Would you get your fiance pregnant before getting K1 VISA?

[Alex+R 0]

Gary:

Perhaps I am being too cynical, but it sounds to me like she only wants to get pregnant to ensure her immigration to the U.S.

If a woman is "so in love" that she can't even consider the well being of her potential child (i.e., waiting to go through pregnancy when in a 1st world country with the support of the father) then she is really not ready to be having children.

You also don't sound like you want this to happen, but you seem very flattered by the idea because you assume she wants the baby because she's so in love.

Women in love aren't any different than men in love--we retain the ability to think clearly as well as the other gender. Welcome to 2006.

[garya505 2]

Gary:

Perhaps I am being too cynical, but it sounds to me like she only wants to get pregnant to ensure her immigration to the U.S.

If a woman is "so in love" that she can't even consider the well being of her potential child (i.e., waiting to go through pregnancy when in a 1st world country with the support of the father) then she is really not ready to be having children.

You also don't sound like you want this to happen, but you seem very flattered by the idea because you assume she wants the baby because she's so in love.

Women in love aren't any different than men in love--we retain the ability to think clearly as well as the other gender. Welcome to 2006.

Getting pregnant does not ensure a woman's immigration at all. I don't know where people get that idea.

We're getting some interesting responses here folks, but remember that the only options in this scenario is 1) waiting to get pregnant until after getting the K1 VISA, or 2) trying to get pregnant and possibly coming into the US at 3 to 4 months pregnant. In this scenario if the couple chose #2 she would have access to good prenatal care and weekly doctor visits. Of course the worst case in choice #2 is that the VISA takes too long and the baby is born in her country, but in that event the child would be born in a good hospital and the husband would be there.

It's interesting that we only get comments from the "No" voters, and they often forget the third person scenario and apply the question to their own situation. I wonder why the voters who picked "Yes" did so.

Remember, this is a hypothetical scenario where we are asked "what would you do in this case?"

Edited September 5, 2006 by garya505

[Sheriff Uling 3]

garya505 - I have notice that some folks really personalize the hypothetical senarios even to the point of being upset like it actually happened or is going to happen. LOL! It's all in fun. Hey, that's why there's an Off Topic Forum. Cheers!!! - Sheriff Uling

[garya505 2]

garya505 - I have notice that some folks really personalize the hypothetical senarios even to the point of being upset like it actually happened or is going to happen. LOL! It's all in fun. Hey, that's why there's an Off Topic Forum. Cheers!!! - Sheriff Uling

Yes you are correct, as usual! Some people seem to be so self-centered that they can only think in terms of their own situation.

In retrospect I can see I did this poll wrong, I should have stated the question simply as "what would you do in this scenario", then the reader might read the description before they vote or post.

It's also interesting to see the assumptions and prejudices about women from poor countries.

Edited September 5, 2006 by garya505

[sarah and hicham 3]

What good would come from her getting pregnant before coming?

I don't know about you guys but if I was coming to the US I would ideally like to be married before starting a family.

[PlatyPius 5]

garya505 - I have notice that some folks really personalize the hypothetical senarios even to the point of being upset like it actually happened or is going to happen. LOL! It's all in fun. Hey, that's why there's an Off Topic Forum. Cheers!!! - Sheriff Uling

Yes you are correct, as usual! Some people seem to be so self-centered that they can only think in terms of their own situation.

In retrospect I can see I did this poll wrong, I should have stated the question simply as "what would you do in this scenario", then the reader might read the description before they vote or post.

It's also interesting to see the assumptions and prejudices about women from poor countries.

You asked for our opinions. To give my opinion, I had to apply it to my situation and see how I felt about it. The result is what I posted.

I made no assumptions about women from poor countries. I applied the situation to me and my fiance, who is from England. My reaction would be the same no matter where the fiance was from. I would have big warning flags flashing before my eyes. Not to mention I would have to start questioning her use of logic and whether I really wanted to be with someone like that or not - who wanted a baby NOW. (I wouldn't)

[garya505 2]

What good would come from her getting pregnant before coming?

I don't know about you guys but if I was coming to the US I would ideally like to be married before starting a family.

Well, let's say in this case she thinks the dream of her life is coming true, and the sooner she gets pregnant the sooner she knows the dream is real? How can we say if that's a "good" thing? She thinks it is.

Of course the ideal is always better, or is it?

[sarah and hicham 3]

What good would come from her getting pregnant before coming?

I don't know about you guys but if I was coming to the US I would ideally like to be married before starting a family.

Well, let's say in this case she thinks the dream of her life is coming true, and the sooner she gets pregnant the sooner she knows the dream is real? How can we say if that's a "good" thing? She thinks it is.

