Corny "Why?" Jokes....

[웃 910]

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor,

and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

Can a stupid person be a smart-####?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why is the man who invests all your money, called a broker?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food? There is fish flavored!

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address,

you turn down the volume on the radio?

Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on "Start"?

If all is not lost, where is it?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Why do steam irons have a permanent press setting?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat

and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

You know how most packages say "Open here".

What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes,

why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

If a 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light,

what happens when you turn on the headlights?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment,

but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

How did a fool and his money get together?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

Edited February 12, 2010 by Lord Infamous

[Wyatt's Torch 45]

Yep, corny indeed.

[scandal 951]

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light,

what happens when you turn on the headlights?

I would tell you, but then I'd have to explain all about special relativity, frames of reference, and the Lorentz transformation.

[TBoneTX 47,269]

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Everyone always chortles when some stupid, unoriginal Master of Ceremonies comes out with this one. It's because "DUH -- so the manufacturer doesn't have to stock, ship, or market two different models of ATMs. DUH, si man."

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I would tell you, but then I'd have to explain all about special relativity, frames of reference, and the Lorentz transformation.

And also because you barely understand how to cut and paste a math formula from wikipedia.