Can anyone PLEASE help/shed some light?

[delilah 0]

Hi

If there is anyone out there who can help me with my slightly unusual situation I would really appreciate it.

I am British (living in the UK) and my husband is American (living in the US). We have been married since October 2009. As we both have children from previous marriages we have made the decision to remain living in our own countries for the time being until our children are older. Neither of us are able to move our kids out of their respective countries. Also we are trying to be the best parents we can and do what is right for our children and put our own needs on the back burner until they are older. I have been traveling back and forth once a month of so on the VWP and usually staying for up to a week. (27 times in 4 years). Never overstayed. I have never had a problem until last week when I flew to the States and was questioned at the immigration desk for about 5 minutes and told I was abusing the VWP and that I spend more time in the US than in the UK. This is totally untrue and I can prove this to anyone who needed to know. I have strong ties to the UK right now and have no intention of moving to the US. I was told I will possibly be denied entry next time and I presume the immigration official 'flagged' me. Obviously the experience was terrifying and I really did think for a second that I wouldn't get through. The next day I managed to speak to an immigration lawyer who told me I shouldn't try and enter under the VWP again incase I get turned back. That I am not eligible for a B2 because I am married to an American. I was told that my only option is to apply for a green card. This all seems ridiculous as I am unable to commit to living in the US right now so do not want to do this. I just want to be able to visit my husband. Incidentally he also flies to the UK every fews weeks for long weekends and has never had any trouble.

Anyway I am worried out of my mind about what to do as I never expected this to happen. Call me naive! we weren't breaking any laws just trying to maintain a long distance marriage. Is there anyone out there who has been in a similar situation or can shed any light on what we should do. We have now entered this world that I didn't even know existed and I am terrified of what the future holds. Please any help would be very much appreciated. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

First, your lawyer has given you bad advice. If you wish to maintain the long distance marriage then applying for a green card is just a waste of money. You have to reside in the US to have the green card and you are not in the position to do that right now.

When visiting the US, the onus is on you to reassure the border authorities that you are not an intending immigrant but a bona fide visitor. Your circumstances are unusual as you are trying to live two separate lives joined together by regular visits, but it isn't unique. I know of one Canadian married to an Australian who is doing the same thing.

You mention you have strong ties to the UK. What you need to do is to gather together proof of those strong ties and provide definitive evidence that you are not an intending immigrant for each and every visit to the US. Yes, you have been flagged right now so you will have to put together a very strong package that will reassure the border authorities that you have no intention of immigrating. That will include proof of property ownership in the UK, a mortgage or a lease for where you live. I am assuming that your children remain in the UK while you visit, so documents such as a letter from their school that they are enrolled in classes as permanent students, a copy of your custody arrangement with the children's father showing they either live with you or you have joint custody, and even a letter from their father stating he does not agree to them leaving the country at this time which supports your choice for staying in the UK for now. Bring proof of your financial responsibilities in the UK - proof of other property ownership; insurance; utility bills, things like that - all the most recent ones you have showing an ongoing responsibility to this issue. Bring a letter from your employer showing what you do and when you are expected back to work.

Also, prepare a list of all of your travel dates to the US showing when you travelled and how long you stayed and if you have supporting documents such as boarding passes proving your statement, include those with the document. This provides further evidence that you have established a pattern of visiting and returning. Also carry a letter from your husband outlining your current agreement that while you are married both of you are also parents and because you are not able to bring your children out of their birth countries, are currently living a long distance marriage until those circumstances change. Provide your husband with a similar letter. Have the signatures on these letters notarized (in the US) or certified (in the UK).

You should also provide a document that shows how often your husband has travelled to the UK to see you, again providing arrival and departure dates to show that this relationship isn't one-sided with you doing all of the travelling.

It will mean a bit of ongoing work for you to prepare and carry this package of information with you whenever you visit, but you need to do what you can to reassure the border authorities that you are trustworthy and not an immigration risk. With proper preparation you should be able to continue travelling with the VWP. If for some reason you are denied, then you can still try for a Visitor's visa at the US Consulate - again providing them with all of the above evidence and whatever else you can gather to prove your ties to the UK.

Good luck.

also - moderator hat on: I'm moving your thread from the Canada Forum to the Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits forum as the most likely fit for your situation. It's not so much a 'change' that is impacting your visiting, rather your family situation which is, as you say, out of the ordinary.

