My new life...... Not so new but need to rant

[idontknow 0]

I have been n the states for almost 3 years.

I love being here with the hubby ( he is the OSC ).

Well first, sorry that Im using a different name right now. I sometime post here, but I just need a place to rant without risking being identified.

I have been having this problem for a while.

You see when I first came here, me and husband started from scratch, and at the same time he is trying to help the family out that time since he is the

oldest. I took a minimum wage job because it is really hard for me to get a job without experience. So with both of us working and the family members

working on and off, we have to pay of the house bills and everything. I said most, because as I mentioned before, they are working on and off...they

will help when they feels like it. Except for the youngest sibling ( sis in law ) who is always trying to help us out which is good (unlike her other

brother and sister )

The problem is, I always have this guilty feelings because, they help us signing the paperwork, because at that time husband didnt make enough to petition me.

So I feels that without that signature, I would never able to be here . So I feel obligate to help when things turn out bad.

I have no problem helping people who already try their hardest and still not able to make end meets, but this is not the case. Im talking about bunch

of adult who is still living with their parents and not working. Yes we were staying with them for quite some time, but we are helping my parents in law

and at the same time we are paying the house rent and some other bills.

We finally moved out after I got a new job in another city. and things are started to get better for us. But once a while we are still helping my husband parents

out because they are old and dont make enough. One time we have to help with the rent because none of the adults children are working ( or just quit

because they job didnt fit them or stuff like that )

We are not rich but our new income does help us to live with decent lifestyle. I am just tired of this situation. They have fun, they went out....and during financial

burden, we are the one who has to be responsible for the parents because us being the oldest and probably because they help us to bring me here last time.

They are nice to me yes.....but I could tell that they dont have any clue at all on saving up, helping parents out.......all they think off is them, and their personal needs.

and most of them are going to be 30 soon. Yes I know, it is embarrassing to even admit that even they are only my in laws.

I have my personal need and I just dont know what to do.

[KarenCee 3]

You know, helping older or aged parents is one thing. Helping adults who are too lazy to help themselves is another. At some point, these adult children will have to stand on their own feet. If this were me, I would continue to help the aged parents but not so sure about the other adults. IMHO it is enabling them to continue to be dependents rather than standing on their own.

What will they do when NO ONE is around to help them?

[jundp 191]

You know, helping older or aged parents is one thing. Helping adults who are too lazy to help themselves is another. At some point, these adult children will have to stand on their own feet. If this were me, I would continue to help the aged parents but not so sure about the other adults. IMHO it is enabling them to continue to be dependents rather than standing on their own.

What will they do when NO ONE is around to help them?

Took the words right outta my mouth.

[Ontarkie 13,915]

this is just a thought here but maybe its time to find your inlaws a nice cute appartment where the others then would be on there own. If your inlaws own the house it could be sold and set them up for the rest of their lives kinda thing. But it would have to have some kid of financial advor to set up the money in a way that all your brother/sister inlaws couldnt bleed them dry.

[Kamz 0]

this is just a thought here but maybe its time to find your inlaws a nice cute appartment where the others then would be on there own. If your inlaws own the house it could be sold and set them up for the rest of their lives kinda thing. But it would have to have some kid of financial advor to set up the money in a way that all your brother/sister inlaws couldnt bleed them dry.

I agree very much so!

It is never wrong to help people in need... NEED - is what makes it all stand out. They don't NEED your support, they're too lazy to sober up. Oh well, if you keep helping out, when will they learn to have some backbone?