I think I'm going nuts

[rebeccajo 14]

*sigh*

When my husband immigrated over here for good on Sept. 15 of last year, we had a plan.

We needed for him to be working within about nine months. That has happened but I know it's not a job he really likes. Plus its 25 miles one way from our house and he has to arrange to ride with someone else. The one week I transported him I filled my gas tank 3 times. Multiply that by what you know you are paying for gas these days and see if that fits into your budget. Right not he's about to change shifts and he is needing to find another ride.

We needed for me to find a better job. I keep having interviews and nothing happens. Each time I go for another my self-confidence takes another blow. Usually if I could get an interview I could get the job. I can't figure it out.

We knew we would have to move by next summer. Our house is too large and my son is moving to college next fall. We really can't afford to stay here. Because our financial plans haven't worked out we've got the house for sale now. After 2 months on the market we still don't have a buyer. We keep looking for a smaller home but nobody will make a contract with us because ours is not sold. I'm having a hard time grasping the concept of how we are supposed to wait till we have a buyer before we can select a house. Just because my buyer found something doesn't mean there will be a house on the market that meets our needs. It scares the hell out of me.

Wes had his AOS interview March 9 but we still don't have is greencard. Namecheck hell. He has the occasional dream where the men in black come to our door to collect him.

I feel like my entire world is upside down. I don't know where I will be living or working this time next year. I don't know if Wes will be happy with his life. Basically I am so full of worry I spend too much time on this machine or sleeping. I let my household chores go. I can still laugh, have fun, and do my job. But my mind is always wandering and I keep going 'if if if if if if if'.......

The econony here is not great but I really thought we would have our act together within 18 months. Now I'm worried I'm gonna be living in a cardboard box.

What the hell is the matter with me? Shouldn't I be happy that at least Wes and I are together? Why isn't that enough?

####### I hate it when I spill my guts on here.

[Tim and Bethanie 1]

Hugs to ya Rebecca, things are bound to give soon! You have the same worries as everyone else, try not to let them pile up so much on you.

Bethanie

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Shouldn't I be happy that at least Wes and I are together? Why isn't that enough?

Rebecca,

Because love is not enough. Budgets do need to be balanced and when that doesn't work out, it can be painful.

I am sorry you are going through what you are going through. Have you given any thought at all to relocating?

Looking forward to a positive update from you in the near future

[rebeccajo 14]

Thanks Bethanie. That's what Wes says...that all it's gonna take is one thing and the rest will fall into place.

AJ, thanks. As for relocating that's not really an option in the immediate future. One more year of high school for the boy, you know.

Sometimes I think I wouldn't mind moving to Charlotte, NC. I hear there's lots of work there. Would be good to have the greencard before we up and go anyplace though. Even across town.

[LaL 418]

I am sorry becca. I am not one to post *willy nilly* congrats or im sorries, but in this case, because I mean it, I will.

If its not one thing to worry about, its another. Just years strung along filled with the next *step*. compound that with financial changes, adjustment and whatever else is thrown our way and whooooah #######... its just one step too many. over and over again. its a ball breaking process and ur a survivor!

[meauxna 15]

I'm feelin' ya, mama. That's all I've got right now.

On your house---make sure *your* agent is telling sellers that you'll do a rent back? Or ask her for ideas to get the fire lit. This is, afterall, her job that she hopefully does every day.

PS: Charlotte sounds really cool IMO.

[geezer 1]

Yes I Think you are nuts for posting a serious question on any online forum. Dont you know this is strictly for entertainment purposes only. Soon folks will be passing out popcorn, your question will be totally ignored and there will even be a few making fun of you....if they do happen to respond to the post instead of making pages and pages if inane comments for thier own amusement..

Talk to you husband get the hell off the board with serious stuff..

[rebeccajo 14]

Yes I Think you are nuts for posting a serious question on any online forum. Dont you know this is strictly for entertainment purposes only. Soon folks will be passing out popcorn, your question will be totally ignored and there will even be a few making fun of you....if they do happen to respond to the post instead of making pages and pages if inane comments for thier own amusement..