Edited February 21, 2010 by Kathryn41

[delilah 0]

One thing I forgot to ask.... how long do you think I should leave it before trying to enter the US again. I am due to leave the US on Wednesday and have a ticket booked to come back for a week over Easter. Should I postpone this and let a little more time lapse? Thanks again for your brilliant previous response.

[Catt 6]

First, your lawyer has given you bad advice. If you wish to maintain the long distance marriage then applying for a green card is just a waste of money. You have to reside in the US to have the green card and you are not in the position to do that right now.

When visiting the US, the onus is on you to reassure the border authorities that you are not an intending immigrant but a bona fide visitor. Your circumstances are unusual as you are trying to live two separate lives joined together by regular visits, but it isn't unique. I know of one Canadian married to an Australian who is doing the same thing.

You mention you have strong ties to the UK. What you need to do is to gather together proof of those strong ties and provide definitive evidence that you are not an intending immigrant for each and every visit to the US. Yes, you have been flagged right now so you will have to put together a very strong package that will reassure the border authorities that you have no intention of immigrating. That will include proof of property ownership in the UK, a mortgage or a lease for where you live. I am assuming that your children remain in the UK while you visit, so documents such as a letter from their school that they are enrolled in classes as permanent students, a copy of your custody arrangement with the children's father showing they either live with you or you have joint custody, and even a letter from their father stating he does not agree to them leaving the country at this time which supports your choice for staying in the UK for now. Bring proof of your financial responsibilities in the UK - proof of other property ownership; insurance; utility bills, things like that - all the most recent ones you have showing an ongoing responsibility to this issue. Bring a letter from your employer showing what you do and when you are expected back to work.

Also, prepare a list of all of your travel dates to the US showing when you travelled and how long you stayed and if you have supporting documents such as boarding passes proving your statement, include those with the document. This provides further evidence that you have established a pattern of visiting and returning. Also carry a letter from your husband outlining your current agreement that while you are married both of you are also parents and because you are not able to bring your children out of their birth countries, are currently living a long distance marriage until those circumstances change. Provide your husband with a similar letter. Have the signatures on these letters notarized (in the US) or certified (in the UK).

You should also provide a document that shows how often your husband has travelled to the UK to see you, again providing arrival and departure dates to show that this relationship isn't one-sided with you doing all of the travelling.

It will mean a bit of ongoing work for you to prepare and carry this package of information with you whenever you visit, but you need to do what you can to reassure the border authorities that you are trustworthy and not an immigration risk. With proper preparation you should be able to continue travelling with the VWP. If for some reason you are denied, then you can still try for a Visitor's visa at the US Consulate - again providing them with all of the above evidence and whatever else you can gather to prove your ties to the UK.

Good luck.

Excellent advice!

[Tahoma 2,291]

Kathryn41...well-thought-out and well-written post...thank you.

[lovelyalex 99]

Katheryn's post says it all! Really though, personally I wouldn't postpone your trip. If you have nothing to hide don't let the scare tactics used at your point of entry deter you. You are prepared now for them asking you questions again, so don't let them ruin your visit.

[delilah 0]

Thanks for your support. Really appreciate it.

[Lona.C. 16]

Kathryn is right ( thats why i usualy advice people to go to her she knows her stuff )

I went trough a similar situation exept we where not married at the time ,

I lived in canada ( LPR) am german cit so when I went to visit I always needed the VWP I94 ,

basicaly did as you do calculated every visit to make sure there was no overstay ,

we did that for almost 2 years without any problems till they said I intend to migrated and i live in the states ,

luckly i had the train ticket to return to canada and few open bills with me ,

so the gave me a lecture about the K1 visa ( they even said I could stay and get married file for AOS )

told them thats not an option since I have open ties in canada as they can see ( they bills where right infront of them )

so the officer flaged me said for this time he will let me trough but to show more prove the next time ,

or start the K1 visa

I said thank you and went to visit tony for a week , then on my return to canada waited about 2 month before my next visit , as kathryn said bring alot of effidance

( I had no problem the following visit brought a binder full of effidance created a chart wich documented every date of entry and return they didnt even ask for any effidance ,

then we started the k1 they grilled me a few times while the K1 was in process ,

I always carried the I called it effedance binder with me and also I showed the NOA's they saw i had no intentions and was going the right way ,

yes I know your situation is a little differant then mine was so best advice is do as Kathryn said bring lots of effidance and document every entry and return