VJ with Foreigner Hubby / Fiancee/Boyfriend

[pinkish 0]

I'm the loving kano hubby and my wife is a malambing Pinay. When we were getting to know one another, we talked every day, at least twice a day...every day. It was the same way when we were engaged, all the way until we were finally together again. If we did not talk cam2cam, we would talk by phone...every day! I think you will find that most couples here in the Philippines forum were in contact with each other each and every day while they were apart.

If your kano boyfriend truly cared for you, he would behave like a sweetheart and he would stay in touch with you on a regular basis, because this is what good boyfriends do...including kanos. I hope he is not making excuses about kanos being "independent" and "not that sweet" and I hope you are not trying to rationalize his behavior...or should I say...his misbehavior.

I would be very careful with this guy. If he is not sweet and dependable and consistent today, why would he change in the future? You deserve a guy who makes you feel special and you should never settle for second best. If you are not getting the lambing you need, maybe it's time you moved on.

Best wishes...

~ Tahoma

very well said tahoma, I appreciate your inputs about this matter, that's why i brought up this topic to know more about how westerner" american guy act and how do they show their love, my american bf told me that he loves me a lot and i beleive him because that's the only thing that i can give to him to continue our relationship since we haven't meet yet, i meet him in an online dating site, wherein he was the first one who emailed me many times, among all the guys who wrote me an email he was the only one who is eager and persistent to contact me many times, so i give him a chance and that was the start everyday he keep on chatting with me and sending me emails. but until now he never ask me for my number, so i did not question that and beg him to get my number, maybe for him no need since we chat and talk everyday.

but last saturday and yesterday, which is sunday, i never heard from him, so i was a bit worried why he never send me email via his blackberry mobile phone, i know he can't come online to chat and talk with me since he told me eversince that saturday and sunda is his time for his daughter. so i believe and understand him. but he can always send me email, so through saturday and sunday that no email is a big question for me, why he never emailed me, so i waited for him but still no email from him, so i decided to send him email to ask him if he's ok, then he replied me just today it's monday here in Phil, and sunday there here's what he told me on his message just wanna share

Hi im good.. iIt is now sunday evening 3pm i am going to go to work for a few hour tonight

i need to make extra money now, so i can save to come see you. I want to talk to you yesterday

but my aunt was here visiting and she was online all night. so sorry maybe i will talk tonight ok

I understand him, but somehow at the back of my mind, is it hard to send email via your phone, 2 minutes of his time is not that hard to do? hope am right? i did not reply him until now cause im still sad and confused, i am just so upset about what's going on, that's why im here to ask some questions insights or your opinion so you can help me figured out especially those who are american"kano guys i know it depends on the upbringing but still your comment is important to me. thanks and Godbless everyone

[Popcorn3210 0]

very well said tahoma, I appreciate your inputs about this matter, that's why i brought up this topic to know more about how westerner" american guy act and how do they show their love, my american bf told me that he loves me a lot and i beleive him because that's the only thing that i can give to him to continue our relationship since we haven't meet yet, i meet him in an online dating site, wherein he was the first one who emailed me many times, among all the guys who wrote me an email he was the only one who is eager and persistent to contact me many times, so i give him a chance and that was the start everyday he keep on chatting with me and sending me emails. but until now he never ask me for my number, so i did not question that and beg him to get my number, maybe for him no need since we chat and talk everyday.

but last saturday and yesterday, which is sunday, i never heard from him, so i was a bit worried why he never send me email via his blackberry mobile phone, i know he can't come online to chat and talk with me since he told me eversince that saturday and sunda is his time for his daughter. so i believe and understand him. but he can always send me email, so through saturday and sunday that no email is a big question for me, why he never emailed me, so i waited for him but still no email from him, so i decided to send him email to ask him if he's ok, then he replied me just today it's monday here in Phil, and sunday there here's what he told me on his message just wanna share

Hi im good.. iIt is now sunday evening 3pm i am going to go to work for a few hour tonight

i need to make extra money now, so i can save to come see you. I want to talk to you yesterday

but my aunt was here visiting and she was online all night. so sorry maybe i will talk tonight ok

I understand him, but somehow at the back of my mind, is it hard to send email via your phone, 2 minutes of his time is not that hard to do? hope am right? i did not reply him until now cause im still sad and confused, i am just so upset about what's going on, that's why im here to ask some questions insights or your opinion so you can help me figured out especially those who are american"kano guys i know it depends on the upbringing but still your comment is important to me. thanks and Godbless everyone

A few things...

