BEST WAY TO TEACH MY FILIPINA TO BUDGET

[maria6 4]

The best way is to have DELICADEZA. I never accepted money from my fiance even if he offered. I have my pride because we are not married yet. When he visited me thrice...I offered to share expenses on food. Some Filipinas...and it's a fact...are just after a foreigner's money that's why some foreigners have the impression that Filipinas are gold diggers.

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

The best way is to have DELICADEZA. I never accepted money from my fiance even if he offered. I have my pride because we are not married yet. When he visited me thrice...I offered to share expenses on food. Some Filipinas...and it's a fact...are just after a foreigner's money that's why some foreigners have the impression that Filipinas are gold diggers.

Stick around and pay attention. You'll learn, there are "gold diggers" all over the world.

Just because you refused to accept money from your fiance doesn't mean those that did are automatically gold diggers.

Edited August 2, 2011 by ~happyndinlove~

[maria6 4]

Stick around and pay attention. You'll learn, there are "gold diggers" all over the world.

Just because you refused to accept money from your fiance doesn't mean those that did are automatically gold diggers.

Did I offend you? I didn't specifically mention that...and take note of the word "some"...so that's in general!

[happyblessedme 12]

The best way is to have DELICADEZA. I never accepted money from my fiance even if he offered. I have my pride because we are not married yet. When he visited me thrice...I offered to share expenses on food. Some Filipinas...and it's a fact...are just after a foreigner's money that's why some foreigners have the impression that Filipinas are gold diggers.

hey correction please. Happyandinlove is absolutely right.It doesnt mean that just because u are receving monetary help from ur fiancee makes u a gold diggerand not have DELICADEZA???. I had a job the time we met and he wanted me to quit my job so he heartily offered financial assistance to me.I did not asked and we were chatting everyday for 3 years before he met me.

"It's a fact"??where did u get that??Beside my husband is not stupid to do that for us if he knows i am only after his money.

Where did u get that fact?? The fact is me and hubby is happilly married for 4.5 years with a 3 yr.old son besides those 3 years that we been together online.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

"It's a fact"??where did u get that??

She used it as a figure of speech to mean that it there have been Filipinas who have sought out foreign husbands as sugar daddy's. But don't take offense. This isn't unique to just Filipinas. Gold diggers and sugar daddy's have been around a lot longer than the foreign bride market ever existed.

[Julz&Shawn 0]

Just always let her know how you work hard and it is important for her to know that you too is struggling paying bills and stuff yourself. That there is no easy money in the U.S. You need to make a picture that you don't always have the money if she needed something. In short keep her informed that you guys will be living together pay check to pay check or something like that. Just like Philippines.

[Ban Hammer 12,901]

lots of posts removed that are off topic and aimed at other posters.

first and only warning:

discuss the topic. don't poke at each other with sharp sticks.

[SMOKE 1,426]

WONDERING HOW TO MAKE MY FILIPINA ABOUT BUDGETING....SHE SEEMS TO HV NO IDEA OF WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE MONEY AN BE ABLE TO SAVE OR BUDGET... SOMETIMES I THINK SHE THINKS MONEY JUST FALLS FROM TREES HERE... BELIEVE ME,,I NOT THE BEST WITH MONEY BUT I KNOW WHAT AN WHEN THINGS NEED TO BE PAID... IF I ASK HER WHERE THE MONEY WENT,,MOST THE TIME SHE GETS MAD BECAUSE I DONT TRUST HER WITH MONEY SHE SAYS... THANKS FOR ANY IDEAS....GREG

ask her to keep a running register of money taken in and spent. everything even buying candy or cokes for the kids. seeing it on paper daily should help. it won't take long & she'll see where money is wasted & spent wisely.

