stress stress and more stress!

[aishahossam 1]

i guess im just needing to vent,, im under so much stress this afternoon, i been with my husband since 2007 and finally alhamdillah in 2 weeks we have our interview inshallah, but i think to myself ,, my god the life is so short and how can strangers decide if my husband and i and the kids can be together in usa, ugh, i know i sound like im whineing or something but someone that we dont even know is gonna decide in 15 mins if we are a real couple or not? i just want this to end, i just want us to get approved get the visa and go home! im missing the kids so so muchhhhh i want a simple liffe, im tired of this journey, i just want to focus on whos gonna take the trash outside or worry in should i cook chicken or roast for supper?are we going to take the kids to the movies friday or saturday night? just normal things in life!!!every year i keep comming back to egypt to be with hossam and everytime i leave him here it gets harder and harder im sorry for this breakdown its just stressing, do they even realize how stressing this is for all of us? like when i was in hospital doing my surgerys and chemo for my cancer ,, i wanted my husband with me and when i woke i had my kids opening the laptop so we could open cam s and me and my husband talking through mic, him asking are u ok baby? wish i was there with you and so on to sit and watch the fireworks on the 4th of july and look to the right, pretending its hossam sitting there and saying happy 4th baby so many events i cant even count that we missed in our lifes,

i unders stand that usa has a job to protect its citizes from fraudulant marriages i get it, but damm this hurts

usa is nothing but immigrants,,, were allllllll immigrants!!!! the only true americans is the native americans!my familys roots goes back to ireland and germany,, as most of americans roots goes to a country outside usa,weve been together going on 4 years now, hes passed all criminal test, all medical all everything my god what they want now!

i apologize for my ranting i just needed to get this off my chest befor i exploded, good luck to all on this journey and may allah be with you always

[HappyRs 8]

i guess im just needing to vent,, im under so much stress this afternoon, i been with my husband since 2007 and finally alhamdillah in 2 weeks we have our interview inshallah, but i think to myself ,, my god the life is so short and how can strangers decide if my husband and i and the kids can be together in usa, ugh, i know i sound like im whineing or something but someone that we dont even know is gonna decide in 15 mins if we are a real couple or not? i just want this to end, i just want us to get approved get the visa and go home! im missing the kids so so muchhhhh i want a simple liffe, im tired of this journey, i just want to focus on whos gonna take the trash outside or worry in should i cook chicken or roast for supper?are we going to take the kids to the movies friday or saturday night? just normal things in life!!!every year i keep comming back to egypt to be with hossam and everytime i leave him here it gets harder and harder im sorry for this breakdown its just stressing, do they even realize how stressing this is for all of us? like when i was in hospital doing my surgerys and chemo for my cancer ,, i wanted my husband with me and when i woke i had my kids opening the laptop so we could open cam s and me and my husband talking through mic, him asking are u ok baby? wish i was there with you and so on to sit and watch the fireworks on the 4th of july and look to the right, pretending its hossam sitting there and saying happy 4th baby so many events i cant even count that we missed in our lifes,

i unders stand that usa has a job to protect its citizes from fraudulant marriages i get it, but damm this hurts

usa is nothing but immigrants,,, were allllllll immigrants!!!! the only true americans is the native americans!my familys roots goes back to ireland and germany,, as most of americans roots goes to a country outside usa,weve been together going on 4 years now, hes passed all criminal test, all medical all everything my god what they want now!

i apologize for my ranting i just needed to get this off my chest befor i exploded, good luck to all on this journey and may allah be with you always

I feel for you ; this entire process can be so slow and all we actually want is to be with our loved ones and no more long goodbyes. hang in there; it's almost over for you! Come back in 2 weeks and tell us all how it went

[And_Sam 44]

Aishah~

It's ok honey, go ahead and vent. We have all been there before. It's the stress of the whole thing! Just remember, that you are coming to the end of your VJ to get your hubby here. Just think how far you have come so far!! Right now is the time to put your faith in Allah. Just remember he doesn't give you more than you can handle!

You will see that the next 2 weeks you will be a nervous wreck! You have to focus and think, you have gone over everything and got all your paperwork in order, there is nothing else you can do but give it to Allah. Remember to breathe deeply and enjoy your time in Egypt with your husband. Why stress over something that you have no control over?

