It's possible I made a mistake... is it too late to fix?

[LemonMeringue 6]

Hi everyone! First off, I'd like to start by saying thank you to everyone who posts on VisaJourney, your experience and tips and the website in and of itself has been an absolute gold mine of information and support. It is thanks to all of you that I have finally submitted my I-129F for my fiance. I have already received the NOA1 which was very exciting, of course. )

Now I have been browsing the website even more deeply, and have come to realize that I may have a slight problem. My fiance is Nigerian, and we had an engagement ceremony to celebrate our engagement. There are a few threads already about this topic and discovered them tonight. In my I-129f petition I included photos of the history of our relationship, and I included the engagement party photos as well (thinking it would help our petition). It has come to my attention that the US Embassy in Nigeria may consider this as a marriage (and upon further research should not have been added as it is considered "too much information.") However, my fiance and I are not married and we did not go to the registry in Lagos to get married and we do not have marriage certificates. We are waiting for his arrival in the US to get married. So we are truly and honestly just engaged. To make things even more interesting, I am also about 4 months pregnant with our first child. Now I am having major anxiety thinking that we should have just gotten married and I could have filed the I-130 in the first place.

So my questions are as follows:

Are there any VisaJourney members with fiances in Nigeria that have been approved for the K-1 visa even after submitting photos of the engagement?

Would it possible to quickly go and get married in Nigeria and then send in the I-130 as well? (After I already received I-129f NOA1)

Should we just relax and leave the petition as it is, since we are just truly engaged?

I would just feel so much better if I heard from one person with a fiance in Nigeria that they submitted the engagement party photos and they were still approved for the K-1. I'm worried... thanks for the help, and thanks for reading. I really just want to feel better about this.

[memine 0]

his eyes is on the sparrow surely he is watching you.just relax, i did not send any engagement pictures but i know people that did so will help you out. you have a plus on the pregnancy aspect so just trust in god and wait for people's response to you take care.

[patient2010 93]

Hi everyone! First off, I'd like to start by saying thank you to everyone who posts on VisaJourney, your experience and tips and the website in and of itself has been an absolute gold mine of information and support. It is thanks to all of you that I have finally submitted my I-129F for my fiance. I have already received the NOA1 which was very exciting, of course. )

Now I have been browsing the website even more deeply, and have come to realize that I may have a slight problem. My fiance is Nigerian, and we had an engagement ceremony to celebrate our engagement. There are a few threads already about this topic and discovered them tonight. In my I-129f petition I included photos of the history of our relationship, and I included the engagement party photos as well (thinking it would help our petition). It has come to my attention that the US Embassy in Nigeria may consider this as a marriage (and upon further research should not have been added as it is considered "too much information.") However, my fiance and I are not married and we did not go to the registry in Lagos to get married and we do not have marriage certificates. We are waiting for his arrival in the US to get married. So we are truly and honestly just engaged. To make things even more interesting, I am also about 4 months pregnant with our first child. Now I am having major anxiety thinking that we should have just gotten married and I could have filed the I-130 in the first place.

So my questions are as follows:

Are there any VisaJourney members with fiances in Nigeria that have been approved for the K-1 visa even after submitting photos of the engagement?

Would it possible to quickly go and get married in Nigeria and then send in the I-130 as well? (After I already received I-129f NOA1)

Should we just relax and leave the petition as it is, since we are just truly engaged?

I would just feel so much better if I heard from one person with a fiance in Nigeria that they submitted the engagement party photos and they were still approved for the K-1. I'm worried... thanks for the help, and thanks for reading. I really just want to feel better about this.

I first want to say welcome to VJ, second congratulations on the baby on the way and third good luck on your journey

I dont think there is a definite answer to your question because it could go either way however I have read in the months that I have been on VJ that the consulate in Lagos is very picky when it comes to those engagement ceremonies. But please dont stress too much because you are with child. hopefully someone will be able to answer your question in detail. Again welcome and good luck on your journey

[LemonMeringue 6]

Yes, I have heard from reading the forums that they think the engagement ceremony is a real marriage and will deny the K-1 visa and tell the couple they have to start over!! This is what I am worried about! With the baby on the way, I really don't have time to go through the whole process just to get denied and start all over again! (It would also be so very expensive). That is why I would really love to hear from someone that did submit pictures of their engagement and did not encounter any problems at the embassy. If it is going to be a definite problem, would it be better to go back to Nigeria and get married, and then just start the process over as a married couple? I just very recently received the NOA1 for his I-129f. This is worrying me so much. Thanks.

[DebbyNSeyi 15]

Yes, I have heard from reading the forums that they think the engagement ceremony is a real marriage and will deny the K-1 visa and tell the couple they have to start over!! This is what I am worried about! With the baby on the way, I really don't have time to go through the whole process just to get denied and start all over again! (It would also be so very expensive). That is why I would really love to hear from someone that did submit pictures of their engagement and did not encounter any problems at the embassy. If it is going to be a definite problem, would it be better to go back to Nigeria and get married, and then just start the process over as a married couple? I just very recently received the NOA1 for his I-129f. This is worrying me so much. Thanks.

My first petition for my then-fiance was for a K-1 visa. It was denied for a totally different reason, so we married and I filed an I-130. This info is just to explain to you why my timeline now shows a CR-1 visa journey. That being said, let me add that before I filed an I-129-F, we had a huge engagement party in Nigeria for all his friends & family (we even had matching outfits! ) The idea being that since the plan was to get married in the States, at least they'd be able to share in our joy thru an engagement party there. We included plenty of photos from this party as part of our pile of photos for the Embassy interview. No one ever questioned our engagement party as anything more than a party. HOWEVER, this was a regular party; NOT the "traditional" Nigerian introduction & engagement - where money and/or gifts are exchanged and certain cultural rituals are followed. Furthermore, I am caucasian and not nigerian by ethnicity; that might also be a reason that our engagement party was not considered anything more than just a party.

