really pissed and hurt:(

[Ban Hammer 14,269]

You know...this is just what those guys are expecting...a whole bunch of us women to respond to their comments just so they can say "look! we were right!" are you going to give them that satisfaction?

i wouldn't dare. i know better. *goes back to washing the dishes*

[KarenCee 3]

You know...this is just what those guys are expecting...a whole bunch of us women to respond to their comments just so they can say "look! we were right!" are you going to give them that satisfaction?

i wouldn't dare. i know better. *goes back to washing the dishes*

and if i believe that you've got swampland in nevada to sell...real cheap, eh?

[luvaLimey 0]

and if i believe that you've got swampland in nevada to sell...real cheap, eh?

they have swampland in Nevada!!!!! Where??????

[Ban Hammer 14,269]

You know...this is just what those guys are expecting...a whole bunch of us women to respond to their comments just so they can say "look! we were right!" are you going to give them that satisfaction?

i wouldn't dare. i know better. *goes back to washing the dishes*

and if i believe that you've got swampland in nevada to sell...real cheap, eh?

um....actually.........i like washing dishes

[KarenCee 3]

Yanno, I think that's great...Joel doesn't mind helping me out too. Do you do laundry as well?

[Ban Hammer 14,269]

Yanno, I think that's great...Joel doesn't mind helping me out too. Do you do laundry as well?

um yeah, not like i can mail it to brazil

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

um....actually.........i like washing dishes

Me too. I enjoy hand washing dishes. I dislike pretty much every other chore you can think of.

[Fandango 1,440]

Do you do laundry as well?

Don't we all?

and btw...thx guys!

[KarenCee 3]

yup! seems the laundry has increased in the last couple months...but who's complaining

[Fandango 1,440]

yup! seems the laundry has increased in the last couple months...but who's complaining

Yep! *some* of us are wayyy more regular with their laundry than others! hrph!

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Think more like a man and let the small stuff roll off your back. I sure wouldn't want to be a man with a woman constantly nagging about little things all the time.

I have a theory about why that is so. Most women were raised and encouraged to be the nurturers - to show sympathy, compassion and console or confront someone when they sense something is wrong. Men have been taught to persevere even when they get hurt - be tough, be strong. Those traits are in essense good traits that both men and women should have interchangeably. The problem is when they are taken to an extreme - the woman MUST know what is wrong and do whatever she can to remedy the problem, while the guy will keep taking it on the chin proudly even if his jaw is broken until he makes it to the finish line.

So the secret for the woman is to know when he's made it to finish line so she can tend to his wounds and the man just needs to know where the finish line is.

I think this is a bunch of bullchit right here....Seriously. And no offense, Bethanie..cos you know I love ya girl...but what's this 'think like a man' stuff?

I think both posts here reek of sexism....it's like that shite 'television for women' ####### that shows nothing but tearjerkers. I'm a woman, and I wouldn't watch it. Just like I don't hapeen to think 'being tough and strong' is a male characteristic either. I also don't think women are NOT taught to perservere when they're hurt...my family certainly didn't say 'oh honey you have a uterus, so take a tissue and have a moment' I take stuff on the chin, I am strong...just like my partner is sympathetic and compassionate. This 'men are from mars, women from venus' chit is just that....######.

btw, 'take it on the chin proudly even if the jaw is broken' omG how up your own azz does that sound? 'I am man hear me raor'

the secret is for a woman to tend to a man's wounds? and to know when he's made it to the finish line??? #######? what finish line? and ####### does the WOMAN need to tend to the man? Its a mutual job...each should tend to each other.....omG get over yourself!!!!

The bottom line is this: a woman can't seem to air summat that's bothering her without being labeled 'a nag' 'a stereotypical woman' etc....yet if a man airs his grievances, he's 'in touch with his feelings'. It's #######. Just like I can be a biotch and some smart azz can come out with 'PMS time?'

Take things for what they are, and stop trying to put everything in a nice neat box. A PERSON has the right to tell his/her partner what's bothering HIM OR HER without everyone bein all 'omG what a girl'

Didn't want this lost on the last page because I reall feel strongly about this & would like a response.

Lisa, were you a tomboy?

You cannot ignore the fact that little boys and girls are raised and treated differently. How much is nature vs. nurture is hard to say, but there is a tendency for women to be more nurturing than men. I remember reading about a study of young children playing together. The young boys would be more competitive while the girls would initiate games where everybody wins. That isn't to say that each sex doesn't posess those traits commonly found in the opposite sex. My mother said she was never allowed to show anger in her family - so the only thing she could do was bawl her eyes out. Being told that you're behavior is not lady-like, or telling a little boy that only girls cry has a profound effect on how we learn to express our emotions.