Things will go fine my friend! Have some fun and try to relax. Focus on the goodness in life!!!

~Andrea

[Liz Rodriguez 1]

I feel like you do and I have not even begun the process yet. I just keep wondering if it would not just be easier to move there or Qatar where he will be working. I wonder if it would be less stressful to have everything done but be able to stay longer with Taha. I have so many problems right now anyway that just thinking about this process makes me crazy. I know it is not as bad as cancer but with the people that are suppose to be helping me through some of this stuff turning around and trying to get me into more trouble then I am already in. I just cry at night because Taha keeps telling me you are strong enough to get through this. I am not going anywhere I am right here when you need me but it doesnt always work to where he is here when I need him. I cant cry on his shoulder or feel his arms around me holding. And my trip keeps getting pushed back farther and farther to where it looks like I wont be able to go until at least December when I thought I would be leaving tomorrow to go over to see him. Then it was going to be July but he is going back to Qatar to work so we have money when I do go over and for all the paperwork filing to be done. And with August being Ramadon I would be too much of a temptaion or he would be for me during that time which ever way you want to look at it. Then the kids start school in September so then their next break isnt until winter break in december so maybe then I will be able to go over. Maybe. I hear you on the stress points. I know you miss your kids and want everything to be over quickly. But you have made it this far and you have the interview you have been waiting for so long for soon. You just have to keep looking at the positives. He loves you and you know that. You guys just have to show the people that he loves you and wants to be with you. Look at the positives you have in front of you, you have Hossom and you are with him right now. Your kids love you and your cancer is in remission. Those are positives that will keep you going through all of this. No matter what Hossom will be with you while you are there and in your heart when you come home, if you have to leave him there again. Inshaallah you owont. just be strong sister and you will be bringing him home with you and you will have the rest of your lives together. Then you will think back on all the times that you were apart and then you will think to yourself I made it through all of that and my husband still loves me even with all the craziness. Just rejoice in all blessings around you. And take care of yourself. oh and of Hossom too. LOL

[wendy&tamer 10]

You know this is the only site I can go and really understand what Im feeling. Tamer and I have been together for 4 years and through ups and downs in both our lives. I am so thankful for this site and knowing I am not alone on this journey, you must know we are all behind you and believe this process for you is soon over. We are all thinking of you and praying for you. You are strong (we all have the break-downs) I had to laugh when you talked about the 4 July. I look to my right all the time and wonder what it will be like to have him besid me always. The goodbyes do get harder each time. I hope soon you wont have to say those anymore (only when you are both headed to work). Try to enjoy your time there with him and not obsess over the interview, try to remain calm (I know its easier said than done). You are both confident in your love and that is what matters. You have a man to your side now who supports you and is also your strength. Go out and take a break from the papers and enjoy an evening out walking and talking of your future plans and just enjoy the day. Best wishes dear. Enshallah it will be good news for the both of you. Have a wonderful time with your husband. Where are you now in Egypt?

[aishahossam 1]

You know this is the only site I can go and really understand what Im feeling. Tamer and I have been together for 4 years and through ups and downs in both our lives. I am so thankful for this site and knowing I am not alone on this journey, you must know we are all behind you and believe this process for you is soon over. We are all thinking of you and praying for you. You are strong (we all have the break-downs) I had to laugh when you talked about the 4 July. I look to my right all the time and wonder what it will be like to have him besid me always. The goodbyes do get harder each time. I hope soon you wont have to say those anymore (only when you are both headed to work). Try to enjoy your time there with him and not obsess over the interview, try to remain calm (I know its easier said than done). You are both confident in your love and that is what matters. You have a man to your side now who supports you and is also your strength. Go out and take a break from the papers and enjoy an evening out walking and talking of your future plans and just enjoy the day. Best wishes dear. Enshallah it will be good news for the both of you. Have a wonderful time with your husband. Where are you now in Egypt?

hey nthanks everyonane for your replys and im doing my best to think positive,,, im now in tor sina , spent 2 weeks with hubby on red sea and moses mountain and tomorrow :bonk:inshallah will travel back to cairo, im sorry again for the venting just stressing and such

[FaithfulandTrue 6]

I pray all will be well with you and your husband... God bless you

[tenderheartusa79 14]

Aisha i do understand what you talking about .But try to relax my friend and please don't let them see that you are that nervous .Everything will be good insha'Allah .Just try to think positive like they will issue him the visa and he will have it in his hand after a few days so he can go back to USA with you .

