RUBbette Wives & Housework, si man

[TBoneTX 48,148]

But T-B, it seems from the photos we have seen that Mrs. T-B probably has the same medicinal effect available as Alla ( I sleep naked for medicinal purposes only) You just need to get her sleeping naked! Make your own dreams come true! Da man!

Technically true, si man, but Mini-Bone sleeps in the bed with us, zzz man.

Here he was at age 5.5 mo., see man:

So what're we going to do about the dish-towels, huh man?

Edited November 13, 2012 by TBoneTX

[Gary and Alla 3,696]

Technically true, si man, but Mini-Bone sleeps in the bed with us, zzz man.

Here he was at age 5.5 mo., see man:

So what're we going to do about the dish-towels, huh man?

Whenever I am faced with the two dish towel question I try to remember that 1/2 the dish towels will always answer a question with a lie and 1/2 of them always answer with the truth. You only get one question, of course (more would take time away from sleeping naked with Alla) so I ask one of the dish towels, either one you can find, "where would the OTHER dish towel hide?" Then, of course...look in the OPPOSITE place. Voila!

I have not been stressed out since 1989.

So what you are telling us is Mrs. T-B is in bed with a mini-bone?

[Derek & Rita 6]

So, back on topic - my wife just got here last week. I'll just list the things..

• Must always wear slippers! Not in the bedroom though!
  
• Mop the floors every other day, on hands and knees!
  
• If we have a bezpadaric (?sp) then it will irritate her to no end. Clean room = happy wife!
  
• 72 degrees outside? Need a coat, scarf, hat.
  
• No air conditioner, it causes diseases, you know...
  
• A hot meal waiting for me every day when I get home.
  

So, yea, it's been great though, she's a great cook, and when she gets in the cleaning mood, nothing you say or do will stop her.

[baron555 934]

• Must always wear slippers! Not in the bedroom though!
  
• Mop the floors every other day, on hands and knees!
  
• If we have a bezpadaric (?sp) then it will irritate her to no end. Clean room = happy wife!
  
• 72 degrees outside? Need a coat, scarf, hat.
  
• No air conditioner, it causes diseases, you know...
  
• A hot meal waiting for me every day when I get home.
  

Yes to the first item, maybe once a week for number two, with a toddler we're both more tolerant for number three, she's better acclimated after three years here for number four, wait until a hot and humid summer and she'll learn to just love the AC !!!, and if she had her way yes to the last item.

Enjoy each other, together.

[Gary and Alla 3,696]

So, back on topic - my wife just got here last week. I'll just list the things..

• Must always wear slippers! Not in the bedroom though!
  
• Mop the floors every other day, on hands and knees!
  
• If we have a bezpadaric (?sp) then it will irritate her to no end. Clean room = happy wife!
  
• 72 degrees outside? Need a coat, scarf, hat.
  
• No air conditioner, it causes diseases, you know...
  
• A hot meal waiting for me every day when I get home.
  

So, yea, it's been great though, she's a great cook, and when she gets in the cleaning mood, nothing you say or do will stop her.

This is how you know you married a real RUB woman. You got the real deal! Congratulations

[TBoneTX 48,148]

This is how you know you married a real RUB woman.

Mrs. T-B. tends to clean (well) only when company is coming over (which is quite frequently, actually), si man. See earlier posts about the high-tech mop -- i.e., the rag on a stick.

Earlier tonight, I undertook my semidemihemi-weekly safari through the kitchen sink in an attempt to wash dishes, sigh man. Status quo with previous reports, including having to unload the dishwasher completely in order to reorder it, man si. Only new wrinkle was having to dive through 7,502,863 separated parts of sippy-cups, sigh man. Reminded me of the redneck's rejoinder to his spouse: "And fer th' last cotton-pickin' time, Verleen, I am not takin' my transmission out of the bathtub!"

[TBoneTX 48,148]

So what you are telling us is Mrs. T-B is in bed with a mini-bone?

Mini-B. never wanted to be in his crib, even for a few moments, so the default was to sleep with us. Amazing how a 21-month-old can occupy most of the usable surface area of a queen + twin bed.

[TBoneTX 48,148]

New mini-topic: toilet paper, si man.

When I was single, I existed quite well on the spare rolls of toilet paper from motel rooms that somehow made it home with me (magnetic attraction?). In fact, I didn't have to buy rolls for myself for as long as I could remember.

After Mrs. T-B.-to-be arrived, I one day went looking for a roll and didn't see one, no man. I inquired, and she said, half-sheepishly, "Somebody used it all up."

I have noticed that, at the end of any bodily-elimination activity, Mrs. T-B. wraps several cubits of toilet paper around her hand & wrist, wipes, and -- without looking -- flings the sodden mass in the general direction of the toilet bowl. Usually, her aim is true.

The question, si man: Does your RUBbette use t.p. as lavishly? What are the usage and disposal techniques?