If yours was a "traditional" engagement and/or you are also of Nigerian ancestry, I would be somewhat concerned about a possible visa denial. If your engagement party was just that - a party - I wouldn't be too concerned. A lot really depends on the Consular Officer that does the interview. The only advice I can offer is that for the interview, don't offer up photos from the party; downplay it and provide photos from any of the other times you guys have spent together.

[LemonMeringue 6]

Thanks everyone for the responses so far, I really appreciate it. I am still unclear as to what to do exactly. I am afraid I am going to worry about this until the interview. Also, by the time the interview comes around, I may be too far along in the pregnancy to fly out to Lagos for his interview, or the baby may be very little still, and I would be unable to make it. Does anyone think that will make a big difference for us?

[patient2010 93]

I dont think you being there or not being there for the interview will make a big difference if you can go then go but if not dont worry there have been plenty of people that have not gone and still gotten the visa and there have been some that have gone and have not gotten the visa it just depends on the interviewing officer as stated before. good luck

[LemonMeringue 6]

Thanks for that, that is what I was thinking, anyways he can just let them know that I was too far along to make it... but what I really want to know is, has the embassy been categorically denying any and all K-1 petitions if the couple has pictures of their engagement? That is what I am worried about. And we truly aren't even married! It's awful to think they would do that, and they know they wouldn't approve a CR-1 with just an engagement! You have to have a marriage certificate, which we don't have yet, because we are not married. Totally ridiculous. And I added those pictures thinking it would help our case. Yikes.

[PurpleSky 19]

Try not to stress yourself too much honey. What I have found especially where our beloved Nigerians are concerned is that everything is subjective. It all depends on how that particular CO is feeling at that time. Seriously. So your best bet is not to stress. Just put your energy into preparing your case to say this relationship is real, we are only engaged, we are getting married in the US, etc. I would even get a signed statement from those in attendance saying it was only a party and not a marriage ceremony. You will have enough stress with waiting don't add to it. you included the pictures. It's done. Now it's time to prepare for the interview while you wait for approval of the petition. We're here for you.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Thanks everyone for the responses so far, I really appreciate it. I am still unclear as to what to do exactly. I am afraid I am going to worry about this until the interview. Also, by the time the interview comes around, I may be too far along in the pregnancy to fly out to Lagos for his interview, or the baby may be very little still, and I would be unable to make it. Does anyone think that will make a big difference for us?

What we think makes no difference. Some people at Lagos have been denied for this, some have not been denied for this. You included the photos with your petition, they will be forwarded to the consulate. Did you make a mistake? Maybe. Can you change it? No. But clearly it is not an issue for people otherwise prepared, and clearly you can be denied for other reasons.

The time is now to gather the rest of your evidence for your relationship, look forward to where you are going, not backward to where you have been. Prepare your fiance, make sure he can answer any questions if needed and get on with it. There is no possibility that discussing or worrying about this subject can help your case, move on to things that can.

Good luck,

Edited October 13, 2010 by Gary and Alla

[angel73 0]

Hi Ms Lovy, first congrats on your child. But try not to stress yourself out to much. I now it easy for us to say, but pleae take it easy. You are at a very good website. We are family and we will help you any way we can. But as for me, my finance (at the time) we brought his pictures to the interview and it was successful. Our pictures were like a wedding cermoney. Well I guess it all depends on the person who interview. But if you would like I can email you the pictures and show you my pictures. Take care

[adecrown 0]

Hi, I did the same thing b4 I found out about this website. I was worrying about it but now I just leave everything in God's hand. I freaked out wen I read it n so I did a little research. According to Nigeria law, u are "legally married" (traditionally) if money was given on the day of ur introduction or if ur dad asked for it(weather it was given or nit). I think as long as no one ask for money n non was given on that day u should be ok n like every1 said, it depends on the CO so just keep on praying n stop worrying. God will certainly give u the best.

[Nik+Heather 121]

Another thing which may be helpful to you is that the embassy is not supposed to re-adjudicate based on evidence available to USCIS at the time of the petition approval - so, if the USCIS approved your petition with these pictures they "shouldn't" be able to use them against you. Of course, that doesn't mean that they won't be looking for something else...

You and your fiance should read through the embassy reviews to see how others have reported their embassy interview experience and be prepared. Forewarned is forearmed!

[GreatGuy 0]

I understand the basis of your being worried. I cant put things in better words that "Gary and Alla" comment above. Just to add a little word of encouragement: always convert your worries/fear to prayers when you have no control over a situation like this.

Also, please know that Lagos Embassy WILL NOT allow you as the petitioner to enter into the Embassy on the day of your fiance's interview. So, dont even think about the option of going with him to the interview.

Be strong as you start this waiting race. I realize now that waiting is one of the most difficult state to be in life! But all will be well, eventually. Stay calm.

Peace to your heart,

GreatGuy.

[LemonMeringue 6]

Okay wow, thanks everyone! So glad to get some concrete answers, what I have been looking for! I do feel better and what Nik+Heather said is very interesting, that I did not know about! Angel73, yes I would love to see your pictures! I will try and email you (I am new on the site and not sure how to email yet but I will try). I really thank each and every one of you for your responses... I do feel a lot better now. I will keep you all updated. Thanks again.