How new or old is your relationship?

Over what time span have you been chatting everyday?

Also, don't try to over analyze his actions. If you have had a long relationship with him, simply ask him how where he stands with you.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Pinkish,

Everyone here can tell you how their Kano BF treated them or if they're the Kano (like I am) how they treated their Pinay GF but in the end all that matters is what you feel.

Your latest post gives a lot different impression than your original post.

One thing I can tell you for sure is that the way Kano & Filipino communicate is completely different. Chances are you're so stressed by him not asking for your number and he doesn't even realize it. Do you know how expensive it is to call the Philippines if you don't use a calling card? My Cell Provider charges over $6 per minute! If you have other voice communications (YM, WebCam, Skype) then chances are that he isn't looking for another way to talk because these are sufficient to him. If you e-mail him your phone number and say that you'd like if he could get a $5 calling card so he can make a call to you I bet he'd do it.

Now is the time to start learning how to communicate with him AND teaching him how to communicate with you.

BTW, feel free to ask my wife how I was during the early stages or our {short but intense} relationship...

Good Luck.

[Tahoma 2,291]

Pinkish,

Everyone here can tell you how their Kano BF treated them or if they're the Kano (like I am) how they treated their Pinay GF but in the end all that matters is what you feel.

Your latest post gives a lot different impression than your original post.

One thing I can tell you for sure is that the way Kano & Filipino communicate is completely different. Chances are you're so stressed by him not asking for your number and he doesn't even realize it. Do you know how expensive it is to call the Philippines if you don't use a calling card? My Cell Provider charges over $6 per minute! If you have other voice communications (YM, WebCam, Skype) then chances are that he isn't looking for another way to talk because these are sufficient to him. If you e-mail him your phone number and say that you'd like if he could get a $5 calling card so he can make a call to you I bet he'd do it.

Now is the time to start learning how to communicate with him AND teaching him how to communicate with you.

BTW, feel free to ask my wife how I was during the early stages or our {short but intense} relationship...

Good Luck.

I agree with Bob, your latest post gives me a much different impression. Your boyfriend sounds like he is generally dependable and consistent about talking with you every day.

I would not be worried about a small lapse in your otherwise normal routine. I'm not defending him...because I do think he should have emailed you, but sometimes guys are not very good at multi-tasking...even if it only takes two minutes. And, sometimes guys don't place the same importance on things that you place importance on.

That's why you guys need to learn to communicate better. I bet he would call you if you asked him to. Also, I bet he would have emailed you if you had asked him to. Don't hint. Don't be indirect. Ask him directly. Tell him what you need. Tell him how much it would mean to you.

And remember...guys are guys...it does not matter where they come from...they are simple creatures...and sometimes you must simply wake them up to your needs...so, please be direct with him. He will appreciate it.

Sorry...I don't want to stir the pot, but I noticed that your boyfriend did not say anything in his email like..."love na love kita"...

[JSVP08 3]

very well said tahoma, I appreciate your inputs about this matter, that's why i brought up this topic to know more about how westerner" american guy act and how do they show their love, my american bf told me that he loves me a lot and i beleive him because that's the only thing that i can give to him to continue our relationship since we haven't meet yet, i meet him in an online dating site, wherein he was the first one who emailed me many times, among all the guys who wrote me an email he was the only one who is eager and persistent to contact me many times, so i give him a chance and that was the start everyday he keep on chatting with me and sending me emails. but until now he never ask me for my number, so i did not question that and beg him to get my number, maybe for him no need since we chat and talk everyday.