Talk to you husband get the hell off the board with serious stuff..

NOW I remember why I spend so much time here. You are right. Entertainment.

[CarolineM 0]

??? ####### ???

Rebecca...I am so sorry you are going through this right now. I know how tough it can be - and keeping EVERYONE's happieness in mind...including your son. I have no advice, only my sympathies and my hope that things get better soon...

[luvaLimey 0]

Becca, you've always been here for other forum members with sound advice, and a great perspective.

I'm hoping that you'll be blessed with what you need right now in your life. I've always had this belief that things happen for a reason. I have no idea right at this time why you're going through ths, but I do know that there will be an end to this stress.

As for simply being happy you're together, I think you already knew life wouldn't be sunshine and roses simply becuase he's there. but him being there does mean you have someone to hold you at night, someone to stand by your side during the dark and stormy times.

It's ok to vent, it's ok to cry... and it's ok to smile when something wonderful happens. Hope things get better for you.

[Jersey Girl 2]

Sorry rebecca that things aren't working out as originally planned. But all is not lost. You both still have jobs and that's a plus. The real estate market is cyclical and will be more robust at some point. You're getting interviews and that means people are interested. You have ideas about moving to a state where there's more employment. The greencard is on its way. You're nowhere near a cardboard box except for moving.

If you have faith, now's the time to reach out for help. I believe God allows trials because they're occassions when we start talking to him in earnest. It may be time to be grateful for all you have and to ask for a better situation.

Whatever you do, don't allow yourself to lose hope or self confidence. This is a rough patch you didn't know was coming, but you can get through this together. Big hugs and a cuppa tea coming your way!

[saturn5man 0]

Yes I Think you are nuts for posting a serious question on any online forum. Dont you know this is strictly for entertainment purposes only. Soon folks will be passing out popcorn, your question will be totally ignored and there will even be a few making fun of you....if they do happen to respond to the post instead of making pages and pages if inane comments for thier own amusement..

Talk to you husband get the hell off the board with serious stuff..

Doesn't look as if compassion is your strong point. Shame that, as pretty much everyone needs some, from time to time. Maybe your married life will always be perfect but, if not, I hope that your lady knows what she might be in for...

[MrMrsKnight 1]

Becca, I don't have much to say but I've learned from my parents (and personal experiences too) that things always fall into place and get better. So focus on what you can do to improve the "right now" moment (a bath, a serious talk with hubby, a movie that takes you away from the everyday problems, coming up with a plan... what ever you think it is...) and know that it'll always be okay, even if you still can't see the light at the end... it'll come

Have positive/realistic thoughts and don't stop moving.. it'll get you somewhere!

Edited August 13, 2006 by MrMrsKnight

[rebeccajo 14]

Thanks all.

I haven't forgotten my blessings. That's one reason I get so annoyed with myself. And I do know that it will get better. I'm just kinda sick of it being heaped on all at once you know?

Pedro says I just need good sex.....LOL.......That DOES seem to do the trick but kinda right now I almost need it 24/7/365 to keep my mind occupied........

BTW meauxna whats a 'rent-back'? My realtor is not worth a milk bucket under a bull.

[Tim and Bethanie 1]

Yes I Think you are nuts for posting a serious question on any online forum. Dont you know this is strictly for entertainment purposes only. Soon folks will be passing out popcorn, your question will be totally ignored and there will even be a few making fun of you....if they do happen to respond to the post instead of making pages and pages if inane comments for thier own amusement..

Talk to you husband get the hell off the board with serious stuff..

I think this is a bit uncalled for. It is a family based immigration forum. What better place than for her to post what they are experiencing, so many others go through similiar experiences and maybe some are unable to express themselves. It is the reality of what we are all going through. None of this is easy and what Rebecca is posting, simply shows even once together times can still be tough! One more hurdle some have to go through, so why not share?