married to us citizen with convictions

[utopia2004 2]

I have a load of misds. and one felony. Other than asking my fiance a few questions to make sure he was aware of my history there was no problem.

Thats good to know for me! im worrying i wont be able to be with him.. he is a few minor felonies.. he is only 23 and really wants to turn his life around now. He skipped parole to do that which wasnt the best idea (before he met me), so he has to do 4 months for that.

one burglary and several misdemeanors by the age of 23, including an assault at the age of 15, is not an indicator of a stable development. but, as you're in kollege, i'm sure you already heard that in psych 101. many people have "turned their life around" after such a start, but the process is difficult.

getting a good job with a felony record is difficult. learning to solve problems in a constructive manner after 8 years of solving them by destructive methods is also difficult. i wish you the best in your future life, but would advise you to be careful in your decision making.

i have been a manufacturing supervisor over employees with criminal records. the results were a mixed bag, but the odds are against you. you only have one life to live, so make your choices carefully.

Thanks. But i know him and its my life and i know what im doing. Despite convictions he is a really nice guy. He has jobs lined up when he gets out from connections he has, construction and tattoo jobs hes a tattoo artist also, aren't as hard to get with convictions as other jobs. The assault was when he was young.. and only considered a misdemeanor. He hasn't had a conviction for 5 years, his problem is he violated prole so is still in the system.. but he knows what he has to do now.

[Christi and Ian 24]

Sara,

Welcome to VJ.

By "minor felonies," do you mean felonies that he committed as a minor (under age 18)? If not, what is the distinction to be drawn between a "minor" felony and any other felony? I'm merely curious.

Regarding your questions about how long the process takes, VJ has considerable resources at your disposal. For example, see "Immigration Timelines" (clickable near the top of every page).

Stay in touch with us.

There are infractions, misdemeanors and felonies. The difference being the violation of a local, state or US law.

Violation of Parole is pretty serious, being that you're basically still a prisoner, only they allow you serve the remainder of your sentence in the outside world.

I would imagine DV would be a red flag (domestic violence).

I hope you're correct when you say he plans on changing his life, or you're in for a very difficult road ahead. Changing one's life usually means a complete change in one's friends, hangouts and habits...believe me, I see this every single day...

[justashooter 430]

I have a load of misds. and one felony. Other than asking my fiance a few questions to make sure he was aware of my history there was no problem.

Thats good to know for me! im worrying i wont be able to be with him.. he is a few minor felonies.. he is only 23 and really wants to turn his life around now. He skipped parole to do that which wasnt the best idea (before he met me), so he has to do 4 months for that.

one burglary and several misdemeanors by the age of 23, including an assault at the age of 15, is not an indicator of a stable development. but, as you're in kollege, i'm sure you already heard that in psych 101. many people have "turned their life around" after such a start, but the process is difficult.

getting a good job with a felony record is difficult. learning to solve problems in a constructive manner after 8 years of solving them by destructive methods is also difficult. i wish you the best in your future life, but would advise you to be careful in your decision making.

i have been a manufacturing supervisor over employees with criminal records. the results were a mixed bag, but the odds are against you. you only have one life to live, so make your choices carefully.

Thanks. But i know him and its my life and i know what im doing. Despite convictions he is a really nice guy. He has jobs lined up when he gets out from connections he has, construction and tattoo jobs hes a tattoo artist also, aren't as hard to get with convictions as other jobs. The assault was when he was young.. and only considered a misdemeanor. He hasn't had a conviction for 5 years, his problem is he violated prole so is still in the system.. but he knows what he has to do now.

everybody is a nice guy for awhile. i can't tell you how many women i know whose husbands were nice guys while they were dating. hell, you should have seen the women lined up to date me when i was a #######. he's in jail now? great, you must be very happy, but i hope you're used to alternate methods of contraception. he is gonna come out with a preference you might not like.

construction jobs are about as reliable as central city weather forecasts and are full of ex-cons and hell on the physical condition. men get old fast in construction. "connections" are often potential points of criminal contact, and tattoo parlours are great places to raise your children. you're a clever young woman with a wonderful life ahead of you. make the most of it and forget the "bad boy". paul wrote to the corinthians (2nd epistle, 6:14) about 2000 years ago that they should "be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers". this applies in marriage and all other relationships and is not limited to religion in principle. paul was talking about fellowship (hanging out), in general.

