Biggest adjustment for Thais coming to U.S.

[symbiosis 0]

I lived with and worked in Thailand for 3 years, so would like to think I have an idea of what the cultural differences are, but theory and practice are not always the same.

I anticipate (hell, I know) food is going to be a big factor for my Noi feeling good about her new life in America. She'll need Thai food, but she (and I) are happy to make it. I personally LOVE Thai food, ate it everyday while I lived there and miss it in the U.S. To prepare for Noi's arrival (Ok ... I JUST filed for K-1), I have figured out where to get all the ingredients she'll need to make her favorite Thai dishes.

Religion, I suspect, will be a little less important, though I think she'll want to go to temple now and then. So, I have found a few temples in the region and plan to drop in on them in the next few months.

She thinks she's prepared for the winter cold, but I know she's going to be shocked/surprised. Not much I can do about that other than a good-quality gortex parka.

Is there anything big here I might be missing?

[YuAndDan 153]

You nailed it, my wife came from South China, so did not like the cold weather, FOOD, but religion was not an issue in her case.

My advice, seek out others from Thailand in your community and make friends, this gives your spouse a feeling of a safety net in a new strange land (USA), we did this and now have many friends from Taiwan, China, and Hong Kong living here in Rochester that my wife can chat with and we can do things with.

Food is always an issue, even the local restaurants that do make Chinese food, tend to "Americanize" the food, it has taken some time to find ones that are true to the home stile. Look for Asian, and Indian grocers for food.

[symbiosis 0]

You nailed it, my wife came from South China, so did not like the cold weather, FOOD, but religion was not an issue in her case.

My advice, seek out others from Thailand in your community and make friends, this gives your spouse a feeling of a safety net in a new strange land (USA), we did this and now have many friends from Taiwan, China, and Hong Kong living here in Rochester that my wife can chat with and we can do things with.

Food is always an issue, even the local restaurants that do make Chinese food, tend to "Americanize" the food, it has taken some time to find ones that are true to the home stile. Look for Asian, and Indian grocers for food.

Yeah, I got a heads up on the food thing when Noi and I took a trip to Hong Kong a few years ago (I lived there before Thailand), so really was having trouble finding "her" food and it became a major distraction for the otherwise pleasant visit.

I guess I should start hanging out more at the local Thai-owned restaurant ... even though I don't think the food there is that great!

[rin and john 71]

I lived with and worked in Thailand for 3 years, so would like to think I have an idea of what the cultural differences are, but theory and practice are not always the same.

I anticipate (hell, I know) food is going to be a big factor for my Noi feeling good about her new life in America. She'll need Thai food, but she (and I) are happy to make it. I personally LOVE Thai food, ate it everyday while I lived there and miss it in the U.S. To prepare for Noi's arrival (Ok ... I JUST filed for K-1), I have figured out where to get all the ingredients she'll need to make her favorite Thai dishes.

Religion, I suspect, will be a little less important, though I think she'll want to go to temple now and then. So, I have found a few temples in the region and plan to drop in on them in the next few months.

She thinks she's prepared for the winter cold, but I know she's going to be shocked/surprised. Not much I can do about that other than a good-quality gortex parka.

Is there anything big here I might be missing?

Other things to consider:

Calls to Thailand - you probably already have this covered if you call regularly. That expense will continue.

Thai TV - We subscribed to www.thaitv.tv (about $10/mo). It has both live TV and recorded shows/movies/etc.

Boredom and homesickness may set in. If she knows how to drive, that will help (if not it might be wise to go learn in Thailand and get an international license before coming here). Finding friends (via asian stores, Thai restaurants, neighbors, family) will help her acclimate faster.

Best of luck!

John

[patricks 0]

If you're near the DC area, there's a few Thai places but a lot more Vietnamese which is slightly similar. You can get Thai products regardless. You'll be surprised how fast she'll adapt to her new homeland.

My only one piece of advice to prepare her for life in America........Check online and see if you can find a Thai language DMV Driver's testing manual? I found a VNs language Driver's book in Orange County, California and I sent it to my wife in VN and then she had studied it in VN prior to arriving in the states and it helped her a lot, even though she took the test in Virginia (4 months after arrival)...... too bad they drive on the left side in Thailland :-)

Mai Pen Rai Khop........

[stardusted 0]

I was born and raised in Thailand, lived here most of my life, and the food was definitely the biggest thing I missed when living in America. But once we found a few good Thai restaurants and a couple of Asian supermarkets, I felt a million times better. It was also important for me to be around other Thai people sometimes. We went to the local Songkran festival, which was really comforting, and the ladies at Thai restaurants were always more than happy to chat with me.

What I found hard to adjust to was how matter-of-fact Americans are. As a Thai you're raised to be very polite, very soft-spoken, and to always worry about what you say so it does not offend anyone. So I found it hard at first to speak my mind. There's also the whole "kreng jai" factor, which made me hesitate to really ask for help, in case I burdened anyone with problems. So culturally I had a lot of adjusting to do.

And spoons! No one offers spoons in America! Used to make me crazy.

