FEELING BAD / LIKE WE NEVER EVEN MET

[Removed-2015May22 0]

I HAVE BEEN VERY FORTUNATE TO VISIT MY HONEY APPROXIMATELY EVERY 3 MONTHS. BUT A WEEK OR TWO BEFORE I GO IS WHEN I FEEL THE MOST DISTANT, LIKE IT'S A BLIND DATE OR SOMETHING.

IT'S ALMOST LIKE EVERYTHING WE KNOW ABOUT EACHOTHER GOES OUT THE WINDOW, IT'S NEARLY INTOLERABLE. WE ARE GREAT WHEN WE ARE TOGETHER, AND WE PLAN AND ORGANISE TERRIFICALLY EVEN FROM AFAR. BUT APPROACHING EACH VISIT I FEEL DESTROYED.

ADMITTEDLY, I HAD A BAD MARRIAGE HERE IN THE STATES, BUT I DON'T THINK IT IS SOLELY "TRUST ISSUES" I AM DEALING WITH.

I THINK IT HAS TO DO WITH THE HAPPINESS I SEE IN MY PERUVIAN GIRL, AND HOW THE U.S. IS NOT AS FRIENDLY, I FEEL LIKE I WOULD RUIN HER HAPPINESS BY BRINGING HER HERE.

DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY ADVICE OR EXPERIENCE IN THIS?

I LEAVE AGAIN TO SEE HER IN A WEEK, AND IT IS STARTING AGAIN. ON MY SECOND TRIP I LITERALLY HAD A FULL SCALE PANIC ATTACK ON MY WAY THERE, AND I ALWAYS THOUGHT THOSE WERE ONLY RESERVED FOR "WUSSIES" HAHA

THANKS IN ADVANCE, GARY

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

I THINK IT HAS TO DO WITH THE HAPPINESS I SEE IN MY PERUVIAN GIRL, AND HOW THE U.S. IS NOT AS FRIENDLY, I FEEL LIKE I WOULD RUIN HER HAPPINESS BY BRINGING HER HERE.

Is you moving there an option?

The US, outside of immigrant neighborhoods, can certainly be an inhospitable place.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

I can understand your concerns --- sending you good vibes.

A big part of her adapting to the US is also your support and the social network you can provide her with.

[HAL 9000 96]

Good luck... just tell her you have nice Peruvian places to check out in Chicago.

[raymaga 26]

I'm sure you two have discussed what life will be like when your fiance moves to the U.S. Leave the decision up to her as to whether she thinks she will be able to tolerate life in the U.S.

My husband and I had to have a very serious talk before we decided which one of us was going to immigrate to the other's home country.

In the end, we decided it would be easier and more financially smart for me to come to the U.S. rather than have him leave a good government job to come to Canada.

Edited August 20, 2008 by raymaga

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Home is where the heart is. No place is free from hatred just as no place is absent of kindness. If you two make a life here in the states, perhaps you can find a Peruvian community to be near.

[mnieto 2]

Home is where the heart is. No place is free from hatred just as no place is absent of kindness.

....very well put!

[Ken y Leidys 20]

I HAVE BEEN VERY FORTUNATE TO VISIT MY HONEY APPROXIMATELY EVERY 3 MONTHS. BUT A WEEK OR TWO BEFORE I GO IS WHEN I FEEL THE MOST DISTANT, LIKE IT'S A BLIND DATE OR SOMETHING.

DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY ADVICE OR EXPERIENCE IN THIS?

Gary,

Question: How long has it been since your divorce? This might have a lot to do with how you're feeling.

Question: Do you have a favorite activity that allows you to burn off energy? Drinking and using depressants won't help.

When my significant other decided to quit talking to me and decided to not pay her phone bill, I began to really feel distant from her. 9 months worth of relationship were tossed out the window. I couldn't eat, and my nerves were completely out of control. You could call this major anxiety.

I decided the best thing to do was to exercise, and this helped me get a better grip on my emotions and the stress I was going through. What you are going through is completely different because your gf is happy, and you are just getting the pre-visit jitters. Relax, but you have to do something constructive to keep yourself calm. Hang in there, buddy.

[Removed-2015May22 0]

YEAH THAT'S IT, PRE VISIT GITTERS. THING IS IT'S BEEN 5-6 YEARS SINCE THE DIVORCE, SO I'M OVER THAT.

THIS GIRL IS GREAT, INNOCENT, BEAUTIFUL, SMART AND FUNNY. MAYBE A LOT MORE SOCIABLE THAN ME, BUT WHEN WE ARE TOGETHER EVERYTHING IS GREAT.

ANYTHING IS SIMPLE LIVING IN THE MOMENT, BUT I DON'T WANT TO MAKE A MISTAKE FOR EITHER OF US. BUT ONE WEEK BEFORE A VISIT ALL MY GHOSTS COME OUT OF HIDING, AND MY GHOSTS CAN BE PRETTY CREATIVE.

THANKS FOR THE "HANG IN THERE" I GUESS I WAS HOPING IT WAS MORE THAN JUST ME THAT GET THESE THINGS.

IT'S LIKE THIS INCREDIBLE FEELING THAT THIS COULD BECOME THE BEST THING OF MY LIFE , OR THE MOST DIRE CATASROPHE. PERHAPS BECAUSE WE ARE DEALING DIRECTLY WITH GOVERNMENTS AND PERMISSIONS THAT NEED TO BE GRANTED. I DON'T KNOW.

BUT THANKS, YEAH I KNOW I WILL SEE HER AGAIN AND BE JUST FINE.