RUBbette Wives & Housework, si man

[james&olya 1,121]

Fortunately, Mrs. T-B. is a pretty good driver. She did take the driver's-side mirror off while backing out of the garage, but our Salvadorean mechanic replaced it for $101 walk-out price. However, Mrs. T-B. back-seat-drives when I'm driving, which risks more danger than does the way I drive.

Mrs. T-B.: Slow down! The limit is 65, and you're going 80!

T-B.: Everyone ELSE is also going 80. This is the safest speed.

Mrs. T-B.: You're going to kill us! Slow DOWN!

T-B.: Will you please shut up? You're making me nervous.

Mrs. T-B.: I will NOT shut up, and you SLOW DOWN!

T-B.: Making me nervous is a greater danger than matching the prevailing speed of everyone else!

Mrs. T-B.: Remind me never, EVER to drive with you again.

T-B.: There's no need for that. Just silencio, por favor! [be quiet, please]

Mrs. T-B.: I will NOT shut up! You SLOW DOWN!

T-B.: No jodes [quit nagging]

Mrs. T-B.: That's it! I will NEVER drive with you again!

Mini-Bone: Uh-oh.

Any problems with RUBbettes and speed limits, huh man?

Olga already had her license in Russia and was a reasonably good driver. She was afraid driving an automatic transmission car would be difficult but she has managed somehow. I have had much better luck with my fast driving being tolerated by my Russian wife than I ever had with any American women I was with. In fact, the only aggressive and fast (and sober) driver that ever scared me to ride with was a Ukrainian woman I met before I met Olga. Ksusha truly did drive like the proverbial 'bat out of hell'! FSU women can be very fast!

[TBoneTX 48,131]

FSU women can be very fast!

Let's hear it for fast women, whee man.

On Mrs. T-B.'s last trip back to Ecuador, she tried to drive her #2 sister's car and nearly stripped the gears, when she could even get the thing INTO gear. It apparently wasn't like riding a bicycle, no man. Probably 99.44% or more of all vehicles in Ecu have manual transmissions, si man, because of the mountainous terrain in so many places.

[james&olya 1,121]

Let's hear it for fast women, whee man.

On Mrs. T-B.'s last trip back to Ecuador, she tried to drive her #2 sister's car and nearly stripped the gears, when she could even get the thing INTO gear. It apparently wasn't like riding a bicycle, no man. Probably 99.44% or more of all vehicles in Ecu have manual transmissions, si man, because of the mountainous terrain in so many places.

Same thing here, Olya tried to drive my vehicle, a 3/4 ton heavy duty diesel pick-up with a 6-spd manual transmission. In spite of having 10 years experience driving ONLY with a manual, she has already forgotten how to use the clutch and gear shift!

[Brad and Vika 129]

Any problems with RUBbettes and speed limits, huh man?

Since Vika had the baby she is super nervous on the road. Lots of hysterical gasping and twitching around. It does earn the occasional "will you please relax?", and does drive me crazy.

[Gary and Alla 3,696]

Same thing here, Olya tried to drive my vehicle, a 3/4 ton heavy duty diesel pick-up with a 6-spd manual transmission. In spite of having 10 years experience driving ONLY with a manual, she has already forgotten how to use the clutch and gear shift!

My truck is a 5 speed and Alla does not drive it. She tried and determined that "I probably should not try to drive AND shift, since it means I will not do either very well" She loves her little Toyota Yaris, it drives like a go cart and she can whip it into any paralell parking spot as easy as pie.

[TBoneTX 48,131]

Since Vika had the baby she is super nervous on the road. Lots of hysterical gasping and twitching around. It does earn the occasional "will you please relax?", and does drive me crazy.

Never underestimate the maternal instinct, no man.

She loves her little Toyota Yaris, it drives like a go cart and she can whip it into any paralell parking spot as easy as pie.

And it's a self-propelled closet, see man.

[TBoneTX 48,131]

Memo to Mrs. T-B.:

When drying clothes, PLEASE first remove the candy bars from the top of the dryer, sigh man.

[baron555 934]

The original plan was to have a "small" car (Chevy Malibu) for Alla since she was sure she couldn't drive the big car (Jeep Cherokee).

She forces me to drive the small car everyday to work (since it gets better gas mileage) and has come to love the commanding view of the road the large car offers.

She drives like an old lady on Sundays though.

[ONA 133]

She loves her little Toyota Yaris, it drives like a go cart and she can whip it into any paralell parking spot as easy as pie.

LOL

I drive a Yaris too, my husband keeps joking that if I ever can't find a parking space, I should just put the car into my purse

[Gary and Alla 3,696]

LOL

I drive a Yaris too, my husband keeps joking that if I ever can't find a parking space, I should just put the car into my purse

WAIT! I thought the Yaris WAS a purse!!!!!!!!!

