Explaining to your SO that you are poor

[baron555 934]

Secondly I am not sure how much many things that she needs costs.

Well Grasshopper, there is your mission. Go to the store with a pen and paper and start doing some research.

You could have her contact one of the wives that have already come here to get a second opinion!?

[WalkonWildSide 0]

Wow, interesting. So you pay to import a product that is grown locally because all of the local product is exported. You guys must have been infected by stupidity from the mainland.

We have the same situation with milk. We have plenty of cows on the islands. The milk that is produced is flown to LA to be processed and sold on the mainland. The milk at the local supermarket is flown in from the mainland. Hence we have $8 a gallon milk. Lovely!!!

I'm originally from Colorado, where they import most of their cantaloupe, even though most of the cantaloupe grown in the US from Rocky Ford, CO. But it's almost all exported now. You go to a grocery store within a half mile of a cantaloupe farm in CO, and you're buying Mexican cantaloupe. Go figure.

I have always wondered, who buys the Colorado cantaloupe?

Don't sweat the financial stuff. It's stability that's going to be the most important to her. Once she understands that you have a steady job and that you won't be sleeping out on the streets or wondering where your next meal is coming from, she won't be terribly bothered about the rest. Unless she's related so Slim's wife, and then all bets are off.

Hopefully things will be stabilize. I like most people in Hawaii work in a tourist dependent industry and things are not too rosy in the tourist industry lately.

Glad she isn't related to Slim's wife. Although from the pictures on Slim's myspace page, wouldn't mind having Slim as a relative-in-law?

[WalkonWildSide 0]

MIL asked the wife, recently, if we had enough money for food. Now I know she's been telling her I'm poor, but come on. I didn't get the name slim by skipping meals!

Ya what's up with that? I have a feeling it is related to the fact that the prices for food and staple items have gone way up in the FSU. The exchange rate has taken a beating lately. Maybe her mum is having problems buying food.

I did tell her that its ok if I can't afford food. I can miss a few meals, it won't affect me.

I know the stories get a little far-fetched through the phone because when sis-in-law arrived here last year and we pulled into the driveway she thought our detached garage/shack was our house. "ahhhh... gdye dom?" Seems when wifey was telling her about our small, old, poor, apartment she laid it on pretty thick.

Nice!!!

Someone was telling me when he brought his wife over, it was a long drive from the airport to his house. He decided to stop at a hunting blind / shack. Got out of his truck and said, here we are! At least she thought it was funny.

I am thinking of going to the poorest part of Honolulu and saying, here we are. At least it will reset her expectations, so when she sees my real apartment building she won't think it is too terrible.

Until we're smart enough to vote all of these "common sense" politicians out of office, we'll keep eating more of this nonsense.

One of the constants in the universe is that stupid politicians will always get re-elected and the voters will keep asking, who voted for this guy?

[WalkonWildSide 0]

Russian doctors are so much better than Canadian doctors (inferring that American doctors are terrible) why do you have to pay so much?

Well Canadian doctors are free, so you get what you pay for.

Maybe you need to move to Canada because you don't understand.

I just thought this was funny since you wrote that your fiancee doesn't 'get' Hawaii.

Actually I do understand it 100%. Her particular situation is that she is an immigrant to Canada. Her employer pays for her insurance and her employer is a doctor. So to her, yes her medical care is 100% free. She doesn't pay for any of it.

She one experience with one Canadian doctor and judged all Canadian doctors equally. Personally I think Canadian doctors are well educated and well trained. Ya sure there are a few quacks in the bunch, but all professions have as much.

[trailmix 77]

Russian doctors are so much better than Canadian doctors (inferring that American doctors are terrible) why do you have to pay so much?

Well Canadian doctors are free, so you get what you pay for.

Maybe you need to move to Canada because you don't understand.

I just thought this was funny since you wrote that your fiancee doesn't 'get' Hawaii.

Actually I do understand it 100%. Her particular situation is that she is an immigrant to Canada. Her employer pays for her insurance and her employer is a doctor. So to her, yes her medical care is 100% free. She doesn't pay for any of it.

She one experience with one Canadian doctor and judged all Canadian doctors equally. Personally I think Canadian doctors are well educated and well trained. Ya sure there are a few quacks in the bunch, but all professions have as much.

Ok. Well if you had said "Her medical coverage in Canada is free because her employer is also her Doctor and he pays for her additional insurance and you get what you pay for" - then I would have understood it that way.

But you said - "Canadian doctors are free, so you get what you pay for"

So you can see how that might cause some .... confusion

[Blues Fairy 0]

Are you sure you can afford her? Looks like unless she gets a job there'll be no pineapples.

[Chuckles 0]

"How much does a pineapple cost?

For a whole pineapple, $7."

Why not raid the pineapple fields at night for a second income?

Edited May 13, 2009 by Chuckles

[WalkonWildSide 0]

Are you sure you can afford her? Looks like unless she gets a job there'll be no pineapples.

Can any man - with a normal job - really afford a woman?

I am hoping she will get a job as soon as possible, I love pineapples.

Why not raid the pineapple fields at night for a second income?

Damn morality. I can't do anything illegal or what I consider immoral.