Of course the ideal is always better, or is it?

If you ask me you are coming up with some weird ideas and making things a little more complicated then they need to be.

I said ideally for myself, since there are some who have been pregnant before coming and that is just what I think.

The dream of her life is coming true- what are you talking about? I don't get it.

[garya505 2]

What good would come from her getting pregnant before coming?

I don't know about you guys but if I was coming to the US I would ideally like to be married before starting a family.

Well, let's say in this case she thinks the dream of her life is coming true, and the sooner she gets pregnant the sooner she knows the dream is real? How can we say if that's a "good" thing? She thinks it is.

Of course the ideal is always better, or is it?

If you ask me you are coming up with some weird ideas and making things a little more complicated then they need to be.

I said ideally for myself, since there are some who have been pregnant before coming and that is just what I think.

The dream of her life is coming true- what are you talking about? I don't get it.

Actually this scenario is quite simple really. It's the logic and reasoning that is complicated, and sometimes it can be difficult to put ourselves in the situation of another person.

When I said "Of course the ideal is always better, or is it?" it was a rhetorical question intended to promote discussion.

You never had "the dream of your life"? Then maybe it's difficult to imagine the thinking of a person who thinks theirs has come true.

[gimygirl 0]

you queries also sound like ones that your fianceé has posed to you and you are now polling the masses.

'would you' questions usually carry a very personal meaning behind them!

[sarah and hicham 3]

Why are you so interested in this discussion? Hit close to home?

[garya505 2]

you queries also sound like ones that your fianceé has posed to you and you are now polling the masses.

'would you' questions usually carry a very personal meaning behind them!

I am personally very familiar with three couples making this decision, one who decided to get pregnant before they got the VISA, one who decided not to, and one isn't sure. That's the reason for me posting the poll. All three couples seem to be doing fine. Yes, I'm in one of them. If it turns you on you can try to guess which one.

[sarah and hicham 3]

you queries also sound like ones that your fianceé has posed to you and you are now polling the masses.

'would you' questions usually carry a very personal meaning behind them!

I am personally very familiar with three couples making this decision, one who decided to get pregnant before they got the VISA, one who decided not to, and one isn't sure. That's the reason for me posting the poll. All three couples seem to be doing fine. Yes, I'm in one of them. If it turns you on you can try to guess which one.

touche

[Alex+R 0]

What good would come from her getting pregnant before coming?

I don't know about you guys but if I was coming to the US I would ideally like to be married before starting a family.

Well, let's say in this case she thinks the dream of her life is coming true, and the sooner she gets pregnant the sooner she knows the dream is real? How can we say if that's a "good" thing? She thinks it is.

Of course the ideal is always better, or is it?

If you ask me you are coming up with some weird ideas and making things a little more complicated then they need to be.

I said ideally for myself, since there are some who have been pregnant before coming and that is just what I think.

The dream of her life is coming true- what are you talking about? I don't get it.

Actually this scenario is quite simple really. It's the logic and reasoning that is complicated, and sometimes it can be difficult to put ourselves in the situation of another person.

When I said "Of course the ideal is always better, or is it?" it was a rhetorical question intended to promote discussion.

You never had "the dream of your life"? Then maybe it's difficult to imagine the thinking of a person who thinks theirs has come true.

That sounds like more of an assumption about 3rd world women than anything Cian or I or anyone else who thought it raised a red flag has said.

If this is about you (and you really make it sound like it is), you obviously have a very high opinion of yourself.

*I* know that pregnancy can't help the immigration process; not everyone does. Or perhaps she is just trying to hold on to her man, since his is apparently so wonderful? The oldest trick in the book.

International travel with a baby or a pregnant woman is NOT the best case scenario. Sorry.

[garya505 2]

That sounds like more of an assumption about 3rd world women than anything Cian or I or anyone else who thought it raised a red flag has said.

Actually I'm just telling you the facts as I know them to be in this scenario, with this particular couple. The question was (and still is), what would you do if you were the man in this case?

If this is about you (and you really make it sound like it is), you obviously have a very high opinion of yourself.

Does it matter who it's about? It's a discussion of a particular scenario and what each of us would do if we were the man in this case.

*I* know that pregnancy can't help the immigration process; not everyone does. Or perhaps she is just trying to hold on to her man, since his is apparently so wonderful? The oldest trick in the book.

Do you really think a woman in a foreign country could hold on to a man in the US by getting pregnant? I mean, unless they get the VISA, what future can they have together? And as we all know, getting pregnant does not help you get a K1 VISA.

International travel with a baby or a pregnant woman is NOT the best case scenario. Sorry.

Did anyone say it was?

Edited September 5, 2006 by garya505