but last saturday and yesterday, which is sunday, i never heard from him, so i was a bit worried why he never send me email via his blackberry mobile phone, i know he can't come online to chat and talk with me since he told me eversince that saturday and sunda is his time for his daughter. so i believe and understand him. but he can always send me email, so through saturday and sunday that no email is a big question for me, why he never emailed me, so i waited for him but still no email from him, so i decided to send him email to ask him if he's ok, then he replied me just today it's monday here in Phil, and sunday there here's what he told me on his message just wanna share

Hi im good.. iIt is now sunday evening 3pm i am going to go to work for a few hour tonight

i need to make extra money now, so i can save to come see you. I want to talk to you yesterday

but my aunt was here visiting and she was online all night. so sorry maybe i will talk tonight ok

I understand him, but somehow at the back of my mind, is it hard to send email via your phone, 2 minutes of his time is not that hard to do? hope am right? i did not reply him until now cause im still sad and confused, i am just so upset about what's going on, that's why im here to ask some questions insights or your opinion so you can help me figured out especially those who are american"kano guys i know it depends on the upbringing but still your comment is important to me. thanks and Godbless everyone

this not asking number reminds me of how i felt before... but i guess i was expecting to soon coz we have chatted for only 6 days and i find it strange that he has not initiated a call..so i took his number and got to hear each others voice for the first time on the 7th day of chatting. i just want to make sure am talking to a real person b4 even moving on. ....finally moving with him here made me realize that its damn expensive to call. eg. My 140 mins of call to PH is equivalent to only 45 mins call to Dubai, UAE. (where i was at the time of meeting eah other)so i understood now...heck! i havent made call to my friends/family there..

like most have said here, if he is eager and serious about ur relationship- he will make time to keep the lines burning. We communicated like hell- chat,call, sms, email, snail mail, voicemail, cards, e-cards... and theres no way we dont hear from each other every single day except the 2 days he went camping. Yayyy!! were going to our first camping tomorrow by the way

pls make sure he makes time for you and not beg of his time. Anyone can and will make time for someone or something if he/she wants to. Best of luck and take care

[May2 3]

A few things...

How new or old is your relationship?

Over what time span have you been chatting everyday?

Also, don't try to over analyze his actions. If you have had a long relationship with him, simply ask him how where he stands with you.

yep...stop over analyzing. First long distance calls are so expensive, the idea of someone calling you especially from BF who lives overseas is really a great feeling but it is so impractical especially if you constantly talk online. If it's bothering you that he is not asking for your number, why not just give it to him and tell him if there is emergency be sure to inform you. Remember he has a life to live too, he has family and friends who needs attention. Be busy with yourself too, if your relationship is new just enjoy it and it should inspire you.

And to answer your question, in our 9 months gf/bf stage he called me on my phone 2 times, when I was so mad at him and when I was sick. We only talked during weekends ( 6 hours at least ) coz we are both busy working. Every 2 weeks I received snail mail from him. He e-mails me almost everyday. After we got married he ask me to stop working, coz he don't like to see me only once a week. Now we talk every night and 2 times on weekends. cards and letters, and e-mails from his work account. FB and FS messages too.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I was not going to post on this topic because i was afraid it would be jaded because of my experience with perviz...some of you know my story some do not but as i kept reading i felt maybe my story might help her some

i am the USA and perviz was from India..we were engaged for five years..he like ur American bf did not text often or chat often and was not available for phone often...now that our relationship is finished i find him ALWAYS on line either by cell phone or pc...i excused it because of his work and accepted his reasons easily....here is the flat truth if a guy is in love with you, nothing is going to stop him from contacting you one way or the other really think long and hard about this relationship if it does not mean as much to him to hear ur sweet voice or spend time talking with you about ur future or just the kind of day that you had then there is something missing in ur relationship do you want a life time of that? .....i wont go on and on because i don't want to sound bitter because im not im happy i found out what he was before we married and had children

just make sure this guy is the kind that is going to be there for you even if things get tough and that he wants to make u feel like your his world as ur trying to make him feel

