RUBbette Wives & Housework, si man

[Gary and Alla 3,696]

Well, G-Bone, even if you do seem to be a bit... uh, whipped from time to time, it is beyond dispute -- and frequently reported -- that you always get to wake up naked next to her, whee man.

I say that as a microcosm of life. Yes, she really does sleep naked, every night and even for naps, even in winter. Then it is my job to keep her warm. Can't wear clothes to bed.

What it means is I am a very happy man and lucky man and those things carry over for me all day. I mean you wake up, lift the covers and WOW! Then finish the day with a hot bath with a naked Russian super model, discuss your day (ever try to have an argument while naked in a tub with a hot Russian super model?)go to bed together. Makes for a damn good day no matter what else happens. I don't see that as a bad thing.

Am I ##### whipped...oh what a wonderful thought?. Nah, but I just don't debate stuff about the house, let her have it, less for me to worry about and she does a good job. Do I make a concious effort to find things to please her? Oh yeah! why not? Is she spoiled? Oh yeah! That's the idea. Am I spoiled? Oh hell yes!

So that's what it means when I say "Who cares? I sleep naked with Alla"

I was also fortunate enough to have had the experience of being very near death and very ill since we were married. Scary thing, and all I know is that her eyes were the last thing I saw when my eyes closed and the first thing I saw when they opened again...a couple days later. The nurses said she refused to leave, except to go to the bathroom and they thought they would have to insert a catheter. She got all the boys there also and when I opened my eyes I saw her and looked around the room and saw my four sons. When I said I was cold, she stripped naked right there and got in the bed with me to keep me warm. So the rest of the world can kiss my @ss and I will walk through fire for Alla because I know who wlll be there when I am no good to anyone.

Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY Alla! We are going shopping for her presents (her favorite way to get presents..."take me shopping") dinner, dancing and it seems warm enough for a late night walk along the lakefront. No skinny dipping though. It IS November and it IS Vermont.

That depends on what is being cooked. Certain precautions may be necessary to avoid burns.

True but nothing more than a short apron is ever called for. We aren't blowing glass here!

[TBoneTX 48,155]

"have you cjecked the air in my tires?"

Tell her that her next husband has to be from Prague or environs if the tires are to be Czeched, see man.

Oh, and let's spell it "tyres" in case some of the C.A.B.A. are lurking, eeeee(k) man.

And happy 29th birthday to A-Boneva! May she have countless more uncounted birthdays, si man.

No one commented on Mrs. T-B.'s foto (Spanish spelling), no man.

[Gary and Alla 3,696]

Tell her that her next husband has to be from Prague or environs if the tires are to be Czeched, see man.

Oh, and let's spell it "tyres" in case some of the C.A.B.A. are lurking, eeeee(k) man.

And happy 29th birthday to A-Boneva! May she have countless more uncounted birthdays, si man.

No one commented on Mrs. T-B.'s foto (Spanish spelling), no man.

Mrs. T-B is gorgeous TBone, you done good! I bet you really can't get TOO upset over her abuse of spoons. Foto is also the Russian spelling. With cyrillic letters, of course! So basically the same except the "f".

Alla was glam-ed up to the MAX last night. OMG! which of course meant a foto session at home in her new clothes and small suitcase of cosmetics. (Kozmetics) Then shopping for SHOES, so she bought her 364th and 365th pair of shoes ("choose", in "Russian-English") and two pair of "tapochi" (slippers) She then whipped out her coupons and Macy's card for an extra 15% discount until November 8th! Two pairs of shoes (heels) and two pairs of slippers for $63! I gave her the cash and she went over to the service desk and made a payment on her card of $63. "Almost FREE" She played with scarves for about an hour, but didn't buy any. She worked over two guys at the AT&T store for a new case for her I-phone. It is a thing of beauty to see her flirt her way into a 75% discount. She is like a weapon to take shopping. She saved us probably $1000 or more on appliances when we moved to this house. I am still known at "Lowe's" as "Alla's husband"

The best thing is, if I just went and bought gifts I would pay 3 times as much, nothing would be right, and she wouldn't have the fun of shopping with "not her money" I still haven't figured out the last part, but since I gave her cash and it did not come from the check book she uses to pay bills, then it is "not her money, it is someone else's money" and that makes it better. I just go with it! The results are worth it.

She had a great 29th birthday, dinner at a Japanese restaraunt (her favorite) and a couple hours of ballroom dancing...more dancing tonight, that was just a warm up.

