Tips please on how to deal with waiting for NOA2

[misteem 2]

I have received our NOA1 back in late August of 2010, and we are now more than 4.5 months into our wait. After reading for several months about the possible explanations why the Vermont Service Center is processing slower during the winter months, perhaps because of work visa priority, more fiancee and spouse visas than normal, fewer adjudicators, etc., than their usual processing rate of 2 to 3 months back in late summer of 2010, which is why we decided to apply for the K-1 visa in the first place because of its fast turn-around time, my fiancee and I are simply losing our patience this late into the phase. We were both doing great before, but all this time of not seeing each other and the overriding uncertainty of when we might receive our NOA2 is taking an emotional and physical toll on both of us. I realize other couples have waited 5 months and longer for their NOA2 and maybe we should wait a little bit longer. Yet how did you deal with it? My request is for all the couples out there who have waited a similar period or longer. My fiancee and I have tried everything like focusing on work, spending more time with family and friends, going to parties, movies, and events, or anything else distracting us from this intolerable wait. But every time I am alone at home after work or on the weekends, I cannot help but think about this stupid visa, and she does the same. We have tried everything, and we have run out of ideas now. To all the couples out there, what tips and ideas can you give that have helped you fight through this never-ending nightmare?

I suggest looking at the end result because you know its coming... just no definitive time frame. Hanging with friends and going to parties is not as fun as the thought of being with your mate. I personally focus on plans for the future... things to do in the home.. places I want him to see, etc. That helps me stay calm and not worry about when the process will be over. Use this time to prepare for the next steps... and think about how nice it will be when you're going to parties and taking your love with you.

There's always something entertaining on VJ to read about.

[Mr. Florida 11]

I was pretty much in the same boat as you last year. I had also just started a new job at the beginning of 2010, got married (our "spiritual" big-fat-Indian-wedding) in December 2009 in India, stayed with my wife for all of December and then had to leave her which was the most painful thing in the world. Many times I pondered w/e or 3 days trips even if I would see her only a few hours b4 getting on the plane back. I tried to calculate it every which way like you're doing. We got our approval March 16th 2010, but I still took a trip in April for a week. I told my work ppl that my wife had fell down the stairs, was bleeding etc and that I had to rush back to India to see her. I hated telling the lie, but just absolutely had to in order to see her. This was last year, when the big ash cloud had disrupted everything. fortunately I flew Emirates which took a different route as the ash cloud and could go and see her. When she had her interview in June, I took 2 weeks off again to be w/ her for the interview and then bring her back w/ me. I cna only say that I thank God for giving me such understanding folks at work. Through some w/e work upfront, I reduced my total vacation time off to 3 days instead of 2 weeks. The one thing that helped btw, is letting anyone and everyone at your work know that your wife/fiance is in India and you are in a long-distance situation. That make many ppl sympathetic to your cause and doesnt cause anyone to raise eyebrows when you request time off. On the same token, to be on their good side, volunteer for w/e work and the crappy projects. that way you curry some favor when it comes time for you to go to India.

As someone who's well been there and done that, all I can say is to keep yourselves occupied as much as you can and not dwell on the situation. I know you're already doing that, but you HAVE to hang in there. Dont talk about the past and always make plans and look to the future. I dont know if you're religious or believe in metaphysical things, but one thing that helped me was that I wrote in a piece of paper when I envisioned things happening (ie, NOA2 rec'd xx-xx-2009, Wife recieves visa xx-xx-xxxx) and so on. Put that in a prominent place (I put it in front of my little "God" shrine) and would think about it and visualize it everyday. It may sound hokey, but you can make your future and wishes come true when you picture it so. Ask your fiance to do the same. Power of positive thinking and positive visualization to make your desired outcome. Also eliminate negative thinking, esp. the kind that's the "oh-what-will-i-do-if-this-doesnt-happen" or "when-will-this-ever-happen"? change it to "this-WILL-happen etc etc).

anyway, my 2 cents. hope this helps you and wish you the best of luck! :thumbs:

I should also mention that the next stage, ie NVC does go much faster. Make sure to plan ahead and secure some of the documents that are needed, like PCCs and birth certificates etc that can be huge bottlenecks in obtaining. As you can see from my sig, USCIS NOA2 took me 5 months and 10 days; NVC stage took me 3 weeks. I had all my docs lined up and ready to go. So that'll give you somehting to work towards and look fwd to.