5 years parole? this is not something you get for swiping a candy bar. you need to find out for yourself what you are getting into. contact the district attourney's office in his jail state/city and ask if they have a websight you can search for convictions records by name and date of birth on. most states have such a site. you might be surprised by what you find.

here's one for pennsylvania, but it comes with a fee:

https://epatch.state.pa.us/Home.jsp

try to find one that is run by the state your hubby lives in, rather than some for profit site.

you think i'm being tough on you? my daughter is 22 and not making the best choices, either. she is about as willing to hear as you are. i didn't get to 45 years of age without a scar or twelve, so maybe you can learn from them without getting cut yourself. i'm only giving you hell because i care.

[TBoneTX 43,373]

i'm only giving you hell because i care.

OP, you didn't ask for this kind of advice, but it's well worth heeding. Marriage is far more expensive than I ever dreamed, and I have stable, decent-paying employment. Financial stress is a leading cause of divorce (and marital strife before that -- personal experience, here), and justashooter's evaluation of your fiance's economic prospects in the construction field is believable. Adding to it: I live in a huge city, and I personally know (knew) FIVE tattoo artists who had to leave that business because they couldn't earn a living. What if your fiance sustains even a slight injury that prevents him from being able to work in either industry? Who would hire him, and for what level of job? Please consider your prospects over the long term, including one or more babies who would need to be protected, fed, and given medical care.

I'm trying to be as gentle as possible and talk with you as one adult to another, and I'm posting it because I care, too.

[utopia2004 2]

Thankyou i do appreciate your advice and support.

Im not rushing into marriage with him, im going to concentrate on our relationship for now. We love each other so i a going to try to make it work for that, i dont want to be with anyone else.

Edited October 9, 2009 by utopia2004

[utopia2004 2]

I do apologize for all the questions.

Is it better to wait a while after being married before applying for the green card? by the time we would be getting married we would be together over a year, with lots of correspondence, evidence etc.. Is it advisable to be together longer than this, what is the situation regarding this?

Thanks again.

[TBoneTX 43,373]

Is it better to wait a while after being married before applying for the green card?

If you enter on a K-1 visa, you have 90 days in which to marry. It is advisable to apply for AOS (with EAD & AP) as soon as possible thereafter. Remember to budget the $1,010 fee well ahead of time as "untouchable for any other reason." A lot of couples fall financially short and go "out of status" -- a potentially perilous situation to avoid like the plague.

[Christi and Ian 24]

I have a load of misds. and one felony. Other than asking my fiance a few questions to make sure he was aware of my history there was no problem.

Thats good to know for me! im worrying i wont be able to be with him.. he is a few minor felonies.. he is only 23 and really wants to turn his life around now. He skipped parole to do that which wasnt the best idea (before he met me), so he has to do 4 months for that.

one burglary and several misdemeanors by the age of 23, including an assault at the age of 15, is not an indicator of a stable development. but, as you're in kollege, i'm sure you already heard that in psych 101. many people have "turned their life around" after such a start, but the process is difficult.

getting a good job with a felony record is difficult. learning to solve problems in a constructive manner after 8 years of solving them by destructive methods is also difficult. i wish you the best in your future life, but would advise you to be careful in your decision making.

i have been a manufacturing supervisor over employees with criminal records. the results were a mixed bag, but the odds are against you. you only have one life to live, so make your choices carefully.