I don't know about the rest of you, but the birthday is like a week long celebration here!

Edited November 3, 2012 by Gary and Alla

[Krikit 1,166]

Great deals! Another way to save is to take the foreign passport to Customer Service for a 10% off card. Sometimes you can do this right at check-out.

http://www1.macys.com/store/about/visitor/index.jsp

[Gary and Alla 3,696]

Great deals! Another way to save is to take the foreign passport to Customer Service for a 10% off card. Sometimes you can do this right at check-out.

http://www1.macys.com/store/about/visitor/index.jsp

Hmmm, if I had a foreign wife, maybe I would. I am married to an American woman. Who said I never would?

She still has her Ukrainian passport. I will pass that along.

[TBoneTX 48,155]

Mrs. T-B is gorgeous TBone, you done good! I bet you really can't get TOO upset over her abuse of spoons. Foto is also the Russian spelling. With cyrillic letters, of course! So basically the same except the "f".

Thank you, si man. She'll do, at least when my imaginary harem of the six blondes isn't around. Do not underestimate my gringo rage about the spoonal abuse, no man.

Two pairs of shoes (heels) and two pairs of slippers for $63! [...] "Almost FREE"

Not bad, no man! Just today, at the Goodwill store in Galveston, Mrs. T-B. found a new pair of (?) Worthington (?) shoes for $5.99 that she says sell at JCPenney for $69. This rivals the Calvin Klein tie that I found -- with the $59.50 price tag still on it -- at another Goodwill for $2.99.

It is a thing of beauty to see her flirt her way into a 75% discount. She is like a weapon to take shopping. She saved us probably $1000 or more on appliances when we moved to this house. I am still known at "Lowe's" as "Alla's husband"

[Nod of solemn approval] Mrs. T-B. is similar in parallel ways, si man. She has saved us at least a zillion bucks in home repairs et al. by working the Spanish-language tabloid newspapers and her personal contacts to find non-gringo-priced contractors, gee man. These people are here legally, as far as we know; they just lack the English-speaking abilities (or, more likely, self-confidence in those abilities) and limit themselves to the Spanish-speaking community for their business. For example, I wanted to replace the water heater in the other house. I found a new unit wholesale for $269. Mrs. T-B. found a certified plumber who picked it up from FAR across town, installed it to code, and hauled off the old one, all for $175.

it is "not her money, it is someone else's money" and that makes it better.

Mrs. T-B., whose chief duties are to destroy the kitchen and care for little Mini-Bone, is a bit more direct. She flashes her puppy-dog eyes and says, "Sometimes, husbands give their wives $50, and the wives go shopping."

I don't know about the rest of you, but the birthday is like a week long celebration here!

Very near the level of Ecuadorian parties, it seems, seem man... er, si man.

Along the line of housekeeping (staying on topic, si man): We went to the beach today, and we managed to keep all but a couple of grains of sand out of the car, whee man. Whatever Mrs. T-B.'s casual treatment of the kitchen, she certainly keeps Mini-B. spotless, gee man.

[Gary and Alla 3,696]

Thank you, si man. She'll do, at least when my imaginary harem of the six blondes isn't around. Do not underestimate my gringo rage about the spoonal abuse, no man.Not bad, no man! Just today, at the Goodwill store in Galveston, Mrs. T-B. found a new pair of (?) Worthington (?) shoes for $5.99 that she says sell at JCPenney for $69. This rivals the Calvin Klein tie that I found -- with the $59.50 price tag still on it -- at another Goodwill for $2.99.[Nod of solemn approval] Mrs. T-B. is similar in parallel ways, si man. She has saved us at least a zillion bucks in home repairs et al. by working the Spanish-language tabloid newspapers and her personal contacts to find non-gringo-priced contractors, gee man. These people are here legally, as far as we know; they just lack the English-speaking abilities (or, more likely, self-confidence in those abilities) and limit themselves to the Spanish-speaking community for their business. For example, I wanted to replace the water heater in the other house. I found a new unit wholesale for $269. Mrs. T-B. found a certified plumber who picked it up from FAR across town, installed it to code, and hauled off the old one, all for $175.Mrs. T-B., whose chief duties are to destroy the kitchen and care for little Mini-Bone, is a bit more direct. She flashes her puppy-dog eyes and says, "Sometimes, husbands give their wives $50, and the wives go shopping."Very near the level of Ecuadorian parties, it seems, seem man... er, si man.