sara

Sara Thanks for sharing that as I never knew what happened. I wish you the best as you deserve the best.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

very well said tahoma, I appreciate your inputs about this matter, that's why i brought up this topic to know more about how westerner" american guy act and how do they show their love, my american bf told me that he loves me a lot and i beleive him because that's the only thing that i can give to him to continue our relationship since we haven't meet yet, i meet him in an online dating site, wherein he was the first one who emailed me many times, among all the guys who wrote me an email he was the only one who is eager and persistent to contact me many times, so i give him a chance and that was the start everyday he keep on chatting with me and sending me emails. but until now he never ask me for my number, so i did not question that and beg him to get my number, maybe for him no need since we chat and talk everyday.

but last saturday and yesterday, which is sunday, i never heard from him, so i was a bit worried why he never send me email via his blackberry mobile phone, i know he can't come online to chat and talk with me since he told me eversince that saturday and sunda is his time for his daughter. so i believe and understand him. but he can always send me email, so through saturday and sunday that no email is a big question for me, why he never emailed me, so i waited for him but still no email from him, so i decided to send him email to ask him if he's ok, then he replied me just today it's monday here in Phil, and sunday there here's what he told me on his message just wanna share

Hi im good.. iIt is now sunday evening 3pm i am going to go to work for a few hour tonight

i need to make extra money now, so i can save to come see you. I want to talk to you yesterday

but my aunt was here visiting and she was online all night. so sorry maybe i will talk tonight ok

I understand him, but somehow at the back of my mind, is it hard to send email via your phone, 2 minutes of his time is not that hard to do? hope am right? i did not reply him until now cause im still sad and confused, i am just so upset about what's going on, that's why im here to ask some questions insights or your opinion so you can help me figured out especially those who are american"kano guys i know it depends on the upbringing but still your comment is important to me. thanks and Godbless everyone

Since you are asking for people's advice here on behavior, after reading this - I think it's a bit too early for you (or him) to be on an immigration website considering the two of you haven't even spoken over the phone yet, let alone met in person. And given the fact that you two met through a dating website, there's a good chance that he is conversing with other women as well, which is normal and he also might be thinking you are conversing with other men. Maybe you have a different idea in your mind about what a boyfriend means because he could just be considering you a girl friend.

Maybe it will all work out for you but you might want to consider everything and perhaps slow things down a little, especially if this is the very first guy you conversed with online from another country, and you know very little about who he really is.

[Tahoma 2,291]

Since you are asking for people's advice here on behavior, after reading this - I think it's a bit too early for you (or him) to be on an immigration website considering the two of you haven't even spoken over the phone yet, let alone met in person. And given the fact that you two met through a dating website, there's a good chance that he is conversing with other women as well, which is normal and he also might be thinking you are conversing with other men. Maybe you have a different idea in your mind about what a boyfriend means because he could just be considering you a girl friend.

Maybe it will all work out for you but you might want to consider everything and perhaps slow things down a little, especially if this is the very first guy you conversed with online from another country, and you know very little about who he really is.

You make a good point, El Buscador.

Hmmm...I wonder what type of commitment pinkish and her boyfriend have made to each other.

Hmmm...I wonder if they have both agreed to an exclusive relationship.

Hmmm... I wonder if they have actually said the words, instead of assuming things.

Hmmm...I wonder if pinkish is in too much of a hurry.

Hmmm...

Pinkish?!?

[DARUMA07 25]

Don't sweat the small stuff Pinkish! Since you both haven't even met in person, you have to take things one day at a time. Long distant relationships are very difficult at first. It's hard trying to get to know someone who is half-way around the world. Chatting, phone calls, emails will only do so much!

Give him the chance to develop the feelings that he needs to want to come over to the P.I. When I was in his shoes, I knew I wanted to meet my fine lady, but I could not confirm my feelings for her, until the day we had met in person! It took a 9000 mile trip to confirm my love for her.

