fellow VJers please share wisdom: co-sponsoring

[ninaetmilo 0]

I need guidance and some words of wisdom from fellow VJers.

I just want to be with my husband, and wait with him during this process. I have spoken with my parents about co-sponsoring, and they are fine with it. I have also built good savings that i do not expect to touch until he arrives even if i decide to stay in the US or go to be with my husband.(this is just to have some financial security) My husband already has a job waiting for him once he arrives (his company wants him to continue working for them with a satellite company in the US). So, i feel confident that I should be able to go and wait out with him the process. Can anybody please offer me their opinion/expertise?

THANKS!

[Jaqui 0]

I share your pain, not sure which route you are taking but we will have to file a waiver (because he EWI). So he face the 10 year ban, so we have to prove extreme hardship for myself (USC) if he is not admitted to the US or if I have to move to to El Salvador. I have co-sponsor and am financially secure. Unfortunately, I believe being financially secure is a negative thing when trying to prove extreme hardship. As of now I am saying that I am moving with him to wait out the waiver period which is estimated to be 6-9 months. Not sure if this will affect me adversely, but in consulting with lawyers they say it doesnt matter if I am with him there or we are apart as long as I can prove that my move there is a TEMPORARY situation and it cannot become permanent.

[Garu 0]

I need guidance and some words of wisdom from fellow VJers.

I just want to be with my husband, and wait with him during this process. I have spoken with my parents about co-sponsoring, and they are fine with it. I have also built good savings that i do not expect to touch until he arrives even if i decide to stay in the US or go to be with my husband.(this is just to have some financial security) My husband already has a job waiting for him once he arrives (his company wants him to continue working for them with a satellite company in the US). So, i feel confident that I should be able to go and wait out with him the process. Can anybody please offer me their opinion/expertise?

THANKS!

Interesting opportunity. I would suggest you make 100% sure co-sponsoring is not a problem (meaning the income ratios of your parents are satisfactory, they have properties, assets, etc) and if it looks like there is no problem at all, then go to Colombia temporarily.

As a U.S. Citizen you would probably get your passport stamped with a tourist visa for a few months when you get there (I get 90 days every time I go to Peru and I have been there nine times in one year with no problems from either Peru or the U.S.). So if your time expires, you can go out to a nearby country for a quick vacation and come back.

The main benefit I see of you spending time there is that you will be in his “turf”. His country, his culture, which after all, is part of who he is. This will help you to get to know that side of him; of his world. Is not the same when you go as a tourist of when you go to visit him for a little while knowing you will be returning, or when you went for the wedding; it’s not the same.

If you are new to his culture you might find yourself lost sometimes and find many day-to-day things that make no sense to you because we do it differently. He will have to become your “cultural attaché” I still can’t get over a frigging guy making noise with a whistle all over the neighborhood early in the morning selling fresh bread door to door! But they love it there! This will help you to be more understanding when he is here because he will be facing many new things just like you did when you were there. And in his case the change will be permanent; not temporary.

When I go to Peru, I blend with the regular people and perform day to day activities (go to supermarket, the mall, drycleaners, movies, etc) just as if I lived there. It has not been easy at all. But it makes it a lot easier for me to understand the drastic change that a person has to go through when they move to another country; everything is new, everything is different. I think I will be more patient and understanding when she is here because I have experienced 5% of what she will experience.

This applies of course if you are not Colombian. If you are and lived there enough, then you already know the cultural differences. Either way, I would have given anything to be able to spend this time together with my wife in her Country. It will make the wait time and the dealings with USCIS 1000% more bearable. If you are not Colombian and you both have a little bit of spending money I recommend you do quick trips in the Country; get to know places that only locals know; let him show you what he likes and makes him proud of his country. Get to know his friends, his hangout places. Enjoy your time there!

Good luck to you.

[SerenityNOW 11]

I did this and I can't recommend it enough! I left the U.S. in May and we received his visa in August (faster than I was thinking it would be - there is just no ability to plan with this process ...). We had already been apart for 8 months before that. And there was ZERO chance of him visiting me, since he was denied a tourist visa (before we were married - then he would have to wait another year to re-apply) so I was draining my savings with trips to Europe...