Thanks. But i know him and its my life and i know what im doing. Despite convictions he is a really nice guy. He has jobs lined up when he gets out from connections he has, construction and tattoo jobs hes a tattoo artist also, aren't as hard to get with convictions as other jobs. The assault was when he was young.. and only considered a misdemeanor. He hasn't had a conviction for 5 years, his problem is he violated prole so is still in the system.. but he knows what he has to do now.

everybody is a nice guy for awhile. i can't tell you how many women i know whose husbands were nice guys while they were dating. hell, you should have seen the women lined up to date me when i was a #######. he's in jail now? great, you must be very happy, but i hope you're used to alternate methods of contraception. he is gonna come out with a preference you might not like.

construction jobs are about as reliable as central city weather forecasts and are full of ex-cons and hell on the physical condition. men get old fast in construction. "connections" are often potential points of criminal contact, and tattoo parlours are great places to raise your children. you're a clever young woman with a wonderful life ahead of you. make the most of it and forget the "bad boy". paul wrote to the corinthians (2nd epistle, 6:14) about 2000 years ago that they should "be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers". this applies in marriage and all other relationships and is not limited to religion in principle. paul was talking about fellowship (hanging out), in general.

5 years parole? this is not something you get for swiping a candy bar. you need to find out for yourself what you are getting into. contact the district attourney's office in his jail state/city and ask if they have a websight you can search for convictions records by name and date of birth on. most states have such a site. you might be surprised by what you find.

here's one for pennsylvania, but it comes with a fee:

https://epatch.state.pa.us/Home.jsp

try to find one that is run by the state your hubby lives in, rather than some for profit site.

you think i'm being tough on you? my daughter is 22 and not making the best choices, either. she is about as willing to hear as you are. i didn't get to 45 years of age without a scar or twelve, so maybe you can learn from them without getting cut yourself. i'm only giving you hell because i care.

Oh such fantastic advice!! Only together a year...I advise waiting at LEAST another year before making such a life-changing decision.

Working for the Public Defender's office I get to see on a daily basis just how difficult it is for anyone, especially ex-felons. If he continues to hang out in the same places, with the same people, it's only a matter of time before he's committed another crime. Add to that the fact that it IS very difficult to get a decent job having a felony on your record...which leads to frustration...which leads to anger, which leads again, to crime.

Unfortunately the odds are stacked pretty heavily against you. As difficult as it is to hear, I suggest waiting long enough to see if he does change his life around...and that means having a stable job and a stable place of his own, as well as time enough to prove that he's not going back to that life.

[utopia2004 2]

By the time we are married i think that will be enough time to gather this. We plan to move away from his area when he has finished probation, so that will be moving away from his friends etc.

With regards to jobs, it does depend on the type of job, i know first hand that ex felons can work relatively easily in the construction industry. As i already mentioned my boyfriend has connections from old employers, and has been offered him jobs when he gets out. I know our/my situation, no one on here does.. so i know what is best for me. But i appreciate the advice anyway

[Christi and Ian 24]

By the time we are married i think that will be enough time to gather this. We plan to move away from his area when he has finished probation, so that will be moving away from his friends etc.

With regards to jobs, it does depend on the type of job, i know first hand that ex felons can work relatively easily in the construction industry. As i already mentioned my boyfriend has connections from old employers, and has been offered him jobs when he gets out. I know our/my situation, no one on here does.. so i know what is best for me. But i appreciate the advice anyway

I am in no way whatsoever trying to discourage you, I hope I didn't come across that way.

FYI - be sure to ask permission from the Probation Department / The Court of Law, before moving away, and get it in writing; otherwise he's violated his probation and will go back to jail.

[utopia2004 2]

By the time we are married i think that will be enough time to gather this. We plan to move away from his area when he has finished probation, so that will be moving away from his friends etc.

With regards to jobs, it does depend on the type of job, i know first hand that ex felons can work relatively easily in the construction industry. As i already mentioned my boyfriend has connections from old employers, and has been offered him jobs when he gets out. I know our/my situation, no one on here does.. so i know what is best for me. But i appreciate the advice anyway

I am in no way whatsoever trying to discourage you, I hope I didn't come across that way.

FYI - be sure to ask permission from the Probation Department / The Court of Law, before moving away, and get it in writing; otherwise he's violated his probation and will go back to jail.

Even after hes finished his probation? i thought he was free to go where ever, otherwise wouldn't he still be on probation?

Thats ok i didnt think that.

[Christi and Ian 24]

By the time we are married i think that will be enough time to gather this. We plan to move away from his area when he has finished probation, so that will be moving away from his friends etc.