Along the line of housekeeping (staying on topic, si man): We went to the beach today, and we managed to keep all but a couple of grains of sand out of the car, whee man. Whatever Mrs. T-B.'s casual treatment of the kitchen, she certainly keeps Mini-B. spotless, gee man.

Alla made the comment that these were the first slippers she ever bought in a "regular store" RUB women use a LOT of slippers. They leave them at friends homes so they have their own when they visit. No kidding...this "no shoes in the house" is like a religion! She never paid more than $5 for slippers. The local Goodwill store here gets a lot of closeout/season end things, all new clothes and items. Fortunately, Alla being a size 2 gets a good choice of things. Not much available in size 12-18. Seems to have all been sold. But these are particularly nice slippers, she had a coupon for big money off and "someone else was paying for it" so why not? No matter what she spends on slippers they will be worn out by soon and she will need more for an New Year's gift.

We also looked at diamond rings in jewelry stores and she has finally conceded to allow me to buy her a diamond ring to go with her wedding band. She never bought into this "need" for expensive rings. I am not sure she still does.

I am not going to tell Alla you went to the beach today! We hear enough of that from Sergey! Alla LOVES going to the beach, she could live there in the summer. I LOVE going with her Alas, we get but a brief 2 months of beach weather and moderately warm water.

I had the opposite problem you seem to have solved with your wife's language ability. I am the plumber, carpenter, electrician and painter in this house. Alla could not contain herself and broadcast around the Russian speaking community that she had a husband with GOLD hands. This resulted in me being asked to maintain the plumbing, electricity, and painting of all her friends homes at "friends prices" Um, no thanks. We seem to have gotten away from that except for dire emergencies.

[TBoneTX 48,155]

I had the opposite problem you seem to have solved with your wife's language ability. I am the plumber, carpenter, electrician and painter in this house. Alla could not contain herself and broadcast around the Russian speaking community that she had a husband with GOLD hands. This resulted in me being asked to maintain the plumbing, electricity, and painting of all her friends homes at "friends prices" Um, no thanks. We seem to have gotten away from that except for dire emergencies.

Well, the obvious reply to her uncontainment was probably "Yes, Dear" (not a bad one, when diplomacy is prudent).

As mentioned before, Mrs. T-B. is quite handy. Before immigrating, she had her own business, installing cell-phone antennae for customers all over Ecuador. She rode horses, scaled mountains, crossed rivers on barrel-barges, and waited to meet clients who'd walked 6 hours through the jungle to see her. She regularly climbed up on roofs to install the things.

When she came here, she was adept at putting up shelves and putting furniture together, and she even pulled a toilet and replaced the wax ring. The only help that she needed from me (I arrived home from work astonished) was to help her lift the toilet back up so that the bolts & their holes were aligned. She did the job well, but in the process somehow got bleach on our VERY best bathmat. When I noted this, she put on her innocent little-girl look and said, "It was an accident." Somehow, I forgave her. She went straight from that to making dinner (reservations).

She volunteers me to help her amigas (friends-who-are-girls) with English stuff -- school papers, resumes, etc. Some of that stuff takes hours. However, her amigas are so grateful that it makes it all worthwhile.

Sidebar: I'm also struck by how intensely the foreign Latinos want to learn English and how simultaneously self-conscious they are at their perceived lack of ability, si man and sigh man. I've come to conclude that the so-called "Hispanic takeover" of the U.S. (from bilingual education to "press 1 for English, 2 for Spanish") is not at all because of an unwillingness to assimilate, but rather hesitancy and fear.

I visit the local Mexican supermarket fairly reqularly. My "pidgin Spanish" is just enough to get by. When interacting with an employee, I ask "Habla usted Ingles?" (do you speak English)? If they say "no" or "not much," I say "yo tampoco" (me, neither). They relax noticeably and smile in relief, and we have an immediate bond. Last visit, I went to the butcher counter, where one guy whom I knew only by sight was working. I did the "yo tampoco" stuff and got the reaction above. His partner was my usual amigo, who does speak English, and I asked him, "Habla usted Ingles?" He replied, "Mucho!" I said, "Me, too." A lady customer who had witnessed the whole thing started cracking up and said (in English) "You're a really funny gringo!"

[Oliverpb 2]

I love this thread! I spent a good two hours reading through it a few months back and would laugh so hard I thought the neighbors would wake up. I hope it keeps going. Ill have to add my two cents worth. Maybe a Ruble or two? I know my wife loved reading it too. She really liked the parts about leaving food out, or putting a huge pan in the fridge with only a small bit left. I dont want to rehash what has already been talked about but I will add some soon. I am lucky and have a wonderful wife who wants to learn, teach and do everything together. I can't complain one bit! Love you Honush! Soluyu!