Good luck and my best wishes for you .My fingers crossed for ya .

[Staashi 371]

Aisha, if I was you, I would approach it differently - expect the worst, pray for the best. Have all your ducks in a row, all your evidence in order, and make sure that any glaring red flags - your age difference, your kids by previous marriage, etc, etc are all explained by him in a manner that he is assuredly convincing. The COs know these things aren't cultural norms so they will pounce on him.

Furthermore, I would just anticipate AP and maybe even AR right now. They are pretty much a given and not receiving them is quite rare for Cairo.

Best of luck!

[aishahossam 1]

Aisha, if I was you, I would approach it differently - expect the worst, pray for the best. Have all your ducks in a row, all your evidence in order, and make sure that any glaring red flags - your age difference, your kids by previous marriage, etc, etc are all explained by him in a manner that he is assuredly convincing. The COs know these things aren't cultural norms so they will pounce on him. cairo i

Furthermore, I would just anticipate AP and maybe even AR right now. They are pretty much a given and not receiving them is quite rare for Cairo.

Best of luck!

than k u for your advice but i must say this without trying to sound callus but, the part not gettting ap in caIRO Is rare?,,, well theres beeen quite a few lately whom been getting thier visas in 10 days or less, second the age difference, ours isnt alot snd we been together almost 4 years and ive been to egypt 4 times now and lived here also for awhile witheep him with zillions of pics of me and his family so i think that one is pretty much squashed, the thing with me having kids from a prior marriage ,, welll we have proof that hossam is actively involved with the kids school . teachers , counselor and principle,, so i think thats a plus alos, plus letters from my drs and friends and family of me and hossams love and his family and friends also,,, 4 yrs to b e with someone plus the fact that were just now going in front of the embassy is a good thing i believe, anyways thanks to all for your advice ill keep u all posted

[Mithra 1,185]

Aisha,

It sounds like you have a lot of evidence and that's great. Cairo is an unpredictable consulate so being mentally prepared for some sort of AP is just a smart way to go. Even with tons of evidence it's possible to get AP. Will you get it? Who knows. But being mentally prepared for a wait is better than thinking you're home free and then getting really upset and disappointed when it turns out you have to wait. I think that's what Staashi was getting at. I wish you and your husband the best and I do hope that he gets his visa quickly. AP is not fun.

Edited June 10, 2010 by je veux ton amour

[Staashi 371]

Aisha,

It sounds like you have a lot of evidence and that's great. Cairo is an unpredictable consulate so being mentally prepared for some sort of AP is just a smart way to go. Even with tons of evidence it's possible to get AP. Will you get it? Who knows. But being mentally prepared for a wait is better than thinking you're home free and then getting really upset and disappointed when it turns out you have to wait. I think that's what Staashi was getting at. I wish you and your husband the best and I do hope that he gets his visa quickly. AP is not fun.

That is totally what I was getting at - prepare for the worst (AP), hope for the best (no AP). Also, AP really isn't the worst - a denial is...but you could find yourself in a situation like HotGuy and it last for MONTHS. Now that is the worst.

Edited June 10, 2010 by Staashi

[aishahossam 1]

yes i hear you both and im nopt thinking im home free if i was i wouldnt be stressing,ap can happen to anyone and this i know, im just saying i beeen studyhing the embassy from vj site and from im help and other places and looks like theyve gotten easier to handle considering how they were a yaear a go 2 years ago or even 6 months ago an ywayt good luck to all!

[anitacastillo 0]

To add my two cents - there are different types of AP. They may believe your relationship and want to give you the visa, but his name doesn't clear the Washington DC computers. Clearing his name could be quick or slow -- no telling.

I was unfortunately one of those who thought for sure we would get the visa and was devastated when we were placed on AP. My husband shares the name & country of a big drug dealer in NY and was on AP for 10 months - but we survived.

Thinking positive thoughts for you!!!