[gretchen_darren 67]

... IF I ASK HER WHERE THE MONEY WENT,,MOST THE TIME SHE GETS MAD BECAUSE I DONT TRUST HER WITH MONEY SHE SAYS... THANKS FOR ANY IDEAS....GREG

Well, my response is, "I want to trust you. I am looking at you HANDLING OUR budget when you get here. I want to know HOW you are handling money now." If she argues more, "Listen to me, Right now, I am giving you what I can to live on without hurting the expenses of living here. If I send you more money, it means I have to make choices in daily living for the home I have here in America. I have to pay for a place to live, electric, TV, phone, internet, and food plus car, gas, oil, insurance, some expenses which you may not have there. I understand in your country women of the house run the budget. I want you to do the same here as well. It is not I do not trust you, it is I want to build OUR relationship and deepen OUR commitment to where I TRUST you more. I just want to understand how you do things. I want to know you care about US and OUR future together." Just put your foot down. Not hard but gently and forcefully. Show her you are the man of the house, but also care about her as well as your relationship. If she still refuses to open up, let her sit there for a while deriding what to do. After all, you still have 6 months after the interview to bring her here, and another 3 months after that to marry her. If she asks why she is still waiting, just say I am saving up money to bring you here. Tell her the plane ticket is 50,000php and explain your budget in php cost to her. Mortgage is 50,000 php per month, electric is 4300 php, car payment is 16000php, insurance is another 4300php, food is 10000php, and you only make 130,000php a month. Tell her after expenses, this is x php I have left a month for BOTH of us to live on. All I want to know is HOW you are doing things now, so I CAN TRUST YOU with OUR budget when you get here.

I really hope it works out for you. I see she is going to interview next week. Best of luck.

[rheanick 42]

WONDERING HOW TO MAKE MY FILIPINA ABOUT BUDGETING....SHE SEEMS TO HV NO IDEA OF WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE MONEY AN BE ABLE TO SAVE OR BUDGET... SOMETIMES I THINK SHE THINKS MONEY JUST FALLS FROM TREES HERE... BELIEVE ME,,I NOT THE BEST WITH MONEY BUT I KNOW WHAT AN WHEN THINGS NEED TO BE PAID... IF I ASK HER WHERE THE MONEY WENT,,MOST THE TIME SHE GETS MAD BECAUSE I DONT TRUST HER WITH MONEY SHE SAYS... THANKS FOR ANY IDEAS....GREG

Ask her to document all her spending so she would see where her money went. All small stuff when added up could be costly.

Responsible filipinas are aware of this procedure.

[Tahoma 2,291]

Sheesh!...another Budgeting 101 thread!

Responsible filipinas people are aware of this procedure.

Amen, sister Rhea. No further sermon is necessary.

[JoBri 545]

My wife has always been good about money, but then she had to budget the money for an entire school when she was the principal. She does better than I do. I keep track of the bills on our calendar on the computer though, and we have this post-it note app for our desktop, and I just put on the post-it notes the next bill due, the date due, the amount and when to send it, and she manages the money for paying it and pays it herself. When I trust it to her to pay it and leave it all in her hands other than the post-it note reminders, the bills get paid and we always have enough money in the end, even on a limited income. The post-it note app is sure handy though.

[mudbugntx 2]

When my wife was still in the Philippines, I couldn't hardly get her to spend the money I sent. I gave her an ATM card and she never used it unless I was with her except for one time when staying at Manila while waiting on her visa. She would only spend on communications (Internet, Phone cards) so she could talk with me. I had to prod her to treat herself every once in a while to halo-halo or a massage. When she was traveling for the medical and interview, she found very inexpensive hotels even though I had told her to stay at the same places we stayed together. She would always tell me where she spent every penny even though I never asked. Now that we are married, we have joint accounts and she has credit cards. She has full access to everything we have and I still have to prod her to spend on herself.

[Ban Hammer 12,901]

Sheesh!...another Budgeting 101 thread!

wait till you've been here 5 years, it's like watching a washing machine stuck on rinse/repeat.

Edited August 2, 2011 by charles!

[rlogan 2,036]

Not a lot of information to go on in this budgeting 101 casefile. The short answer is that you learn to say no. It has to be enforceable. You can't say it and not mean it. Straighten this out before you bring her here or it is going to be a nightmare. If she doesn't cooperate, don't marry her.

Of course you need a calendar with all the due dates for expenses written down upon it, if you are helping her family. They know when they are due, but if you know something is due tomorrow then they can't get away with spending money on a party today with balloons and ice cream for the whole neighborhood. They need to hide bills, especially the biggest ones, and come to you for the money on the day the power or water or internet is being shut off.

Why should she tell you what she spends money on? Then you'd be able to see she spent a whole month's rice budget on one meal at Jollibee.

Try not to use all capital letters there Gizzy, as it is somewhat treated like shouting in internet fora.

Edited August 3, 2011 by rlogan