I agree with you that it shouldn't be an excuse to become a stereotype just like being raised by racist parents shouldn't be an excuse to be a bigot, but you've got to recognize it for what it is. Even if it's simply being aware of our own tendencies within a relationship and then stretching to meet the other person's emotional needs.

Interesting little side note: I was watching a Hummer commercial the other night. It shows 2 guys in a check-out line. One has tofu and fresh vegetables. The other has slabs of rib and red meat. The tofu guy looks intimidated. Then it shows him on a car lot, driving off in his new Hummer and the text on the bottom of the screen reads, "Reclaim your manhood."

[Ban Hammer 14,269]

Lisa, were you a tomboy?

don't push it, she'll kick your butt

[Fandango 1,440]

Think more like a man and let the small stuff roll off your back. I sure wouldn't want to be a man with a woman constantly nagging about little things all the time.

I have a theory about why that is so. Most women were raised and encouraged to be the nurturers - to show sympathy, compassion and console or confront someone when they sense something is wrong. Men have been taught to persevere even when they get hurt - be tough, be strong. Those traits are in essense good traits that both men and women should have interchangeably. The problem is when they are taken to an extreme - the woman MUST know what is wrong and do whatever she can to remedy the problem, while the guy will keep taking it on the chin proudly even if his jaw is broken until he makes it to the finish line.

So the secret for the woman is to know when he's made it to finish line so she can tend to his wounds and the man just needs to know where the finish line is.

I think this is a bunch of bullchit right here....Seriously. And no offense, Bethanie..cos you know I love ya girl...but what's this 'think like a man' stuff?

I think both posts here reek of sexism....it's like that shite 'television for women' ####### that shows nothing but tearjerkers. I'm a woman, and I wouldn't watch it. Just like I don't hapeen to think 'being tough and strong' is a male characteristic either. I also don't think women are NOT taught to perservere when they're hurt...my family certainly didn't say 'oh honey you have a uterus, so take a tissue and have a moment' I take stuff on the chin, I am strong...just like my partner is sympathetic and compassionate. This 'men are from mars, women from venus' chit is just that....######.

btw, 'take it on the chin proudly even if the jaw is broken' omG how up your own azz does that sound? 'I am man hear me raor'

the secret is for a woman to tend to a man's wounds? and to know when he's made it to the finish line??? #######? what finish line? and ####### does the WOMAN need to tend to the man? Its a mutual job...each should tend to each other.....omG get over yourself!!!!

The bottom line is this: a woman can't seem to air summat that's bothering her without being labeled 'a nag' 'a stereotypical woman' etc....yet if a man airs his grievances, he's 'in touch with his feelings'. It's #######. Just like I can be a biotch and some smart azz can come out with 'PMS time?'

Take things for what they are, and stop trying to put everything in a nice neat box. A PERSON has the right to tell his/her partner what's bothering HIM OR HER without everyone bein all 'omG what a girl'

Didn't want this lost on the last page because I reall feel strongly about this & would like a response.

Lisa, were you a tomboy?

You cannot ignore the fact that little boys and girls are raised and treated differently. How much is nature vs. nurture is hard to say, but there is a tendency for women to be more nurturing than men. I remember reading about a study of young children playing together. The young boys would be more competitive while the girls would initiate games where everybody wins. That isn't to say that each sex doesn't posess those traits commonly found in the opposite sex. My mother said she was never allowed to show anger in her family - so the only thing she could do was bawl her eyes out. Being told that you're behavior is not lady-like, or telling a little boy that only girls cry has a profound effect on how we learn to express our emotions.

I agree with you that it shouldn't be an excuse to become a stereotype just like being raised by racist parents shouldn't be an excuse to be a bigot, but you've got to recognize it for what it is. Even if it's simply being aware of our own tendencies within a relationship and then stretching to meet the other person's emotional needs.

Interesting little side note: I was watching a Hummer commercial the other night. It shows 2 guys in a check-out line. One has tofu and fresh vegetables. The other has slabs of rib and red meat. The tofu guy looks intimidated. Then it shows him on a car lot, driving off in his new Hummer and the text on the bottom of the screen reads, "Reclaim your manhood."

You completely evaded my questions, btw...but even the tomboy joke was out of line...I guess I shouldn't expect any more from you, so more fool me...

