Sneaky wedding, don't tell the family..

[Meliss 0]

Alright- the stress of both parents on both sides saying they want to come to the civil service (and I wanted it done with no fuss) Is killing me! They want to be there even if we are not doing anything or having anything just to be there. Well.....I was thinking we would just sign the papers and then start the process rolling. no fuss no planning a event, then when we get settled, new house and some time down the road we could plan a nice party have everyone come then when we could introduce them to the neighbourhood, house etc....

Whatever, so since the parents have the panties in a bunch and are making my life stressful, what do you think about not telling them, get hitched and then just plan a party with a renewal of the vows later?

Is this just asking for trouble? I really want to get settled and have time to plan this out like we want- but to get the paperwork going we have to actually get married A.S.A.P. Help- I fell the stress like a brick on my back already with the move kids, new house etc. What would you do?

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Frankly, I'd kill myself.

But that's just me.

[Meliss 0]

Ha ha - that actually made me laugh. But really am I just a super pain in the ###? What ev.

[Not Available 0]

I personally would tell them this is the day we are doing it, if you want to come, fine, but we arent doing anything aftewards. Just don't do it without telling them, the stress of them wanting to come to the civil ceremony now is probably not going to be as bad as the stress of going through AOS AND having both sets of parents mad at you for "going behind their back".

Edited August 25, 2006 by Stina

[Alex+R 0]

Either a) explain to them that this is not your "real" wedding and you'd like to have them at only that to make it more special (and maybe hint at how much it's going to stress you out to have them visiting when you JUST got reunited with your fiance and want to get the paperwork filing over with

or B ) suck it up and let them come.

I face the same dilemma.

Edited August 25, 2006 by Alex+R

[babybunny 2]

Alright- the stress of both parents on both sides saying they want to come to the civil service (and I wanted it done with no fuss) Is killing me! They want to be there even if we are not doing anything or having anything just to be there. Well.....I was thinking we would just sign the papers and then start the process rolling. no fuss no planning a event, then when we get settled, new house and some time down the road we could plan a nice party have everyone come then when we could introduce them to the neighbourhood, house etc....

Whatever, so since the parents have the panties in a bunch and are making my life stressful, what do you think about not telling them, get hitched and then just plan a party with a renewal of the vows later?

Is this just asking for trouble? I really want to get settled and have time to plan this out like we want- but to get the paperwork going we have to actually get married A.S.A.P. Help- I fell the stress like a brick on my back already with the move kids, new house etc. What would you do?

you know since you are with US Embassy in CAN. it dont matter < I am guessing >

but, had you been with an Embassy in pakistan or india.. it would matter.

they do field investigations. I know someone that recently got DENIED. it was said

by the CO they were hiding the relationship and the marriage.

Edited August 25, 2006 by babybunny

[Ban Hammer 14,379]

what do you think about not telling them, get hitched and then just plan a party with a renewal of the vows later?

Is this just asking for trouble?

you will hurt some feelings if you do. be prepared for that.

[babybunny 2]

what do you think about not telling them, get hitched and then just plan a party with a renewal of the vows later?

Is this just asking for trouble?

you will hurt some feelings if you do. be prepared for that.

this is true. my mom would be broken hearted..

people rarely do the second wedding dubage. even still people really would not come

as you would expect. you are considered to them already married. its not the same.

Edited August 25, 2006 by babybunny

[AnaAndDaniel 0]

i'd invite all of em over to the house and greet em in my undies.

seriously. if you are suffering from all this stress i'd recommend you do what is necessary to lighten the load. i suppose i would do as you said, just waltz over to the corthouse, get hitched, then notify everyone to stop their belly aching. water under the bridge ya know. life is too short to worry about everyone else's wishes.

good luck.

Daniel

:energetic:

[Not Available 0]

It also wouldnt hurt to have some pictures of you guys with the parents at the civil ceremony for your AOS interview.

[Kez/JWolf 6]

As a Mom I would be so hurt if my daughter said I could not be with her on her wedding day.... no matter how small an event it is still your wedding day...

Kezzie

[Laveau 67]

hmmm... I eloped ( marraige didn't last but it wasn't because we didn't tell anyone beforehand....plz) and went through AOS with my ex. It wasn't a problem at all. I don't regret eloping. We had a party shortly afterwards and invited family and friends and made the announcement. My mom cried a little but meh...my life. It's how I wanted it. I still have good memories of the planning and execution of those plans, too. It was romanitic to me....just us. But it suited US.

[AnaAndDaniel 0]

i like the answer someone gave earlier. tell them when and where. up to them if they show. do your thing. take some photos. thank everyone. go home.

Daniel

:energetic:

[Meliss 0]

I AM STABBING MYSELF IN THE EYE RIGHT NOW! They could all come to the civil service the problem is it would be like right after I move and I don't want to deal with it. Rather they come later, when I can be ready. My lovely fiance wants to do what ever I want to do- so we'll see.

[garya505 2]

Alright- the stress of both parents on both sides saying they want to come to the civil service (and I wanted it done with no fuss) Is killing me! They want to be there even if we are not doing anything or having anything just to be there. Well.....I was thinking we would just sign the papers and then start the process rolling. no fuss no planning a event, then when we get settled, new house and some time down the road we could plan a nice party have everyone come then when we could introduce them to the neighbourhood, house etc....

Whatever, so since the parents have the panties in a bunch and are making my life stressful, what do you think about not telling them, get hitched and then just plan a party with a renewal of the vows later?

Is this just asking for trouble? I really want to get settled and have time to plan this out like we want- but to get the paperwork going we have to actually get married A.S.A.P. Help- I fell the stress like a brick on my back already with the move kids, new house etc. What would you do?

Hmmm, just one question - what would you do if you had a REAL problem?

I like my fiance's attitude. Her favorite phrase is, "we don't care about that".

Edited August 25, 2006 by garya505