First Visit Home

[Slightly Bonkers 0]

it definitely feels that all I do is come on VJ and complain but I swear, I'm happy most of the time!!

I'm just wondering how you all dealt with your first visit home, post AOS. All the questions, about work, life, etc.

So I'm back in Ireland for a week visit home after a July departure, an August wedding, September AOS, December AP and EAD. It was a very last minute trip, booked on tuesday, flew on thursday.

I've travelled a lot before and lived abroad on a number of occasions. This kind of feels like a welcome home from one of those trips but without any of the hopefulness that comes with it. I feel many of my friends are purposely pulling back from me, knowing that in a week I'll be on the end of skype again.

I also worry that I'm too negative. I hate the weather where I live and the 90 days waiting for EAD was particularly hard on me. I feel like, unlike previous homecomings where I was full of enthusiastic exciting stories of my adventures abroad, all I'm talking about this time are kitchen renovations and the difference between Celsius and Fahrenheit. I know most of the questions asked tend to evoke negative answers from me - how do you find the weather? are you making new friends? hows the work situation? blah blah.

I guess I'm going through a real bitter-sweet experience right now and am wondering if it's just me ...

[Emancipation 2]

Hmmmm I understand your feelings, and it's tough cause you are still in the 'not yet' stage.. a lot of the pieces of the puzzle haven't been put together for you.. give it time.. I've been here 2 years and just now feeling like I'm fitting in, that things are not so strange etc..

[MrsAmera 41]

Hi,

Although my husband is the one that immigrated, your story really reminds me what he struggled with after his first trip home. He really wasn't have a good go of things here in the states but on his return it wasn't quite what he'd imagined either. In the end it boiled down to the fact that he had changed a lot and wasn't sure how to handle the life he once led at home.

As for not liking where you are now - Green Bay WI...in the winter time. It's not so pretty! I grew up 100 miles north of there and well I think everyone gets pretty bummed out in the winter! My husband (from sunny Morocco) HATED when we lived in WI, literally hated it. There were not enough negative things he could say about it. We moved to Washington D.C. and now he says how he wishes we lived in WI, for the friendly people, the closeness, the safety, and other reasons. I think you're just at an inbetween stage, and hopefully will be able to make the best of your life in the US, or you and your husband can work to find another location to move to that might be more appealing for both of you!

[Krikit 1,166]

Yeah. I totally know where you're coming from. I went through the same thing. Now, two years in, I feel like I am home and I'm not so negative about everything anymore. I went through a horrible time where it felt like my family and friends had pulled back and were ignoring me, also. Now we're back to exactly the way things were before I left so I guess everyone has to go through the grieving process. Give it time, Bonkers. The planets will realign and everything will be fine again.

[tom&tata 2]

My first visit was after 2 years of moving. I already felt "partly at home" in US at the time, although I still call Indonesia home. I still hate the winter & driving in snow but when I went back to Indonesia I hated the traffic jam & humidity. I love being home & meeting the family but I missed my own place in US. It was hard when I had to leave yet I was anxious to get back to my "normal" living. And it felt weird that I actually started feeling at home in US especially because I had to leave my family & I miss them everyday!

We are going back again this year and I am not sure how is it going to be. I guess I am still in not yet stage - at least for a while. I know for a fact that it will be hard again when it is time to leave although I am grateful I will be able to see them again. It's not easy & I think it will be like that for a while..