What has your adjustment to life in the USA been like?

[USA1138 0]

Hello all,

Now that the reality is here I juat wanted to (hopefully honestly) hear from some of you out there.

What has it been like for you here in the USA?

For those of you that have been here for about a year now, is everything the same for you? Is your love still as strong?

What if any problems have you had in your relationship and how have you overcome them?

What do you miss back home?

How long after you have been here did you wait until you returned back home to visit? Was it just as hard to leave the second time to come back to the USA?

What did you think life would be like here in the USA before you came here and now that you are here what do you think? What would you tell someone life is like here?

Do you find our foods to be the same or totally different?

Has any of his/her friends offended you in anyway and how did you handle it?

Have you had any racial issues?

Is your husband/wife everything you had hoped for? Has anything changed?

What have you enjoyed the most about being here in the USA? What have you not enjoyed?

I am asking this to all of you because recently while trying to book my flight, the travel agent stated he has been dealing with the Philippine culture since 1964 and he flat out stated that my marriage would break down in 9-12 months. That I should hold off on Marrying her and see how the first 60 days go. Not to have a child within the first year. This shocked me to be hearing this. He went on stating that she will hear things she does not like while being here. She will keep things in. She will miss her family too much. She will realize that people here are not as friendly as back home. Family is not as close to one another here as back home. It will all start to build within her until about that 9-12 month period and she will ask to go home. He said he has seen it time and time again over the past 40 years of booking flights for people getting married to filippina girls. I was silent on the phone. I was in shock.

After I hung the phone up I felt my heart drop. I had a talk with her(fiance) that night about all these issues that the travel agent raised. She stated this is her decision. She understands fully what she is doing and as long as I am by her side, she will be fine. She stated we can build our own family here(USA) and raise them the way we want.

That is why I asked the above questions. If you would please answer what you wish and feel free to comment on what the travel agent said after.

Thanks ~J~

[~bLairwhich~ 0]

What has it been like for you here in the USA? I haven't gone to U.S. yet but been in my husband's Camp in South Korea where everything feels like U.S., I mean people are all US citizen whether it's Black or White, shopping centers, libraries, food courts, laundy area,sports center,gym, theater, bathroom, etc. are basically of American standard. . It was not that hard to adjust because as you all ready know, we can speak the English language, so it's not hard to cope and communicate, or even to hear and understand what other people in the surroundings are saying. At least there's feeling of belongingness even without directly communicating with those people around the Camp. I felt that I still belong. It was hard for me dealing outside the Camp when everybody speaks Korean, very few speaks Englsih and those few got limited English, so I feel uneasy and have the feeling that I am discriminated, feels out of place. Back in the Camp, I felt like I "belong" again.

For those of you that have been here for about a year now, is everything the same for you? Is your love still as strong?

I can’t answer this one, haven’t been in the U.S. yet…but…Being my husband alone for more than a year feels like living in America all ready because I pretty much have to adjust with his American way of living...from food to correct English! It wasn't hard at all, I thought trials makes the relationship and love for each other stronger.

What if any problems have you had in your relationship and how have you overcome them? We overcome it, it’s basically about shallow things like he wants me to wear rubber shoes when I feel wearing my ballet shoes or slippers!

What do you miss back home? I missed my parents, they are so loving parents, I'm their only daughter so I worried more about them missing me, than me thinking of being homesick.

How long after you have been here did you wait until you returned back home to visit? Was it just as hard to leave the second time to come back to the USA? N/A

What did you think life would be like here in the USA before you came here and now that you are here what do you think? What would you tell someone life is like here?

Life in the U.S. is fast paced!!!!

Do you find our foods to be the same or totally different? Totally not fried! LOL

Has any of his/her friends offended you in anyway and how did you handle it? Most are complements, never heard any offensive comment yet…if I heard one…I will just ignore it.

Have you had any racial issues? None at all.