You can talk about your mother and how she grew up, but at the end of the day, I can tell you when people had to ####### in a bucket cos there was no plumbing....does that have any bearing to today? absolutely not. Your whole post was 'blahblahblahsexistblahblahblahmoresanctimoniousazzholecrapblahblahjoke' that's the way I read it. You say 'it shouldn't be an excuse' yet you use it as one. You used my post as an excuse to get on a soap box, yet you really didn't address it...specifically the part I just put in red. What exactly does it mean when you say a man takes it on the chin until he reaches the finish line? And why should the woman 'know when he reaches the finish line to tend to his wounds?'

I'm not saying that men and women are EXACTLY THE SAME, yet at the same time traits like 'strong' aren't gender related. I could rattle off a bunch of women who are stronger in character and determination than a lot of men. And I could rattle off a ton of men who are more compassionate than some women I know. In fact, while you're proudly displaying your balls in celebration of the male gender & how STRONG and DETERMINED you all are, I could name a few women who could theoretically rip them off you faster than you could rip the wings off an annoying fly...

And yes, I recognize antiquated sexist values for what they are So here's your chance to cut thru all your middle-management obfuscations and either deal with what I said, or piss off cos I'm too much of a 'manly woman' to deal with...

[one...two...tree 2,762]

What exactly does it mean when you say a man takes it on the chin until he reaches the finish line? And why should the woman 'know when he reaches the finish line to tend to his wounds?'

Take it easy...we're just stating opinions here, right?

I was being metaphorical. Just ask how many men here feel they could openly cry at their office and say they are having a bad day? I'm not agreeing with the sexual stereotypes - you've completely misconstrued what I said. In a perfect world, I would LOVE to see men openly get emotional and cry just because they are having a bad day, but it ain't going to happen anytime soon - not without public scorn. I keep trying to tell you that I agree in fluid roles between husband and wife. But when a wife as in the OP states that she is pissed and cannot understand her husband's behavior, it helps to understand those underlying attitudes that affect his behavior, not to give him an excuse to act like an #######, but for both of them to be more aware of those tendencies which causes such strife between them.

[Fandango 1,440]

Take it easy...we're just stating opinions here, right?

I was being metaphorical. Just ask how many men here feel they could openly cry at their office and say they are having a bad day? I'm not agreeing with the sexual stereotypes - you've completely misconstrued what I said. In a perfect world, I would LOVE to see men openly get emotional and cry just because they are having a bad day, but it ain't going to happen anytime soon - not without public scorn. I keep trying to tell you that I agree in fluid roles between husband and wife. But when a wife as in the OP states that she is pissed and cannot understand her husband's behavior, it helps to understand those underlying attitudes that affect his behavior, not to give him an excuse to act like an #######, but for both of them to be more aware of those tendencies which causes such strife between them.

Take it easy, why? Are you afraid I'm going to cry or summat?

Crying at the office is unacceptable for either gender. If you think 'in a perfect world' an office is the place for wah wah bullchit, then please don't ever come to work for me. But then again, I must be a ball-busting, man hating, secret lesbian with an unnatural level of testosterone, right?

You cannot explain th OP's husband's behavior because YOU DON'T KNOW HIM. You can speak in all the metaphors you want, you can talk about how your mama was raised, you can tell us all the sexist commercials you've seen...yet at the end of the day...you cannot explain anything in this instance. Why? BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HIM. How can you even allude to any 'underlying attitudes' when you have never said even tickety boo to him? See, me personally...I'd like to have at least a tenuous grasp on summat before speaking about it, but I guess we subscribe to different schools of thought. I am not the spokesperson for the female gender because I have a #######. I could not tell you why your fiancee does what she does cos she is different to me & the fact that we have a common chromosome does not mean I know everything there is to know about her, or every other woman on the planet. Yet here you come in with your 'men stong chin, women tend to men' ####### (simplified there for brevity's sake btw) as if you either 1)know the OP's husband personally or 2) have some sort of counselling degree in intergender relationships...which to my knowledge you don't.

Noted: you still haven't answered my questions. I could request a third time that you answer them, but my point has already been made. Listen, Steven...you can say whatever it is you feel...of course that's your right....but at the end of the day, you should at least be able to defend your convictions when asked. I shouldn't have to ask you mutiple times 'what did you mean by that?'. Which only shows that you have no logic or reasoning for what you've said, which in turn makes you look a bit like a backpeddling tw@t.

Well, you look it to me, not to all women...I dunno cos I haven't asked them

Oh, and ..do you wear a cup when you straddle that fence?...

PS I understand the fact that it's 'metaphorical' but it still doesn't explain why you put the genders into the roles that you did. Women stand back, and tend...and men get to that damn line. It's a bunch of #######, and I'm not buying Have you checked a calendar? it's 2006...not 1906

Edited July 24, 2006 by LisaD