You will both know if you are really meant for each other once you spend that time together in the P.I. Take things a little slower than what you already have. Let time develop the feelings. If you are smothering him, you might scare him off. I wish you both the best. Take it slow.................

PS. Sarah, I am really sorry to hear about your situation. You are the strongest woman here on VJ!!! I wish you the best in life!!!

[marklovetina 52]

hi vj fam.. i just talked to her last night and she realized she was wrong and now i think she is saying sorry to her bf hehehe... she is just being u know... i told her this is not the only problem she will encounter on a LDR, and this is not the worst the truth her problem is really not a problem hehe compared to other members here on vj who shared their problems hehe... :P

@Phil: good day to all!

@US: have a pleasant eve!!!

[o0pink0o 3]

I was not going to post on this topic because i was afraid it would be jaded because of my experience with perviz...some of you know my story some do not but as i kept reading i felt maybe my story might help her some

i am the USA and perviz was from India..we were engaged for five years..he like ur American bf did not text often or chat often and was not available for phone often...now that our relationship is finished i find him ALWAYS on line either by cell phone or pc...i excused it because of his work and accepted his reasons easily....here is the flat truth if a guy is in love with you, nothing is going to stop him from contacting you one way or the other really think long and hard about this relationship if it does not mean as much to him to hear ur sweet voice or spend time talking with you about ur future or just the kind of day that you had then there is something missing in ur relationship do you want a life time of that? .....i wont go on and on because i don't want to sound bitter because im not im happy i found out what he was before we married and had children

just make sure this guy is the kind that is going to be there for you even if things get tough and that he wants to make u feel like your his world as ur trying to make him feel

sara

I am sorry to what happened. I didn't know that this is how your relationship ended after all the hopes and waits you had. God is good and I know that he will send the right man for you in HIS time. Be strong (although I know you are).

[charlie&pam 1]

Third that...and yes, we also talk everyday twice a day using skype. Rarely does our schedules prevent it.

i fourth of the motion....hehe... my fiance now hubby was want me to get online everyday...para bang pg hindi kmi nag online kulang dw ang araw nya...hehe..kya thank GOD kc very sweet cya until now..very caring and responsible pa....GOD IS GOOD...

[pinkish 0]

You make a good point, El Buscador.

Hmmm...I wonder what type of commitment pinkish and her boyfriend have made to each other.

Hmmm...I wonder if they have both agreed to an exclusive relationship.

Hmmm... I wonder if they have actually said the words, instead of assuming things.

Hmmm...I wonder if pinkish is in too much of a hurry.

Hmmm...

Pinkish?!?

To answer your question, we are on a committed exclusive relationship, i know i am just made my over acted reaction here, i know it's not proper to post those things and it made many people to judge me the way i posted my 2nd question.

but anyway those are only one major "tampuhan" we had with my bf eversince and it's just only a small stuff" and thank God because we learn a lot of things from what happen and we learn to compromise things, now he learn to send me email every 2 hours, he called me everyday, everything change from what happen and he is more now willing to do the things that even sometimes it made him at his inconvenience. im not the only one who meet my bf from an online dating i've known a lot of people who meet his fiance boyfriend or better half on online dating site, some has their success stories some also has their worst nightmare stories and it's not about how long or how short you are in a relationship it is how you will handle and pursue your love for each other.

I am not here to ask for a dating advice, i am here to ask for a relationship advice wherein some members have experience the same situation or similar or maybe happen to her/him before. my general concern here is to share your experience about your foreign bf.fiancee husband your stories as what my original post is supposed to be, i only made a mistake on my 2nd post that mislead to the original topic my apology...

thanks to all the people who send their personal message, and i really appreciate your non judgemental advice, i won't mention you one by one but you know who you are and to the one and only person who made a sarcastic message thank you also as i cannot please everyone here. may God bless you all and Goodluck to all your journey.

@to Godsgift you are truly a godsgift to me..thanks for the friendship God bless you

[marklovetina 52]

@to Godsgift you are truly a godsgift to me..thanks for the friendship God bless you

hi po! yeah you're welcome po, and God bless us both.. see you around...