Is your husband/wife everything you had hoped for? Has anything changed? None at all, he was more than I expected!

Outside factors might arise and might affect the relationship in some way but I believe love always prevail. That lady have no right to predict or to warn you at all, not all unsuccessful marriage that she knew about will happen to you or to me or to any of her customer. Maybe she is just envious!

I have nice time answering your questions. Stay stronger, I find it sweet that you are asking this things for improving your relationship. God bless!

What has it been like for you here in the USA? I haven't gone to U.S. yet but been in my husband's Camp in South Korea where everything feels like U.S., I mean people are all US citizen whether it's Black or White, shopping centers, libraries, food courts, laundy area,sports center,gym, theater, bathroom, etc. are basically of American standard. . It was not that hard to adjust because as you all ready know, we can speak the English language, so it's not hard to cope and communicate, or even to hear and understand what other people in the surroundings are saying. At least there's feeling of belongingness even without directly communicating with those people around the Camp. I felt that I still belong. It was hard for me dealing outside the Camp when everybody speaks Korean, very few speaks Englsih and those few got limited English, so I feel uneasy and have the feeling that I am discreminated, feels out of place. Back in the Camp, I felt like I "belong" again.

For those of you that have been here for about a year now, is everything the same for you? Is your love still as strong?

I can’t answer this one, haven’t been in the U.S. yet…but…Being my husband alone for more than a year feels like living in America all ready because I pretty much have to adjust with his American way of living...from food to correct English! It wasn't hard at all, I thought trials makes the relationship and love for each other stronger.

What if any problems have you had in your relationship and how have you overcome them? We overcome it, it’s basically about shallow things like he wants me to wear rubber shoes everytime when I feel wearing my ballet shoes or slippers!

What do you miss back home? I missed my parents, they are so loving parents, was their only daughter so I worried more about them missing me than me thinking of being homesick.

How long after you have been here did you wait until you returned back home to visit? Was it just as hard to leave the second time to come back to the USA? N/A

What did you think life would be like here in the USA before you came here and now that you are here what do you think? What would you tell someone life is like here?

Life in the U.S. is fast paced!!!!

Do you find our foods to be the same or totally different? Totally not fried! LOL

Has any of his/her friends offended you in anyway and how did you handle it? Most are complements, never heard any offensive comment yet…if I heard one…I will just ignore it.

Have you had any racial issues? None at all.

Is your husband/wife everything you had hoped for? Has anything changed? None at all, he was more than I expected!

Outside factors might arise and might affect the relationship in some way but I believe love always prevail. That lady have no right to predict or to warn you at all, not all unsuccessful marriage that she knew about will happen to you or to me or to any of her customer. Maybe she is just envious!

I have nice time answering your questions. Stay stronger, I find it sweet that you are asking this things for improving your relationship. God bless!

Edited July 24, 2008 by blairbitxh

[chris and lorie 0]

i've been here at the US for 1 yr and 3 mos now.Our love is getting stronger everyday especially now that we have a 6 mos old baby.There's still times that i feel homesick esp when he's out of town and we're alone at the house.I miss my family and friends.I miss the simple but happy life at PI.After a year, we went back to PI to have our wedding there,leaving my family for the 2nd time is not as hard as the first time.My husband's friends are all nice.Being homesick is normal but i know soon i will get over it.My love for my husband is the important thing so i have to adapt to American ways of life

[soon~tobe 0]

I am the USC, but I have lived oversees for 3 years. I think it is normal to go through culture shock somewhere in the 6-9 month mark. You just are sick of where you are and want home. The most important think I have found for my self is to mentally remind myself that it is culture shock and then to just push throw. It ussally only last about 2 months at the most and then I go back to enjoying the foreign country. I also thinking not going home for atleast the 1st year makes it easier.

The most important thing to realise is you SO is going to have some culture shock, and I think ussally it is a delayed reaction (doesn't happen right away), but just be supportive through the hard times.

