Vietnamese women are bossy

[BinhJerome 14]

My wife is the same way, she always asks what I want, then she does what she wants, or she acts like she never heard what I said. I do get to eat and do some things that I want, but for the most part she is the boss, if I try to be the boss I am, but I have to deal with her later on But this is what makes her who she is, and she is still the same woman I fell in love with years ago.

Jerome

[Sayha or bust. 71]

Since we do not live with each other yet. My fiancée is involved and has allot of say so, We discuss daily our itineraries. She expects me home after work,take

care of my children and my ailing parents. I'm ok with that,since this journey began i've changed my lifestyle for the better and want to continue living a wholesome life. I will wait to bring my social life back after she arrives so she can be a part of it.

[just phobulous 2]

Wow !! I guess I must be pretty lucky then. When my wife and I first started talking to each other, we both agreed that we would always discuss every important decision that has to be made. Both of our families have had some marital problems because of the lack of equality in the "pants" department. So, we made each other promise to work through every little bump together, agree together, and to always have an open mind to each others opinion. SO FAR SOO GOOD !! Now.... that being said.... There are some things that I don't even care to try to put my 2 cents worth into. For instance, when you go to a place, lets say Banh Tanh market. My wife will argue over a damn penny with some of the vendors there. I have tried to interject in these proceedings and have learned my lesson !! Like many Vietnamese women, she is very very frugal. I on the other hand, am very bad at saving money. So, in this area I am glad to let her have her way. Time will only tell if things will change though, and to be honest I love her enough that I would probably let her have her way every time.

[luckytxn 2,263]

My wife is now in the kitchen making many favorite persuasions right at the moment.

[hniHnitsuJ 8]

Living in a small town from Viet Nam. There is only 1 way street. Therefore, my wife mentality is only HER-WAY OR NO-WAY.

[Dai. 7]

My wife is in the kitchen making me a sandwhich.

[SuperDuper! 230]

So. "Bossy Vietnamese women" against Macho USA men."

Who is destined to win such a battle?? Many marriages are betting on this! Who has the answer?

[luckytxn 2,263]

My wife is in the kitchen making me a sandwhich.

Life is good.

[Anh map 2,098]

For those of you who have Viet fiancee or wife...do you think they are bossy? My two ex-wives sure was. I hope my current fiancee doesn't become like that later on.

I think that you have spotted a trend. 1=2=3

[ScottThuy 140]

Thuy isnt bossy and she will tell you that herself... she is just very determined when she makes a decision... thats a good thing to me...

Being frugal is a good thing also and IMO its built into the culture to some degree... In northern VN the women make the decisions and handle the money... would you consider the person that controls the $, raises the children and makes the decisions to be a bossy person? IMO its not being bossy its more about making sure the system keeps working and the family is strong... Thuys mother always handled the $ and Thuy never had to hagle.. its something I actually had to teach her... it pissed her off when she realized how much she had overspent over the years not knowing that hagling was expected in most places in VN...

if both people have similar enough goals, expectations and values.. it wont seem so bossy and more along the lines as the right thing being done at the time..

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Thuy isnt bossy and she will tell you that herself... she is just very determined when she makes a decision... thats a good thing to me...

Being frugal is a good thing also and IMO its built into the culture to some degree... In northern VN the women make the decisions and handle the money... would you consider the person that controls the $, raises the children and makes the decisions to be a bossy person? IMO its not being bossy its more about making sure the system keeps working and the family is strong... Thuys mother always handled the $ and Thuy never had to hagle.. its something I actually had to teach her... it pissed her off when she realized how much she had overspent over the years not knowing that hagling was expected in most places in VN...

if both people have similar enough goals, expectations and values.. it wont seem so bossy and more along the lines as the right thing being done at the time..

Phuong was a single parent for years, so she's a master of haggling. My sister and her husband came with me on my third trip to VN. We went shopping at one of those big indoor flea markets - the ones where half the vendors are selling the same cheap souvenirs. Besides Hue, I also saw them in Da Nang and Da Lat, so I presume they also have them in the north.