Also, see post #11 in this thread for how I've very satisfactorily handled the supply situation:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/400259-1st-rule-you-do-not-talk-about-baby-until-born/page__gopid__5829375#entry5829375

[Gary and Alla 3,696]

New mini-topic: toilet paper, si man.

When I was single, I existed quite well on the spare rolls of toilet paper from motel rooms that somehow made it home with me (magnetic attraction?). In fact, I didn't have to buy rolls for myself for as long as I could remember.

After Mrs. T-B.-to-be arrived, I one day went looking for a roll and didn't see one, no man. I inquired, and she said, half-sheepishly, "Somebody used it all up."

I have noticed that, at the end of any bodily-elimination activity, Mrs. T-B. wraps several cubits of toilet paper around her hand & wrist, wipes, and -- without looking -- flings the sodden mass in the general direction of the toilet bowl. Usually, her aim is true.

The question, si man: Does your RUBbette use t.p. as lavishly? What are the usage and disposal techniques?

Also, see post #11 in this thread for how I've very satisfactorily handled the supply situation:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/400259-1st-rule-you-do-not-talk-about-baby-until-born/page__gopid__5829375#entry5829375

I can't say that but when single I did buy toilet paper in 4 packs which lasted quite a while. Now we buy the 96 roll tractor trailer load at Costco. Of course we also added 1 full time teenager and one part time teenager to the mix. I cannot say anything unusual in this regard.

Now if we want to talk about thei use of Q-tips, cotton squares, contact lens stuff, and general cosmetics, then OMG!

Today she "painted her hair" which means her robe was bunched around her waist and an old t-shirt was over this, then she had that bag over her head while the paint dries, cures, or whatecer that stuff does under there, and was wearing her slippers (of course) I was talking to Sergey on skype and he was asking if I think RUB women change when they come to the USA (his girlfriend is arriving to go to school at Univ. of Houston in Janaury)

Alla walked in and I pointed the web cam at her..."Look at Mom" I said "And she is going shopping like that!"

[TBoneTX 48,148]

Today she "painted her hair" which means her robe was bunched around her waist and an old t-shirt was over this, then she had that bag over her head while the paint dries, cures, or whatecer that stuff does under there

Chicas and hair, sigh man. Mrs. T-B. does much the same with the painting, and she also has some sort of avocado paste for either hair or face -- I can never keep that straight, no man.

[Gary and Alla 3,696]

Chicas and hair, sigh man. Mrs. T-B. does much the same with the painting, and she also has some sort of avocado paste for either hair or face -- I can never keep that straight, no man.

OMG and this is where the RUB women are champions. It is understood that they have to look good wherever they go, they should be the best looking woman in the room. Put many of them together and there is likely going to be something unpleasant. There will definitely be talk in the car on the way home! "We want to ^£%^ all men around and kill all women around"

This applies to every part of their body, their clothes, their car (heaven forbid a scratch on the self propelled closet) and their man. The hair painting party is quite the ritual. Everything in the area gets covered with plastic, newspapers, trash bags over the chairs, etc. Then the paint is mixed, which I remind Alla smells very much like "chemicals" to me. "I am not going to EAT it" Is the justification. She wears an old red robe, some old T-shirts of mine (I have no need for them, "T-shirts are for children, not for men") Basically this is Ukrainian HAZ-MAT duty! The whole is like the messy construction need to build a beautiful resort or someting "Please pardon our mess, we are Renovating for your pleasure"

Personal appearance is the one area where all the stuff about "natural" gets thrown in the trash. Everything must be shaved, plucked, painted, laced, stretched, compressed, curled and finally, balanced on top of two spike heels.

I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!

[Gary and Alla 3,696]

When talking to Sergey yesterday and his concern that his Russian girlfriend (and intended wife ) will change when brought to America...I told him "Don't worry, she will NEVER do what you tell her!"

We have electrical adaptors for various appliances for when we go to Ukraine. Alla bought a fancy one that has many different plugs which pop out like switchblades. I guess this thing can be used for any plug in the world. So we get to Ukraine and the one for the "Russian plugs" won't pop out. She gives it to me to "fix"

"What do you want me to do? It is the Russian plug. It is not going to do what I want or even what it should do" (as I struggle to get the 2 pins to pop out) Alla starts laughing, Momma is staring and repeating "Schto?" (what?) "It would probably do what it is supposed to for another man that looked at it, for one of its girlfriends it would pop out and make tea and cakes, but you think this Russian thing is going to do what it is supposed to for the husband???????"

I am reminded every day why the cold war lasted 50 years.

Edited November 19, 2012 by Gary and Alla

[TBoneTX 48,148]

I am reminded every day why the cold war lasted 50 years.

Some stories, si man! Regarding the painting: We guys tend to have 6 things in our bathroom -- a toothbrush, and toothpaste; a razor, and shaving cream; a bar of Dial soap; and a towel from a Holiday Inn. Conversely, chicas have a minimum of 439 things in their bathroom, si man... very few of which a man would be able to identify, no man.