[envy_me 18]

What has it been like for you here in the USA?

- really different from back at home.. i mean the culture is different..

For those of you that have been here for about a year now, is everything the same for you? Is your love still as strong?

- N/A, ive been here only for a month..

What if any problems have you had in your relationship and how have you overcome them?

- communication! we try to talk things out and never go to sleep or end the day with a bad note..

What do you miss back home?

- ALL! honestly, i miss all things esp my family..

How long after you have been here did you wait until you returned back home to visit? Was it just as hard to leave the second time to come back to the USA?

- N/A

What did you think life would be like here in the USA before you came here and now that you are here what do you think? What would you tell someone life is like here?

- before i came here, i thought it would be much easier since il be with my SO but then i kinda got culture shocked.. now that im here, im still learning things and tryin to deal with things as much as i can.. i would tell someone that life is different here compared to back at home.. i mean here in the US, culture is very different, people are very straight and direct, everything's moving fast, and that you cant be so soft and sensitive here that's for sure..

Do you find our foods to be the same or totally different?

- no! almost the same, sometimes even better..

Has any of his/her friends offended you in anyway and how did you handle it?

- no, and i dnt think that would happen, my SO's friends are nice.. and i hope it stays like that..

Have you had any racial issues?

- hell no! maybe culture issues.. hahaha!

Is your husband/wife everything you had hoped for? Has anything changed?

- yes he is the one i ever hope for, even more.. and yes! there are changes, we became more close and we try to love each other more each day now that we're together..

What have you enjoyed the most about being here in the USA? What have you not enjoyed?

- im enjoyin everything here in the US with my SO.. and i think there's nothin not to enjoy especially when you're with your loved one..

with what the agent said.. i think that he's just pickin or maybe just seein the bad side..

oh well, everyone's entitled to his or her opinion so let him be..

i mean for me who really cares abt his or her opinion..

everything in this world is abt risk taking..

you gotta do what you gotta do to be with your loved one..

Edited July 24, 2008 by envy_me

[RonMay 1]

im here in the US since january of 2007 ( 1 yr and 6 months) and been back top phil last nov. of 07 and will visit again this coming oct. in God's will... life's been tough while adjusting but nothing major... its part of the life that i chose (to be w/ my husband), and leaving my family behind and up rooting myself from the things that im used to... still, im happy here and living the life as a happy wife... of course there's always misunderstanding between my husband and i (not a perfect marriage, who does right?), but it help us grow everyday and more stronger also... i miss my family, food and all but some things has to be compensated... now that ive work here in the US, people are treating me so nicely since they know im different and they're curios about my culture also in a good way... bad talks and influences are there but its always up to you on how would you carry and react to it... all in all, im happy here, as much as i can say that im happy also if i were in phil. (important is, im w/ my loveone/s, wherever i may be)...

[envy_me 18]

What has it been like for you here in the USA?

- really different from back at home.. i mean the culture is different..

For those of you that have been here for about a year now, is everything the same for you? Is your love still as strong?

- N/A, ive been here only for a month..

What if any problems have you had in your relationship and how have you overcome them?

- communication! we try to talk things out and never go to sleep or end the day with a bad note.. B)

What do you miss back home?

- ALL! honestly, i miss all things esp my family..

How long after you have been here did you wait until you returned back home to visit? Was it just as hard to leave the second time to come back to the USA?

- N/A

What did you think life would be like here in the USA before you came here and now that you are here what do you think? What would you tell someone life is like here?

- before i came here, i thought it would be much easier since il be with my SO but then i kinda got culture shocked.. now that im here, im still learning things and tryin to deal with things as much as i can.. i would tell someone that life is different here compared to back at home.. i mean here in the US, culture is very different, people are very straight and direct, everything's moving fast, and that you cant be so soft and sensitive here that's for sure..

Do you find our foods to be the same or totally different?