[Gary and Alla 3,696]

I love this thread! I spent a good two hours reading through it a few months back and would laugh so hard I thought the neighbors would wake up. I hope it keeps going. Ill have to add my two cents worth. Maybe a Ruble or two? I know my wife loved reading it too. She really liked the parts about leaving food out, or putting a huge pan in the fridge with only a small bit left. I dont want to rehash what has already been talked about but I will add some soon. I am lucky and have a wonderful wife who wants to learn, teach and do everything together. I can't complain one bit! Love you Honush! Soluyu!

[Gary and Alla 3,696]

Well, the obvious reply to her uncontainment was probably "Yes, Dear" (not a bad one, when diplomacy is prudent).

As mentioned before, Mrs. T-B. is quite handy. Before immigrating, she had her own business, installing cell-phone antennae for customers all over Ecuador. She rode horses, scaled mountains, crossed rivers on barrel-barges, and waited to meet clients who'd walked 6 hours through the jungle to see her. She regularly climbed up on roofs to install the things.

When she came here, she was adept at putting up shelves and putting furniture together, and she even pulled a toilet and replaced the wax ring. The only help that she needed from me (I arrived home from work astonished) was to help her lift the toilet back up so that the bolts & their holes were aligned. She did the job well, but in the process somehow got bleach on our VERY best bathmat. When I noted this, she put on her innocent little-girl look and said, "It was an accident." Somehow, I forgave her. She went straight from that to making dinner (reservations).

She volunteers me to help her amigas (friends-who-are-girls) with English stuff -- school papers, resumes, etc. Some of that stuff takes hours. However, her amigas are so grateful that it makes it all worthwhile.

Sidebar: I'm also struck by how intensely the foreign Latinos want to learn English and how simultaneously self-conscious they are at their perceived lack of ability, si man and sigh man. I've come to conclude that the so-called "Hispanic takeover" of the U.S. (from bilingual education to "press 1 for English, 2 for Spanish") is not at all because of an unwillingness to assimilate, but rather hesitancy and fear.

I visit the local Mexican supermarket fairly reqularly. My "pidgin Spanish" is just enough to get by. When interacting with an employee, I ask "Habla usted Ingles?" (do you speak English)? If they say "no" or "not much," I say "yo tampoco" (me, neither). They relax noticeably and smile in relief, and we have an immediate bond. Last visit, I went to the butcher counter, where one guy whom I knew only by sight was working. I did the "yo tampoco" stuff and got the reaction above. His partner was my usual amigo, who does speak English, and I asked him, "Habla usted Ingles?" He replied, "Mucho!" I said, "Me, too." A lady customer who had witnessed the whole thing started cracking up and said (in English) "You're a really funny gringo!"

Alla is very conscious of her accent and English ability (which is very good technically) and gets frustrated when people do not understand what she is saying.

I happened to run across a couple in the hardware store yesterday and the woman clearly had a Russian accent. So I said "Privet" and got to talking and find out that the woman's name is Alla and she is from Lugahnsk Ukraine. When I said my wife was also named Alla, from Donetsk, she said "Boge Moy! (Oh my God) Is she an English teacher?" I said yes, and she told me "She was my English teacher for ESL! I can speak English because your wife taught me!" I came home and told her of the woman, who she remembered from class. I told her "Y'know you think you speak English so bad, but there are a lot of people who learned English from you, maybe you should feel a little better about your ability"

But it begs the question, Tbone...HOW grateful ARE her Amigas?

Alla will have nothing whatever to do with any kind of man's work or hanging a clock or even a picture. She prefers not to be home when I hang a picture or even cut the grass with that "horrible machine for cutting grass" AKA ...Lawn tractor. I have my shop in a building out back, garage size. She came out there exactly ONCE, looked in the door, made funny faces, mumbled something about "dirty..." (actually "dusty" is more accurate) and never came out there again. Any kind of big project gets done when she is in Ukraine for 2-3 weeks. Small projects, like painting or shelf hanging or garbage disposal changing...she goes shopping or while she is at work or school.

Changing a toilet wax ring? If I asked her to be in the house when I did such a thing she would ask me if I had lost my mind!

She is definitely not the TomBoy type.

[Oliverpb 2]

Our version of this is Vika telling me that I spent too much/bought too much. Some days sweets, some days other stuff. The key is to not deviate from her list. I am still working on it.