With regards to jobs, it does depend on the type of job, i know first hand that ex felons can work relatively easily in the construction industry. As i already mentioned my boyfriend has connections from old employers, and has been offered him jobs when he gets out. I know our/my situation, no one on here does.. so i know what is best for me. But i appreciate the advice anyway

I am in no way whatsoever trying to discourage you, I hope I didn't come across that way.

FYI - be sure to ask permission from the Probation Department / The Court of Law, before moving away, and get it in writing; otherwise he's violated his probation and will go back to jail.

Even after hes finished his probation? i thought he was free to go where ever, otherwise wouldn't he still be on probation?

Thats ok i didnt think that.

Oh no - if probation has been terminated, you're right - he can go where he wishes - but even that has to be done by the court, and it's NOT always done automatically. Also, make sure you know the exact date his probation ends - sometimes it's extended - usually by YEARS.

If he stays out of trouble, he can also request that probation be terminated early. Again, make sure the court is on top of it, they're over worked, and you'd be surprised how many things are NOT documented by the court clerk - I see this every day - make sure that when his probation IS terminated that it CLEARLY states this in the courts minutes. I've seen the jails refuse to release prisoners because the court clerk forgot to reflect that they were to be released in the courts minutes.

[utopia2004 2]

Thanks will do that :-)

i did hear from that they are not legally allowed to extend a sentence for no good reason. My boyfriend had a friend who was in prison, they extended his sentence for no reason, he did the extra time, when he got out he hired a lawyer and sued each extra day he was held in prison, won thousands apparently.

[Christi and Ian 24]

Thanks will do that :-)

i did hear from that they are not legally allowed to extend a sentence for no good reason. My boyfriend had a friend who was in prison, they extended his sentence for no reason, he did the extra time, when he got out he hired a lawyer and sued each extra day he was held in prison, won thousands apparently.

Oh geez, you'd be surprised what they can get away with saying is a "good reason". Still, they do have to operate within the confines of the law. Sometimes they think they are gods. That's why the Public Defenders office is here - to keep them honest...

It's like an police officer pulling someone over and searching their vehicle for "probable cause", just about ANYTHING is considered probable cause - even down to the light bulb illuminating their license plate was burned out.

And keep in mind - the very first term of probation is "violate no law" - that means, even a parking ticket is a violation of probation - and they can push the issue if they're feeling particularly ornery.

I saw that you mentioned above, however, that he's on parole. Parole is different from probation...

Probation - is usually given in lieu of a more severe sentence. As long as you adhere to all laws & meet w/your probation officer, you're allowed to live in the community, and avoid a more severe penalty.

Parole is a conditional release from prison - the judge allows you to serve the remainder of your sentence in the community provided all conditions of your parole are met...

[Christi and Ian 24]

Thanks will do that :-)

i did hear from that they are not legally allowed to extend a sentence for no good reason. My boyfriend had a friend who was in prison, they extended his sentence for no reason, he did the extra time, when he got out he hired a lawyer and sued each extra day he was held in prison, won thousands apparently.

Oh geez, you'd be surprised what they can get away with saying is a "good reason". Still, they do have to operate within the confines of the law. Sometimes they think they are gods. That's why the Public Defenders office is here - to keep them honest...

It's like an police officer pulling someone over and searching their vehicle for "probable cause", just about ANYTHING is considered probable cause - even down to the light bulb illuminating their license plate was burned out.

And keep in mind - the very first term of probation is "violate no law" - that means, even a parking ticket is a violation of probation - and they can push the issue if they're feeling particularly ornery.

I saw that you mentioned above, however, that he's on parole. Parole is different from probation...

Probation - is usually given in lieu of a more severe sentence. As long as you adhere to all laws & meet w/your probation officer, you're allowed to live in the community, and avoid a more severe penalty.

Parole is a conditional release from prison - the judge allows you to serve the remainder of your sentence in the community provided all conditions of your parole are met...

Also - if someone goes to prison - Probation is usually terminated right then and there - as there is no need to be on probation if you're in prison...and if you're released from prison early, you go on parole...