Need advice on this emotional/logical conflict

[Isabel 0]

Hi guys,

I really have a problem. Since the NBC is sending out these RFE's lately and with my CR1 already being processed at the NVC Im in a conflict. My husband wants me in the US the fastest way possible. Even when I tell him that the fastest (so maybe K3) isnt the better way, he doesnt really care. He just wanna be with me again. He also doesnt care if he has to spend much more money on AOS and EAD and has to keep his 2nd job. But I do care. Since we are already at the NVC stage with our immigrant visa, why would I enter the states on the K3??????

He is getting desperate now. Me too, I have to admitt. It has been 2 months now since we last saw each other. Im in the conflict that I really wanna be with him ASAP but I also dont wanna have him work a 2nd job anymore and I dont wanna just be stucked in the states waiting for EAD and all that stuff.

Anyone has the same problem? I dont know what to do

Isabel

[luvaLimey 0]

It doesn't make much sense to have you there in the States with him if he never gets to see you from having to work 2 jobs...

But since you've startd both, (if it were me) I'd just be tempted to ride them both out, wait until one or the other is issued, and look at finances realistically at that point.

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

Why not grab the K3 if it is sufficiently ahead of the CR1, head over here and then go back to Frankfurt once the CR1 visa is ready to be processed and issued. You sort of get both things that way (get here the fastest way possible and have the CR1 in the end not having to mess with the EAD/AOS process and all) but will be out something to the tune of $800.00 or whatever a roundtrip ticket costs these days. Sounds like something I might consider if the expected wait time between K3 and CR1 would be more than a month or two. If it's less than that, wait for the CR1 and scrap the K3. Just aint worth the hassle down the road, IMHO, to pursue the K3 if you can have the immigrant visa less than 2 months later...

Whatever you decide: Viel Glück!

[Marilyn. 340]

Why not grab the K3 if it is sufficiently ahead of the CR1, head over here and then go back to Frankfurt once the CR1 visa is ready to be processed and issued. You sort of get both things that way (get here the fastest way possible and have the CR1 in the end not having to mess with the EAD/AOS process and all) but will be out something to the tune of $800.00 or whatever a roundtrip ticket costs these days. Sounds like something I might consider if the expected wait time between K3 and CR1 would be more than a month or two. If it's less than that, wait for the CR1 and scrap the K3. Just aint worth the hassle down the road, IMHO, to pursue the K3 if you can have the immigrant visa less than 2 months later...

Whatever you decide: Viel Glück!

yeah, what he said

[Joel Halfwassen 0]

Ugh. Here is my opinion. Go with the CR-1 and look at this as an investment. Emotionally - The waiting will make the time together be worth more. Finacially - You can get a job from day one. More money in the bank.

Joel

[MrsAmera 41]

I agree to wait for the CR-1. When you are finally together it will make life sooo much easier for both of you. A few more weeks/months will really be worth it in the end. Maybe just throw in another visit since you have the K3....

[KarenCee 3]

Hi guys,

I really have a problem. Since the NBC is sending out these RFE's lately and with my CR1 already being processed at the NVC Im in a conflict. My husband wants me in the US the fastest way possible. Even when I tell him that the fastest (so maybe K3) isnt the better way, he doesnt really care. He just wanna be with me again. He also doesnt care if he has to spend much more money on AOS and EAD and has to keep his 2nd job. But I do care. Since we are already at the NVC stage with our immigrant visa, why would I enter the states on the K3??????

He is getting desperate now. Me too, I have to admitt. It has been 2 months now since we last saw each other. Im in the conflict that I really wanna be with him ASAP but I also dont wanna have him work a 2nd job anymore and I dont wanna just be stucked in the states waiting for EAD and all that stuff.

Anyone has the same problem? I dont know what to do

Isabel

Patience is a virtue, and I know it ain't easy! Not sure how to answer the K3 question as we went the K1 route. I know the time apart is hard...there were many times we went five months without being together. I have to work two jobs until my husband gets his EAD. It's just one of those things you HAVE to wait for. No way around that. I don't know of any way to hurry up that part of the process. Wish I could have been more help.

[Isabel 0]

HI guys,

thanks so much for your replies. I agree to wait for the CR1. As it looks like now it wont be very much of a difference, maybe a few weeks. But how to explain that to my hubby . It makes me sick to see him so

I.

[rebeccajo 14]

Isabel, I read your other thread about your husband going to the strip club. Which of course was most likely innocent and just plain old guy fun.

I do kinda wonder if he went cause he's missing you though. Guys do stuff like that when they are lonely.

I agree with ET that if you could come over on the K3 and then go back and finalize your CR1, that would be the best choice.

[Isabel 0]

he is missing me alot . Guys go to a strip club cos they miss their girl? Hm....guys are soooo different. You know if the K3 comes through real quick and the CR1 is still 4 weeks away I would probably choose to come over on the K3.

Man I am in such a crappy mood the last days:(. And we have just been apart for 2 months now. It seems like forever though.

I.

[rebeccajo 14]

I don't want to put ideas in your head about your husband's behavior, Izzy. But guys are just guys. I've got lots of marital experience under my belt (albeit not all rosy) and that bit about him going to the club was just sort of my opinion.

[Isabel 0]

I don't want to put ideas in your head about your husband's behavior, Izzy. But guys are just guys. I've got lots of marital experience under my belt (albeit not all rosy) and that bit about him going to the club was just sort of my opinion.

well I know he didnt do it to make me upset. And the thing is that your are totally right. MAN are WEIRD. And they complain about not being able to understand us (women).

I.

[rebeccajo 14]

I don't want to put ideas in your head about your husband's behavior, Izzy. But guys are just guys. I've got lots of marital experience under my belt (albeit not all rosy) and that bit about him going to the club was just sort of my opinion.

well I know he didnt do it to make me upset. And the thing is that your are totally right. MAN are WEIRD. And they complain about not being able to understand us (women).

I.

Yeah you got that right.

[j&js 0]

he is missing me alot . Guys go to a strip club cos they miss their girl? Hm....guys are soooo different. You know if the K3 comes through real quick and the CR1 is still 4 weeks away I would probably choose to come over on the K3.

Man I am in such a crappy mood the last days:(. And we have just been apart for 2 months now. It seems like forever though.

I.

Is there no way you could go for a visit while waiting for the CR1?

I know that 2 months was always my breaking point - whenever James and I were apart for that long I would start to feel antsy and insecure and even depressed although I am generally a very strong person emotionally.

So I understand you just want the quickest way out, but my humble advice would be to wait out the option that gives you the better start once you get here, especially since its already on track. Its not just so that he won't have to work two jobs, but because I think having the ability to work, etc. when you first get here helps with the adjusting. I know my husband feels fustrated that he can't contribute a paycheck just yet and that he doesnt know ANYONE here outside of my family and friends, because he never has the opportunity to meet them. Don't get me wrong, we're not complaining, happy to be together and all, but I think if we had been faced with an option like that I would want the more time apart since its so small a difference in the long run and would mean him getting off to a better start in America. Once you finally get here and you've been here awhile, the extra few weeks won't make a difference, but the EAD might! Good luck!

[Isabel 0]

he is missing me alot . Guys go to a strip club cos they miss their girl? Hm....guys are soooo different. You know if the K3 comes through real quick and the CR1 is still 4 weeks away I would probably choose to come over on the K3.

Man I am in such a crappy mood the last days:(. And we have just been apart for 2 months now. It seems like forever though.

I.

Is there no way you could go for a visit while waiting for the CR1?

I was told not to do so, cos our case is already at the NVC. And it is listed in the computers, so I dont know. I dont wanna take the risk to get send back.

I.