My sister was amazed at the low prices each vendor was quoting her, until Phuong stepped in and started using her bargaining skills. She'd patiently discuss the price with the vendor, and when the vendor stopped going down on the price she'd take my sister's arm and start walking her away from the vendor's booth. Without fail, the vendor always dropped the price by another few thousand VND before Phuong and my sister were out of earshot.

My sister thought $10 was a great price for one of those cheap souvenir cone hats with the embroidered image and text. Phuong got her that hat for about $1.50.

[just phobulous 2]

Phuong was a single parent for years, so she's a master of haggling. My sister and her husband came with me on my third trip to VN. We went shopping at one of those big indoor flea markets - the ones where half the vendors are selling the same cheap souvenirs. Besides Hue, I also saw them in Da Nang and Da Lat, so I presume they also have them in the north.

My sister was amazed at the low prices each vendor was quoting her, until Phuong stepped in and started using her bargaining skills. She'd patiently discuss the price with the vendor, and when the vendor stopped going down on the price she'd take my sister's arm and start walking her away from the vendor's booth. Without fail, the vendor always dropped the price by another few thousand VND before Phuong and my sister were out of earshot.

My sister thought $10 was a great price for one of those cheap souvenir cone hats with the embroidered image and text. Phuong got her that hat for about $1.50.

That sounds soo familiar !!! When I found something I liked at the market, my wife would actually tell me to go and stand around the corner. Just as soon as I was around the corner, the fur would fly (only kidding). It was kind of funny because the person running the booth would tell her that they saw her walking with her American boyfriend or husband, and that should could surely afford the asking price. That is when she would start the chewing and doing the walking away thing that you mentioned. I think one time I saw a vendor talk my wife back to her booth about five times. On another occasion I saw a T-shirt that I wanted badly and my wife argued the starting price of $7.50 down to a little over $2.00. She always acts very proud that she saved us a little money. When I think about it, it makes me feel very happy that she would go through so much trouble to save us a few dollars.

[luckytxn 2,263]

Thuy isnt bossy and she will tell you that herself... she is just very determined when she makes a decision... thats a good thing to me...

Being frugal is a good thing also and IMO its built into the culture to some degree... In northern VN the women make the decisions and handle the money... would you consider the person that controls the $, raises the children and makes the decisions to be a bossy person? IMO its not being bossy its more about making sure the system keeps working and the family is strong... Thuys mother always handled the $ and Thuy never had to hagle.. its something I actually had to teach her... it pissed her off when she realized how much she had overspent over the years not knowing that hagling was expected in most places in VN...

if both people have similar enough goals, expectations and values.. it wont seem so bossy and more along the lines as the right thing being done at the time..

What I saw while there was that every girl was raised to help care for their brothers and sisters and other from an early age. They are actually raised to be mothers almost from birth. Each and every girl I saw would make sure the other kids were gotten ready and cared for. They would also help care for the household as they got older. They did all the cooking and cleaning and shopping and anything that needed done and usually had the jobs or brought in money by other means. Now of course I was out in the country more or less and it may be different with city babes but it was my perception.

My wife thinks she is my mother. She treats me like a kid. I remind her I am much older and wiser and also bigger to boot but she still does it. She is frugal and I hand her a any excess cash and she does go through and take all the change out of my pockets. Somehow she has amassed a big nest egg. I don't mind though but it was annoying at first but she has grown on me and I plan to keep her.

[decker 1]

My wife runs me like a rented mule.

Funny story concerning the haggling thing... Linh lived in Cambodia for a while when she was a kid and speaks Khmer. We were in the central market in Phnom Penh and I was looking at some doodad and passing the calculator back and forth with the girl. She is talking with a buddy and apparently said something Linh did not like. Linh launched into her and sent the girl scampering like a scalded dog. Came back all smiles. The lesson here is no matter while you are, somebody speaks your language.

[journey4life 0]

This is enough information to make me doubt this kind of realationship . must be hard being told what to do most of the time . Good luck !