- no! almost the same, sometimes even better..

Has any of his/her friends offended you in anyway and how did you handle it?

- no, and i dnt think that would happen, my SO's friends are nice.. and i hope they stay like that..

Have you had any racial issues?

- hell no! maybe culture issues.. hahaha!

Is your husband/wife everything you had hoped for? Has anything changed?

- yes he is the one i ever hope for, even more.. and yes! there are changes, we became more close and we try to love each other more each day now that we're together..

What have you enjoyed the most about being here in the USA? What have you not enjoyed?

- im enjoyin everything here in the US with my SO.. and i think there's nothin not to enjoy especially when you're with your loved one..

with what the agent said.. i think that he's just pickin or maybe just seein the bad side..

oh well, everyone's entitled to his or her opinion so let him be..

i mean for me who really cares abt his or her opinion..

everything in this world is abt risk taking..

you gotta do what you gotta do to be with your loved one..

[envy_me 18]

What has it been like for you here in the USA?

- really different from back at home.. i mean the culture is different..

For those of you that have been here for about a year now, is everything the same for you? Is your love still as strong?

- N/A, ive been here only for a month..

What if any problems have you had in your relationship and how have you overcome them?

- communication! we try to talk things out and never go to sleep or end the day with a bad note.. B)

What do you miss back home?

- ALL! honestly, i miss all things esp my family..

How long after you have been here did you wait until you returned back home to visit? Was it just as hard to leave the second time to come back to the USA?

- N/A

What did you think life would be like here in the USA before you came here and now that you are here what do you think? What would you tell someone life is like here?

- before i came here, i thought it would be much easier since il be with my SO but then i kinda got culture shocked.. now that im here, im still learning things and tryin to deal with things as much as i can.. i would tell someone that life is different here compared to back at home.. i mean here in the US, culture is very different, people are very straight and direct, everything's moving fast, and that you cant be so soft and sensitive here that's for sure.. but then US is a very nice place with nice peeps..

Do you find our foods to be the same or totally different?

- no! almost the same, sometimes even better..

Has any of his/her friends offended you in anyway and how did you handle it?

- no, and i dnt think that would happen, my SO's friends are nice.. and i hope they stay like that..

Have you had any racial issues?

- hell no! maybe culture issues.. hahaha!

Is your husband/wife everything you had hoped for? Has anything changed?

- yes he is the one i ever hope for, even more.. and yes! there are changes, we became more close and we try to love each other more each day now that we're together..

What have you enjoyed the most about being here in the USA? What have you not enjoyed?

- im enjoyin everything here in the US with my SO.. and i think there's nothin not to enjoy especially when you're with you're loved one..

with what the agent said.. i think that he's just pickin or maybe just seein the bad side..

oh well, everyone's entitled to his or her opinion so let him be..

i mean for me who really cares abt his or her opinion..

everything in this world is abt risk taking..

you gotta do what you gotta do to be with you're loved one..

Edited July 24, 2008 by envy_me

[envy_me 18]

sorry abt the multiple posts..

VJ was acting weird here..

[USA1138 0]

sorry abt the multiple posts..

VJ was acting weird here..

Thanks for the replys so far.

[RyaNRiza 1]

I've not been in the US to live with my soon-to-be husband yet but I think the major thing I will find difficult to overcome is missing my friends and family. The decision to leave the country I grew up with almost all of my life is not that easy but my love and my desire to be with the man I love weighs heavier than staying here. Anyhow, we will be building our own family. Aside from having the gift of joy as we start to build our own home/family, it will be a great remedy for me from coping of missing home. Although, I will always miss home

I hope to answer most of your questions when I'm in the US and have experience life there. So, keep this post alive

[ED*Riza 0]

Hello all,

Now that the reality is here I juat wanted to (hopefully honestly) hear from some of you out there.

What has it been like for you here in the USA? Everything is different from the life I had there in Phil. Our life there is so laid back.

