with no family of my own close by

[Gosia & Tito 199]

quote name='MNyarai' timestamp='1323713081' post='5050566']

My husband is American and we have 2 young children together. We currently live in South Africa and plan on moving to the US within the next few weeks. Unfortunately, my husband's job requires a lot of travel - mostly to Asia and the Middle East, and he is likely to be gone every 2 - 3 weeks, for 4 weeks at a time. We have lived like this for 8 years but it hasn't been hard as I was close enough to home and everything I find familiar, for it not to matter too much. But I worry about what it will be like for me to have settle myself and our small kids, largely on my own. I am not sure that my husband completely 'gets' what this entails/means for me, but with each passing day, I am becoming more and more worried and less excited about our move. Anyone here had to do anything similar? How did you cope? Has life in the US been worth the move, emotionally?

It is quite normal to have aprehensions and nervousness. The good news ia that there are some many people coming form other sides of the World in the US, that it is very likely you would find connationals and/or an area that would be more 'normal' and familiar to you. The bad news is that -personal experience- some people can adapt easily (I guess your husband is, I know I am), some people have some difficulties and some people never adapt. In any case, it would take a minimum of a year to feel more "at home", in my opinion. Being on your own does not make things easier, but it is very likely the company your husband works for has direct support for this kind of situations.

Do your research about possible places to live in the US. I'd assume proximity to a large city and/or international airport is a must, but you need to define what are the factors to determine where to live. 2 weeks is not a lot of time, so I also would think many of those things have been defined/decided?

Best to do is to as soon as possible, 'normalize' life, that is, find where you get groceries, where you get house items, familiriaze with the area and perhaps plan on taking long weekend trips with family on the weekends husband is not home; that worked for my wife, it made her feel there was still a "vacation" component to her move and made the transition easier. She still is adapting and it will take some time.

Hope it all goes well

[2 N 1 for life 3]

Thanks Sunshine. I am sure I will adjust well - eventually, but am really very worried about those first few weeks and months alone, with no family of my own close by

Ur welcome I pray God gives you peace of mind and comfort in ur adjustment... I guess I was so excited abt my hubby's visa approval that I haven't really thought abt him having to adjust... I just assumed he will do well since he travels alot with his job and never complains... Try not to worry I know its not easy though...

[Miss M 54]

Gosia and Tito, thank you for your encouraging words. We are moving to San Francisco, and I am generally a very adaptable person (I even lived in Kabul, Afgh. for a while) but I just feel apprehensive about being all on my own. I am sure that I will be fine, and that within a few months I'll be settled. Thank you.

Sunshine39 - Thanks again. At least your husband will have you by his side so I am sure he will be fine. I guess the most important thing is support, whether it's from a spouse, a community, friends etc.