Dont you ever buy more than you need for that day, maybe two. We can always go back to the store tomorrow. and Help me if I get more than the list! or forget something on the list!

And yes, it is "Ghamboorgers" and "Horrible McDonald's food" Even the Ghamboorgers I make are "horrible" food. Why? Her meatballs are the same and are "good natural food", but flatten them out and put them on a bun and it becomes "horrible" I asked her about this. Her answer? "Have you seen the brush for the cat? I need to brush the cat"

The evil Ghamboorgers! In my wifes defense she sometimes, likes to get the Mcdonalds kartofel frie. I have asked my wife, what is the difference between your cutletta, and my hamburger, like you said, just flattened. "It just is better for you! do not ask. She says she knows what it is made of, and if you eat bread on the side you wont eat as much... true, but that would be like me asking my wife to not put sour cream in her soup, its just how you eat them. I dont fight this one like I used to.

[TBoneTX 48,155]

But it begs the question, Tbone...HOW grateful ARE her Amigas?

The question is largely moot, in that the amigas are married to their countrymen who all are at least somewhat macho. "Machista" behavior, besides representing a complete double standard, includes the green light to beat the ####### out of (or, at minimum, slap around) one's wife or girlfriend upon even the slightest suspicion that she is showing "improper" attention to another man. This keeps these mostly attractive amigas from throwing themselves at me, as every woman instantaneously wants to do.

And remember that Mrs. T-B. bought me cheap, si man (see "Mrs. T-B. & the Citizenship Test" in the Off Topic forum, see man).

When Mrs. T-B. was taking her English class, the other chicas there (from all countries) were uniformly jealous that she was married to a gringo and had the opportunity to practice and be tutored at home, si man.

Yesterday, Mrs. T-B. reset the clock in her car, si man. She had no idea what time it was, no man, but she reset the clock herself, si man.

[Gary and Alla 3,696]

Dont you ever buy more than you need for that day, maybe two. We can always go back to the store tomorrow. and Help me if I get more than the list! or forget something on the list!

The evil Ghamboorgers! In my wifes defense she sometimes, likes to get the Mcdonalds kartofel frie. I have asked my wife, what is the difference between your cutletta, and my hamburger, like you said, just flattened. "It just is better for you! do not ask. She says she knows what it is made of, and if you eat bread on the side you wont eat as much... true, but that would be like me asking my wife to not put sour cream in her soup, its just how you eat them. I dont fight this one like I used to.

Whenever I challenge the Ukrainian wisdom I get either the "I decline you" treatment with questions about dog collars, cat brushes or potato mashers, OR I get the more direct

"It would be best if you did not try to argue with me about such things, you cannot win, you will never be right"

I don't fight this stuff or even care, I do not even put the milk back in the refrigerator any more. Just funny to tease her sometimes and see which reaction I get

[Gary and Alla 3,696]

The question is largely moot, in that the amigas are married to their countrymen who all are at least somewhat macho. "Machista" behavior, besides representing a complete double standard, includes the green light to beat the ####### out of (or, at minimum, slap around) one's wife or girlfriend upon even the slightest suspicion that she is showing "improper" attention to another man. This keeps these mostly attractive amigas from throwing themselves at me, as every woman instantaneously wants to do.

And remember that Mrs. T-B. bought me cheap, si man (see "Mrs. T-B. & the Citizenship Test" in the Off Topic forum, see man).

When Mrs. T-B. was taking her English class, the other chicas there (from all countries) were uniformly jealous that she was married to a gringo and had the opportunity to practice and be tutored at home, si man.

Yesterday, Mrs. T-B. reset the clock in her car, si man. She had no idea what time it was, no man, but she reset the clock herself, si man.

It sucks that all the women want us so much. Da man! Alla tells people now "If a strange man takes your bags in a foreign airport and says "follow me" then just CALL THE POLICE!"

Alla does not put gas in her car if she can possibly avoid it. I do that on Saturday mornings usually and check her tires and oil and all that. A full tank usually lasts all week. It is about the only time I drive her car...AKA self propelled closet. When we go out, I drive and we use my car. She gets chauferred, which is the proper way for a woman to travel. I set up the oil change appointments, safety inspection appointments, etc. She WILL drive the car there and read a book while the mechanics do the work. She doesn't watch. She checked the clock in her office/sun room Sunday and said "Did you change all the clocks?" Yes. "The one in my car?" Yes. "Is it 5 minutes fast?" Yes. "I love you" There, she set the clock in her car.