I am rarely allowed to drive the self-propelled closet/purse because I move the seat and stuff, which is apparently some major undertaking to put back. It is OK if I am taking the car to WASH it, however. It drives like a go cart and I think it just goes sideways into parallel parking places. It is too short to actually hit anything backing up.

[Gary and Alla 3,696]

OK, so back to housework!

How many Ukrainians (or Russians, but I am told this is done in Ukraine) clean their carpets by taking them out in the snow and scrubbing them with fresh snow? How did this one escape discussion? She has done this before but I was reminded yesterday

We have not had snow here until last Thursday, then it started snowing and kind of hasn't stopped since and now we have about 18" of snow here in the tropical valley of Lake Champlain, probably 3 feet in the mountains.

Alla was happy because she could clean her carpets "properly". We do not have "carpet", the wall-to-wall stuff which Alla hates because "who puts fabric on the floor which cannot be cleaned?" But we do have runners, small throw rugs and small area rugs which can be removed and cleaned. The BEST THING for cleaning them is "fresh snow". She takes them outside while dressed entirely "un-Ukrainian-like" (at least what we have come to regard as "Ukrainian-like") throws fresh, clean snow on the rugs and then scrubs them with a brush, working the snow into the rug. Then she beats the rug to remove the snow ("and all dirt") and brings them back in. I suggested using a broom so she did not have to be on her hands and knees in the snow but NO, "the broom is dirty!" Silly me.

I ask her to do this on the back deck as our yard is entirely surrounded by tall arbor vitae shrubs...it is private enough for naked sunbathing, it seems like a good place to wash rugs with snow.

I have been told "everyone in Ukraine does this"

I am skeptical.

[TBoneTX 48,131]

out in the snow

I don't know, but my best hyskool buddy used to eat yellow snow, pee man. In his later life, they kicked him out of Bellevue because they said he was crazy.

We had to leave a Gnu Year's Eve party at around 11 p.m. because Mini-Bone began waving bye-bye to everyone and tried to open the front door to go out. When he does that, our attendance at any party is over, sigh man. The hostess gave Mrs. T-B. several plates of food, including one of chocolate cake (slurrrrrp). While adjusting her position in the Mrs.-T-B.-mobile, Mrs. T-B. spilled the cake onto the floormat.

Fortunately, the floormat is black, so I suggested that she forget the idea of cleaning it and instead simply grind the cake into the mat. She at first looked startled/irritated but rapidly became contemplative in regard to this innovative, appealing idea (a vestige from T-B.'s single days).

Had there been snow on the ground, I doubt that she would have used it as a cleaning-solution, (s)no(w) man.

We left the party in time to buy grapes at a supermarket (insisted upon by Mrs. T-B.). At home at midnight, Mrs. T-B. ate 12 of the grapes and threw at least 12 pennies into the air by our doorstep. This long-standing and irritating Ecuadorian custom is supposed to presage wealth during the coming year, sigh man. The eat-graping is supposed to presage ample vittles, burp man.

Of course, as usual, most of the coins ended up impaled in our landscaping mud, and the rest will remain hidden until they become unexpected projectiles during the next mow-lawning, sigh man.

A buddy (another VJ gringo married to an Ecuatoriana) suggests that if an Ecu runs around the block while carrying a suitcase, it presages travel during the coming year, hee hee man.

Sidebar: Mini-B. (imminently 2 years old) has begun saying "Uh-oh -- red!" whenever we stop at a red light, si man. Courtesy of male bonding with T-B., he has also learned to say pedo (Spanish for "fart"), si man.

[Gary and Alla 3,696]

Sidebar: Mini-B. (imminently 2 years old) has begun saying "Uh-oh -- red!" whenever we stop at a red light, si man. Courtesy of male bonding with T-B., he has also learned to say pedo (Spanish for "fart"), si man.

Ukrainian women to not fart, they "make flowers"

[TBoneTX 48,131]

Ukrainian women to not fart, they "make flowers"

That must be a pew-phemism, whiff man.

Above-mentioned gringo pal of mine said his wife says that Ecu guys wear yellow underwear on New Year's Day. Upon questioning, Mrs. T-B. says, "It's for good luck all year -- yellow is a good-luck color." I personally think that the underwear was once white and the guys drank a bit more on New Year's Eve than their bladders could hold, pee man.

[ONA 133]

How many Ukrainians (or Russians, but I am told this is done in Ukraine) clean their carpets by taking them out in the snow and scrubbing them with fresh snow? How did this one escape discussion?

My parents used to do it, but they stopped with the development of technology.

However, I hate stupid carpets in every house here too. We are getting rid of carpets in our house some time soon.

Edited January 4, 2013 by ONA