Mrs. T-B. is very self-sufficient and, as stated, can repair (and has repaired) many things around the house, si man, without fuss, no man. She broke the plastic knob off our shower control the other day (while cleaning, which is somewhat of an unnatural act for her even though she's amazing when she does it), and part of a bolt or something got broken off within the remaining assembly. She researched the situation on-line, talked to a guy at Home Depot and got the parts, and will replace everything herself after I show her the water-shutoff valve by the street and give her some pliers, si man.

Normally, when a Latino refuses to lift a finger to help around the house, the reasoning is Es el trabajo del esposa ("it is the job of the wife"), si man. But Mrs. T-B. simply does this stuff, often without telling me, and it's cool, si man.

Regarding the self-propelled closet, someone rear-ended her new one last month, and we had to get a loaner vehicle for a couple of weeks. She parked it in our driveway, began to empty Mini-Bone's side of the back seat, got distracted, got back in, started to pull the vehicle into the garage, and banged the open right rear door on the post that splits our two garage doors. A small but very obvious door-ding resulted. She fretted a little about it at first, but then polished out what she could and "painted" the remainder, I presume entirely with her chica-stuff from the bathroom. The ding didn't disappear, but one would probably not notice it unless one went looking for it, no man.

I witnessed the toilet-paper phenomenon again tonight, si man. Mirabile visu, uffff man.

Edited November 20, 2012 by TBoneTX

[Gary and Alla 3,696]

Some stories, si man! Regarding the painting: We guys tend to have 6 things in our bathroom -- a toothbrush, and toothpaste; a razor, and shaving cream; a bar of Dial soap; and a towel from a Holiday Inn. Conversely, chicas have a minimum of 439 things in their bathroom, si man... very few of which a man would be able to identify, no man.

Mrs. T-B. is very self-sufficient and, as stated, can repair (and has repaired) many things around the house, si man, without fuss, no man. She broke the plastic knob off our shower control the other day (while cleaning, which is somewhat of an unnatural act for her even though she's amazing when she does it), and part of a bolt or something got broken off within the remaining assembly. She researched the situation on-line, talked to a guy at Home Depot and got the parts, and will replace everything herself after I show her the water-shutoff valve by the street and give her some pliers, si man.

Normally, when a Latino refuses to lift a finger to help around the house, the reasoning is Es el trabajo del esposa ("it is the job of the wife"), si man. But Mrs. T-B. simply does this stuff, often without telling me, and it's cool, si man.

Regarding the self-propelled closet, someone rear-ended her new one last month, and we had to get a loaner vehicle for a couple of weeks. She parked it in our driveway, began to empty Mini-Bone's side of the back seat, got distracted, got back in, started to pull the vehicle into the garage, and banged the open right rear door on the post that splits our two garage doors. A small but very obvious door-ding resulted. She fretted a little about it at first, but then polished out what she could and "painted" the remainder, I presume entirely with her chica-stuff from the bathroom. The ding didn't disappear, but one would probably not notice it unless one went looking for it, no man.

I witnessed the toilet-paper phenomenon again tonight, si man. Mirabile visu, uffff man.

Alla backed out of the garage without opening the door. Twice. The car was OK. ufff man. She backed into a bollard at the bank, and pushed in her bumper cover which resulted in a frantic phone call of how "I beat my car, it is ruined!!!!!" She brought it home, I took the rubber bumper cover off, heated it with the hair dryer (one of those 439 things in the bathroom, and "POP" the dent came out. Some rubbing compound and wax....VOILA! She came out to look at her ruined car and... Boge moy!

[TBoneTX 48,148]

Fortunately, Mrs. T-B. is a pretty good driver. She did take the driver's-side mirror off while backing out of the garage, but our Salvadorean mechanic replaced it for $101 walk-out price. However, Mrs. T-B. back-seat-drives when I'm driving, which risks more danger than does the way I drive.

Mrs. T-B.: Slow down! The limit is 65, and you're going 80!

T-B.: Everyone ELSE is also going 80. This is the safest speed.

Mrs. T-B.: You're going to kill us! Slow DOWN!

T-B.: Will you please shut up? You're making me nervous.

Mrs. T-B.: I will NOT shut up, and you SLOW DOWN!

T-B.: Making me nervous is a greater danger than matching the prevailing speed of everyone else!

Mrs. T-B.: Remind me never, EVER to drive with you again.

T-B.: There's no need for that. Just silencio, por favor! [be quiet, please]

Mrs. T-B.: I will NOT shut up! You SLOW DOWN!

T-B.: No jodes [quit nagging]

Mrs. T-B.: That's it! I will NEVER drive with you again!

Mini-Bone: Uh-oh.

Any problems with RUBbettes and speed limits, huh man?

Edited November 21, 2012 by TBoneTX