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RaspberrySwirl

The Funnies Thread

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Except for the children part, this cracked me up!

"Stories About Your Cat

There are slightly more cats in North America than there are children. And there are infinitely more owners' stories about their cats than there are audiences who give a damn. Since all cats do is sleep, eat, ###### and attack things, there are very few possible permutations of cat story, and I guarantee I've heard them all a million times. I hate to tell you this, but your cats, just like your children, are neither unique nor interesting. If your cat discovers a new element and has MrBootstonium added to the periodic table, by all means let me know. But until then, keep your damn stories to yourself"

Son of a B**** I hate cat stories! I hate having to act like I'm interested when my supervisor talks about them. I want to vomit on her next time she mentions cats; just vomit right on her.

"The 4 a.m. Traffic Light

You know the light I'm talking about. At four in the morning, you're driving down a flat desolate highway. You can see forever in every direction and are entirely sure that you are completely alone. Out of nowhere, and for no good reason, appears a red light. You stop and wait for it to turn green. It doesn't. You know it's completely safe to run the light. There are no cars coming - you can see that with your own eyes. And yet you wait. A tumbleweed blows past you as you ponder the possibility of some sort of police sting operation to catch late-night red-light runners. By now you are cursing yourself for being such a law-abiding fraidy-cat. You tell yourself that the Dukes of Hazzard would run the light (yes, even Daisy). Minutes later, just as you're about to almost gather up enough guts to start thinking about maybe getting the courage to perhaps go through the red, it turns green. You've wasted some time, burned unnecessary gasoline and proven yourself to be a #####. All because of a little red traffic light. Multiply this frustration by a billion if you have to pee really really badly. The Europeans have a system where at 4 a.m. lights such as these, become flashing reds, to be treated as a stop sign: stop, look, go. No wonder they look more relaxed than us."

So true!! This list is hilarious :lol:

Can't.....stop......laughing!

"Shower Caps

When you look at the line-up of hotel toiletries, one item stands out as being particularly useless. I'm appreciative of the soap. I'm glad to have the shampoo and conditioner. I'm very pleased to see moisturizer, as my skin often dries out when I'm on the road. I've even grown dependent on the shoe sponge or its poor cousin the shoe mitt, since I'm generally travelling on business and the feet can always use a little polish. And then there's the shower cap. About as useful as a bag with a built-in elastic can be. Get this useless piece of junk out of my bathroom. How about replacing this antiquated perm-protection device with something like toothpaste that might actually come in handy. Do they think all travellers are old ladies with dye-jobbed hair and false teeth? From now on, whenever I make a hotel reservation online, in the special requests box I write "I like my hair and my teeth clean. In lieu of shower cap, please provide small tube of toothpaste.""

Edited by incanada1234

24vs7qp.jpg

21ch82r.gif

"In our attempt to make everybody happy, we make nobody happy. And we lose elections." - Democratic activist Janice Griffin

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http://www.onzin.com/view.php?id=1940

(It's a Dutch site but the video's still funny)

noodles.jpg

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

The very first Cyanide and Happiness animated short (For those of you who don't know C&H, it's a really funny webcomic, but not for the easily offended. You've been warned :P)

Edit: Ok so the link doesn't work there, try here: http://www.explosm.net/movies/124

Hit that pinata... or not...

Edited by RaspberrySwirl

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:P Good Laughs, I love video links.....

7-3-06 GREEN CARD ARRIVES IN MAIL!!!! Done for two years!!!!!!

I am here to help, even if it's just to offer my shoulder to cry or vent on... We are all in this together.!

My answers are based on personal experience, not fact.

We are on this rollercoaster ride together holding on for dear life.

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Son of a B**** I hate cat stories! I hate having to act like I'm interested when my supervisor talks about them. I want to vomit on her next time she mentions cats; just vomit right on her.

sends incanada all the stray cats from east of the rocky mountains. :P


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USE THE REPORT BUTTON INSTEAD OF MESSAGING A MODERATOR!

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Son of a B**** I hate cat stories! I hate having to act like I'm interested when my supervisor talks about them. I want to vomit on her next time she mentions cats; just vomit right on her.

sends incanada all the stray cats from east of the rocky mountains. :P

Would you like some cat soup? :yes:


24vs7qp.jpg

21ch82r.gif

"In our attempt to make everybody happy, we make nobody happy. And we lose elections." - Democratic activist Janice Griffin

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http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2006/fr...ake-lady-p1.php

:lol::lol::lol:

(BTW, I'd post more video links but I'm trying hard to make this thread safe for work and most of the video sites I know always have some sort of link to webcam girls or the latest pr0n star videoshoot on the sidebars. :unsure: )

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