Anyway - when I was toying with this idea, I posted this question and several people responded and we worked out some things to consider. Your situation might be different but hopefully this will help.

1. First, is your obvious lower or lack of income. You have that covered with the joint sponsor. I did the same, lined up my mother as a co-sponsor and didn't even have to use her (I had already cleared the minimum salary for 2008 when I left my job in May, so that was apparently enough - I just sent in the I-864EZ).

2. Second is the provision that you maintain a U.S. residence. I THINK you have to be a resident even if you are using a co-sponsor, but maybe not... others will have to weigh in here. I was trying to do it without using a co-sponsor.

So if you don't need residency with a co-sponsor, or if you have someone living in your current house/apartment who can handle your mail, none of the following applies to you. If you have to give up an apartment, as I did, read on...

Before I left, I changed *everything* to a friend's address - driver's license, voter registration, SS card, bank accounts and credit cards, etc, and made copies of these in case residency was ever an issue. It wasn't. I filed the change of address online with USCIS and had their mailed receipt notice. [side note: when we got to our interview I could see our original I-130, and someone had scribbled in red ink the new address - funny]

I had originally thought to use my mother's address in Oklahoma but luckily I posted at VJ, and it was deemed to possibly cause two problems: it would probably have changed my service center from CSC to VSC and I can't imagine how much confusion that would have generated. And I wasn't really a *resident* there, as in I would have had to open a bank account and driver's license from Oklahoma. Hence, using the friend. So whatever address you use should be in the same half of the country as where you applied, ideally in the same state so you don't have to change driver's license. There may be a way around this, but I also used this address as where my spouse will live upon arrival in the U.S. We will change the address with USCIS when we have a real home again.

One thing to think about in your case is that if you use your parents' address as your residence, you might have to use the household members I-864A. But I know VERY LITTLE about this, so if that is the case you will have to look into that.

3. The third major thing to think about kind of goes along with the above. You need someone at that U.S. address who can scan any correspondence from USCIS or NVC. We didn't have any RFEs but if you do, you would need a copy of that, either a scan or have them FedEx it. We were so lucky that the NVC online system was just starting when we were approved so we didn't have to use any of the James' shortcuts, just paid online and sent our packages from here. Actually, I FedExed my DS-230 package to my mother and she sent it with U.S. mail but I probably could have sent it directly. I just wasn't sure about FedEx to NVC and I wanted to be able to track it AND Bulgarian mail is far from reliable.

You just have to find a way to call the NVC from Colombia if you want to check your status updates and find out your interview date once approved. Or you can wait for the mail to come.

Those were the major things. Just make sure you have the right approval to stay in Colombia for a long time. For Bulgaria, I had to get a special visa to stay more than 90 days within a 6-month period and I HAD to apply for that from the U.S. as they are eliminating the ability to do it from neighboring countries. Luckily I sorted all that out before I left. What a pain.

When I first posted about this in February or so, it seemed like some people were afraid this would cause a problem on the U.S. side. If anything, the fact that I was here spoke for itself that we have a real marriage. Our interview consisted of a CO looking at all of our photos - she actually didn't ask us any questions! She was very impressed that I was here and that my mother had come to visit us.

That's what I know from my experience. When I posted before, others PM-ed me who were doing the same and said if I had the ability, it is an invaluable opportunity. I just figured it was a great idea to get to know his friends, family, language, culture, etc. It was a sacrifice giving up a great job and my home, but oh well, I feel lucky that I could do it. It has been an adventure!

Best of luck to you!

/bb

[Jaqui 0]

I have to look into this but this is the second time I read that although you left your job you could still be the sole sponsor for your SO? Whoa - thats great no co-sponsor. How does this work?

[ninaetmilo 0]

thanks! I really appreciate all of your responses! I have made up my mind and will join my husband. I hope to be able to be with him for his birthday. I feel very confident in my new decision thanks to all of your wise words.