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GED Exam answers!

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thongd4me Experienced

thongd4me   69

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Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: Thailand
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The following questions were set in last year's GED examination

These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds).

Q. Name the four seasons

A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink

A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large

pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed

A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans

A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water

tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon,

and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on

A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections

A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids

A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot

yourself now , there is little hope)

Q.. What happens to your body as you age

A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty

A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

(So true)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes

A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination

A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour

A. Keep it in the cow

(Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)

A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the

abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains

the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels:

A, E, I,O,U.. (#######!)

Q. What is the fibula?

A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?

A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control

A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium

(That would work)

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'

A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?

A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I

came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness

A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?

A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning

A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?

A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)

Q. What is a turbine?

A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head.

02/2003 - Met

08/24/09 I-129F; 09/02 NOA1; 10/14 NOA2; 11/24 interview; 11/30 K-1 VISA (92 d); 12/29 POE 12/31/09 Marriage

03/29/-04/06/10 - AOS sent/rcd; 04/13 NOA1; AOS 2 NBC

04/14 $1010 cashed; 04/19 NOA1

04/28 Biom.

06/16 EAD/AP

06/24 Infops; AP mail

06/28 EAD mail; travel 2 BKK; return 07/17

07/20/10 interview, 4d. b4 I-129F anniv. APPROVAL!*

08/02/10 GC

08/09/10 SSN

2012-05-16 Lifting Cond. - I-751 sent

2012-06-27 Biom,

2013-01-10 7 Mo, 2 Wks. & 5 days - 10 Yr. PR Card (no interview)

*2013-04-22 Apply for citizenship (if she desires at that time) 90 days prior to 3yr anniversary of P. Residence

ValerieA Experienced

ValerieA   350

Posted
Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: Canada
 Timeline
Posted

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink

A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large

pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

I can see how flirtation would get a canoeist out of the water, actually. Spooky can let us know if it works on dead sheep.

Post on Adjudicators's Field Manual re: AOS and Intent: My link
Wedding Date: 06/14/2009
POE at Pearson Airport - for a visit, did not intend to stay - 10/09/2009
Found VisaJourney and created an account - 10/19/2009

I-130 (approved as part of the CR-1 process):
Sent 10/01/2009
NOA1 10/07/2009
NOA2 02/10/2010

AOS:
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Interview - approved! 07/29/10 need to send in completed I-693 (doctor missed answering a couple of questions) - sent back same day
Green card received 08/20/10

ROC:
Sent 06/01/2012
Approved 02/27/2013

Green card received 05/08/2013

Nik+Heather Experienced

Nik+Heather   122

Posted
Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: United Kingdom
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Posted

Although funny, I'm not sure how it can be real what with all the biology questions and abstinence only education....

I'm not sure I learned what a turbine was in school (probably in a museum though) until I was in college, either.

K-1:

January 28, 2009: NOA1

June 4, 2009: Interview - APPROVED!!!

October 11, 2009: Wedding

AOS:

December 23, 2009: NOA1!

January 22, 2010: Bogus RFE corrected through congressional inquiry "EAD waiting on biometrics only" Read about it here.

March 15, 2010: AOS interview - RFE for I-693 vaccination supplement - CS signed part 6!

March 27, 2010: Green Card recieved

ROC:

March 1, 2012: Mailed ROC package

March 7, 2012: Tracking says "notice left"...after a phone call to post office.

More detailed time line in profile.

thongd4me Experienced

thongd4me   69

Posted
Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: Thailand
 Timeline
  • Author
Posted

Although funny, I'm not sure how it can be real what with all the biology questions and abstinence only education....

I'm not sure I learned what a turbine was in school (probably in a museum though) until I was in college, either.

I think it's real - those folks didn't make it through high school.

If not real, at least it's an entertaining fabrication.

Malapropisms are time-honored skill by native-born Americans (Archie Bunker).

02/2003 - Met

08/24/09 I-129F; 09/02 NOA1; 10/14 NOA2; 11/24 interview; 11/30 K-1 VISA (92 d); 12/29 POE 12/31/09 Marriage

03/29/-04/06/10 - AOS sent/rcd; 04/13 NOA1; AOS 2 NBC

04/14 $1010 cashed; 04/19 NOA1

04/28 Biom.

06/16 EAD/AP

06/24 Infops; AP mail

06/28 EAD mail; travel 2 BKK; return 07/17

07/20/10 interview, 4d. b4 I-129F anniv. APPROVAL!*

08/02/10 GC

08/09/10 SSN

2012-05-16 Lifting Cond. - I-751 sent

2012-06-27 Biom,

2013-01-10 7 Mo, 2 Wks. & 5 days - 10 Yr. PR Card (no interview)

*2013-04-22 Apply for citizenship (if she desires at that time) 90 days prior to 3yr anniversary of P. Residence

Canadiandggal Proficient

Canadiandggal   49

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Canada
 Timeline
Posted

Haha. I laughed my butt off and then called my husband to tell him these. Although he agrees with above poster and thinks this cannot be a real GED exam answers as the questions seem to be Off topic. Still funny :P

~~~Marriage : 2009-07-10~~~

~~~I-130 Sent : 2009-11-24~~~

~~~ Medical : 2010-09-28~~~ ~~~ MTL Interview : 2010-10-20~~~ ~~~ APPROVED~~~

~~~POE Date :2010-10-31~~~ ~~~Received SSN's 2010-11-08~~

~~~Welcome Letter/Notice Receipt :2010-11-30~~~ ~~~Received Our Green Cards 2010-12-06~~~

~~~ ROC :2012-08-20~~~ ~~~NOA1 :2012-08-28~~~ ~~~BIO :2012-09-25~~~~

age.png

age.png

event.png

~~~Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.~~~

 

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