For those of you that have been here for about a year now, is everything the same for you? Is your love still as strong? Stronger everyday

What if any problems have you had in your relationship and how have you overcome them? Open communication is the key. We don't let the sun go down on issues.

What do you miss back home? Family and friends and Jeepneys

How long after you have been here did you wait until you returned back home to visit? Was it just as hard to leave the second time to come back to the USA? Been here for 9 months now and we plan to go home this October.

What did you think life would be like here in the USA before you came here and now that you are here what do you think? What would you tell someone life is like here? I already have some idea of the life here before I arrived since my youngest sister is here. I just taught that I could find job that easy and money is easy but it is not really . People here work so hard and always on the run. I always tell my family and friends the reality of the life here. You have to work hard to have money.

Do you find our foods to be the same or totally different? not really, I can eat all food here.

Has any of his/her friends offended you in anyway and how did you handle it? Never

Have you had any racial issues? Sometimes.. instead of talking to me they will talk to my husband thinking that I don't speak English.

Is your husband/wife everything you had hoped for? Has anything changed? yeah He really is.

What have you enjoyed the most about being here in the USA? What have you not enjoyed? Being with the man I love so much, driving and going to places.

I am asking this to all of you because recently while trying to book my flight, the travel agent stated he has been dealing with the Philippine culture since 1964 and he flat out stated that my marriage would break down in 9-12 months. That I should hold off on Marrying her and see how the first 60 days go. Not to have a child within the first year. This shocked me to be hearing this. He went on stating that she will hear things she does not like while being here. She will keep things in. She will miss her family too much. She will realize that people here are not as friendly as back home. Family is not as close to one another here as back home. It will all start to build within her until about that 9-12 month period and she will ask to go home. He said he has seen it time and time again over the past 40 years of booking flights for people getting married to filippina girls. I was silent on the phone. I was in shock.

After I hung the phone up I felt my heart drop. I had a talk with her(fiance) that night about all these issues that the travel agent raised. She stated this is her decision. She understands fully what she is doing and as long as I am by her side, she will be fine. She stated we can build our own family here(USA) and raise them the way we want.

That is why I asked the above questions. If you would please answer what you wish and feel free to comment on what the travel agent said after.

Thanks ~J~

[gensdad515 2]

Hello all,

Now that the reality is here I juat wanted to (hopefully honestly) hear from some of you out there.

What has it been like for you here in the USA? Everything is different from the life I had there in Phil. Our life there is so laid back.

For those of you that have been here for about a year now, is everything the same for you? Is your love still as strong? Stronger everyday

What if any problems have you had in your relationship and how have you overcome them? Open communication is the key. We don't let the sun go down on issues.

What do you miss back home? Family and friends and Jeepneys

How long after you have been here did you wait until you returned back home to visit? Was it just as hard to leave the second time to come back to the USA? Been here for 9 months now and we plan to go home this October.

What did you think life would be like here in the USA before you came here and now that you are here what do you think? What would you tell someone life is like here? I already have some idea of the life here before I arrived since my youngest sister is here. I just taught that I could find job that easy and money is easy but it is not really . People here work so hard and always on the run. I always tell my family and friends the reality of the life here. You have to work hard to have money.

Do you find our foods to be the same or totally different? not really, I can eat all food here.

Has any of his/her friends offended you in anyway and how did you handle it? Never

Have you had any racial issues? Sometimes.. instead of talking to me they will talk to my husband thinking that I don't speak English.

Is your husband/wife everything you had hoped for? Has anything changed? yeah He really is.

What have you enjoyed the most about being here in the USA? What have you not enjoyed? Being with the man I love so much, driving and going to places.