[symbiosis 0]

great advice, here. many thanks. I looked up Thai TV, which seems to be a satellite service, but through that I found a DVD service. That's perfect!

[rin and john 71]

great advice, here. many thanks. I looked up Thai TV, which seems to be a satellite service, but through that I found a DVD service. That's perfect!

Symbiosis - Did you go to www.thaitv.tv (not .com)? Try the link:

http://www.thaitv.tv/th/default/default.as...%2fDefault.aspx

It is an online service, not satellite. Rin and the children watch it everyday on the computer.

John

And yeah, I had to buy more spoons!

[symbiosis 0]

great advice, here. many thanks. I looked up Thai TV, which seems to be a satellite service, but through that I found a DVD service. That's perfect!

Symbiosis - Did you go to www.thaitv.tv (not .com)? Try the link:

http://www.thaitv.tv/th/default/default.as...%2fDefault.aspx

It is an online service, not satellite. Rin and the children watch it everyday on the computer.

John

And yeah, I had to buy more spoons!

thanks! I went to the site, but don't read Thai, so I sort of assumed it was a sat dish thing. But great that it's online! That's perfect.

Funny thing about the spoons ... when I first moved to BKK I thought the spoon thing was a bit odd, but after three years there I got really used to it! Esp. for rice, it makes a lot of sense.

[e_b_d 0]

My (Thai) husband and I are moving to the US soon... I appreciated all your comments, especially about the TV, because my husband loves to watch TV and I know he'll get tired of so much English practice all the time. I have been practicing making Thai food here in Thailand, so that when we get there I can cook it for us, and I'll be taking some supplies with me and looking forward to seeing what I can buy in North Carolina. I don't even know if there are many Thais in NC, but I hope we'll find them...

Best wishes to all.

[Melrose Plant 1]

Goodness, FOOD is the big thing. I never imagined how much of an adjustment that would be, since I ate Vietnamese food the whole time I was over there (total of 10 weeks), and only hated a couple of things. Hell, I ate some REALLY WEIRD STUFF when I was there, and I am not a "garbage can."

Mai's been here for 3 weeks now, and she hates everything I cook for her, be it Italian, French, Mexican, or American. I did make a stir fry that was Chinese "style" that she liked OK. I'm beginning to doubt my skill in the kitchen. She says just give her time. I try to be as understanding as I can, and we eat Vietnamese food mostly.

We are very lucky. A friend of my father has a son who married a Vietnamese woman (she has lived in the U.S. a long time). She took it upon herself to call Mai and introduce herself, and she showed us the good Asian supermarket, volunteered to teach Mai how to drive, etc. I feel we are very lucky.

Good luck to all new immigrants! It is really not so bad here, but it does take some getting used to!

[Kang Lang 7]

My (Thai) husband and I are moving to the US soon... I appreciated all your comments, especially about the TV, because my husband loves to watch TV and I know he'll get tired of so much English practice all the time. I have been practicing making Thai food here in Thailand, so that when we get there I can cook it for us, and I'll be taking some supplies with me and looking forward to seeing what I can buy in North Carolina. I don't even know if there are many Thais in NC, but I hope we'll find them...

Best wishes to all.

e_b_d,

i have been to a temple in charlotte before not sure if you are near there but here you go...wat prazanimit.

good luck

[Matt_Stevens 5]

My wife hated so much, I don't even know where to begin. She hates the food here so much. Only crackers and chips are OK. Movie pop-corn too. Everything else... no way.

Of course there are far more complicated things, but I don't have the time to explain. I'd be here for years writing.

[patricks 0]

Hello Matt Stevens, Long time No see!

Yes, Matt would have a few stories to share, we're waiting.....?

Matt, how is life in Manhattan?

sorry to change the subject :-)

[Matt_Stevens 5]

I like Manhattan and I hate it. You could say I despise certain aspects of living in NYC. Our apartment is in Brooklyn, so the commute to mid town Manhattan sucks. Anh commutes to the Wall Street area, so it's not as bad for her. She also gets out an hour earlier than I do.

Hate not being able to drive everywhere.

Hate off-side parking.

Hate the bird s### all over my car each day because it has to be parked under trees.

Hate the smell of garbage on the streets.

Hate our apartment (it's an old building) and landlord (who won't fix numerous serious problems) and wish we could leave NOW, but are stuck here until December 1.

Hate the fact that Monday - Friday is so so so work related that I have no time to work out (I love to run).

Hate that we cannot do laundry in our building and have to drag it two blocks away to a laundromat owned by a crazy racist Korean guy.

Love the access to Asian food almost everywhere.

Love having Broadway and numerous art house movie theater within reach.

Love the numerous comic book shops all over Manhattan.

Love the fact that Anh is happy working in NYC.

So there are pros and cons. Clearly. Wish I had time to go into it all but my time is so so so limited because of life here. We both hope to simplify things soon, but that could prove to be most difficult. Nothing here in NYC is simple. And good Lord, the cost of living has gone up quite a bit since we arrived. Gas, food, utlities, everything has increased noticeably.

Oh well.

Edited June 25, 2008 by Matt_Stevens