Hobokenworkingman, I really appreciate all that you had to share from your experience through this process. Reading tales from you and others, I feel much more content and confident inside knowing hundreds of others have walked down this path my fiancee and I are going through now. Like you back a year ago, I simply do not know how I will juggle my work and visa schedule at the same time if I need to travel to India in the next few months. Your journey a year ago must have been a roller coaster ride. What's funny is that I was nearly caught in the same volcanic cloud over Europe during my visit last summer. I will definitely keep your tips in mind, as you are someone who intimately knows the ups and downs of this chaotic and journey. And yes, my fiancee and I are both very spiritual people and we pray very often. I kind of find it romantic and interesting we are both praying for the same thing from opposite sides of the world and at opposite times of the day. My fiancee would definitely like what you had to say about thinking positive things so they may come to fruition because I'm the one who tends to be more realistic and pessimistic while she is more idealistic and optimistic. We are both keeping faith God is keeping silent momentarily and will wake up when our time is ready. I think I may try your suggestion of putting our NOA1 in front of God and praying to Him in this manner. Thank you once again for your very helpful tips! I pray and hope our time comes soon.

My tips:

-working more than normal (put in that extra time now so you can take time off later)

-reading, reading and more reading (books that is, not message boards)

-skype (totally necessary and extremely important)

-language study - If you fiancee's native tongue is one that is still foreign to you, take this time to learn and practice. He/she will appreciate you for it. (and you can practice via skype)

-spend less time on visa journey: this site is great and informative but too much can make the process seem like an eternity...especially when the support group gets feisty.

-spend time with family: I have a 9 year old boy and I spend most of my "free" time with him, strengthening my relationship with him while preparing him for a new addition to our family.

-music: seek out and listen to more music! (ok, this is more of a hobby, so discover yours!)

Dogspot, yes I will keep your suggestions in mind as well. I can definitely listen to more music to pass away the time and spend less time here on VJ. Fortunately, my fiancee and I speak the same native language, so the transition will be smoother. We are simply pondering what her transition will be like when she has to adjust moving to the states and living among new people in a new culture half a world away. It sounds exciting from the sound of it! Anyone else looking at all our stories here on VJ would either think we're crazy or very romantic! Thank you for your tips.

I called USCIS today and asked to speak to a higher level of customer service. She said that she had good news and that mine was approved on January 4!!!

Faith & Andz, congratulations on the recent victory for you, your fiancee, and your God! Wow! I bet you never imagined only a day ago when you posted your last reply that you would receive such good news this soon. I do have some questions for you though. Did you sign up for text message and email alerts at the USCIS website? If so, did you not get your alerts? And if you did get your alerts after your spoke with customer service, which one did you get first, text or email? Once again, congratulations on your recent success! Happy days await you.

[Mr. Florida 11]

Sorry about the double post. I hit the enter button by accident the first time. I tried to return and edit my post, but it would not save my changes as the website apparently had an error saying I did not have permission for some reason.

I suggest looking at the end result because you know its coming... just no definitive time frame. Hanging with friends and going to parties is not as fun as the thought of being with your mate. I personally focus on plans for the future... things to do in the home.. places I want him to see, etc. That helps me stay calm and not worry about when the process will be over. Use this time to prepare for the next steps... and think about how nice it will be when you're going to parties and taking your love with you.

There's always something entertaining on VJ to read about.

Misteem, yes I am focusing my attention and energies now on preparing my home, my documents, and my life for her ultimate arrival one day. Many of the people here on this site are extremely helpful. I am very happy I posted this thread as I feel better now than how I felt when I first posted it thanks to all of you. And we share the same sentiment because I look forward to the day when I will go to parties with her and none other.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Duplicate post removed as requested

[Faith & Andz 3]

Faith & Andz, congratulations on the recent victory for you, your fiancee, and your God! Wow! I bet you never imagined only a day ago when you posted your last reply that you would receive such good news this soon. I do have some questions for you though. Did you sign up for text message and email alerts at the USCIS website? If so, did you not get your alerts? And if you did get your alerts after your spoke with customer service, which one did you get first, text or email? Once again, congratulations on your recent success! Happy days await you.

Thanks! Yes, I was so excited when I heard the good news because I had gotten so used to the usual reply =). I did sign up for email alerts (but not text); however, I never got an update of my case online or through email. I just called customer service, and about 30 minutes after I got off the phone, I checked the mail and found the NOA2 in the mailbox! Don't give up hope; your day is coming soon. God is always faithful!