I am asking this to all of you because recently while trying to book my flight, the travel agent stated he has been dealing with the Philippine culture since 1964 and he flat out stated that my marriage would break down in 9-12 months. That I should hold off on Marrying her and see how the first 60 days go. Not to have a child within the first year. This shocked me to be hearing this. He went on stating that she will hear things she does not like while being here. She will keep things in. She will miss her family too much. She will realize that people here are not as friendly as back home. Family is not as close to one another here as back home. It will all start to build within her until about that 9-12 month period and she will ask to go home. He said he has seen it time and time again over the past 40 years of booking flights for people getting married to filippina girls. I was silent on the phone. I was in shock.

After I hung the phone up I felt my heart drop. I had a talk with her(fiance) that night about all these issues that the travel agent raised. She stated this is her decision. She understands fully what she is doing and as long as I am by her side, she will be fine. She stated we can build our own family here(USA) and raise them the way we want.

That is why I asked the above questions. If you would please answer what you wish and feel free to comment on what the travel agent said after.

Thanks ~J~

Hi, I am the part of the couple that lives in the US , haved lived most of my life. I just wanted to comment on the travel agent. I guess she was trying to do you a favor (In her mind) and warn you. I thought she was being really rude , she does not really know you or your fiancee or your relationship. It is not fair to generalize. I have spoken with my fiancee and asked her if she is sure that she wants to do this, that life in the US is different from other countries. I have not candy coated the issues for her, she will miss her family, friends, her lifestyle, things will be totally different. Some things will be better but for her some things will be worse. You can do things to help her adjust to the differences maybe there are some groups that they could join to communicate with that would be going through the same issues. Good luck!! J.

[DARUMA07 25]

I have to speak for Ruchie because she is not home...

In all Honesty! The first year will be rough, but that is in all relationships. Not just American/Filipino....

I think Homesickness would be the most difficult problem she will face... You will have to really be supportive and understanding for her. You have to remember that she left her family thousands of miles away and now she is in this strange country.

I remember one of the first things that Ruchie noticed about Americans was How Blunt and Outspoken we are...... I told her not to take things personal or be too sensitive ...

You will have your ups as well as your downs, but with hardwork and understanding you will make the transition alot easier.

I wouldn't let what the travel agent get to you. Don't let anyone put doubts in your head. It's only going to give you negative thoughts of your Fiancee or wife.

I wish you both Luck, but remember "Give her the benefit of the doubt"....

[macutelit 0]

Now that the reality is here I juat wanted to (hopefully honestly) hear from some of you out there.---IN ALL HONESTY!!!!

What has it been like for you here in the USA?If someone asking me how I like living here I always say IT'S OKAY might be yes or no...my husband know from the start the reason why I left my family in the philippines is only because of him.

For those of you that have been here for about a year now, is everything the same for you? Is your love still as strong? YES, we encountered a lot of problem for the past few years and we are married for almost a year now BUT i love him everyday especially now that we have little angel...

What if any problems have you had in your relationship and how have you overcome them?I am quiet when I felt something wrong BUT thanks GOD because my husband is always there for me to think and guess what is wrong But lately I realized that nothing will happen if I will be like that forever.

What do you miss back home?FAMILY FRIENDS AND MY COUNTRY

How long after you have been here did you wait until you returned back home to visit? Was it just as hard to leave the second time to come back to the USA?

What did you think life would be like here in the USA before you came here and now that you are here what do you think? What would you tell someone life is like here?I knew from the start what kind of life here and the way of living but my husband is US citizen so no choice need to leave my country

Do you find our foods to be the same or totally different? totally different and I dont think that you will find anywhere in the philippines that almost everyday the food is DING like here

Has any of his/her friends offended you in anyway and how did you handle it?

it never happen

Have you had any racial issues?Oh I remember one time...someone told me that I am not fuc---ng american then as what I said I am glad that I am not if I will be like them NO THANKS!!!!

Is your husband/wife everything you had hoped for? Has anything changed?I Love the whole him so i never hope

What have you enjoyed the most about being here in the USA? What have you not enjoyed?as long as my family here is complete that most matter to me