formula for understanding women

[justashooter 430]

needs to be recalculated every 6 seconds for best effectiveness...

Edited April 24, 2010 by justashooter

[TheBears 9]

[Ban Hammer 14,023]

[Mark&Gladys 0]

A man is walking on an Oregon beach and finds a beautiful old bottle. He scoops it up and rubs it with his shirt to see it more clearly.

Suddenly the bottle shakes and shudders and a benevolent Genie emerges with great fanfare!!

The man is amazed by the sight and even more amazed when the Genie exclaims: "Thank you for freeing me!! In my gratitude I shall grant you one wish!"

The man is shocked and excited and decides to take a minute to think this through. Seeing the man deep in thought, the Genie says boldly: "Do not fear my good Master - no wish is too much for my powers!"

So the man says: Then Genie, I have much business and family in Hawaii and I hate flying. Please build me a bridge from here to Hawaii so I don't have to fly any longer." The Genie was immediately disgusted with the request. "Don't you want endless riches, power and wealth?!? Don't you want world peace or eternal happiness?!? A bridge that far will require a lot of resources, it will need repaired and maintained. I just don't think that a bridge is a very good idea at all!" replied the Genie. " Are you sure there is nothing else you desire? Remember I am ALL powerful!"

The man furrowed his brow and thinking hard he looked at the Genie and said: "Well I can think of only one other wish. I wish to have the ability to understand women, especially my wife."

The Genie replied: "Do you want the bridge 2 lanes or 4?"

[Mark&Gladys 0]

Here is a joke for you old duffers!!

A man was walking down the street and found an older gentleman sitting on a park bench clearly in distress.

The first man asked the older man "what's the matter? Are you injured?"

The older man replied; "No, not injured", his chest heaving.

The first man asked: "Are you sick?

The older man gasped; "No, not sick"

The first man asked: "Are you hungry?

The older man whispered; "No, not hungry"

Then the first man, speaking softly and putting his hand on the older man's shoulder, asked again. "Then please tell me what is the matter? Maybe I can help."

The old man sobbed; "Well I have a beautiful young wife at home. She is perfect. She cleans the house, pays the bills, does the laundry and shopping and takes care of me. She is a great cook. She is very sexy and an awesome lover. She is just great".

The first man, very surprised and speaking more loudly now, said; "Mister that sounds pretty good to me, so why are you so upset!? Did she leave you?"

The old man exclaimed: "NO! I CAN'T REMEMBER WHERE I LIVE!!"