[Ellie-and-David 38]

just break it down where the money goes....

And dont give her a credit card yet.....

[Brit Abroad 166]

My husband moaned like crazy about the cost of living in the UK (not exactly a cheap alternative), until he got posted to Hawaii. Now he can't wait to return to mainland USA.

It might benefit you both to draw up a monthly/quarterly spreadsheet of income and outgoings, showing your total outlay and how you spend any extra. If you can show her what allowance she would have if she doesn't work, and then chart the difference if she had an income, you might be helping her to understand the quality of life associated with her future choice(s).

It may also help you find unexpected areas where you can recoup money. To give you a simple example:- When I moved to the island the food bill went down hugely, as hubby had a fast food addiction to match his lack of cooking skill.

[mox 298]

I have always wondered, who buys the Colorado cantaloupe?

Canadian doctors use them to practice surgery on, I think.

(honestly, I think they're just shipped to anywhere not Colorado.)

[slim 1,514]

Well Grasshopper, there is your mission. Go to the store with a pen and paper and start doing some research.

Don't waste your time doing that. She'll just find different/more expensive stuff anyway.

One of my personal victories is I have my wife convinced generic brands are just as good as name brand stuff. Victory is mine!

I have a feeling it is related to the fact that the prices for food and staple items have gone way up in the FSU. The exchange rate has taken a beating lately. Maybe her mum is having problems buying food.

No, she just constantly complains how we have no money and so her mom has worried to the point where she doesn't know if we have food or not.

I am thinking of going to the poorest part of Honolulu and saying, here we are. At least it will reset her expectations, so when she sees my real apartment building she won't think it is too terrible.

The problem with me doing that is I live in one of the poorest parts of Cincinnati so it's not much of a stretch to pass from the worst of the worst to our house. Couple blocks isn't far enough I guess.

Can any man - with a normal job - really afford a woman?

[WalkonWildSide 0]

Well Grasshopper, there is your mission. Go to the store with a pen and paper and start doing some research.

Don't waste your time doing that. She'll just find different/more expensive stuff anyway.

The problem with finding out the cost of items, I have no idea which brand and which items she needs. Good example when I was staying with her and the brand of shampoo that was in the bottle was not the brand on the label. Ya, makes it difficult.

One of my personal victories is I have my wife convinced generic brands are just as good as name brand stuff. Victory is mine!

Do tell, do tell! I want to learn the secret on how you convinced her. Personally I am not hung up on brand names, generics are just fine.

No, she just constantly complains how we have no money and so her mom has worried to the point where she doesn't know if we have food or not.

So how much money does she want or need? Seriously? Is she expecting you to be in the Billionaires club? Then would she complain that your private jet only has 8 seats instead of 12?

[WalkonWildSide 0]

It may also help you find unexpected areas where you can recoup money. To give you a simple example:- When I moved to the island the food bill went down hugely, as hubby had a fast food addiction to match his lack of cooking skill.

I know this is one expense that will be reduced even thought it will be 2 people, instead of 1. The rationale is that I buy pre-made items from the deli at the local Foodland. I am truly uneducated in the food preparation arena.

[slim 1,514]

One of my personal victories is I have my wife convinced generic brands are just as good as name brand stuff. Victory is mine!

Do tell, do tell! I want to learn the secret on how you convinced her. Personally I am not hung up on brand names, generics are just fine.

I explained how generics are often made by the same companies but packaged differently. "See, this name brand item priced at $3.87 is made in Kalamazoo, Mi. This store brand item is also made in Kalamazoo and it's only $2.39. Now, why would two products that are made in the same place be priced differently if they're the same thing? Because people want to pay for the name that they saw on TV or in the magazine. Why are we going to be stupid like these people and pay extra money?"

RWs (and all women for that matter) love it when you tell them they're smarter than someone. It's kind of like they just figured out a huge secret. If you can't swing that, deal the death blow - "any money we save on food can be spent on cosmetics." Guaranteed you'll be eating Food Lion brand everything after that.

Anyway, most generic products don't really matter as they're "American food." Russian food - soup, vegetables, meat, etc. - will be bought "natural" anyway so you don't have to worry about that. But don't get me started on the "regular vs. organic" debate. Luckily my wife is just happy to have fresh veggies year round so she doesn't really care if they're organic or not but when she shops it's one price and when I shop it's another. Why? Location! Product placement geniuses (genii?) have strategically placed the organic food closer to the door so you come across it first. (Mix in some lighting, more convenient location to the main aisle, etc., and it's over.) "Put that back, that's organic. Do you really want to pay an extra two dollars just because there are no chemicals? Come on! Buy the chemicals and save two bucks! That two bucks can be used for cosmetics...." Works every time!

No, she just constantly complains how we have no money and so her mom has worried to the point where she doesn't know if we have food or not.

So how much money does she want or need? Seriously? Is she expecting you to be in the Billionaires club? Then would she complain that your private jet only has 8 seats instead of 12?

MegaMillions winning would be about right. But, like you, I believe if we're in the millionaires club she'd want the billionaires club and so on. Til then, it's generic, chemical-filled cheap as we can get store-bought crapola all day long!